It was Christmas in the year 200,000 B.C. It is true that it was not
called Christmas then--our ancestors at that date were not much given
to the celebration of religious festivals--but, taking the Gregorian
calendar and counting backward just 200,000 plus 1887 years this
particular day would be located. There was no formal celebration, but,
nevertheless, a good deal was going on in the neighborhood of the home
of Fangs. Names were not common at the time mentioned, but the more
advanced of the cave-dwellers had them. Man had so far advanced that
only traces of his ape origin remained, and he had begun to have a
language. It was a queer "clucking" sort of language, something like
that of the Bushmen, the low type of man yet to be found in Africa, and
it was not very useful in the expression of ideas, but then primitive
man didn't have many ideas to express. Names, so far as used, were at
this time derived merely from some personal quality or peculiarity.
Fangs was so called because of his huge teeth. His mate was called She
Fox; his daughter, not Nellie, nor Jennie, nor Mamie--young ladies did
not affect the "ie" then--but Red Lips. She was, for the age,
remarkably pretty and refined. She could cast eyes which told a story at
a suitor, and there were several kinds of snake she would not eat. She
was a merry, energetic girl, and was the most useful member of the
family in tree-climbing. She was an only child and rather petted. Her
father or mother rarely knocked her down with a very heavy club when
angry, and after her fourteenth year rarely assaulted her at all. So far
as She Fox was concerned, this kindness largely resulted from
discretion, the daughter having in the last encounter so belabored the
mother that she was laid up for a week. The father abstained chiefly
because the daughter had become useful. Red Lips was now eighteen.
Fangs was a cave-dweller. His home was sumptuously furnished. The floor
of the cave was strewn with dry grass, something that in most other
caves was lacking. Fangs was a prominent citizen. He was one of the
strongest men in the valley. He had killed Red Beard, another prominent
citizen, in a little dispute over priority of right to possession of a
dead mastodon discovered in a swamp, and had for years been the terror
of every cave man in the region who possessed anything worth taking.
On this particular morning, which would have been Christmas morning had
it not come too early in the world's history, Fangs left the cave after
eating the whole of a water-fowl he had killed with a stone the night
before and some half dozen field mice which his wife had brought in. She
Fox and Red Lips had for breakfast only the bones of the duck and some
roots dug in the forest. Fangs carried with him a huge club, and in a
rough pouch made of the skin of some small wild animal a collection of
stones of convenient size for throwing. This was before man had invented
the bow or even the crude stone ax. He came back in a surly mood because
he had found nothing and killed nothing, but he brought a companion with
him. This companion, whom he had met in the woods, was known as Wolf,
because his countenance reminded one of a wolf. He could hardly be
called a gentleman, even as times and terms went then. He was evidently
not of an old family, for he possessed something more than a rudimentary
tail, and, had his face looked less like that of a wolf, it would have
been that of a baboon. He was hairy, and his speech of rough gutturals
was imperfect. He could pronounce but few words. He was, however, very
strong, and Fangs rather liked him.
What Fangs did when he came in was to propose a matrimonial alliance.
That is, he grasped his daughter by the arm and led her up to Wolf, and
then pointing to an abandoned cave in the hillside not far distant,
pushed them toward it. They did not have marriage ceremonies 200,000
B.C. Wolf, who had evidently been informed of Fangs's desire and who was
himself in favor of the alliance, seized the girl and began dragging
her off to the new home and the honeymoon. She resisted, and shrieked,
and clawed like a wild-cat. Her mother, She Fox, came running out, club
in hand, but was promptly knocked down by Fangs, who then dragged her
into the cave again. Meanwhile the bridegroom was hauling the bride away
through furze and bushes at a rapid rate. Red Lips had ceased to
struggle, and was thinking. Her thoughts were not very well defined nor
clear, but one thing she knew well--she did not want to live in a cave
with Wolf. She had a fancy that she would prefer to live instead with
Yellow Hair, a young cave man who had not yet selected a mate, and who
was remarkably fleet of foot. They were now very near the cave, and she
knew that unless she exerted herself housekeeping would begin within a
very few moments. Wolf was strong, but slow of movement. Red Lips was
only less swift than Yellow Hair. An idea occurred to her. She bent her
head and buried her strong teeth deep in the wrist of the man who was
half-carrying, half-dragging her through the underwood.
With a howl which justified his name, Wolf for an instant released his
hold. That instant allowed the girl's escape. She leaped away like a
deer and darted into the forest. Yelling with pain and rage, Wolf
pursued her. She gained on him steadily as she ran, but there was a
light snow upon the ground, and she could be followed by the trail
which her pursuer took up doggedly and determinedly. He knew that he
could tire her out and catch her in time. He solaced himself for her
temporary escape by thinking, as he ran, how fiercely he would beat his
bride before starting for the cave again, and as he thought his teeth
showed like those of a dog of to-day.
