Another time, one of the servants, whose_Gulliver's Travels into Several Remote Regions of the World

every third day with fresh water, was so careless as to let a huge frog

(not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay concealed till I

was put into my boat, but then seeing a resting-place, climbed up, and

made it lean so much on one side that I was forced to balance it with

all my weight on the other to prevent overturning. When the frog was got

in, it hopped at once half the length of the boat, and then over my head

backwards and forwards. The largeness of its features made it appear the

most deformed animal that can be conceived. However, I desired

Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it alone. I banged it a good while

with one of my sculls, and at last forced it to leap out of the boat.

But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom was from a

monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen. Glumdalclitch

had locked me up in her closet, while she went somewhere upon business

or a visit. The weather being very warm the closet window was left open,

as well as the windows and the door of my bigger box, in which I usually

lived, because of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat quietly

meditating at my table, I heard something bounce in at the closet

window, and skip about from one side to the other; whereat, although I

was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not stirring from my

seat; and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking and leaping up and

down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to view with

great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every window.

[Illustration]

I retreated to the farther corner of my room or box; but the monkey

looking in at every side, put me into such a fright that I wanted

presence of mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I might easily have

done. After some time spent in peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at

last espied me, and reaching one of his paws in at the door, as a cat

does when she plays with a mouse, although I often shifted place to

avoid him, he at length seized the lappet of my coat (which, being made

of that country silk, was very thick and strong), and dragged me out. He

took me out in his right fore-foot, and held me as a nurse does a child,

just as I have seen the same sort of creature do with a kitten in

Europe: and, when I offered to struggle, he squeezed me so hard that I

thought it more prudent to submit. I have good reason to believe that he

took me for a young one of his own species, by his often stroking my

face very gently with his other paw.

In these diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the closet door, as

if somebody were opening it; whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the

window, at which he had come in, and thence upon the leads and gutters

walking upon three legs, and holding me in the fourth, till he clambered

up to a roof that was next to ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek

at the moment he was carrying me out. The poor girl was almost

distracted. That quarter of the palace was all in an uproar; the

servants ran for ladders; the monkey was seen by hundreds in the court,

sitting upon the ridge of a building, holding me like a baby in one of

his fore-paws: whereat many of the rabble below could not forbear

laughing; neither do I think they justly ought to be blamed, for without

question, the sight was ridiculous enough to everybody but myself. Some

of the people threw up stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this

was strictly forbidden, or else very probably my brains had been dashed

out.

The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men, which the

monkey observing, and finding himself almost encompassed, not being able

to make speed enough with his three legs, let me drop on a ridge tile,

and made his escape. Here I sat for some time, five hundred yards from

the ground, expecting every moment to be blown down by the wind, or to

fall by my own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from the ridge

to the eaves; but an honest lad, one of my nurse's footmen, climbed up,

and putting me into his breeches-pocket, brought me down safe.

I was so weak and bruised in the sides with the squeezes given me by

this odious animal, that I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The

king, queen, and all the court, sent every day to inquire after my

health, and her majesty made me several visits during my sickness. The

monkey was killed, and an order made that no such animal should be kept

about the palace.

When I attended the king, after my recovery, to return him thanks for

his favors, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this adventure.

He asked me what my thoughts and speculations were while I lay in the

monkey's paw. He desired to know what I would have done upon such an

occasion in my own country. I told his majesty that in Europe we had no

monkeys, except such as were brought for curiosities from other places,

and so small, that I could deal with a dozen of them together if they

presumed to attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with whom I was

so lately engaged (it was, indeed, as large as an elephant) if my fears

had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my hanger (looking

fiercely, and clapping my hand upon the hilt, as I spoke) when he poked

his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have given him such a wound as

would have made him glad to withdraw it with more haste than he put it

in. This I delivered in a firm tone, like a person who was jealous lest

his courage should be called in question.

However, my speech produced nothing else besides a loud laughter, which

all the respect due to his majesty from those about him could not make

them contain. This made me reflect how vain an attempt it is for a man

to endeavor to do himself honor among those who are out of all degree of

equality or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my own

behavior very frequent in England since my return, where a little

contemptible varlet,[72] without the least title to birth, person, wit,

or common-sense, shall presume to look with importance, and put himself

upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom.

I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story; and

Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch enough to

inform the queen whenever I committed any folly that she thought would

be diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had been out of order, was

carried by her governess to take the air about an hour's distance, or

thirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach near a small

footpath in a field, and, Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling-box,

I went out of it to walk. There was a pool of mud in the path, and I

must needs try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run,

but unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle up

to my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of the

footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, for I was

filthily bemired; and my nurse confined me to my box till we returned

home, when the queen was soon informed of what had passed, and the

footman spread it about the court; so that all the mirth for some days

was at my expense.

