Treasure of a Nation will supply your Extravagance? The Value I have
for you on Account of your Father, who was my good Friend, has made
me tire all my Acquaintance, by borrowing of them to furnish your
Pockets: However, I'll try, if I cannot borrow One Thousand more for
you, tho' I wish your Estate will bear it, and that I don't out of
my Love to you, rashly bring myself into Trouble. You know I am
engaged for all; and if the Mortgage you have given should not be
valid, I am an undone Man. I can't, I protest, raise this Money
under Fifteen _per Cent_, and it's cheap, very cheap, considering
how scarce a Commodity it is grown. It's a Pity so generous a young
Gentleman should be straiten'd. I don't question a Pair of Gloves
for the Trouble I have. I know you too well to insist on't: I am old
and crazy, Coach-hire is very dear, I can't walk, God help me, and
my Circumstances won't afford a Coach. A Couple of Guineas is a
Trifle with you: I'll get you the Thousand Pound, if I can, at
Fifteen _per Cent._ but if my Friend should insist on Twenty (for
Money is very hard to be got with the best Security) must I refuse
it? Yes; I can't suffer you to pay such an exorbitant Premium; it is
too much, too much in Conscience; I can't advise you to it."
The young Gentleman answer'd, he was sensible of his Friendship, and
left all to him.
"Well, well, _said the Miser_, come again two Hours hence, I'll see
what's to be done."
He went away, t'other barr'd the Door after him, and falls to rummaging
his Bags, and telling out the Sum to be lent to the young Gentleman:
When, on a sudden, his Doors flew open, and a Couple of Rogues bound him
in his Bed, and went off laden with Baggs. Soon after, a meagre Servant
comes in, and unbinds him; he tears his Hair, raves, stamps, and has all
the Gestures of a Madman; he sends the Servant out, takes a Halter,
throws it over a Beam, and going to hang himself, vanishes.
Soon after, he appeared again with Officers, who hurry the young
Gentleman to Goal. He follows him, gets his Estate made over to him, and
then sets his Prisoner at Liberty: The Scene of the Goal vanishes, and
he's in a noble Mansion-Seat with the young Gentleman in Rags, who gives
him Possession, and receives a Trifle from him for that Consideration.
He turns away all the Servants, and in a Palace he is alone roasting an
Egg over a Handful of Fire for his Dinner. His Son comes in, as he is by
himself, goes to murder him, and he vanishes again. He returns to our
Sight, digging in his Garden, and hiding Money, for Soldiers appear in
the neighbouring Village: He has scarce buried it, when they rifle his
House; this makes us lose him again for a little Space. His Coachman
comes to him, tells him his Son is kill'd; he answers,
"No matter, he was a great Expence, I shall save at least Forty
Pounds a Year by his Death, it's a good Legacy, _Tom_."
He tells him a Lord offer'd him Five Hundred Pounds to carry off his
young Lady, but that he refused it, and thought himself obliged to
acquaint him with his Lordship's Design.
"You are a Fool, _replies the old Man_; take the Money, I'll consent,
we'll snack it--Quit of another. My Lord shan't have a Groat with
her. What a Charge are Children! This Lord is the best Friend I have,
to take her off my Hands. To be sure bring the Money, carry her to
my Lord, and bring the Money; go take Time by the Fore-lock, he may
recant, then so much Money's lost. Go, run to my Lord, tell him
you'll do it."
Here he thrust the Fellow out, and appear'd with a smiling Countenance.
A Man comes in, and tells him the Exchequer is shut up, Stocks are
fallen, a War declar'd, and a new Tax laid on Land; he beats his Breast,
groans aloud, and vanishes.
"By this Wretch, _said Abrahijo_, you see the Care and Anxiety wait
on the Miserable. The Love of Gold in him has extinguish'd Nature;
nay, it predominates over Self-love; for he hastens his End, by not
allowing his Body either Rest, or sufficient Nourishment, only that
he may encrease the Number of his Coffers."
Another Shade appear'd with a great Crowd of People, huzzaing, a
_Venditor_, a _Venditor_; he goes before them, steps into every Shop,
enquires after the Health of each Family, kisses the Wives, and out of
his thrusts Gold into their Mouths. Here he bows to a Tinker, there
embraces a Cobler, shakes a Scavinger by the Hand, stands bare-headed,
and compliments an Ale-Wife, invites a Score of Shoemakers, Taylors,
Pedlars, Weavers, and Hostlers, to do him the Honour of their Company
to Dinner.
