I dreamt that I ran, swept through the air. I flew with my little knife
in my hand. And the moon looked at me and said:
"Catch him, beat him. He is a thief--a thief."
* * *
A long, long sleep, and a heavy, a very heavy dream. A fire burnt within
me. My head was buzzing. Everything I saw was red as blood. Burning rods
of fire cut into my flesh. I was swimming in blood. Around me wriggled
snakes and serpents. They had their mouths open, ready to swallow me.
Right into my ears some one was blowing a trumpet. And, some one was
standing over me, and shouting, keeping time with the trumpet: "Whip
him, whip him, whip him. He is a thie--ef." And I myself shouted: "Oh,
oh, take the moon away from me. Give her up the little knife. What have
you against poor Berrel? He is not guilty. It is I who am a thief--a
thief."
Beyond that, I remember nothing.
* * *
I opened one eye, then the other. Where was I? On a bed, I think. Ah, is
that you, mother, mother? She does not hear me. Mother, mother,
mo--o--other! What is this? I imagine I am shouting aloud. Shah! I
listen. She is weeping silently. I also see my father, with his yellow,
sickly face. He is sitting near me, an open book in his hand. He reads,
and sighs, and coughs and groans. It seems that I am dead already.
Dead?... All at once, I feel that it is growing brighter before my eyes.
Everything is growing lighter, too. My head and my limbs are lighter.
There is a ringing in my ear, and in my other ear. Tschinna! I sneezed.
Akhstchu!
"Good health! May your days be lengthened! May your years be prolonged!
It is a good sign. Blessed art Thou, O Lord!"
"Sneezed in reality? Blessed be the Most High!"
"Let us call at once Mintze the butcher's wife. She knows how to avert
the evil eye."
"The doctor ought to be called--the doctor."
"The doctor? What for? That is nonsense. The Most High is the best
doctor. Blessed be the Lord, and praised be His Name!"
"Go asunder, people. Separate a bit. It is terribly hot. In the name of
God, go away."
"Ah, yes. I told you that you have to cover him with wax. Well, who is
right?"
"Praise be the Lord, and blessed be His Holy Name! Ah, God! God! Blessed
be the Lord! and praised be His Holy Name!"
They fluttered about me. They looked at me. Each one came and felt my
head. They prayed over me, and buzzed around me. They licked my
forehead, and spat out, by way of a charm. They poured hot soup down my
throat, and filled my mouth with spoonfuls of preserves. Every one flew
around me. They cared for me as if I were the apple of their eye. They
fed me with broths and tiny chickens, as if I were an infant. They did
not leave me alone. My mother sat by me always, and told me over and
over again the whole story of how they had lifted me up from the ground,
almost dead, and how I had been lying for two weeks on end, burning like
a fire, croaking like a frog, and muttering something about whippings
and little knives. They already imagined I was dead, when suddenly I
sneezed seven times. I had practically come to life again.
"Now we see what a great God we have, blessed be He, and praised be His
Name!" That was how my mother ended up, the tears springing to her eyes.
"Now we can see that when we call to Him He listens to our sinful
requests and our guilty tears. We shed a lot, a lot of tears, your
father and I, until the Lord had pity on us.... We nearly, nearly lost
our child through our sinfulness. May we suffer in your stead! And
through what? Through a boy who was a thief, a certain Berrel whom the
teacher flogged at '_Cheder_,' almost until he bled. When you came home
from '_Cheder_' you were more dead than alive. May your mother suffer
instead of you! The teacher is a tyrant, a murderer. The Lord will
punish him for it--the Lord of the Universe. No, my child, if the Lord
lets us live, when you get well, we will send you to another teacher,
not to such a tyrant as is the 'Angel of Death,'--may his name be
blotted out for ever!"
These words made a terrible impression on me. I threw my arms around my
mother, and kissed her.
"Dear, dear mother."
And my father came over to me softly. He put his cold, white hand on my
forehead, and said to me kindly, without a trace of anger:
"Oh, how you frightened us, you heathen you! Tkeh-heh-heh-heh!"
Also the Jewish German, or the German Jew, Herr Hertz Hertzenhertz, his
cigar between his teeth, bent down and touched my cheek, with his
clean-shaven chin. He said to me in German:
"Good! Good! Be well--be well!"
* * *
A few weeks after I got out of bed, my father said to me:
"Well, my son, now go to '_Cheder_,' and never think of little knives
again, or other such nonsense. It is time you began to be a bit of a
man. If it please God, you will be '_Bar-Mitzvah_' in three years--may
you live to a hundred and twenty. Tkeh-heh-heh!"
With such sweet words did my father send me off to "_Cheder_," to my new
teacher, "_Reb_" Chayim Kotter. It was the first time that I had heard
such good kind words from my father. And I forgot, in a moment, all his
harshness, and all his abuse, and all his blows. It was as if they had
never existed in the world. If I were not ashamed, I would have thrown
my arms about his neck, and kissed him. But how can one kiss a father?
Ha! ha! ha!
My mother gave me a whole apple and three "_groschens_" to take to
"_Cheder_," and the German gave me a few "_kopeks_." He pinched my
cheek, and said in his language:
"Best boy, good, good!"
I took my "_Gemarra_" under my arm, kissed the "_Mezuzah_," and went off
to "_Cheder_" like one newly born, with a clean heart, and fresh, pious
thoughts. The sun looked down, and greeted me with its warm rays. The
little breeze stole in under one of my earlocks. The birds
twittered--Tif--tif--tif--tif! I was lifted up. I was borne on the
breeze. I wanted to run, jump, dance. Oh, how good it is--how sweet to
be alive and to be honest, when one is not a thief and not a liar.
I pressed my "_Gemarra_" tightly to my breast, and still tighter. I ran
to "_Cheder_" with pleasure, with joy. And I swore by my "_Gemarra_"
that I would never, never touch what belonged to another--never, never
steal, and never, never deny anything again. I would always be honest,
for ever and ever honest.