Among the examples of noble Sister-hood, a prominent place must be
given to the illustrious lady remembered by the above designation,
Mary Sidney, afterwards Countess of Pembroke. Whether we have regard
to her sweetness of disposition, her piety, her lofty and cultured
intellect, her devotion to duty, or her singularly close attachment to
her famous brother, her life is one of great interest. A few threads
of it may be fittingly woven together, prominence being given to her
character of Sister.
She was born in a famous age, of a noble stock. It has been observed
that "no period of the English history is more richly adorned with
examples of genuine worth, than the golden age of Queen Elizabeth. It
was an age of reviving literature, when men began to be esteemed
according to their wisdom."
Mary Sidney was the daughter of Sir Henry Sidney, Lord Deputy of
Ireland and Lord President of Wales, who had married Lady Mary, eldest
daughter of John, Duke of Northumberland, who was, along with his son,
Lord Guilford Dudley, beheaded for devotion to the cause of the noble,
but ill-fated, Lady Jane Grey.
In such parentage Mary Sidney could not but be blessed. Her father had
been the close friend and companion of the youthful King, Edward VI.,
who had expired in his arms. He appears to have been as distinguished
for his learning as for the virtues which marked his private life, and
the rectitude which characterised the discharge of his public duties.
Of the mother of Mary Sidney it has been said that "she was not less
distinguished in her sphere; one indeed, if not of equal splendour and
publicity with that in which her husband moved, yet to her children,
and, through her example to the world at large, no less useful and
honourable; for with abilities every way adequate to the task of
instruction, and with a devotedness and sense of duty which rendered
her exertions a never-failing source of gratification and delight, she
gave up her time almost exclusively to the early education of her
offspring, superintending not only their initiation into the
principles of religion and virtue, but directing their studies, and
regulating, and even partaking in, their sports and relaxations."
Mary Sidney was born in or about the year 1557, at the historic castle
of Penshurst, in Kent. It had been granted by King Edward VI. to Sir
William Sidney, the grandfather of Mary. Ben Jonson has left a
pleasant description of Mary's birth-place, in reference to which he
says:--
"Thou art not, Penshurst, built to envious show
Of touch or marble, nor canst boast a row
Of polished pillars or a roof of gold:
Thou hast no lantern whereof tales are told;
Or stair, or courts; but standst an ancient pile;
And these, grudged at, are reverenced the while.
Thou joy'st in better marks of soil and air,
Of wood, of water; therein art thou fair.
Thou hast thy walks for health as well as sport
Thy mount, to which thy dryads do resort,
Where Pan and Bacchus their high feasts have made,
Beneath the broad beech and the chestnut shade;
That taller tree, which of a nut was set,
At his great birth where all the muses met;
There, in the writhed bark, are cut the names
Of many a Sylvan taken with his flames;
And there the ruddy satyrs oft provoke
The lighter fauns to reach thy lady's oak."
Mary Sidney was two or three years younger than her brother Philip, to
whom she became such a loving and devoted companion, and upon whose
character and life she exercised such a powerful influence. Being a
child of rare natural endowments, it can be well understood that,
brought up in such a home, and under the immediate care of such
parents, who appreciated learning at its true value and for its own
sake, she early exhibited those charms and accomplishments which
rendered her conspicuous among the learned, and her society courted by
the greatest of that brilliant age. In all probability her early
training was conducted side by side with that of her brother Philip.
With minds and dispositions cast in similar moulds, kindred influences
began early to work towards the formation of their young lives.
Learning the same lessons, reading the same books, and with the like
wise and loving counsels instilled into their receptive minds, they
grew up with only such loving rivalry as tended to stimulate their
exertions and cement their friendship. We can imagine how, their
youthful tasks performed, they would wander forth hand-in-hand in the
grounds of Penshurst, making the ancient woods ring with their merry
laughter. Or, sauntering by the waters of the Medway, would, after the
manner of thoughtful children, speculate on the future, weaving bright
dreams of happiness in store, and making vows of eternal friendship.
We have some knowledge of how well Philip and his sister availed
themselves of the advantages conferred upon them by the self-denying
devotion of their mother. Her example is, in its results, full of
encouragement to those parents who, having the ability, find also the
opportunity of personally instructing their young children. It has
been said that "English history can scarcely show two characters more
thoroughly good and amiable than were Philip Sidney and his sister."
