You do, Madam--and never did man of my figure and consideration, [I
thought it was proper to throw that in] meet with such treatment--
She lifted up her hands: indignation kept her silent.
But all is of a piece with the charge you bring against me of despoiling
you of all succour and help, of making you poor and low, and with other
unprecedented language. I will only say, before these two gentlewomen,
that since it must be so, and since your former esteem for me is turned
into so riveted an aversion, I will soon, very soon, make you entirely
easy. I will be gone:--I will leave you to your own fate, as you call
it; and may that be happy!--Only, that I may not appear to be a spoiler,
a robber indeed, let me know whither I shall send your apparel, and every
thing that belongs to you, and I will send it.
Send it to this place; and assure me, that you will never molest me more;
never more come near me; and that is all I ask of you.
I will do so, Madam, said I, with a dejected air. But did I ever think I
should be so indifferent to you?--However, you must permit me to insist
on your reading this letter; and on your seeing Captain Tomlinson, and
hearing what he has to say from your uncle. He will be here by-and-by.
Don't trifle with me, said she in an imperious tone--do as you offer. I
will not receive any letter from your hands. If I see Captain Tomlinson,
it shall be on his own account, not on your's. You tell me you will send
me my apparel--if you would have me believe any thing you say, let this
be the test of your sincerity.--Leave me now, and send my things.
The women started.--They did nothing but stare; and appeared to be more
and more at a loss what to make of the matter between us.
I pretended to be going from her in a pet; but, when I had got to the
door, I turned back; and, as if I had recollected myself--One word more,
my dearest creature!--Charming, even in your anger!--O my fond soul! said
I, turning half round, and pulling out my handkerchief.--
I believe, Jack, my eyes did glisten a little. I have no doubt but they
did. The women pitied me--honest souls! They showed they had each of
them a handkerchief as well as I. So, has thou not observed (to give a
familiar illustration,) every man in a company of a dozen, or more,
obligingly pull out his watch, when some one has asked what's o'clock?--
As each man of a like number, if one talks of his beard, will fall to
stroking his chin with his four fingers and thumb.
One word only, Madam, repeated I, (as soon as my voice had recovered its
tone,) I have represented to Captain Tomlinson in the most favourable
light the cause of our present misunderstanding. You know what your
uncle insists upon, and with which you have acquiesced.--The letter in my
hand, [and again I offered it to her,] will acquaint you with what you
have to apprehend from your brother's active malice.
She was going to speak in a high accent, putting the letter from her,
with an open palm--Nay, hear me out, Madam--The Captain, you know, has
reported our marriage to two different persons. It is come to your
brother's ears. My own relations have also heard of it.--Letters were
brought me from town this morning, from Lady Betty Lawrance, and Miss
Montague. Here they are. [I pulled them out of my pocket, and offered
them to her, with that of the Captain; but she held back her still open
palm, that she might not receive them.] Reflect, Madam, I beseech you,
reflect upon the fatal consequences with which this, your high
resentment, may be attended.
Ever since I knew you, said she, I have been in a wilderness of doubt
and error. I bless God that I am out of your hands. I will transact for
myself what relates to myself. I dismiss all your solicitude for me.--
Am I not my own mistress?--Have you any title?--
The women stared--[the devil stare ye, thought I!--Can ye do nothing but
stare?]--It was high time to stop her here.
I raised my voice to drown her's.--You used, my dearest creature, to have
a tender and apprehensive heart.--You never had so much reason for such a
one as now.
Let me judge for myself, upon what I shall see, not upon what I shall
hear.--Do you think I shall ever?--
I dreaded her going on--I must be heard, Madam, (raising my voice still
higher,)--you must let me read one paragraph or two out of this letter to
you, if you will not read it yourself--
Begone from me, Man!--Begone from me with thy letters! What pretence
hast thou for tormenting me thus? What right?--What title?--
Dearest creature! what questions you ask!--Questions that you can as well
answer yourself--