GRANDMA. Pauline, have the new Professors come yet? I have hired two new
Professors. A Professor of Husbandology, and a Professor of Rudiments.
They are very highly recommended.
PAULINE. Beg pardon mam, but what's Husbandology?
GRANDMA. Husbandology is the Science of the Proper Treatment of
Husbands.
PAULINE. And I know what Rudiments is. It's scrubbin'. No, mam, nothin'
like them has come yet. "All alone. All alone--" (_sings_) (_exit_
PAULINE)
GRANDMA, (knits) Dear me! Dear me! I thought when I started this Academy
the girls would flock to it most eagerly. When I was a young girl my
mother would have been glad to have an academy like this for me to
attend. I don't know what the world is coming to. Suffragists and
Suffragettes, and Suffrage--this and Suffrage--that! If this academy
wasn't sustained by the Anti-suffrage League it would have to close
its doors. (_sees a book on table, takes it in hand_) "Woman and Her
Rights." (_with disgust_) Augh! Who brought that here? (_throws it
on floor_) I declare, I believe this is the last stronghold of the
old-fashioned home-loving woman. I teach the girls to be good wives,
(_door bell rings_) (_enter_ PAULINE)
PAULINE, (_curtseys_) If you please, mam, there's a female at the door
says she is the new Professor of Husbandology. It's Susan Jane Jones,
mam.
GRANDMA. Show her in, Pauline.
PAULINE. Yes'm.
GRANDMA. Don't forget your curtsey, Pauline.