I went to school, like any lad,
And learned to read and write:
With pencil, books and writing-pad
I grew quite erudite.
Promoted soon, my Teacher thought
I would some day, be great;
And so painstakingly he taught
Me how to conjugate.
And talked to me about the Moon,
Of Venus, Saturn, Mars,
Till I was rated, very soon,
Authority on Stars.
A graduate, I searched the skies
For orbs unknown before,
Determined that I'd specialize
In Astronomic lore:
But how to buy a telescope
And all the charts required?
An _attick_ was my only hope
Of all the things desired:
And so I compromised and bought
Binoculars and case,
And ev'ry night the Stars I sought
At Daly's Burlesque Place.
The one, bright, meteoric Flame
In all that stellar group,
Soon _fell for me_; then took my name
And quit the Burlesque Troupe.
But I'm eclipsed! the Satellite
That twinkles in the crib,
Keeps Mother _pinning_, day and night,
A didy or a bib.