CHAPTER XIII

Frederic opened his eyes at the sound of a gentle, persistent

tapping on the bedroom door. Resting on his elbow, he looked blankly,

wonderingly, about the room, and--remembered. The sun streamed into the

chamber, filling it with a radiance that almost dazzled him. He rubbed

his eyes, and again, as in the night just gone, his thought absorbed the

contents of the room.

He had not dreamed it, after all. He was there in Lydia's bed, attended

by all the mute, inanimate sentinels that stood guard over her while she

slept. The knocking continued. He dreamed on, his blinking eyes still

seeking out the dainty, Lydia-like treasures in the enchanted room.

“Frederic!” called a voice outside the door.

He started guiltily.

“All right,” was his cheery response.

“Get up! It's nine o'clock. Or will you have your breakfast in bed,

sir?” It was Lydia who spoke, assuming a fine Irish brogue in imitation

of their little maid of all work.

“I'll have to, unless my clothes have come over!”

“They are here. Now do hurry.”

He sprang out of bed and bounded across the room. She passed the

garments through the partly opened door.

“Morning!” he greeted, sticking his tousled head around the edge.

“Morning!” she responded as briefly.

“Don't wait breakfast for me. I'll skip over home------”

“It will be ready in fifteen minutes,” she said arbitrarily. “Don't

dawdle.”

“How pretty, how sweet you are this morning,” he cried, his dark eyes

dancing.

“Silly!” she scoffed, but with a radiant smile. Then, with a perfectly

childish giggle, she slammed the door and scurried away as if in fear of

pursuit.

He was artistic, temperamental. Such as he have not the capacity for

haste when there is the slightest opportunity to dream and dawdle. He

was a full quarter of an hour taking his tub, and another was consumed

in getting into his clothes. At home he was always much longer than

this, for he was delayed by the additional task of selecting shirts,

ties, socks, and scarf-pins, and changing his mind and all of them three

or four times before being satisfied with the effect. He sallied forth

in great haste at nine thirty-five, and was extremely proud of himself,

although unshaved.

His first act, after warmly greeting Mrs Desmond, was to sit down at the

piano. Hurriedly he played a few jerky, broken snatches of the haunting

air he had heard the night before.

“I've been wondering if I could remember it,” he apologised, as he

followed them into the dining-room. “What's the matter, Lyddy? Didn't you

sleep well? Poor old girl, I was a beast to deprive you of your bed.”

“I have a mean headache, that's all,” said the girl quickly. He noticed

the dark circles under her eyes and the queer expression, as of trouble,

in their depths. “It will go as soon as I've had my coffee.”

Night, with its wonderful sensations, was behind them. Day revealed the

shadow that had fallen. They unconsciously shrank from it and drew back

into the shelter of their own misgivings. The joyous abandon of the

night before was dead. Over its grave stood the leering spectre of

unrest.

When he took her in his arms later on, and kissed her, there was not the

shadow of a doubt in the mind of either that the restraining influence

of a condition over which they had no control was there to mock their

endeavour to be natural. They were not to be deceived by the apparent

earnestness of the embrace. Each knew that the other was asking a

question, even as their lips met and clung in the rather pathetic

attempt to confirm the fond dream of the night before. They kissed

as through a veil. They were awake once more, and they were wary,

unconvinced. The answer to their questions came in the kiss itself, and

constraint fell upon them.

Drawn by an impulse that had been struggling within him, Frederic found

himself standing at the sitting-room window. It was a sly, covert,

though intensely eager look that he directed at another window far

below. If he hoped for some sign of life in his father's study he was

to be disappointed. The curtains hung straight and motionless. He would

have denied the charge that he longed to see Yvonne sitting in the

casement, waiting to waft a sign of greeting up to him; he would have

denied that the thought was in his mind when he went to the window; and

yet he was conscious of a feeling of disappointment, even annoyance.

With considerable adroitness Lydia engaged his attention at the piano.

Keyed up as she was, his every emotion was plain to her perceptions. She

had anticipated the motive that led him to the window. She knew that

it would assert itself in spite of all that he could do to prevent. She

waited humbly for the thing to happen, pain in her heart, and when her

reading proved true she was prepared to combat its effect. Music was her

only ally.

