COUNT—Never mind that, Juhasz.... There is something else I want to talk
with you about.... There are many complaints against you. Very many!
JUHASZ—I know your excellency isn’t satisfied with me.
COUNT—But my pigeons are satisfied, eh?
JUHASZ—Is that what you are displeased about, sir?
COUNT—You feed them too much. They are so fat they won’t fly any more.
And when I ask for a pigeon for my luncheon I am informed that Mr. Juhasz
won’t permit one to be killed.
JUHASZ—I’m so sorry for the poor soft little creatures....
COUNT—And aren’t you sorry for the poor soft little ox?
JUHASZ—I don’t know him personally, sir.
COUNT—Humph!
JUHASZ—It doesn’t seem right to me ... to eat your personal acquaintances.
COUNT—[_Significantly._] It does to me.
JUHASZ—If that’s the only complaint....
COUNT—It isn’t. There are many more. You and I will have to part company,
Juhasz. I can’t keep you here any longer.... Now every time I broach the
subject ... you look at me like that.
JUHASZ—[_Averts his eyes._] I’m sorry, sir.
COUNT—[_Irritably._] I once had a horse named Trafalgar. He was just like
you.
JUHASZ—Like me?
COUNT—He broke his leg ... and I couldn’t have him shot because he used
to look at me ... exactly as you do. [_In spite of himself, JUHASZ looks
at him._] Don’t look at me like that! I forbid it!
JUHASZ—[_Looking away._] Yes, your excellency.
COUNT—[_Consults a memorandum._] Here is a long list of your offenses.
First, there’s that potter, Mano Steiner, who owes us eight thousand
kronen. You granted him an extension of one year. What for?
JUHASZ—Pots, your excellency.
COUNT—I know that.
JUHASZ—And the poor fellow has had so much trouble of late.
COUNT—Trouble?
JUHASZ—Business trouble.
COUNT—You have no right to be charitable at my expense.
JUHASZ—Wasn’t there some other complaint, too, sir?
COUNT—Yes, lots of them. [_Consults the memorandum._] You owe three
hundred and thirty kronen to the all-night café.
JUHASZ—Not for myself, excellency.
COUNT—I know. You assumed that fellow Mate’s debts. And now that he has
credit again he has resumed his drinking.
JUHASZ—Oh, your excellency, he didn’t owe the three hundred and thirty
kronen for drinks.
COUNT—For what, then?
JUHASZ—For hard-boiled eggs.
COUNT—Is that what he told you? Let me see. That would make 640
hard-boiled eggs in a single month. Or twenty-one a day.
JUHASZ—Yes, the poor fellow has to eat twenty-two every day. The doctor
has put him on an egg diet.... But that bill at the café is paid.
COUNT—Juhasz, Juhasz, it’s sinful the way you let people rob you. I
suppose you haven’t a heller to your name.