The Scene changes; he's at Court, the Ministers repay him his servile
Cringes by theirs; one comes up to him, and says, he hopes, when the
Bill comes into the House, he will favour him with his Vote for its
passing: He answers, he shall discharge the Trust reposed in him, like a
Man of Honour, in forwarding what is for the Good of his Country, and
opposing the contrary, tho' the Consequence were his own Ruin: That he
begg'd his Lordship's Pardon, if he dissented from him in Opinion, and
did not think what he required warrantable in a Man of Honour.
"You are not well inform'd, _replied the Nobleman_, but we'll talk of
that another Day, when I hope I shall convince you, that you did not
well understand me; my present Business is to wish you Joy,
_Courvite_'s Regiment is vacant, and tho' you have never serv'd,
your personal Bravery and good Conduct in the Senate have spoke so
much in your behalf, that you will to morrow have the Commission
sent you."
"My Lord, _replied the Patriot_, this is an unexpected favour, and I
am satisfied I owe it to your Lordship's Goodness. I hope an
Opportunity to speak my Gratitude, will present it self; in the mean
while count upon me, in whatever I can serve your Interest."
At these Words, with a visible Joy in his Looks, he vanish'd.
Three dirty Mechanicks appeared in a Shoemaker's Shop, who was a
Dreamer. He was declaiming to his Companions over a Pot of Beer, after
the following Manner.
"Look ye, Neighbours, there's an old Proverb says, _It is not the
Hood which makes the Monk_; the being born a Gentleman does not make
a Man of Sense; and the being bred a Tradesman, does not deprive us
of it; for how many great Men have leap'd from the Shop-board,
sprung up from the Stall, and have, by patching and heel-piecing
Religion and the State, made their Names famous to After-Ages? I can
name many, but I shall mention only _John_ of _Leyden_. Now, I see
no Reason, why Meanness of Birth should be an Obstacle to Merit, and
I am resolved, as I find a great many Things which ought to be
redress'd both in Church and State, if you my Friends will stand by
me, to aim at the setting both upright: For you must own, they are
basely trod awry. Trade is dead, Money is scarce, the Parsons are
proud, rich and lazy; War is necessary for the Circulation of Money;
and an honest Man may starve in these Times of Peace and Beggary.
"There are a great many Mysteries in Religion, which, as we don't
know what to make of them, are altogether unnecessary, and ought to
be laid aside, as well as a great many Ceremonies, which ought to be
lopp'd off for being chargeable."
The rest gave their assenting Nod, and seem'd to wonder at, and applaud
his Eloquency. In a Moment, I saw him preaching to a Mobb against the
Luxury of the Age, and telling them it shew'd a Meanness of Spirit to
want Necessaries, while the Gentry, by force of long Usurpations on
their Rights, rioted in all manner of Excess. That Providence brought
none into the World that he might starve; but that all on Earth had a
Right to what was necessary to their Support, which they ought to sieze,
since the Rich refus'd to share with them. From a Preacher I saw him a
Captain of a Rabble, plundering the Houses of the Nobility, was terrible
to all; and tho' he declared for levelling, would be serv'd with the
Pomp and Delicacy of a Prince; marries his Daughters to Lords, hoards
an immense Treasure, and wakes from his golden Dream.
Another Shade I saw suborning Witnesses, giving them Instructions what
to swear, packing Juries, banishing, hanging and beheading all his
Enemies, sending immense Sums to foreign Courts, to support his Power at
Home, bribing Senates, and carrying all before him without Controul,
when he vanish'd. My _English_ Friend told me, that Soul belong'd to the
Body of a Money-Scrivener, who almost crack'd his Brain with Politicks,
and thought of nothing less than being a prime Minister. I knew him
while I was in the World; his whole Discourse always ran on Liberty,
Trade, Free Elections, _&c._ and constantly inveigh'd against all
corrupt and self-interested Practices. I saw Persons descended from the
ancient Nobility fawning on Valets who were arrived to great Preferment
for Pimping; I beheld others contriving Schemes, to bring their Wives
and Daughters into the Company of Persons in Power, and aiming to
gain Preferment for themselves, at the Expence of the Vertue of their
Families; nor was there a Vice, a Folly or a Baseness, practised in this
World below, tho' ever so secret, which I did not see there represented,
the Particulars of which being too long for this Place, I must beg Leave
to refer them to the Second Volume of my Voyages.