We do not gather grapes where thorns have been sown. There is yet
something to be learnt from the example of the Hebrew mothers, who had
the sole charge of their children until they were five years old. Even
then the girls remained the especial care of their mother, who still
continued also to take part in the education of the boys. We find King
Lemuel paying a tribute of filial remembrance in, after many years,
recording the words "that his mother taught" him.
At the age of about twelve years, however, Philip was sent to school
at Shrewsbury. It was about this time that his father, so impressed
with the beauty of his disposition and the zeal he displayed for
learning, styled him _Lumen familiae sue_--the ornament of his
family. A letter written by Sir Henry to his son affords a pleasant
insight into the character of the writer, and embodies advice which
would adorn any page. The following is an extract:--
"Since this is my first letter that ever I did write to you, I
will not that it be all empty of some advices, which my natural
care of you provoketh me to wish you to follow. Let your first
action be the lifting up of your mind to Almighty God by hearty
prayer; and feelingly digest the words you speak in prayer, with
continual meditation and thinking of Him to whom you pray and of
the matter for which you pray. And use this as an ordinary act,
and at an ordinary hour. Whereby the time itself will put you in
remembrance to do that which you are accustomed to do in that
time. Apply your study to such hours as your discreet master doth
assign you, earnestly; and the time I know he will so limit as
shall be both sufficient for your learning and for your health.
And mark the sense and the matter of that you read, as well as the
words; so shall you both enrich your tongue with words and your
wit with matter; and judgment will grow as years grow in you. Be
humble and obedient to your master, for unless you frame yourself
to obey others, yea, and feel in yourself what obedience is, you
shall never be able to teach others how to obey you.... Give
yourself to be merry, for you degenerate from your father if you
do not find yourself most able in wit and body and to do anything
when you be most merry; but let your mirth be ever void of all
scurrility and biting words to any man, for a wound given by a
word is oftentimes harder to be cured than that which is given
with the sword.... Think upon every word that you will speak
before you utter it, and remember how Nature hath ramparted up, as
it were, the tongue with teeth, lips, yea, and hair without the
lips, and all betokening reins or bridles for the loose use of
that member. Above all things, tell no untruth; no, not in
trifles; the custom of it is naughty. And let it not satisfy you
that, for a time, the hearers take it for truth; for after it will
be known as it is, to your shame; for there cannot be a greater
reproach to a gentleman than to be counted a liar. Study and
endeavour yourself to be virtuously occupied; so shall you make
such a habit of well-doing in you that you shall not know how to
do evil though you would."
To this letter the Lady Mary wrote a postscript full of wise and
tender sympathy, in which she speaks of her desire that God shall
plant in him His grace, and advises him to read over every four or
five days the "excellent counsels" of his father.
It is needless to say how well young Philip appreciated and availed
himself of the advice of his wise parents and the opportunities
afforded him of advancement. During the time of his stay at Shrewsbury
the official duties of his father as Lord President of the Marches of
Wales necessitated his residence at Ludlow Castle, where Philip would
have many opportunities of visiting and of enjoying the society of his
beloved sister.
At an early age Philip went to Oxford, and subsequently to Cambridge.
His reputation for learning at the former University was such that his
tutor, Dr. Thomas Thornton, himself a man of remarkable learning,
desired to have it recorded on his tomb that he had been the tutor of
Sir Philip Sidney when at Oxford.
After his distinguished career at the Universities, Mr. Philip Sidney,
wishing for the advantages to be gained by Continental residence and
travel, applied to the Sovereign for permission. Accordingly, in 1572,
we find him proceeding to visit various countries on the Continent.
During this residence abroad so great was his reputation for learning
and integrity, and so engaging his manners, that he formed lasting
friendships with some of the most notable men of the age. Returning to
England in May, 1575, Philip soon became one of the greatest ornaments
and favourites of the brilliant Court of Queen Elizabeth, who showed
him many tokens of her appreciation. Among other important trusts
committed to him by his astute Sovereign was his appointment in 1576,
when, it should be remembered, he was only twenty-two years of age, as
Ambassador to the Court of the Emperor of Austria upon a mission
requiring the exercise of considerable skill and judgment.