CHAPTER VI.

SEVERAL CONTRIVANCES OF THE AUTHOR TO PLEASE THE KING AND QUEEN. HE

SHOWS HIS SKILL IN MUSIC. THE KING INQUIRES INTO THE STATE OF

ENGLAND, WHICH THE AUTHOR RELATES TO HIM. THE KING'S OBSERVATIONS

THEREON.

I used to attend the king's levee[73] once or twice a week, and had

often seen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first very

terrible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as an

ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the country,

was only shaved twice a week. I once prevailed on the barber to give me

some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the

strongest stumps of hair, I then took a piece of fine wood and cut it

like the back of a comb, making several holes in it at equal distance

with as small a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the

stumps so artificially, scraping and sloping them with my knife towards

the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a seasonable

supply, my own being so much broken in the teeth that it was almost

useless: neither did I know any artist in that country so nice and exact

as would undertake to make me another.

And this puts me in mind of an amusement wherein I spent many of my

leisure hours. I desired the queen's woman to save for me the combings

of her majesty's hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity; and

consulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who had received general

orders to do little jobs for me, I directed him to make two

chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my box, and then to bore

little holes with a fine awl round those parts where I designed the

backs and seats; through these holes I wove the strongest hairs I could

pick out, just after the manner of cane chairs in England. When they

were finished I made a present of them to her majesty, who kept them in

her cabinet, and used to shew them for curiosities, as indeed they were

the wonder of every one that beheld them. Of these hairs (as I had

always a mechanical genius) I likewise made a neat little purse, about

five feet long, with her majesty's name deciphered in gold letters,

which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the queen's consent. To say the truth,

it was more for show than use, being not of strength to bear the weight

of the larger coins, and therefore she kept nothing in it, but some

little coins that girls are fond of.

The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court, to

which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to hear

them; but the noise was so great that I could hardly distinguish the

tunes. I am confident that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army

beating and sounding together just at your ears, could not equal it. My

practice was to have my box removed from the place where the performers

sat, as far as I could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and

draw the window-curtains, after which I found their music not

disagreeable.

[Illustration]

I had learnt in my youth to play a little upon the spinet.[74]

Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended twice a

week to teach her. I called it a spinet, because it somewhat resembled

that instrument, and was played upon in the same manner.

A fancy came into my head that I would entertain the king and queen

with an English tune upon this instrument. But this appeared extremely

difficult; for the spinet was nearly sixty feet long, each key being

almost a foot wide, so that with my arms extended I could not reach to

above five keys, and to press them down required a good smart stroke

with my fist, which would be too great a labor, and to no purpose. The

method I contrived was this: I prepared two round sticks, about the

bigness of common cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other,

and I covered the thicker ends with a piece of mouse's skin, that by

rapping on them I might neither damage the tops of the keys nor

interrupt the sound. Before the spinet a bench was placed about four

feet below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I ran sideling upon

it that way and this as fast as I could, banging the proper keys with my

two sticks, and made a shift to play a jig to the great satisfaction of

both their majesties; but it was the most violent exercise I ever

underwent, and yet I could not strike above sixteen keys, nor

consequently play the bass and treble together as other artists do,

which was a great disadvantage to my performance.

The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent

understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in my

box, and set upon the table in his closet.[75] He would then command me

to bring one of my chairs out of the box, and sit down within three

yards distance upon the top of the cabinet, which brought me almost to a

level with his face. In this manner I had several conversations with

him. I one day took the freedom to tell his majesty that the contempt

he discovered towards Europe and the rest of the world did not seem

answerable to those excellent qualities of mind that he was master of;

that reason did not extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the

contrary, we observed in our country that the tallest persons were

usually least provided with it. That, among other animals, bees and ants

had the reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity than many of the

larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I

might live to do his majesty some signal[76] service. The king heard me

with attention, and began to conceive a much better opinion of me than

he had ever before. He desired I would give him as exact an account of

the government of England as I possibly could because, as fond as

princes commonly are of their own customs (for he conjectured of other

monarchs by my former discourses), he should be glad to hear of anything

that might deserve imitation.

Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for the

tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to celebrate

the praise of my own dear native country, in a style equal to its merits

and felicity.

[Illustration: "THE MOST VIOLENT EXERCISE I EVER UNDERWENT." P. 71.]

