Capt. Permit me, Madam, to tell you, that I do not think it would be
difficult to prevail upon your uncle, if you insist upon it, to come up
privately to town, and to give you with his own hand to Mr. Lovelace--
except, indeed, your present misunderstanding were to come to his ears.
Besides, Madam, your brother, it is likely, may at this very time be in
town; and he is resolved to find you out--
Cl. Why, Sir, should I be so much afraid of my brother? My brother has
injured me, not I him. Will my brother offer to me what Mr. Lovelace has
offered?--Wicked, ungrateful man! to insult a friendless, unprotected
creature, made friendless by himself!--I cannot, cannot think of him in
the light I once thought of him. What, Sir, to put myself into the power
of a wretch, who has acted by me with so much vile premeditation!--Who
shall pity, who shall excuse me, if I do, were I to suffer ever so much
from him?--No, Sir.--Let Mr. Lovelace leave me--let my brother find me.
I am not such a poor creature as to be afraid to face the brother who has
injured me.
Capt. Were you and your brother to meet only to confer together, to
expostulate, to clear up difficulties, it were another thing. But what,
Madam, can you think will be the issue of an interview, (Mr. Solmes with
him,) when he finds you unmarried, and resolved never to have Mr.
Lovelace; supposing Mr. Lovelace were not to interfere, which cannot be
imagined?
Cl. Well, Sir, I can only say, I am a very unhappy creature!--I must
resign to the will of Providence, and be patient under evils, which that
will not permit me to shun. But I have taken my measures. Mr. Lovelace
can never make me happy, nor I him. I wait here only for a letter from
Miss Howe--that must determine me--
Determine you as to Mr. Lovelace, Madam? interrupted the Captain.
Cl. I am already determined as to him.
Capt. If it be not in his favour, I have done. I cannot use stronger
arguments than I have used, and it would be impertinent to repeat them.
If you cannot forgive his offence, I am sure it must have been much
greater than he has owned to me. If you are absolutely determined, be
pleased to let me know what I shall say to your uncle? You were pleased
to tell me, that this day would put an end to what you called my trouble:
I should not have thought it any, could I have been an humble mean of
reconciling persons of worth and honour to each other.
Here I entered with a solemn air.
Lovel. Captain Tomlinson, I have heard a part of what has passed
between you and this unforgiving (however otherwise excellent) lady. I
am cut to the heart to find the dear creature so determined. I could
not have believed it possible, with such prospects, that I had so little
share in her esteem. Nevertheless I must do myself justice with regard
to the offence I was so unhappy as to give, since I find you are ready
to think it much greater than it really was.
Cl. I hear not, Sir, your recapitulations. I am, and ought to be, the
sole judge of insults offered to my person. I enter not into discussion
with you, nor hear you on the shocking subject. And was going.
I put myself between her and the door--You may hear all I have to say,
Madam. My fault is not of such a nature, but that you may. I will be a
just accuser of myself; and will not wound your ears.
I then protested that the fire was a real fire. [So it was.] I
disclaimed [less truly] premeditation. I owned that I was hurried on by
the violence of a youthful passion, and by a sudden impulse, which few
other persons, in the like situation, would have been able to check: that
I withdrew, at her command and entreaty, on the promise of pardon,
without having offered the least indecency, or any freedom, that would
not have been forgiven by persons of delicacy, surprised in an attitude
so charming--her terror, on the alarm of fire, calling for a soothing
behaviour, and personal tenderness, she being ready to fall into fits: my
hoped-for happy day so near, that I might be presumed to be looked upon
as a betrothed lover--and that this excuse might be pleaded even for the
women of the house, that they, thinking us actually married, might
suppose themselves to be the less concerned to interfere on so tender an
occasion.--[There, Jack, was a bold insinuation on behalf of the women!]
High indignation filled her disdainful eye, eye-beam after eye-beam
flashing at me. Every feature of her sweet face had soul in it. Yet she
spoke not. Perhaps, Jack, she had a thought, that this plea for the
women accounted for my contrivance to have her pass to them as married,
when I first carried her thither.
Capt. Indeed, Sir, I must say that you did not well to add to the
apprehensions of a lady so much terrified before.
The dear creature offered to go by me. I set my back against the door,
and besought her to stay a few moments. I had not said thus much, my
dearest creature, but for your sake, as well as for my own, that Captain
Tomlinson should not think I had been viler than I was. Nor will I say
one word more on the subject, after I have appealed to your own heart,
whether it was not necessary that I should say so much; and to the
Captain, whether otherwise he would not have gone away with a much worse
opinion of me, if he had judged of my offence by the violence of your
resentment.
Capt. Indeed I should. I own I should. And I am very glad, Mr.