Meanwhile, Sidney's sister Mary grew up into bright and happy
womanhood. The charms of her person were only equalled by the
sweetness and amiability of her disposition, and the extraordinary
culture of her mind. Among the many ladies of the time distinguished
for their attainments Mary Sidney was prominent. The Queen herself set
a worthy example. Having had for tutor the celebrated Roger Ascham,
she had from her youth been devoted for learning, and herself spoke
five languages. Her Court was adorned by the presence of many ladies
of great distinction, but to Mary Sidney seems to have been awarded
the palm, both for learning and true excellence of character. A
portrait of her in Lodge's "Portraits of Illustrious Personages," from
an original of Mark Gerard, representing her in her young womanhood,
shows her to have been a person of an unusually gracious presence. The
soft, wavy hair fringes a broad and high forehead, beneath which beams
an eye soft and clear. The countenance is pleasing and expressive; the
well-moulded and regular features present an appearance of repose and
sweet thoughtfulness, which seem to bespeak the inward harmony of a
well-balanced mind--the full, but not too prominent, lip ready to
break into a smile. She appears, indeed, to have been gifted with that
singular attractiveness, which in its compelling persuasiveness acts
as a magnet. Some countenances there are which the thoughts and
affections of years have carved and moulded into a beauty which
reveals the heart to be full of human tenderness. Such were the
Sidneys. Mary closely resembled her brother, not only in mind, but
also in feature. Spenser speaks of her as
The gentlest shepherdess that lives this day,
And most resembling both in shape and spright
Her brother dear.
It is not the lapse of time only that has cast a halo over this
interesting pair. The most extravagant applause came from their
contemporaries. Though some incidents of the life of Sidney himself
reveal a hastiness of temper which show him to have been very far from
perfection, he had at the same time such an equable combination of
that nameless attractiveness of manner, which, with his virtues and
attainments, made him admired and loved with an almost unequalled
warmth, devotion, and constancy. While it has been said of Sidney
that his "intemperance" (or hastiness) was the sole defect in his
character, we do not find such a blemish in his sister. Beauty of
feature and grace of manner did not in Mary Sidney complete the charm
of contact, but only mirrored the indwelling soul, whence radiated
The sweet, attractive kind of grace,
A full assurance given by looks,
Continual comfort in a face,
The lineaments of Gospel books.
Before Mary Sidney was twenty years of age her hand was sought in
marriage by Henry Herbert, Earl of Pembroke, to whom she was married
in the year 1576. This match afforded considerable satisfaction to her
father, as we see from a letter by him to his kinsman, the Earl of
Leicester, whose good offices he was obliged to ask for the purpose of
raising a dowry for his daughter. This letter rather painfully reminds
us that it is not always the most deserving who, even in high places,
receive their deserts. A servant less conscientious and faithful than
Sir Henry would have found means of making his claims known, and would
not have been allowed to endure the privations of poverty. After
referring to the pleasure which the alliance would afford him, he
says: "I have so joyfully at heart this happy advancement of my child
that I would lie a year in prison rather than it should break. But,
alas! my dearest lord, mine ability answereth not my hearty desire. I
am poor; mine estate, as well in livelod and movable, is not unknown
to your lordship, which wanteth much to make me able to equal that
which I know my Lord of Pembroke may have. Two thousand pounds, I
confess, I have bequeathed her, which your lordship knoweth I might
better spare her when I were dead than one thousand living; and, in
troth, my Lord, I have it not; but borrow it I must, and I will: and
if your Lordship will get me leave, that I may feed my eyes with that
joyful sight of their coupling, I will give her a cup worth five
hundred pounds. Good, my Lord, bear with my poverty; for, if I had it,
little would I regret any sum of my own, but would willingly give it,
protesting before Almighty God, that if He and all the powers on earth
would give me my choice for a husband for her, I would choose the Earl
of Pembroke."
The Earl of Leicester very generously provided his young kinswoman
with a handsome dowry, and, the desired marriage taking place, Wilton
House, the seat of the Pembrokes, thenceforth became the principal
home of the young Countess.