“How does it go, Freddy--the thing you were playing before breakfast?”

She was trying to pick up the elusive air. “It is such a fascinating,

adorable thing. Is this right?”

He looked at his watch. The few bars she had mastered in her eagerness

fell upon inattentive ears at first. But she persisted. He came over and

stood beside her. His long, slim fingers joined hers on the keyboard,

and the sensuous strains of the waltz responded to his touch. He smiled

patiently as she struggled to repeat what he had played. The fever of

the thing took hold of him at last, as she had known it would. Leaning

over her shoulder, his cheek quite close to hers, he played. Her hands

dropped into her lap.

She retained her seat on the bench. Her cunning brain told her that it

would be a mistake to relinquish her place at the keyboard. He would

play it through a time or two, mechanically perhaps, and then his

interest would be gone. He would have gratified her simple request, and

that would have been the end. She led him on by interrupting time and

again in her eagerness to grasp the lesson he was giving. Finally she

moved over on the bench, and he sat down beside her. He was absorbed in

the undertaking. His brow cleared. His smile was a happy, eager one.

“It's a tricky thing, Lyddy,” he said enthusiastically, “but you'll get

it. Now listen.”

For an hour they sat there, master and pupil, sweetheart and lover.

The fear was less in the heart of one when, tiring at last, the other

contentedly abandoned the rôle of taskmaster and threw himself upon the

couch, remarking, as he stretched himself in luxurious ease:

“I like this, Lyddy. I wish you didn't have to go over there and dig

away at that confounded journal. I like this so well that, 'pon my soul,

I'd enjoy loafing here with you the whole day long.”

Her heart leaped. “You shall have your wish, Freddy,” she said, barely

able to conceal the note of eagerness in her voice. “I am not going to

work to-day. I--my head, you know. Mother telephoned to Mr Brood this

morning before you were up.”

“You're going to loaf?” he cried gladly. “Bully! And I may stay? But,

gee, I forgot your headache. It will------” He was staring up from the

couch when she hastily broke in, shaking her head vigorously.

“Lie still. My head is much better. I want you to stay, dear. I--I want

to have you all to myself again. Oh, it will be so good--so good to

while away an idle day with you!”

She was standing beside the couch. He reached forth and took her hand in

his, laying it against his lips.

“It won't be an idle day,” said he seriously. “We shall be very busy.”

“Busy?” she inquired apprehensively.

“Talking things over,” he said

briefly. “Of course, I ought to go home and face the music.”

“What do you mean?”

“It's something I can't talk about, Lyddy. Let's forget our troubles for

to-day.”

“Better still, let us share them. Stay here with me. Don't go home

to-day, Freddy. I------”

“Oh, I've got to have it out with father some time,” he said

bitterly. “It may as well be now as later on. We've got to come to an

understanding.”

Her heart was cold. She was afraid of what would come out of that

“understanding.” All night long she had lain with wide-staring eyes,

thinking of the horrid thing James Brood had said to her. Far in the

night she aroused her mother from a sound sleep to put the question that

had been torturing her for hours. Mrs Desmond confessed that her husband

had told her that Brood had never considered Frederic to be his son,

and then the two lay side by side for the remainder of the night without

uttering a word, and yet keenly awake. They were thinking of the hour

when Brood would serve notice on the intruder!

Lydia now realised that the hour was near. Frederic himself would

challenge the wrath of all these bitter years, and it would fall upon

his unsuspecting head with cruel, obliterating force.

The girl shivered as with a racking chill. “Have it out with father,”

he had said in his ignorance. He was preparing to rush headlong to his

doom. To prevent that catastrophe was the single, all-absorbing thought

in Lydia's mind. Her only hope lay in keeping the men apart until she

could extract from Brood a promise to be merciful, and this she intended

to accomplish if she had to go down on her knees and grovel before the

man.

“Oh, Freddy,” she cried earnestly, “why take the chance of making a bad

matter worse?” Even as she uttered the words she realised how stupid,

how ineffectual they were.

“It can't be much worse,” he said gloomily. “I am inclined to think he'd

relish a straight-out, fair, and square talk, anyhow. Moreover, I mean

to take Yvonne to task for the thing she said--or implied last night.

