Still louder I raised my voice.--She was overborne.--Sweet soul! It
would be hard, thought I, [and yet I was very angry with her,] if such a
spirit as thine cannot be brought to yield to such a one as mine!
I lowered my voice on her silence. All gentle, all intreative, my
accent. My head bowed--one hand held out--the other on my honest heart.
--For heaven's sake, my dearest creature, resolve to see Captain
Tomlinson with temper. He would have come along with me, but I was
willing to try to soften your mind first on this fatal misapprehension,
and this for the same of your own wishes. For what is it otherwise to
me, whether your friends are, or are not, reconciled to us?--Do I want
any favour from them?--For your own mind's sake, therefore, frustrate not
Captain Tomlinson's negociation. That worthy gentleman will be here in
the afternoon; Lady Betty will be in town, with my cousin Montague, in a
day or two.--They will be your visiters. I beseech you do not carry this
misunderstanding so far, as that Lord M. and Lady Betty, and Lady Sarah,
may know it. [How considerable this made me look to the women!] Lady
Betty will not let you rest till you consent to accompany her to her own
seat--and to that lady may you safely intrust your cause.
Again, upon my pausing a moment, she was going to break out. I liked not
the turn of her countenance, nor the tone of her voice--'And thinkest
thou, base wretch,' were the words she did utter: I again raised my
voice, and drowned her's.--Base wretch, Madam?--You know that I have not
deserved the violent names you have called me. Words so opprobrious from
a mind so gentle!--But this treatment is from you, Madam?--From you, whom
I love more than my own soul!--By that soul, I swear that I do.--[The
women looked upon each other--they seemed pleased with my ardour.--Women,
whether wives, maids, or widows, love ardours: even Miss Howe, thou
knowest, speaks up for ardours,*]--Nevertheless, I must say, that you
have carried matters too far for the occasion. I see you hate me--
* See Vol. IV. Letters XXIX. and XXXIV.
She was just going to speak--If we are to separate for ever, in a strong
and solemn voice, proceeded I, this island shall not long be troubled
with me. Mean time, only be pleased to give these letters a perusal, and
consider what is to be said to your uncle's friend, and what he is to say
to your uncle.--Any thing will I come into, (renounce me, if you will,)
that shall make for your peace, and for the reconciliation your heart was
so lately set upon. But I humbly conceive, that it is necessary that you
should come into better temper with me, were it but to give a favourable
appearance to what has passed, and weight to any future application to
your friends, in whatever way you shall think proper to make it.
I then put the letters into her lap, and retired into the next apartment
with a low bow, and a very solemn air.
I was soon followed by the two women. Mrs. Moore withdrew to give the
fair perverse time to read them: Miss Rawlins for the same reason, and
because she was sent for home.
The widow besought her speedy return. I joined in the same request; and
she was ready enough to promise to oblige us.
I excused myself to Mrs. Moore for the disguise I had appeared in at
first, and for the story I had invented. I told her that I held myself
obliged to satisfy her for the whole floor we were upon; and for an upper
room for my servant, and that for a month certain.
She made many scruples, and begged she might not be urged, on this head,
till she had consulted Miss Rawlins.
I consented; but told her, that she had taken my earnest, and I hoped
there was no room for dispute.
Just then Miss Rawlins returned, with an air of eager curiosity; and
having been told what had passed between Mrs. Moore and me, she gave
herself airs of office immediately: which I humoured, plainly perceiving
that if I had her with me I had the other.
She wished, if there were time for it, and if it were not quite
impertinent in her to desire it, that I would give Mrs. Moore and her a
brief history of an affair, which, as she said, bore the face of novelty,
mystery, and surprise. For sometimes it looked to her as if we were
married; at other times that point appeared doubtful; and yet the lady
did not absolutely deny it, but, upon the whole, thought herself highly
injured.
I said that our's was a very particular case.--That, were I to acquaint
them with it, some part of it would hardly appear credible. But,
however, as they seemed hardly to be persons of discretion, I would give
them a brief account of the whole; and this in so plain and sincere a
manner, that it should clear up, to their satisfaction, every thing that
had passed, or might hereafter pass between us.
They sat down by me and threw every feature of their faces into
attention. I was resolved to go as near the truth as possible, lest any
thing should drop from my spouse to impeach my veracity; and yet keep in
view what passed at the Flask.
It is necessary, although thou knowest my whole story, and a good deal of
my views, that thou shouldst be apprized of the substance of what I told
them.
'I gave them, in as concise a manner as I was able, this history of our
families, fortunes, alliances, antipathies, her brother's and mine
particularly. I averred the truth of our private marriage.' The
Captain's letter, which I will enclose, will give thee my reasons for
that. And, besides, the women might have proposed a parson to me by way
of compromise. 'I told them the condition my spouse had made me swear
to; and to which she held me, in order, I said, to induce me the sooner
to be reconciled to her relations.
'I owned, that this restraint made me sometimes ready to fly out.' And
Mrs. Moore was so good as to declare, that she did not much wonder at it.
