The Parson tied the Hymen knot
That made two halves a whole;
The while a speculating what
Would be his marriage toll.
The Groom, when he had kissed the Bride,
Was taken with the chills:
Her icy lips could not abide
Osculatory thrills.
But soon his fever was effaced;
His hand obeyed his will,
And in the Parson's palm he placed
A soiled One Dollar Bill.
"Anathema!" the preacher cried,--
"Thou reptile of the Earth!"
The Groom replied--"Then take the Bride!
I think it's all she's worth!"
"DANSER SUR UN VULCAN"
Now goeth forth the Swell elite,
With patent leathers on his feet;
With collar spotless, cuffs to suit,
In truth bon-ton, from hat to boot.
A bootblack, with an eye to biz,
With dirty hands and ugly phiz,
Beholds him as he goes, and throws
Banana peels beneath his toes.
Along the pave Adonis trips;
He steps upon the peel, and slips
Into the juicy gutter:
His eyes are filled with fire and ire,
But water, muck and mire conspire
To drown the words he'd utter.