About you, I mean. She------”

“Oh, I beg of you, don't!”

“It was--unspeakable. I don't see what could have come over her.”

“She was jealous. She admitted it, dear. If I don't mind, why should you

incur------”

“Do you really believe she--she loves the governor enough to be as

jealous as all that?” he exclaimed, a curious gleam in his eyes--an

expression she did not like.

“Of course I think so!” she cried emphatically. “What a question! Have

you any reason to suspect that she does not love your father?”

“No--certainly not,” he said in some confusion. Then, after a moment:

“Are you quite sure this headache of yours is real, Lyddy?”

“What do you mean?”

“Isn't it an excuse to stay away from--from Yvonne, after what happened

last night? Be honest, dear.”

She was silent for a long time, weighing her answer. Was it best to be

honest with him?

“I confess that it has something to do with it,” she admitted. Lydia

could not be anything but truthful.

“I thought so. It's--it's a rotten shame, Lyddy. That's why I want to

talk to her. I want to reason with her. It's all so perfectly silly,

this misunderstanding. You've just got to go on as you were before,

Lyddy--just as if it hadn't happened. It------”

“I shall complete the work for your father, Freddy,” she said quietly.

“Two or three days more will see the end. After that neither my services

nor my presence will be required over there.”

“You don't mean to say----” he began, unbelievingly.

“It isn't likely I'd go there for pleasure, is it?” she interrupted

dryly.

“But think of the old times, the------”

“I can think of them just as well here as anywhere else. No; I shan't

annoy Mrs Brood, Freddy.” It was on the tip of her tongue to say more,

but she thought better of it.

“They're going abroad soon,” he ventured. “At least, that's father's

plan. Yvonne isn't so keen about it. She calls this being abroad, you

know. Besides,” he hurried on in his eagerness to excuse Yvonne, “she's

tremendously fond of you.”

Lydia was wise. “I would give a great deal to be able to really believe

so, Freddy. I--I could be very fond of her.”

He warmed to the cause.

“No end of times she's said you were the finest------” Her smile--an

odd one, such as he had never seen on her lips before--checked his

eager speech. He bridled. “Of course, if you don't choose to believe me,

there's nothing more to be said. She meant it, however.”

“I am sure she said it, Freddy,” she hastened to declare. “Will she be

pleased with our--our marriage?”

It required a great deal of courage on her part to utter these words,

but she was determined to bring the true situation home to him.

He did not even hesitate, and there was conviction in his voice as he

replied:

“It doesn't matter whether she's pleased or displeased. We're pleasing

ourselves, are we not? There's no one else to consider, dear.”

Her eyes were full upon his, and there was wonder in them.

“Thank you--thank you, Freddy,” she cried.

“I--I knew you'd------” The sentence remained unfinished.

“Has there ever been a doubt in your mind?” he asked uneasily, after

a moment. He knew there had been misgivings, and he was ready, in his

self-abasement, to resent them if given the slightest opening. Guilt made

him arrogant.

“No,” she answered simply.

The answer was not what he expected. He flushed painfully.

“I--I thought perhaps you'd--you'd get a notion in your head that------”

He, too, stopped for want of the right words to express himself without

committing the egregious error of letting her see that it had been in

his thoughts to accuse her of jealousy.

She waited for a moment. “That I might have got the notion in my head

you did not love me any longer? Is that what you started to say?”

“Yes,” he confessed, averting his eyes.

“I've been unhappy at times, Freddy, but that is all,” she said

steadily. “You see, I know how honest you really are. I know it far

better than you know it yourself.”

“I wonder just how honest I am,” he muttered.

“I wonder what would happen if------ But nothing can happen. Nothing

ever will happen. Thank you, old girl, for saying what you said just

now. It's--it's bully of you.”

He got up and began pacing the floor. She leaned back in her chair,

deliberately giving him time to straighten out his thoughts for himself.

Wiser than she knew herself to be, she held back the warm, loving words

of encouragement, of gratitude, of belief.

But she was not prepared for the impetuous appeal that followed. He

threw himself down beside her and grasped her hands in his. His face

seemed suddenly old and haggard, his eyes burned like coals of fire.

