Therefore it is that I call you the vilest of men. [Was this pardonable,
Jack!]--You and I know the truth, the whole truth.--I want not to clear
up my reputation with these gentlewomen:--that is already lost with every
one I had most reason to value: but let me have this new specimen of what
you are capable of--say, wretch, (say, Lovelace, if thou hadst rather,)
art thou really and truly my wedded husband?--Say; answer without
hesitation.
She trembled with impatient indignation; but had a wildness in her
manner, which I took some advantage of, in order to parry this cursed
thrust. And a cursed thrust it was; since, had I positively averred it,
she would never have believed any thing I said: and had I owned that I
was not married, I had destroyed my own plot, as well with the women as
with her; and could have no pretence for pursuing her, or hindering her
from going wheresoever she pleased. Not that I was ashamed to aver it,
had it been consistent with policy. I would not have thee think me such
a milk-sop neither.
Lovel. My dearest love, how wildly you talk! What would you have me
answer? It is necessary that I should answer? May I not re-appeal this
to your own breast, as well as to Captain Tomlinson's treaty and letter?
You know yourself how matters stand between us.--And Captain Tomlinson--
Cl. O wretch! Is this an answer to my question? Say, are we married,
or are we not?
Lovel. What makes a marriage, we all know. If it be the union of two
hearts, [there was a turn, Jack!] to my utmost grief, I must say that we
are not; since now I see you hate me. If it be the completion of
marriage, to my confusion and regret, I must own we are not. But, my
dear, will you be pleased to consider what answer half a dozen people
whence you came, could give to your question? And do not now, in the
disorder of your mind, and the height of passion, bring into question
before these gentlewomen a point you have acknowledged before those who
know us better.
I would have whispered her about the treaty with her uncle, and about the
contents of the Captain's letter; but, retreating, and with a rejecting
hand, Keep thy distance, man, cried the dear insolent--to thine own heart
I appeal, since thou evadest me thus pitifully!--I own no marriage with
thee!--Bear witness, Ladies, I do not. And cease to torment me, cease to
follow me.--Surely, surely, faulty as I have been, I have not deserved to
be thus persecuted!--I resume, therefore, my former language: you have no
right to pursue me: you know you have not: begone then, and leave me to
make the best of my hard lot. O my dear, cruel father! said she, in a
violent fit of grief [falling upon her knees, and clasping her uplifted
hands together] thy heavy curse is completed upon thy devoted daughter!
I am punished, dreadfully punished, by the very wretch in whom I had
placed my wicked confidence!
By my soul, Belford, the little witch with her words, but more by her
manner, moved me! Wonder not then that her action, her grief, her tears,
set the women into the like compassionate manifestations.
Had I not a cursed task of it?
The two women withdrew to the further end of the room, and whispered, a
strange case! There is no phrensy here--I just heard said.
The charming creature threw her handkerchief over her head and neck,
continuing kneeling, her back towards me, and her face hid upon a chair,
and repeatedly sobbed with grief and passion.