Lovelace, that you are able to defend yourself thus far.
Cl. That cause must be well tried, where the offender takes his seat
upon the same bench with the judge.--I submit not mine to men--nor, give
me leave to say, to you, Captain Tomlinson, though I am willing to have a
good opinion of you. Had not the man been assured that he had influenced
you in his favour, he would not have brought you up to Hampstead.
Capt. That I am influenced, as you call it, Madam, is for the sake of
your uncle, and for your own sake, more (I will say to Mr. Lovelace's
face) than for his. What can I have in view but peace and
reconciliation? I have, from the first, blamed, and I now, again, blame
Mr. Lovelace, for adding distress to distress, and terror to terror; the
lady, as you acknowledge, Sir, [looking valiantly,] ready before to fall
into fits.
Lovel. Let me own to you, Captain Tomlinson, that I have been a very
faulty, a very foolish man; and, if this dear creature ever honoured me
with her love, an ungrateful one. But I have had too much reason to
doubt it. And this is now a flagrant proof that she never had the value
for me which my proud heart wished for; that, with such prospects before
us; a day so near; settlements approved and drawn; her uncle meditating a
general reconciliation which, for her sake, not my own, I was desirous to
give into; she can, for an offence so really slight, on an occasion so
truly accidental, renounce me for ever; and, with me, all hopes of that
reconciliation in the way her uncle had put it in, and she had acquiesced
with; and risque all consequences, fatal ones as they may too possibly
be.--By my soul, Captain Tomlinson, the dear creature must have hated me
all the time she was intending to honour me with her hand. And now she
must resolve to abandon me, as far as I know, with a preference in her
heart of the most odious of men--in favour of that Solmes, who, as you
tell me, accompanies her brother: and with what hopes, with what view,
accompanies him!--How can I bear to think of this?--
Cl. It is fit, Sir, that you should judge of my regard for you by your
own conscienceness of demerit. Yet you know, or you would not have dared
to behave to me as sometimes you did, that you had more of it than you
deserved.
She walked from us; and then returning, Captain Tomlinson, said she, I
will own to you, that I was not capable of resolving to give my hand, and
--nothing but my hand. Had I not given a flagrant proof of this to the
once most indulgent of parents? which has brought me into a distress,
which this man has heightened, when he ought, in gratitude and honour, to
have endeavoured to render it supportable. I had even a bias, Sir, in
his favour, I scruple not to own it. Long (much too long!) bore I with
his unaccountable ways, attributing his errors to unmeaning gaiety, and
to a want of knowing what true delicacy, and true generosity, required
from a heart susceptible of grateful impressions to one involved by his
means in unhappy circumstances.
It is now wickedness in him (a wickedness which discredits all his
professions) to say, that this last cruel and ungrateful insult was not
a premeditated one--But what need I say more of this insult, when it was
of such a nature, and that it has changed that bias in his favour, and
make me choose to forego all the inviting prospects he talks of, and to
run all hazards, to free myself from his power?
O my dearest creature! how happy for us both, had I been able to discover
that bias, as you condescend to call it, through such reserves as man
never encountered with!
He did discover it, Capt. Tomlinson. He brought me, more than once, to
own it; the more needlessly brought me to own it, as I dare say his own
vanity gave him no cause to doubt it; and as I had apparently no other
motive in not being forward to own it, than my too-justly-founded
apprehensions of his want of generosity. In a word, Captain Tomlinson,
(and now, that I am determined upon my measures, I the less scruple to
say,) I should have despised myself, had I found myself capable of
affectation or tyranny to the man I intended to marry. I have always
blamed the dearest friend I have in the world for a fault of this nature.
In a word--
Lovel. And had my angel really and indeed the favour for me she is
pleased to own?--Dearest creature, forgive me. Restore me to your good
opinion. Surely I have not sinned beyond forgiveness. You say that I
extorted from you the promise you made me. But I could not have presumed
to make that promise the condition of my obedience, had I not thought
there was room to expect forgiveness. Permit, I beseech you, the
prospects to take place, that were opening so agreeably before us. I
will go to town, and bring the license. All difficulties to the
obtaining of it are surmounted. Captain Tomlinson shall be witness to
the deeds. He will be present at the ceremony on the part of your uncle.
Indeed he gave me hope that your uncle himself--
Capt. I did, Mr. Lovelace: and I will tell you my grounds for the hope
I gave. I promised to my dear friend, (your uncle, Madam,) that he
should give out that he would take a turn with me to my little farm-house,
as I call it, near Northampton, for a week or so.--Poor gentleman!
he has of late been very little abroad!--Too visibly declining!--Change
of air, it might be given out, was good for him.--But I see, Madam, that
this is too tender a subject--
The dear creature wept. She knew how to apply as meant the Captain's
hint to the occasion of her uncle's declining state of health.
