_Lady Bountiful_ (_to old Parishioner_). “I hope you like our New
Clergyman’s Sermons, Mrs. Brown?”
_Mrs. Brown_: “Oh yes, my Lady, he do Preach quite beautiful; but then,
you see, he don’t Practise. So when my poor old Man be troubled with the
Rheumatics, I have to send for the Doctor in the Village, and it do come
so very expensive!”]
[Illustration: “PLEASE TO REMEMBER THE WAITER.”
“All right, Sir! My fault!”]
[Illustration: FOGGY WEATHER.
“Has Mr. Smith been here?” “Yes; he was here about an hour ago.” “Was I
with him?”]
[Illustration: “Penny ’Addick.” “Finen?” “No; thick ’un!”]
[Illustration: A NEGLECTED INDUSTRY.
“’Ow are yer gettin’ on, Bill?”
“Ain’t gettin’ on at all. I’m beginnin’ to think as the Publick doesn’t
know what they wants!”]
[Illustration: BLASÉ
_Kitty_ (_reading a fairy tale_). “‘Once upon a time there was a
frog----’”
_Mabel_ (_interrupting_). “I bet it’s a Princess! Go on!”]
[Illustration: CRUEL!
_Lucullus Brown_ (_on hospitable purpose intent_). “Are you Dining
anywhere to-morrow night?”
_Jones_ (_not liking to absolutely “give himself away”_). “Let me
see”--(_considers_)--“No; I’m not Dining anywhere to-morrow.”
_Lucullus Brown_ (_seeing through the artifice_). “Um! Poor chap! How
Hungry you will be!”
[“_Exeunt,--severally_.”]]
[Illustration: “THE COW WAS THE STAMP TO IMPRESS SUPERIOR BUTTER.”
“’Arf a pound er Margarine, please; an’ Mother says will yer put the Cow
on it cos she’s got Company!”]
[Illustration: Q. E. D.
“Wha’s up wi’ Sal?” “Ain’t yer ’erd? She’s Married agin!”]
[Illustration: OF VITAL IMPORTANCE.
“Hi, Billie! _’Ere’s_ Cheap Gloves!”]
[Illustration: AN IMPORTANT ’JUNCTION.
“You mind your Fader gets my Boots reddy by Four o’clock, ’cos I’m
goin’ to a Party!”]
[Illustration: AN INFORMAL INTRODUCTION.
’_Arry_ (_shouting across the street to his “Pal”_) “Hi! Bill! This is
’er!”]
[Illustration: POLITICS AND GALLANTRY.
_First ’Arry_: “Hay, wot’s this ’ere Rosebery a torkin’ abaat? Bless’d
if he ain’t a goin’ to do awy with the Lords!”
_Second ’Arry_: (_more of a Don Juan than a Politician_). “Do awy with
the ’ole bloomin’ lot o’ Lords, if he likes, as long as he don’t do awy
with the Lidies!”]
[Illustration: THE PLUNGER.
_First Boy_ _(much interested in the game of Buttons_). “’As ’e lost?”
_Second Ditto_. “Yes; ’e lost all them Buttons what ’e won off Tommy
Crowther yesterday, an’ then ’e cut all the Buttons off ’is Clothes, and
’e’s lost them too!”]
[Illustration: _Superior ’Arry_. “Cabbie! To the--aw--the Prince of
Wales’s.”
_Cabbie_-“Marlbro’ ’Ouse, my Lord?”]
[Illustration: THE GENIAL SEASON.
_Hungry-looking Acquaintance_ (_with eye to invitation_). “So glad to
see you enjoying yourself!”
_Fat Chap_ (_evidently doing well_). “Wrong again, old Man. I’m enjoying
my Dinner!”]
[Illustration: “Look what I’ve bought you for a Christmas Box!”]
[Illustration: PAST AND PRESENT.
_Serious and much-Married Man_. “My dear Friend, I _was_ astonished to
hear of _your_ dining at Madame Troisétoiles!--a ‘Woman with a Past’ you
know!”
_The Friend_ (_Bachelor “unattached”_). “Well, you see, old Man, she’s
got a first-rate _Chef_, so it isn’t her ‘Past’ but her ‘Re-past’ that I
care about.”]
[Illustration: Editor of Libellous Rag (who has just received a terrific
but well-deserved kick). “Dud you man thot?”
_Colonel McMurder_. “Yis, oi _dud_, you thunderin’ villain!”
_Editor_. “Oh, very well, thot’s all _roight_. Oi t’ought it moight av
been wan o’ thim prac-ta-cle jokes”!]
[Illustration: “Hi, Billy! are yer Movin’?”]
[Illustration: SO LIKELY!