(_A long way after Lord Tennyson._)
["Lord WOLMER ... pointed out that Mr. GLADSTONE'S majority of forty
would be wiped out if the 'paid mercenaries' of the Irish-American
factions were withdrawn, or were even unable to keep up a steady
attendance in the House of Commons."--_The Times._
"The proposed Bill to Provide for the Payment of Members of Parliament
... is a bold attempt to transfer to the tax-payers of Great Britain
the burden of supporting at Westminster the Irish Nationalist
Members."--_Ibid._]
Glory of Irishman, glory of orator, going it strong,
Paid by his countrymen's mites from across the Atlantic Sea--
Glory of PAT, to spout, to struggle, right Ireland's old wrong!
Nay, but they aim not at glory, or Home Rule (swears WOLMER, swears
he):
Give 'em the glory of living on _us_ and our L. S. D.!
The wages of swells are high; if high wage to a Minister's just.
Shall we have the heart low wages to hard-worked M.P.'s to deny?
_Mercenaries?_ What then are those toffs in high places of trust,
Who live on our golden largess? Will WOLMER inform us just why
We _may_ give wages to Wealth, and _not_ unto Poverty?
* * * * *
"Down Among the Dead Men."
_Ebriosus loquitur_:--
Silly spook-hunters show a wish to learn
If (_hic!_) departed spiritsh e'er return!
_Did_ they, I should not have so dry a throttle,
Nor would it cost so mush to--passh the bottle!
Thersh no returning (_hic!_) of Spiritsh fled,
And (_hic!_) "dead men"--_worsh luck!_--continue dead!
* * * * *
WANTED BADLY.--A "close time" for Autograph-hunting. Alas! the great--and
even the not-so-very-great--are "made game of" all the year round.
* * * * *
[Illustration: PUTTING IT PLEASANTLY!