Capt. We might indeed, I told him, set out in that road, but turn short
to town in my chariot; and he might see the ceremony performed with his
own eyes, and be the desired father, as well as the beloved uncle.
She turned from us, and wiped her eyes.
Capt. And, really, there seem now to be but two objections to this, as
Mr. Harlowe discouraged not the proposal--The one, the unhappy
misunderstanding between you; which I would not by any means he should
know; since then he might be apt to give weight to Mr. James Harlowe's
unjust surmises.--The other, that it would necessarily occasion some
delay to the ceremony; which certainly may be performed in a day or two
--if--
And then he reverently bowed to my goddess.--Charming fellow!--But often
did I curse my stars, for making me so much obliged to his adroitness.
She was going to speak; but, not liking the turn of her countenance
(although, as I thought, its severity and indignation seemed a little
abated) I said, and had like to have blown myself up by it--one expedient
I have just thought of--
Cl. None of your expedients, Mr. Lovelace!--I abhor your expedients,
your inventions--I have had too many of them.
Lovel. See, Capt. Tomlinson!--See, Sir!--O how we expose ourselves to
you!--Little did you think, I dare say, that we have lived in such a
continued misunderstanding together!--But you will make the best of it
all. We may yet be happy. Oh! that I could have been assured that this
dear creature loved me with the hundredth part of the love I have for
her!--Our diffidences have been mutual. I presume to say that she has
too much punctilio: I am afraid that I have too little. Hence our
difficulties. But I have a heart, Captain Tomlinson, a heart, that bids
me hope for her love, because it is resolved to deserve it as much as man
can deserve it.
Capt. I am indeed surprised at what I have seen and heard. I defend
not Mr. Lovelace, Madam, in the offence he has given you--as a father of
daughters myself, I cannot defend him; though his fault seems to be
lighter than I had apprehended--but in my conscience, Madam, I think you
carry your resentment too high.
Cl. Too high, Sir!--Too high to the man that might have been happy if
he would! Too high to the man that has held my soul in suspense an
hundred times, since (by artifice and deceit) he obtained a power over
me!--Say, Lovelace, thyself say, art thou not the very Lovelace, who by
insulting me, hast wronged thine own hopes?--The wretch that appeared in
vile disguises, personating an old, lame creature, seeking for lodgings
for thy sick wife?--Telling the gentlewomen here stories all of thine own
invention; and asserting to them an husband's right over me, which thou
hast not!--And is it [turning to the Captain] to be expected, that I
should give credit to the protestations of such a man?
Lovel. Treat me, my dearest creature, as you please, I will bear it:
and yet your scorn and your violence have fixed daggers in my heart--But
was it possible, without those disguises, to come at your speech?--And
could I lose you, if study, if invention, would put it in my power to
arrest your anger, and give me hope to engage you to confirm to me the
promised pardon? The address I made to you before the women, as if the
marriage-ceremony had passed, was in consequence of what your uncle had
advised, and what you had acquiesced with; and the rather made, as your
brother, and Singleton, and Solmes, were resolved to find out whether
what was reported of your marriage were true or not, that they might take
their measures accordingly; and in hopes to prevent that mischief, which
I have been but too studious to prevent, since this tameness has but
invited insolence from your brother and his confederates.
Cl. O thou strange wretch, how thou talkest!--But, Captain Tomlinson,
give me leave to say, that, were I inclined to enter farther upon this
subject, I would appeal to Miss Rawlins's judgment (whom else have I to
appeal to?) She seems to be a person of prudence and honour; but not to
any man's judgment, whether I carry my resentment beyond fit bounds, when
I resolve--
Capt. Forgive, Madam, the interruption--but I think there can be no
reason for this. You ought, as you said, to be the sole judge of
indignities offered you. The gentlewomen here are strangers to you. You
will perhaps stay but a little while among them. If you lay the state of
your case before any of them, and your brother come to inquire of them,
your uncle's intended mediation will be discovered, and rendered abortive
--I shall appear in a light that I never appeared in, in my life--for these
women may not think themselves obliged to keep the secret.
Charming fellow!
Cl. O what difficulties has one fatal step involved me in--but there is
no necessity for such an appeal to any body. I am resolved on my
measures.
Capt. Absolutely resolved, Madam?
Cl. I am.
Capt. What shall I say to your uncle Harlowe, Madam?--Poor gentleman!
how will he be surprised!--You see, Mr. Lovelace--you see, Sir,--turning
to me with a flourishing hand--but you may thank yourself--and admirably
stalked he from us.
True, by my soul, thought I. I traversed the room, and bit my
unpersuasive lips, now upper, now under, for vexation.
