I
It is a long path which stretches from forty-five to seventy. A path
easy enough to make, for each day's journey through life is a part of
it, but very difficult to retrace. When we turn at that advanced
mile-stone and look back, things seem misty. For there is many a twist
and angle in the highway of a life, and often the things which we would
forget stand out the clearest. But I would not drive from my brain this
quiet afternoon the visions which enfold it,--the blessed recollections
of over a score of years ago. For the sweet voice which speaks in my
ear as I write I have never ceased to hear; the face which the mirror of
my mind ever reflects before my eyes I have looked upon with
never-tiring eagerness, and the tender hand which I can imagine betimes
creeping into my own, is the chiefest blessing of a life nearly spent.
There is no haunting memory of past misdeeds to shadow the quiet rest of
my last days. As I bid my mind go back over the path which my feet have
trod, no ghost uprises to confront it; no voice cries out for
retribution or justice; not even does a dumb animal whine at a blow
inflicted, nor a worm which my foot has wantonly pressed, appear. I
would show forth no self-praise in this, but rather a devout
thankfulness unto the Creator who made me as I am, with a heart of mercy
for all living things, and a reverent love for all His wonderful works.
The beauty of tree, and flowering plant, and lowly creeper abides with
me as an everlasting joy, and the song of the humblest singer the forest
shelters finds a response in my heart. Without my window now, as I sit
down to make a history of part of my life, a brown-coated English
sparrow is chattering in a strange jargon to his mate on the limb of an
Early Harvest apple tree, and I pause a moment to listen to his shrill
little voice, and to watch the black patch under his throat puff up and
down.
It is the fall of the year, and the afternoon is gray. At times an arrow
of sunlight breaks through the shields of clouds, and kisses the brown
earth with a quivering spot of light. Across the sloping, unkept lawn,
about midway between the house and the whitewashed gate leading from the
yard, a rabbit hops, aimlessly, his back humped up, and his white tail
showing plainly amid his sombre surroundings. I can see the muscles
about his nostrils twitching, as he stops now and again to nibble at a
withered tuft of grass. A lonely jay flits from one tree to another; a
cardinal speeds by my window, a line of color across a dark background;
and one by one the dry leaves drop noiselessly down, making thicker the
soft covering which Nature is spreading over the breast of Mother Earth.
It may be that I shall not see the resurrection of another spring. Each
winter that has passed for the last few years has grown a little harder
for me, and my breathing becomes difficult in the damp, cold weather.
Perhaps my eyes shall not again behold the glorious flood of light and
color which follows the footsteps of spring; perhaps when the earth is
wrapped once more in its mantle of leaves they shall lie over my breast
as well. For man's years upon this earth are measured in Holy Writ as
threescore and ten, and come December fourth next, I shall have lived my
allotted time. My ways have not all been ways of pleasantness, nor all
my paths peace. But I am glad to have lived; to have known the hopes of
youth and the trials of manhood. To have felt within my soul that
emotion which rules the earth and the universes, and which is Heaven's
undefiled gift to Man. From books I have gained knowledge; from the
lessons of life I have learned wisdom; from love I have found the way
which leads to life eternal.
Old age is treacherous, and it comes to me now that maybe I have delayed
my work too long. For the mind of age does not move with the nimbleness
of a young colt, but rather with the labored efforts of a beast of
burden whose limbs are stiff from a life of toil. But this I know, that
there is a period in my existence which the years cannot dim. I have
lived it over again and again, winter and summer, summer and winter,
here in my quiet country home among the hills. There has been nothing to
my life but that; first, the living of it, and then the memory of it.
It is my love story.