I hope, thought I, that I may trust this solemn dog, instructed as he is.
She does not doubt him. I'll stay out no longer than to give her time to
spend her first fire.
I then passively withdrew with the women.--But with such a bow to my
goddess, that it won for me every heart but that I wanted most to win;
for the haughty maid bent not her knee in return.
The conversation between the Captain and the lady, when we were retired,
was to the following effect:--They both talked loud enough for me to hear
them--the lady from anger, the Captain with design; and thou mayest be
sure there was no listener but myself. What I was imperfect in was
supplied afterwards; for I had my vellum-leaved book to note all down.
If she had known this, perhaps she would have been more sparing of her
invectives--and but perhaps neither.
He told her that as her brother was absolutely resolved to see her; and
as he himself, in compliance with her uncle's expedient, had reported her
marriage; and as that report had reached the ears of Lord M., Lady Betty,
and the rest of my relations; and as he had been obliged, in consequence
of his first report, to vouch it; and as her brother might find out where
she was, and apply to the women here for a confirmation or refutation of
the marriage; he had thought himself obliged to countenance the report
before the women. That this had embarrassed him not a little, as he
would not for the world that she should have cause to think him capable
of prevarication, contrivance, or double dealing; and that this made him
desirous of a private conversation with her.
It was true, she said, she had given her consent to such an expedient,
believing it was her uncle's; and little thinking that it would lead to
so many errors. Yet she might have known that one error is frequently
the parent of many. Mr. Lovelace had made her sensible of the truth of
that observation, on more occasions than one; and it was an observation
that he, the Captain, had made, in one of the letters that was shown her
yesterday.*
* See Letter XXIV.
He hoped that she had no mistrust of him: that she had no doubt of his
honour. If, Madam, you suspect me--if you think me capable--what a man!
the Lord be merciful to me!--What a man must you think me!
I hope, Sir, there cannot be a man in the world who could deserve to be
suspected in such a case as this. I do not suspect you. If it were
possible there could be one such a man, I am sure, Captain Tomlinson, a
father of children, a man in years, of sense and experience, cannot be
that man.
He told me, that just then, he thought he felt a sudden flash from her
eye, an eye-beam as he called it, dart through his shivering reins; and
he could not help trembling.
The dog's conscience, Jack!--Nothing else!--I have felt half a dozen such
flashes, such eye-beams, in as many different conversations with this
soul-piercing beauty.
Her uncle, she must own, was not accustomed to think of such expedients;
but she had reconciled this to herself, as the case was unhappily
uncommon; and by the regard he had for her honour.
This set the puppy's heart at ease, and gave him more courage.
She asked him if he thought Lady Betty and Miss Montague intended her a
visit?
He had no doubt but they did.
And does he imagine, said she, that I could be brought to countenance to
them the report you have given out?
[I had hoped to bring her to this, Jack, or she had seen their letters.
But I had told the Captain that I believed I must give up this
expectation.]
No.--He believed that I had not such a thought. He was pretty sure, that
I intended, when I saw them, to tell them, (as in confidence,) the naked
truth.
He then told her that her uncle had already made some steps towards a
general reconciliation. The moment, Madam, that he knows you are really
married, he will enter into confidence with your father upon it; having
actually expressed to your mother his desire to be reconciled to you.
And what, Sir, said my mother? What said my dear mother?
With great emotion she asked this question; holding out her sweet face,
as the Captain described her, with the most earnest attention, as if she
would shorten the way which his words were to have to her heart.
Your mother, Madam, burst into tears upon it: and your uncle was so
penetrated by her tenderness, that he could not proceed with the subject.
But he intends to enter upon it with her in form, as soon as he hears
that the ceremony is over.
By the tone of her voice she wept. The dear creature, thought I, begins
to relent!--And I grudged the dog his eloquence. I could hardly bear the
thought that any man breathing should have the power which I had lost, of
persuading this high-souled woman, though in my own favour. And wouldest
thou think it? this reflection gave me more uneasiness at the moment than
I felt from her reproaches, violent as they were; or than I had pleasure
in her supposed relenting: for there is beauty in every thing she says
and does!--Beauty in her passion!--Beauty in her tears!--Had the Captain
been a young fellow, and of rank and fortune, his throat would have been
in danger; and I should have thought very hardly of her.
O Captain Tomlinson, said she, you know not what I have suffered by this
man's strange ways! He had, as I was not ashamed to tell him yesterday,
a plain path before him. He at first betrayed me into his power--but
when I was in it--There she stopt.--Then resuming--O Sir, you know not
what a strange man he has been!--An unpolite, a rough-manner'd man! In
disgrace of his birth, and education, and knowledge, an unpolite man!--
And so acting, as if his worldly and personal advantages set him above
those graces which distinguish a gentleman.
The first woman that ever said, or that ever thought so of me, that's my
comfort, thought I!--But this, (spoken of to her uncle's friend, behind
my back,) helps to heap up thy already-too-full measure, dearest!--It is
down in my vellum-book.
Cl. When I look back on his whole behaviour to a poor young creature,
(for I am but a very young creature,) I cannot acquit him either of great
folly or of deep design. And, last Wednesday--There she stopt; and I
suppose turned away her face.
I wonder she was not ashamed to hint at what she thought so shameful; and
that to a man, and alone with him.
Capt. Far be it from me, Madam, to offer to enter too closely into so
tender a subject. Mr. Lovelace owns, that you have reason to be
displeased with him. But he so solemnly clears himself of premeditated
offence--
Cl. He cannot clear himself, Captain Tomlinson. The people of the
house must be very vile, as well as he. I am convinced that there was a
wicked confederacy--but no more upon such a subject.
Capt. Only one word more, Madam.--He tells me, that you promised to
pardon him. He tells me--
He knew, interrupted she, that he deserved not pardon, or he had not
extorted the promise from me. Nor had I given it to him, but to shield
myself from the vilest outrage--
Capt. I could wish, Madam, inexcusable as his behaviour has been, since
he has something to plead in the reliance he made upon your promise,
that, for the sake of appearances to the world, and to avoid the
mischiefs that may follow if you absolutely break with him, you could
prevail upon your naturally-generous mind to lay an obligation upon him
by your forgiveness.
She was silent.
Capt. Your father and mother, Madam, deplore a daughter lost to them,
whom your generosity to Mr. Lovelace may restore: do not put it to the
possible chance, that they may have cause to deplore a double loss; the
losing of a son, as well as a daughter, who, by his own violence, which
you may perhaps prevent, may be for ever lost to them, and to the whole
family.
She paused--she wept--she owned that she felt the force of this argument.