Thou art a very good sort of woman, Mrs. Moore, thought I.
As Miss Howe has actually detected our mother, and might possibly find
some way still to acquaint her friend with her discoveries, I thought it
proper to prepossess them in favour of Mrs. Sinclair and her two nieces.
I said, 'they were gentlewomen born; that they had not bad hearts; that
indeed my spouse did not love them; they having once taken the liberty to
blame her for her over-niceness with regard to me. People, I said, even
good people, who knew themselves to be guilty of a fault they had no
inclination to mend, were too often least patient when told of it; as
they could less bear than others to be thought indifferently of.'
Too often the case, they owned.
'Mrs. Sinclair's house was a very handsome house, and fit to receive the
first quality, [true enough, Jack!] Mrs. Sinclair was a woman very easy
in her circumstances:--A widow gentlewoman, as you, Mrs. Moore, are.--
Lets lodgings, as you, Mrs. Moore, do.--Once had better prospects as you,
Mrs. Moore, may have had: the relict of Colonel Sinclair;--you, Mrs.
Moore, might know Colonel Sinclair--he had lodgings at Hampstead.'
She had heard of the name.
'Oh! he was related to the best families in Scotland!--And his widow is
not to be reflected upon because she lets lodgings you know, Mrs. Moore--
you know, Miss Rawlins.'
Very true, and very true.--And they must needs say, it did not look quite
so pretty, in such a lady as my spouse, to be so censorious.
A foundation here, thought I, to procure these women's help to get back
the fugitive, or their connivance, at least, at my doing so; as well as
for anticipating any future information from Miss Howe.
I gave them a character of that virago; and intimated, 'that for a head
to contrive mischief, and a heart to execute it, she had hardly her equal
in her sex.'
To this Miss Howe it was, Mrs. Moore said, she supposed, that my spouse
was so desirous to dispatch a man and horse, by day-dawn, with a letter
she wrote before she went to bed last night, proposing to stay no longer
than till she had received an answer to it.
The very same, said I; I knew she would have immediate recourse to her.
I should have been but too happy, could I have prevented such a letter
from passing, or so to have it managed, as to have it given into Mrs.
Howe's hands, instead of her daughter's. Women who had lived some time
in the world knew better, than to encourage such skittish pranks in young
wives.
Let me just stop to tell thee, while it is in my head, that I have since
given Will. his cue to find out where the man lives who is gone with the
fair fugitive's letter; and, if possible, to see him on his return,
before he sees her.
I told the women, 'I despaired that it would ever be better with us while
Miss Howe had so strange an ascendancy over my spouse, and remained
herself unmarried. And until the reconciliation with her friends could
be effected; or a still happier event--as I should think it, who am the
last male of my family; and which my foolish vow, and her rigour, had
hitherto'--
Here I stopt, and looked modest, turning my diamond ring round my finger;
while goody Moore looked mighty significant, calling it a very particular
case; and the maiden fanned away, and primm'd, and purs'd, to show that
what I had said needed no farther explanantion.
'I told them the occasion of our present difference. I avowed the
reality of the fire; but owned, that I would have made no scruple of
breaking the unnatural oath she had bound me in, (having a husband's
right on my side,) when she was so accidentally frighted into my arms;
and I blamed myself excessively, that I did not; since she thought fit to
carry her resentment so high, and had the injustice to suppose the fire
to be a contrivance of mine.'
Nay, for that matter, Mrs. Moore said, as we were married, and madam was
so odd--every gentleman would not--and stopt there Mrs. Moore.
'To suppose I should have recourse to such a poor contrivance, said I,
when I saw the dear creature every hour.'--Was not this a bold put, Jack?
A most extraordinary case, truly, cried the maiden; fanning, yet coming
in with her Well-but's!--and her sifting Pray, Sir's!--and her
restraining Enough, Sir's.--flying from the question to the question--her
seat now-and-then uneasy, for fear my want of delicacy should hurt her
abundant modesty; and yet it was difficult to satisfy her super-abundant
curiosity.
'My beloved's jealousy, [and jealousy of itself, to female minds,
accounts for a thousand unaccountablenesses,] and the imputation of her
half-phrensy, brought upon her by her father's wicked curse, and by the
previous persecutions she had undergone from all her family, were what I
dwelt upon, in order to provide against what might happen.'
In short, 'I owned against myself most of the offences which I did not
doubt but she would charge me with in their hearing; and as every cause
has a black and white side, I gave the worst parts of our story the
gentlest turn. And when I had done, acquainted them with some of the
contents of that letter of Captain Tomlinson which I left with the lady.
I concluded with James Harlowe, and of Captain Singleton, or of any
sailor-looking men.'
This thou wilt see, from the letter itself, was necessary to be done.
Here, therefore, thou mayest read it. And a charming letter to my
purpose wilt thou find it to be, if thou givest the least attention to
its contents.
TO ROBERT LOVELACE, ESQ.
WEDN. JUNE 7.