One afternoon in the reading-room she found two notices of her book; one
was in _Hearth and Home_, the other in _The Lutheran Observer_; the
former ran in this style:
"'Under the Wings' by Theresa Louise Wadsworth is the most lifelike
representation of a genuine live boy that we have seen for many a day.
We are almost tempted to think that the author was once a boy herself
she is so heartily in sympathy with a boy's thoughts and feelings. It is
a book that every boy ought to read, and we are confident that no boy
can read it without being bettered by it."
The other she was more pleased with:
"Rob is a genuine boy, with all manner of faults and pranks; but a
tender, truthful heart, and a determination for the right that brings
him through safely. But specially is he delightful in juxtaposition with
Nell, a little girl who says the quaintest things in the most laughable,
most lovable manner. Altogether it is a thoroughly enjoyable book, sweet
and saintly, too; though not saintly after the cut and dried style of
youthful piety."
She turned the papers with a startled face as if the lady in the black
cloak near her had guessed what she had looked for and had found; as if
the blonde mustache hidden behind Emerson surmised that she had written
a book and wondered why she had not attempted something deeper; as if
Mr. Lewis Gesner reading a newspaper with his forehead puckered into a
frown knew that she was slightly a blue-stocking, and decided that she
might better be learning how to be a good wife for somebody.
"I _am_ commonplace," she soliloquized, running down the long flight of
stairs; "ten years ago when my heroines were Rosalie and Viola, and
their lovers bandits or princes in disguise, who would have believed
that I could have settled down into writing good books for good little
children?"
That evening Mr. Hammerton took from his memorandum book three square
inches of printed matter, neatly and exactly folded, and dropped it into
her hand.
"There's a feather in your cap, Lady Blue; it is plucked from the
_Evening Mail_."
She read it, by the light of the shaded lamp, standing at the
sitting-room table. Mrs. Wadsworth looked up from her work, regarding
her curiously; Tessa did not observe the expression of pride and love
that flitted across her face. Mrs. Wadsworth loved Tessa more than she
loved any other human being; indeed, with all her capacity for loving;
but Tessa would never discover it. Mrs. Wadsworth was not aware of it,
herself; Mr. Wadsworth saw it and was glad. Tessa read eagerly:
"'Under the Wings' is the title of an excellent book by Theresa Louise
Wadsworth issued in neat form by----. The characters of the boyish
hero--wilful, merry, irreverent, honest, and bold, and the heroine--happy,
serious, inquiring, and lovable, are drawn with no mean skill, while the
other personages, the kind and pious grandmother, the snappish, but
well-meaning mother, the deacon, and others, are sketched with scarcely
less truth and vividness. The development of the Christian faith in the
soul of wild Rob is traced easily and naturally, the incidents are
numerous and interesting; the whole movement of the story is in helpful
sympathy with human hearts."
"What is it, daughter?" inquired her father arranging the chess-men.
"She is modest as well as famous. I will read it," said Mr. Hammerton,
"and here's your letter from Dine; I knew that that would insure my
welcome. Do you know, I forgot to inquire for myself? I never did such a
thing before. Father will go to the mail, however."
Moving apart from the group, she ran through the long letter; coloring
and biting her lips as she read. Mrs. Wadsworth's little rocker was
drawn to the table; the light from the tall lamp fell over her face and
hair, touching her hands and her work; the low, white forehead, the wavy
hair, the pretty lips and chin were pleasant to look upon; when she was
in a happy state of mind, this little lady was altogether kissable.
"What does Dine say?" she asked.
"Not much. No news," stammered Tessa.
"Hurry then and let me read it."
"Excuse me, it is purely confidential, every vestige to be consigned to
the flames. You are to have a letter in a day or two."
Mr. Hammerton gave her a quick glance and moved his queen into check.
She took the letter into the parlor for a second perusal.
"Oh, Tessa, my dear, big, wise sister, I've got something to tell you.
