No art connected with gardening has been so generally ridiculed in
modern times as the topiary art, or that of vegetable sculpture. It is
certainly not worthy of defence; and yet it seems to me quite as
rational to cut out a figure in box or yew, as to shear the branches of
a hedge-row to reduce it to architectural proportions. I cannot see why
vegetable architecture is any more rational than vegetable sculpture. I
cannot see why those persons who admire a clipped hedge-row should
object to an “Adam and Eve in yew,” or a “Green Dragon in box,” nor why
those who are willing to torture a row of shrubbery by this Procrustean
operation should not be pleased with a “Noah’s Ark in holly,” or an “old
maid-of-honor in wormwood,” as described in Pope’s satire. Of the two
operations, I consider the one that still maintains its ground in
popular taste the most senseless. “An old maid-of-honor in wormwood”
would at least have the merit of being ridiculous; but a clipped
hedge-row is simply execrable, without affording any amusement.