The chase lasted for hours, and Red Lips had gained perhaps a mile upon
her pursuer when her strength began to flag. The pace was telling upon
her. She had run many miles. She was almost hopeless of escape when she
emerged into a little glade, where sat a man gnawing contentedly at a
raw rabbit. He leaped to his feet as the girl appeared, but a moment
later recognized her and smiled. The man was Yellow Hair. He reached out
part of the rabbit he was devouring, and Red Lips, whose breakfast had,
as already mentioned, been a light one, tore at it and consumed it in a
moment. Then she told of what had happened.
"We will kill Wolf, and you shall live with me," said Yellow Hair.
Red Lips assented eagerly, and the two consulted together. Near them was
a hill, one side of which was a precipice. At the base of the precipice
ran a path. The result of the consultation was that Yellow Hair left the
girl, and making a swift circuit, came upon the precipice from the
farther side, and crouched low upon its summit. The girl ran along the
path at the bottom of the declivity for some distance, then, entering a
defile which crossed it at right angles, herself made a turn, climbed
the hill and joined Yellow Hair. From where they were lying they could
see the glade they had just left.
Wolf entered the glade, and noted where the footsteps of the girl and
those of a man came together. For a moment or two he appeared troubled
and suspicious; then his face cleared. He saw that the tracks had
diverged again. He had recognized the man's tracks as those of Yellow
Hair.
"Yellow Hair is afraid of my strong arm," he thought. "He dare not stay
with Red Lips. I shall catch her soon and beat her and take her with
me."
The two crouching upon the precipice watched his every movement. They
had rolled to the edge of the declivity a rock as huge as they could
control, and now together held it poised over the pathway. Wolf came
hurrying along, his head bent down like that of a hound on the scent of
game. He reached a spot just beneath the two, and then with a sudden
united effort they shoved over the rock. It thundered down upon the
unfortunate Wolf with an accuracy which spoke well for the eyes and
hands of the lovers. The man was crushed horribly. The two above
scrambled down, laughing, and Yellow Hair took from the dead Wolf a
necklace of claws and fastened it proudly upon his own person.
"Now we will go to my cave," said he.
"No," said Red Lips; "my father will look for Wolf to-morrow, and will
find him. Then he will come and kill us. We must go and kill him
to-night."
"Yes," said Yellow Hair.
Hand in hand the two started for the cave of Fangs. The side hill in
which it was situated was very steep, and the lovers thought they could
duplicate the affair with Wolf. "We must cripple him, anyway," said
Yellow Hair, "for I am not strong enough to fight him alone. His club is
heavy."
They reached the vicinity of the cave and crept above it. Having, with
great difficulty, secured a rock in position to be rolled down, they
waited for Fangs to appear. He came out about dusk, and stretched out
his arms lazily, when the two above released the rock. It rolled down
swiftly and with great force, but there was no such sheer drop afforded
as when Wolf was killed, and Fangs heard the stone coming and almost
eluded it. It caught one of his legs, as he tried to leap aside, and
broke it. Fangs fell to the ground.
With a yell of triumph Yellow Hair bounded to where the crippled man lay
and began pounding him upon the head with his club. Fangs had a very
thick head. He struggled vigorously, and succeeded in catching Yellow
Hair by the wrist. Then he drew the younger man to him and began to
throttle him. The case of Yellow Hair was desperate. Fangs's great
strength was too much for him. His stifled yells told of his agony.
It was at this juncture that Red Lips demonstrated her quality as a girl
of decision and of action. A sharp fragment of slate, several pounds in
weight, lay at her feet. She seized it and bounded forward to where the
struggle was going on. The back of Fangs's head was fairly exposed. The
girl brought down the sharp stone upon it just where the head and spinal
column joined, and the crashing thud told of the force of the blow.
Delivered with such strength upon such a spot there could be but one
result. The man could not have been killed more quickly. Yellow Hair
released himself from the dead giant's embrace and rose to his feet.
Then, after a short breathing time, to make assurance sure, he picked up
his club and battered the head of Fangs until there could be no chance
of his resuscitation. The performance was unnecessary, but neither
Yellow Hair nor Red Lips was aware of the fact. Their knowledge of
anatomy was limited. Neither knew the effect of such a blow delivered
properly at the base of the brain.
Yellow Hair finally ceased his exercise and rested on his club. "Shall
we go to my cave now?" said he.
"Why should we?" said Red Lips. "Let us take this cave. There is dry
grass on the floor."
They entered the cave. She Fox, who had witnessed what had occurred,
sat in one corner, and looked up doubtfully as they entered. "I am
tired," said Yellow Hair, and he laid himself down and went to sleep.
She Fox looked at her daughter. "I killed three hedgehogs to-day," she
whispered.
The new mistress of the cave looked at her kindly. "Go out and dig some
roots," she said, "and come back with them, and then with them and the
hedgehogs we will have a feast."
She Fox went out and returned in an hour with roots and nuts. Red Lips
awakened Yellow Hair, and all three fed ravenously and merrily. It was a
great occasion in the cave of the late Fangs. There was no such
Christmas feast, at the same time a wedding feast, in any other cave in
all the region. And the sequel to the events of the day was as happy as
the day itself. Yellow Hair and Red Lips somehow avoided being killed,
and grew old together, and left a numerous progeny.