What should I do if I hadn't somebody to tell? At first I thought I
wouldn't tell you or any body, and then I knew I must. Norah knows, but
she will never tell. She does not know about Gus. I have never told
that, but she knows about my wonderful John! I don't know how to begin
either; I guess I will begin in the middle; all the blanks your own
imagination must fill. You know all about John; I've told you enough if
your head isn't too full of literary stuff to hold common affairs; _I'm
in love_ and he is, too, of course. I should not be if he were not. I
mean I should not tell of it if he were not. I'm glad that you are not
the kind of elder sister that can't be told such things, for I could not
tell mother, and I would not dare tell dear, old father. Not that it is
so dreadful to be in love, even if I have known him but seven weeks
to-night; I fell in love with him the instant he raised his eyes and
took hold of my hand. Living under the same roof and eating together
three times a day (he eats so nicely), and ciphering and studying and
reading together, and going to church and prayer-meeting and
singing-school together, make the time seem ten times as long and give
twenty times as many opportunities of falling in love decorously as I
could have found in Dunellen in a year! But I am not apologizing for
_that_. It's too delightfully delicious to have a _real_ lover! Not that
he has asked me _yet_! I wouldn't have him do it for any thing; it would
spoil it all. But we both knew it as Adam and Eve knew it! Now the
dreadfulness of it is that I have no right to do such a thing. I came
here believing that I was lawfully and forever engaged to dear old Gus,
spectacles, chess-board, dictionary and all. Not that _he_ ever said a
word to _me_! Don't you know one night I told you that I had a secret?
How glad I was of it then! I couldn't sleep that night and for days I
felt dizzy; for Gus had been my hero ever since he told me stories when
I was a wee child. And so of course I thought I _loved_ him. What is
love, anyway? Who knows? That secret was this: I heard dear, old, wise
Gus tell father that he loved _me_ (just think, _me!_) and that he was
waiting for me to love him, dear, old boy! He would not try to make me
love him, he wanted it to come naturally; he would not speak to me or
urge me, he wanted to find me loving him and then he would ask me to
give him what belonged to him. Wasn't it touching? I didn't know that he
could be so lover-like. I didn't know that he ever would love anybody
because he always talks books and politics and only made fun when I told
him news about the girls. How could I help loving him when I knew that
he loved me. Isn't that enough to make anybody love anybody?
"Just as soon as I saw my wonderful John, then I knew that I did not
love Gus, that I never had loved him, that I never _could_ love him. No,
not to the end of time. If I had married him, I suppose that I should
have been satisfied and thought I was as happy as I could be--I don't
know, though. He was wise to let me wait and have a choice: it is cruel
to ask girls before they have seen some one else; we do not know what we
do want until we see it--or him. I am writing at the sitting-room table;
John has not come home from the mail; Aunt Tessa knits a long, blue
stocking and Uncle Knox is asleep with the big white and black cat on
his knees.
"I never could stay here but for John and Miss Towne. I have told _her_
about John; she likes John. Every one does.
"I want you to see my knight; he is not tall, he is broad-shouldered,
with the loveliest complexion and blonde mustache, blue eyes, shining
blue eyes, and auburn curly hair! that is, _rather_ auburn; I think it
is more like reddish gold. I wish that you could hear him talk about
making life a glorious success. He makes me feel brave and strong. Oh,
isn't it a beautiful thing to live and have some one love you! I wish
that you loved somebody; I do not like to be so happy and have you
standing out in the cold. John thinks that _you_ are wonderful; I tell
him that he will forget me when he has heard you talk.
"Wise old Gus is a thousand miles over my head when he talks to me, but
John walks by my side and speaks the thoughts that I have been thinking,
only in so much more beautiful language; and he likes all the books I
like, and my favorite poems and hymns. How will you break it to Gus? He
must be told. He wrote to me two weeks ago, a long, interesting letter
all about Dunellen news, which I haven't dared answer yet. I suppose I
must. I showed it to John; he asked how old he was, and now he calls him
'The Venerable.' He must not keep on thinking about me, for I never,
never can like him, even if I never marry John. Do break it to him in
some easy, _pleasant_ way; he will never imagine that _you_ know that he
likes _me_. He never showed it any, I am sure. I always thought that it
was you, and mother thinks so; I heard her telling father.
"Be sure to write immediately, for I am as unhappy as I can be. And be
sure to tell me what he says and how he takes it. Mary Sherwood wrote me
that Sue told her that she and Dr. Lake had awful quarrels, and that
once they didn't speak to each other for three days only in her father's
presence. I never could quarrel with John. There he comes. I'll be
writing when he comes in and not look up, and then he will come behind
my chair and touch my curls when auntie isn't looking.
"Write soon. Your ever loving Dine.
"P.S.--John calls me Di: he doesn't like _Dine_."
Crumbling the letter in both hands, she laid it upon the coals; then she
stood with one foot on the fender, leaning forward with her forehead
upon the mantel, thinking, thinking. Before she was aware the door was
opened and some one came behind her and put both arms around her.