He made a profound reverence to her--and went to the window, where lay
his hat and whip; and, taking them up, opened the door. Child, said he,
to some body he saw, pray order my servant to bring my horse to the
door--
Lovel. You won't go, Sir--I hope you won't!--I am the unhappiest man in
the world!--You won't go--yet, alas!--But you won't go, Sir!--there may
be yet hopes that Lady Betty may have some weight--
Capt. Dear Mr. Lovelace! and may not my worthy friend, and affectionate
uncle, hope for some influence upon his daughter-niece?--But I beg pardon
--a letter will always find me disposed to serve the lady, and that as
well for her sake as for the sake of my dear friend.
She had thrown herself into her chair: her eyes cast down: she was
motionless, as in a profound study.
The Captain bowed to her again: but met with no return to his bow. Mr.
Lovelace, said he, (with an air of equality and independence,) I am
your's.
Still the dear unaccountable sat as immovable as a statue; stirring
neither hand, foot, head, nor eye--I never before saw any one in so
profound a reverie in so waking a dream.
He passed by her to go out at the door she sat near, though the passage
by the other door was his direct way; and bowed again. She moved not.
I will not disturb the lady in her meditations, Sir.--Adieu, Mr. Lovelace
--no farther, I beseech you.
She started, sighing--Are you going, Sir?
Capt. I am, Madam. I could have been glad to do you service; but I see
it is not in my power.
She stood up, holding out one hand, with inimitable dignity and sweetness
--I am sorry you are going, Sir!--can't help it--I have no friend to
advise with--Mr. Lovelace has the art (or good fortune, perhaps I should
call it) to make himself many.--Well, Sir--if you will go, I can't help
it.
Capt. I will not go, Madam; his eyes twinkling. [Again seized with a
fit of humanity!] I will not go, if my longer stay can do you either
service or pleasure. What, Sir, [turning to me,] what, Mr. Lovelace, was
your expedient;--perhaps something may be offered, Madam--
She sighed, and was silent.
REVENGE, invoked I to myself, keep thy throne in my heart. If the
usurper LOVE once more drive thee from it, thou wilt never again regain
possession!
Lovel. What I had thought of, what I had intended to propose, [and I
sighed,] was this, that the dear creature, if she will not forgive me, as
she promised, will suspend the displeasure she has conceived against me,
till Lady Betty arrives.--That lady may be the mediatrix between us.
This dear creature may put herself into her protection, and accompany her
down to her seat in Oxfordshire. It is one of her Ladyship's purposes to
prevail on her supposed new niece to go down with her. It may pass to
every one but to Lady Betty, and to you, Captain Tomlinson, and to your
friend Mr. Harlowe (as he desires) that we have been some time married:
and her being with my relations will amount to a proof to James Harlowe
that we are; and our nuptials may be privately, and at this beloved
creature's pleasure, solemnized; and your report, Captain, authenticated.
Capt. Upon my honour, Madam, clapping his hand upon his breast, a
charming expedient!--This will answer every end.
She mused--she was greatly perplexed--at last, God direct me! said she: I
know not what to do--a young unfriended creature! Whom can I have to
advise with?--Let me retire, if I can retire.
She withdrew with slow and trembling feet, and went up to her chamber.
For Heaven's sake, said the penetrated varlet [his hands lifted up]; for
Heaven's sake, take compassion upon this admirable woman!--I cannot
proceed--she deserves all things--
Softly!--d--n the fellow!--the women are coming in.
He sobbed up his grief--turned about--hemm'd up a more manly accent--Wipe
thy cursed eyes--He did. The sunshine took place on one cheek, and
spread slowly to the other, and the fellow had his whole face again.
The women all three came in, led by that ever-curious Miss Rawlins. I
told them, that the lady was gone up to consider of every thing: that we
had hopes of her. And such a representation we made of all that had
passed, as brought either tacit or declared blame upon the fair perverse
for hardness of heart and over-delicacy.
The widow Bevis, in particular, put out one lip, tossed up her head,
wrinkled her forehead, and made such motions with her now lifted-up, now
cast-down eyes, as showed that she thought there was a great deal of
perverseness and affectation in the lady. Now-and-then she changed her
censuring looks to looks of pity of me--but (as she said) she loved not
to aggravate!--A poor business, God help's! shrugging up her shoulders,
to make such a rout about! And then her eyes laughed heartily--
Indulgence was a good thing! Love was a good thing!--but too much was
too much!
Miss Rawlins, however, declared, after she had called the widow Bevis,
with a prudish simper, a comical gentlewoman! that there must be
something in our story, which she could not fathom; and went from us into
a corner, and sat down, seemingly vexed that she could not.