The blue sea--the blue sky!--and God's sunshine over all! To this I
woke, after a long period of unconsciousness, and found myself afloat on
a wide ocean, fast bound to a wooden spar. So strongly knotted were my
bonds that I could not stir either hand or foot, ... and after one or
two ineffectual struggles to move I gave up the attempt, and lay
submissively resigned to my fate, face upturned and gazing at the
infinite azure depths above me, while the heaving breath of the sea
rocked me gently to and fro like an infant in its mother's arms. Alone
with God and Nature, I, a poor human wreck, drifted,----lost, yet found!
Lost on this vast sea which soon should serve my body as a sepulchre,
... but found, inasmuch as I was fully conscious of the existence and
awakening of the Immortal Soul within me,--that divine, actual and
imperishable essence, which now I recognised as being all that is
valuable in a man in the sight of his Creator. I was to die, soon and
surely;--this I thought, as the billows swayed me in their huge cradle,
running in foamy ripples across my bound body, and dashing cool spray
upon my brows,--what could I do now, doomed and helpless as I was, to
retrieve my wasted past? Nothing! save repent,--and could repentance at
so late an hour fit the laws of eternal justice? Humbly and sorrowfully
I considered, ... to me had been given a terrific and unprecedented
experience of the awful Reality of the Spirit-world around us,--and now
I was cast out on the sea as a thing worthless, I felt that the brief
time remaining to me of life in this present sphere was indeed my "last
probation," as that Supernatural Wonder, the declared Enemy of mankind,
whom still in my thoughts I called Lucio, had declared.
"If I dared,--after a life's denial and blasphemy,--turn to Christ!" I
said--"Would He,--the Divine Brother and Friend of man,--reject me?"
I whispered the question to the sky and sea, ... solemn silence seemed
to invest the atmosphere, and marvellous calm. No other answer came than
this, ... a deep and charmëd peace, that insensibly stole over my
fretting conscience, my remorseful soul, my aching heart, my tired mind.
I remembered certain words heard long ago, and lightly forgotten. "_Him
who cometh unto Me will I in no wise cast out._" Looking up to the clear
heavens and radiant sun, I smiled; and with a complete abandonment of
myself and my fears to the Divine Will, I murmured the words that in my
stress of mystic agony had so far saved me,--
"God only! Whatsoever He shall choose for me in life, in death, and
after death, is best."
And closing my eyes, I resigned my life to the mercy of the soft waves,
and with the sunbeams warm upon my face, I slept.
* * * * *
* * *
*
I woke again with an icy shudder and cry,--rough cheery voices sounded
in my ears,--strong hands were at work busily unfastening the cords with
which I was bound, ... I was on the deck of a large steamer, surrounded
by a group of men,--and all the glory of the sunset fired the seas.
Questions were poured upon me, ... I could not answer them, for my
tongue was parched and blistered, ... lifted upright upon my feet by
sturdy arms, I could not stand for sheer exhaustion. Dimly, and in
feeble dread I stared around me,----was this great vessel with smoking
funnels and grinding engines another devil's craft set sailing round
the world! Too weak to find a voice I made dumb signs of terrified
inquiry, ... a broad-shouldered bluff-looking man came forward, whose
keen eyes rested on me with kindly compassion.
"This is an English vessel," he said--"We are bound for Southampton. Our
helmsman saw you floating ahead,--we stopped and sent a boat for rescue.
Where were you wrecked? Any more of the crew afloat?"
I gazed at him, but could not speak. The strangest thoughts crowded into
my brain, moving me to wild tears and laughter. England! The word struck
clashing music on my mind, and set all my pulses trembling. England! The
little spot upon the little world, most loved and honoured of all men,
save those who envy its worth! I made some gesture, whether of joy or
mad amazement I know not,----had I been able to speak I could have
related nothing that those men around me could have comprehended or
believed, ... then I sank back again in a dead swoon.
They were very good to me, all those English sailors. The captain gave
me his own cabin,--the ship's doctor attended me with a zeal that was
only exceeded by his curiosity to know where I came from, and the nature
of the disaster that had befallen me. But I remained dumb, and lay inert
and feeble in my berth, grateful for the care bestowed upon me, as well
as for the temporary exhaustion that deprived me of speech. For I had
enough to do with my own thoughts,--thoughts far too solemn and weighty
for utterance. I was saved,--I was given another chance of life in the
world,--and _I knew why_! My one absorbing anxiety now was to retrieve
my wasted time, and to do active good where hitherto I had done nothing!
The day came at last, when I was sufficiently recovered to be able to
sit on deck and watch with eager eyes the approaching coast-line of
England. I seemed to have lived a century since I left it,--aye, almost
an eternity,--for time is what the Soul makes it, and no more. I was an
object of interest and attention among all the passengers on board, for
as yet I had not broken silence. The weather was calm and bright, ...
the sun shone gloriously,--and far off the pearly rim of Shakespeare's
'happy isle' glistened jewel-like upon the edge of the sea. The captain
came and looked at me,--nodded encouragingly,--and after a moment's
hesitation, said--
"Glad to see you out on deck! Almost yourself again, eh?"