"Is any thing the matter with Dine?"
"Oh, no," shaking herself loose from his arms and creeping out of them.
He pushed the ottoman nearer and seated himself upon the parrot and the
roses; she stood on the edge of the rug, with her arms folded across her
breast to keep herself quiet; how could she tell him the truth? He was
not a boy to laugh and cry and fling it off; he had loved Dine as long
as Felix Harrison had loved _her_! He would take it quietly enough; she
had no dread of an outburst; it might be that Dine's silence in regard
to his letter had been a preparation; surely every hard thing that came
had its preparation; the heavy blow was never sent before the word of
warning.
"She is not sick?" he asked.
"Sick!" She lingered over the word as if help would come before it were
ended. "Oh, no, she is well and happy."
"Does she write you secrets?"
"She always tells me her secrets."
"Has any phenomenon occurred?"
"It isn't a phenomenon; it is something as old as Eve and as new as
Dinah. She thinks she has found her Adam."
"Ah!" in a constrained voice.
She saw nothing but the fire; the long poker was laid across the fender,
a handful of ashes had fallen through the grate. "Such things have to
come, like the measles and mumps; I did hope, however, to keep her out
of the contagion. But Mother Nature is wiser than any sister."
"Why is it to be regretted?"
"Because--oh, because, I have learned that one's eyes are always wide
open afterward--they weep much and see clear; one can never be carelessly
happy again; I wanted her to stay a little girl. Selfishly, perhaps. I
thought there was time enough."
"It is settled then--so soon?"
"Nothing is settled, but that two people are in love, or believe
themselves to be. Am I not a cynical elder sister?"
"Is this her first experience?"
"Who can say when a first experience is! Tennyson and moonlight walks
are aggravating at their age." At their age! She felt as old as Miss
Jewett to-night.
"I hope he is worthy of her. She is a jewel."
"She would not love him if he were not," said the elder sister proudly.
"This is a secret?"
"Yes; I know that I can trust you. It will be time enough to tell father
and mother when he brings her home and kneels at their feet for their
blessing."
"Who is he?"
"John Woodstock, the school-master. He has neither father nor mother, he
is beautiful and good, enthusiastic and fascinating."
She had not once lifted her eyes to his face; his fingers had clasped
and unclasped themselves; his voice was not as steady as usual.
"That notice was a very pretty puff, Lady Blue."
"Yes, I like it I will paste it into my notebook."
"Is that all you have seen?"
"No, I saw two in the reading-room, but I like this better."
"Are you writing now?"
"Yes."
"You are not on the lookout for Adam."
"No. I will write and he shall search for me. Haven't you heard of that
bird in Africa, which if you hunt for him, you can not find, but if you
stay at home, he will come to you?"
He had risen and stood in his usual uneasy fashion. "My congratulations
to Dine."
"I will tell her."
He lingered on the hearth-rug, then at the door with his hand upon the
knob.
"Good night. I shall be busy for a week or two; do not expect to see
me."
"You will come when you can?"
"Certainly." He went out and closed the door.
She stood in the same position with her arms folded for the next half
hour. How could Dine know what love was? How could she give up a man
like Gus Hammerton for a light-haired boy who talked of making life a
glorious success? He had his heartache now; it had come at last after
all his years of watching Dine growing up: and no one could help him, he
must fight it out alone; she remembered what he had said about quoting
from a book for Dr. Lake. What "book man" could help him to-night? Would
he open a book or fall upon his knees?
Was _he_ sorrowful to-night too, Ralph Towne? How gentle he had been
with her and how patient! They had met several times since; once, in his
mother's presence, when he had spoken to her as easily as usual; at
other times in the street; he had lifted his hat and passed on; the one
glimpse of his eyes had been to reveal them very dark and very stern.
She could hear Mr. Hammerton's voice calling back to her father from the
gate; they both laughed and then his quick tramp sounded on the planks.
The tramp kept on and on for hours; the moon arose late; he walked out
into the country, now tramping along the wayside and now in the road; it
was midnight when he turned his face homeward and something past one
when he silently unlocked the door with his night-key and found his way
to his room. There was a letter there from Dinah; his sister had laid it
on his bureau. It was brief, formal, and ambiguous; she had subscribed
herself "Your young, old friend, D." She did not say that she was glad
of his letter, she did not ask him to write again. "She thinks that she
must not write to me," he thought, "darling little Dine! I would like to
see that John Woodstock!"