The life of Mary Sidney had hitherto been one of influence rather than
event. Her marriage did not tend to alter its character, so much as to
widen its circle and extend its sphere. Exemplary and dutiful as a
daughter, loving and helpful as a sister, she could hardly fail to be
a devoted and faithful wife. Although her rank entitled her to a
prominent place at Court, where she was ever a favourite, her
inclination and tastes led her to prefer the retirement of the study,
and the society of the learned rather than the great. If history is
silent as to a large portion of her life, we may be sure it is a
silence which speaks of "duties well performed and days well spent."
On the return of Mr. Philip Sidney from the Continent, in 1577, he
made it one of his first duties to pay a visit to his sister in her
new home, before entering more fully into public life, which his
station and family interests demanded. It is, however, in his
character as a scholar and patron of letters that he will be the most
lovingly remembered. The friend of Raleigh, Spenser, Dyer, and others
of not much less renown, it has been also said of him that "there was
not a cunning painter, a skilful engineer, an excellent musician or
any other artificer of extraordinary fame, that did not make himself
known to this famous spirit, and found in him his true friend without
hire."
A temporary retirement of Mr. Philip Sidney from Court in the year
1580, has been assigned to different causes. During the previous year
the Duke of Anjou had so far pressed his suit for the hand of
Elizabeth that she had shown an inclination to accept it. Opinions at
Court were divided on the subject. Mr. Sidney, amongst others, was
decidedly opposed to the alliance, as being likely to endanger the
religious and civil liberty of the country. He had even the boldness
to address to the Queen a strong, though courteous and elegant,
remonstrance. To this some have attributed the fact that the
negotiations for the match were broken off. It has been said that this
action of Sidney did not give the smallest offence to the Queen; and
that the reason for his subsequent early retirement is to be found in
his quarrel with the Earl of Oxford. Others have fixed an earlier date
for the last-named event, and trace the removal from Court to the
resentment of the Queen at Sidney's interference with her proposed
marriage. Whether Elizabeth openly resented the conduct of Sidney or
not, she was hardly likely to forget it. The probability seems to be
that the letter would arouse the secret indignation of the Queen,
which only waited a suitable opportunity for showing itself. The
opportunity arose for the Royal favour to be for a time withdrawn on
the occasion of a misunderstanding between Sidney and the Earl of
Oxford. In the early part of the last-mentioned year, however, Sidney
retired from the Court, going to reside at the seat of his
brother-in-law, the Earl of Pembroke. Here he regained the society of
his beloved and like-minded sister; their happy intercourse was
renewed, and mutual help afforded. In the solitudes of the Wilton
Woods, at this time, their joint literary work was planned, and in
great part performed. The extent of their mutual aid, and the exact
part performed by each, will never be known. Although the whole of the
beautiful romance, _The Arcadia_, is attributed to Philip, it is
certain that his sister had no insignificant part in advising and
directing it, so much so that he gave to it the name of "The Countess
of Pembroke's Arcadia." The introduction is a pleasing record of their
loving devotion and a testimony of fraternal gratitude:--
"TO MY DEAR LADY AND SISTER, THE COUNTESS OF PEMBROKE. Here have
you now, most dear, and most worthy to be most dear, Lady, this
idle work of mine, which I fear, like a spider's web, will be
thought fitter to be swept away than worn to any other purpose.
For my part, in very truth, as the cruel fathers among the Greeks
were wont to do to the babes they would not foster, I could well
find in my heart to cast out in some desert of forgetfulness this
child, which I am loath to father. But you desire me to do so; and
your desire to my heart is an absolute commandment. Now it is done
only for you, only to you. If you keep it to yourself, or to some
friends who will weigh errors in the balance of goodwill, I hope
for the father's sake it will be pardoned, perchance made much of,
though in itself it have deformities; however, indeed for severer
eyes it is not, being but a trifle, and that triflingly handled.
Your dear self can best witness the manner, being done in loose
sheets of paper, most of it in your presence, the rest by sheets
sent to you as fast as they were done.... Read it, then, at your
idle times, and the follies your good judgment will find in it
blame not, but laugh at; and so, looking for no better stuff than,
as in a haberdasher's shop, glasses or feathers, you will continue
to love the writer, who doth exceedingly love you, and most, most
heartily prays you may long live to be a principal ornament to the
family of the Sidneys.
Your loving Brother,