In the mean time I was allow'd a Week to satisfy my Curiosity, and make
my Observations on all the strange things which were there to be seen,
which I may justly reckon the most agreeable Part of my whole Life; and
also a further Time to refresh my self: Which being done, we prepared
for our Journey, being provided with all things necessary for that
Purpose.
As I found in my self that longing Desire (which is natural to all Men,
who have been long absent from Home) of returning to see my own Country;
and being besides unwilling to go back to _Cacklogallinia_, the Actions
and Designs of the first Minister, to which I was privy, having made
such Impressions upon me, that I was prejudic'd against their whole
Nation; nor was that Prejudice remov'd, by being acquainted with their
Laws, Customs and Manners, some of which appeared to me unreasonable,
and others barbarous.
I say, upon the aforesaid Considerations, I apply'd my self to some of
the _Selenites_, whose Courtesy I had already experienced, asking them,
whether they could direct me to find out some Part of the Terrestrial
World, known and frequented to by _Europeans_: They were so good to give
me full and plain Instructions what Course to steer thro' the Air for
that Purpose, which I was very well able to follow, having a Pocket
Compass about me, which I brought from _England_, it having long been
my Custom never to stir any where without one.
It being necessary to bring _Volatilio_ into the Design, I went to him
and told him, that as we were so unfortunate not to succeed in finding
out the Country of Gold, it would be adviseable to return home some
other Way, in hopes of better Success in going back; otherwise we might,
in all Probability, meet with a disagreeable Welcome from the Emperor
and the whole Court. _Volatilio_ hearken'd to these Reasons, and besides
having the true Spirit of a Projector in him, which is, not to be
discouraged at Disappointments, he consented to my Proposal.
Accordingly we set out, and after some Days travelling, we meeting with
little or nothing in our Journey differing from our former, we lighted
safely upon the _Blue Mountain_ in _Jamaica_. Here I was within my own
Knowledge; for having formerly made several Voyages to _Jamaica_, was no
Stranger to the Place.
Now therefore I thought it time to acquaint the _Cacklogallinians_
with the innocent Fraud I had put upon them; they seem'd frighted and
surprized, as not knowing how to get home to their own Country: For
_Volatilio_ apear'd to be quite out of his Element. However, I directed
them which Way to steer, which was directly Southward; and having rested
for some time, they took their Leave of me, and _Volatilio_, with his
_Palanquineers_, began their Flight, as I had directed them, and I never
saw them more.
As for my Part, I made the best of my Way to _Kingston_, where coming
acquainted with one Captain _Madden_, Commander of the _London Frigate_,
he was so kind, upon hearing my Story, to offer to give me my Passage
_gratis_, with whom having embark'd at _Port Royal_, I reach'd my native
Country, after a Passage of Nine Weeks.
_FINIS._
* * * * *
Thranscriber's note: The following corrections were made:
p. xi
retold by Firdausi in the _Shaknameh_, of Kavi Usan
_spelling as in original, but no comma_
p. 28
Latitude of ---- Degrees North
_original has blank space_
p. 73-77
He put several into my Hands _to end of chapter_
_original has entire text in one paragraph_
p. 75
is altogether vain
_original reads_ altoherget
p. 78
allured to...
_not an error_
p. 84
and new Disputes
_original reads_ and and new...
the poor Clergy (for they are not all rich,
_original reads_ are not all rich) _with extra parenthesis_
p. 87
It is, true there is a Council
_comma in original_
p. 119
Shares sold of the Treasure
_original reads_ Teasure
p. 135
Julip and Jonquil
_so in original_: Tulip?
p. 138 end
...and view the Country.
_original has comma at end of paragraph_
p. 144
Affiability and Gravity
_spelling as in original_
p. 147
I went with them...
_original has paragraph in quotation marks_
p. 151
I repeated...
_original has beginning of paragraph in quotation marks_
p. 152
...to assist me." He told me...
_original continues quotation marks to end of paragraph_
p. 158
Goal (twice)
_spelling as in original_ (Gaol)
p. 161
_Courvite_'s Regiment
_original has_ Reigment ]