Then, for the first time, she had an inkling of the great struggle that

had been going on inside of him for weeks and weeks.

“Listen, Lyddy,” he began nervously; “will you marry me to-morrow? Are

you willing to take the chance that I'll be able to support you, to earn

enough------”

“Why, Freddy!” she cried, half starting up from the couch. She was

dumbfounded.

“Will you? Will you? I mean it,” he went on, almost argumentatively.

He was very much in earnest, but alas! the fire, the passion of the

importunate lover was missing. She shrank back into the corner of the

couch, staring at him with puzzled eyes. Comprehension was slow in

arriving. As he hurried on with his plea she began to see clearly, her

sound brain grasped the significance of this sudden decision on his

part.

“There's no use waiting, dear. I'll never be more capable of earning

a living than I am right now. I can go into the office with Brooks any

day, and I--I think I can make good. God knows, I can try hard enough.

Brooks says he's got a place there for me in the bond department. It

won't be much at first, but I can work into a pretty good--what's the

matter? Don't you think I can do it? Have you no faith in me? Are you

afraid to take a chance?”

She had smiled sadly--it seemed to him reprovingly. His cheek flushed.

“What has put all this into your head, Freddy dear?” she asked shrewdly.

“Why, good Lord, haven't we had this very thing in mind for years?” he

cried. “Haven't we talked about my------”

“What put it into your head--just now?” she insisted.

“I don't know what you're driving at,” he floundered.

“Don't you think it would be safer--I mean wiser if you were to wait

until you are quite certain of yourself, Freddy?”

“I am certain of myself,” he exploded. “What do you mean? What sort of

talk is this you are------”

“Hush! Don't be angry, dear. Be honest now. Don't you understand just

what I mean?” They looked squarely into each other's eyes.

“I want you to marry me at once,” said he doggedly. “You know I love

you, Lyddy. Is there anything more to say than that?”

“Don't you want to tell me, Freddy?”

His eyes wavered. “I can't go on living as I have been for the past few

months. I've just got to end it, Lyddy. You don't understand--you can't,

and there isn't any use in trying to explain the----”

“I think I do understand, dear,” she said quietly, laying her hand on

his. “I understand so completely that there isn't any use in your trying

to explain. But don't you think you are a bit cowardly?”

“Cowardly?” he gasped, and then the blood rushed to his face.

“Is it quite fair to me--or to yourself?” He was silent. She waited for

a moment and then went on resolutely. “I know just what it is that you

are afraid of, Freddy. I shall marry you, of course. I love you more

than anything else in all the world. But are you quite fair in asking me

to marry you while you are still afraid, dear?”

“Before God, Lyddy, I love no one else but you!” he cried earnestly. “I

know what it is you are thinking, and I--I don't blame you. But I want

you _now_--you don't know how much I need you now! I want to begin a new

life with you. I want to feel that you are with me--just you--strong and

brave and enduring. I am adrift. I need you.”

“I know you love me, Frederic. I am absolutely certain of it,” she said

slowly, weighing her words carefully. “But I cannot marry you

to-morrow--nor for a long time after to-morrow. In a year--yes. But not

now, dear; not just now. You--you understand, don't you? Say that you

understand.”

His chin sank upon his breast. “Of course I understand,” he said in a

very low voice.

“I shall never love you any more than I love you now, Freddy--never so

much, perhaps, as at this moment.”

“I know, Lyddy; I know,” he said dully.

“If you insist, I will marry you to-morrow; but you cannot--you will not

ask it of me, will you?”

“But you know I do love you,” he cried. “There isn't any doubt in your

mind, Lyddy. There is no one else I tell you.”

“I think I am just beginning to understand men,” she remarked

enigmatically.

“And to wonder why they call women the weaker sex, eh?”

“Yes,” she said, so seriously that the wry smile died on his lips. “I

don't believe there are many women who would ask a man to be sorry for

them. That's really what all this amounts to, isn't it, Freddy?”

“By Jove!” he exclaimed wonderingly.

“You are a strong, self-willed, chivalrous man, and yet you think

nothing of asking a woman to protect you against yourself; You are

afraid to stand alone. Wait! You need me because you are a strong

man and are afraid that your very strength will lead you into ignoble

warfare. You are afraid of your strength, not of your weakness. So you

ask me to help you. Without thinking, you ask me to marry you to-morrow.

The idea came to you like a flash of light in the darkness. Five

minutes--yes, one minute before you asked it of me, Freddy dear, you

were floundering in the darkness, uncertain which way to turn. You were

afraid of the things you could not see. You looked for some place in

which to hide. The flash of light revealed a haven of refuge. So you

asked me to to marry you to-morrow.”

All through this indictment she had held his hand clasped tightly in

both of hers. He was looking at her with a frank acknowledgment growing

in his eyes.

“Are you ashamed of me, Lyddy?” he asked.

“No,” she said, meeting his

gaze steadily. “I am a little disappointed, that's all. It is you who

are ashamed.”

“I am,” said he simply. “It wasn't fair.”

“Love will endure. I am content to wait,” she said with a wistful smile.

“You will be my wife, no matter what happens? You won't let this make

any difference?”

“You are not angry with me?”

“Angry? Why should I be angry with you, Lyddy? For shaking some sense

into me? For seeing through me with that wonderful, far-sighted brain of

yours? Why, I could go down on my knees to you. I could------”

“Let me think, Freddy,” she cried, suddenly confronted by her own

declaration of the night before. She had told James Brood that she would

marry this discredited son of his the instant he was ready to take her

unto himself. She had flung that in the older man's face, and she had

meant every word of it.

“I--I take back what I said, dear. I will marry you to-morrow.” She

spoke rapidly, jerkily; her eyes were very dark and luminous.

“What has come over you?” He stared at her in astonishment. “What--oh, I

see! You are not sure of me. You------”

“Yes, yes, I am! It isn't that. I did not know what I was saying when I

refused to------”

“Oh, there you go, just like a woman!” he cried triumphantly. “Spoiling

everything! You dear, lovable, inconsequent, regular girl! Hurray! Now

we're back where we began, and I'm holding the whip. You bring me to my

senses and then promptly lose your own.” He clasped her in his arms and

held her close. “You dear, dear Lyddy!”

“I mean it, dear heart.” The whisper smothered in his embrace.

“To-morrow--to-day, if you will. We will go away. We will------”

“No,” he said, quite resolutely; “you have shown me the way. I've

just got to make good in your estimation before I can hold you to your

promise. You're splendid, Lyddy; you're wonderful, but--well, I was

unfair a while ago. I mean to be fair now. We'll wait. It's better so.

I will come again and ask you, but it won't be as it was just now. It

would not be right for me to take you at your word. We'll wait.”

Neither spoke for many minutes. It was she who broke the silence.

“You must promise one thing, Frederic. For my sake, avoid a quarrel with

your father. I could not bear that. You will promise, dear? You must.”

“I don't intend to quarrel with him; but if I am to remain in his house

there has got to be------”

He paused, his jaw set stubbornly.

“Promise me you will wait. He is going away in two weeks. When he

returns--later on--next fall------”

“Oh, if it really distresses you, Lyddy, I'll------”

“It does distress me. I want your promise.”

“I'll do my part,” he said resignedly, “and next fall will see us

married, so------”

The telephone-bell in the hall was ringing. Frederic released Lydia's

hand and sat up rather stiffly, as one who suddenly suspects that he is

being spied upon. The significance of the movement did not escape Lydia.

She laughed mirthlessly.

“I will see who it is,” she said, and arose. Two red spots appeared in

his cheeks. Then it was that she realised he had been waiting all along

for the bell to ring; he had been expecting a summons.

“If it's for me, please say--er--say I'll------” he began, somewhat

disjointedly, but she interrupted him.

“Will you stay here for luncheon, Frederic? And this afternoon we will

go to--oh, is there a concert or a recital------”

“Yes, I'll stay if you'll let me,” he said wistfully. “We'll find

something to do.”

She went to the telephone. He heard the polite greetings, the polite

assurances that she had not taken cold, two or three laughing rejoinders

to what must have been amusing comments on the storm and its effect on

timid creatures, and then:

“Yes, Mrs Brood, I will call him to the phone.”

Black is White · 第 13 / 24 章