I began my discourse by informing his majesty that our dominions

consisted of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms, under

one sovereign, besides our plantations in America. I dwelt long upon the

fertility of our soil and the temperature of our climate. I then spoke

at large upon the constitution of an English parliament, partly made up

of an illustrious body, called the House of Peers, persons of the

noblest blood and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I

described that extraordinary care always taken of their education in

arts and arms, to qualify them for being counsellors both to the king

and kingdom; to have a share in the legislature; to be members of the

highest court of judicature, from whence there could be no appeal; and

to be champions always ready for the defence of their prince and

country, by their valor, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the

ornament and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their most

renowned ancestors, whose honor had been the reward of their virtue,

from which their posterity were never once known to degenerate. To these

were joined several holy persons, as part of that assembly, under the

title of bishops, whose peculiar business it is to take care of

religion, and those who instruct the people therein. These were searched

and sought out through the whole nation, by the prince and his wisest

counsellors, among such of the priesthood as were most deservedly

distinguished by the sanctity of their lives and the depth of their

erudition, who were indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the

people.

That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly, called

the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, _freely_ picked

and culled out by the people themselves, for their great abilities and

love of their country, to represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And

that these two bodies made up the most august assembly in Europe, to

whom, in conjunction with the prince, the whole legislature is

committed.

I then descended to the courts of justice, over which the judges, those

venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for determining

the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as for the punishment

of vice and protection of innocence. I mentioned the prudent management

of our treasury, the valor and achievements of our forces by sea and

land. I computed the number of our people, by reckoning how many

millions there might be of each religious sect or political party among

us. I did not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other

particular, which I thought might redound to the honor of my country.

And I finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and events

in England for about a hundred years past.

This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of several

hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention, frequently

taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of what questions

he intended to ask me.

When I had put an end to these long discourses, his majesty, in a sixth

audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, queries, and

objections, upon every article. He asked what methods were used to

cultivate the minds and bodies of our young nobility, and in what kind

of business they commonly spent the first and teachable part of their

lives? What course was taken to supply that assembly when any noble

family became extinct? What qualifications were necessary in those who

are to be created new lords; whether the humor of the prince, a sum of

money to a court lady as a prime minister, or a design of strengthening

a party opposite to the public interest, ever happened to be motives in

those advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the laws

of their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to

decide the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last resort?

Whether they were always so free from avarice, partialities, or want,

that a bribe or some other sinister view could have no place among them?

Whether those holy lords I spoke of were always promoted to that rank

upon account of their knowledge in religious matters and the sanctity of

their lives; had never been compilers with the times while they were

common priests, or slavish prostitute chaplains to some noblemen, whose

opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they were admitted

into that assembly?

He then desired to know what arts were practised in electing those whom

I called commoners; whether a stranger, with a strong purse, might not

influence the vulgar voters to choose him before their own landlord, or

the most considerable gentleman in the neighborhood? How it came to pass

that people were so violently bent upon getting into this assembly,

which I allowed to be a great trouble and expense, often to the ruin of

their families, without any salary or pension: because this appeared

such an exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that his majesty

seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere; and he desired

to know whether such zealous gentlemen could have any views of refunding

themselves for the charges and trouble they were at, by sacrificing the

public good to the designs of a weak and vicious prince, in conjunction

with a corrupted ministry? He multiplied his questions, and sifted me

thoroughly upon every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiries

and objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat.

Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty

desired to be satisfied in several points; and this I was the better

able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in

chancery,[77] which was decreed for me with costs. He asked what time

was usually spent in determining between right and wrong, and what

degree of expense? Whether advocates and orators had liberty to plead in

causes, manifestly known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive? Whether

party in religion or politics was observed to be of any weight in the

scale of justice? Whether those pleading orators were persons educated

in the general knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and

other local customs? Whether they, or their judges, had any part in

penning those laws which they assumed the liberty of interpreting and

glossing[78] upon at their pleasure? Whether they had ever, at different

times, pleaded for or against the same cause, and cited precedents to

prove contrary opinions? Whether they were a rich or a poor corporation?

Whether they received any pecuniary reward for pleading or delivering

their opinions? And, particularly, whether they were admitted as members

in the lower senate?

He fell next upon the management of our treasury, and said he thought my

memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at about five or six

millions a year, and, when I came to mention the issues, he found they

sometimes amounted to more than double; for the notes he had taken were

very particular in this point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the

knowledge of our conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be

deceived in his calculations. But if what I told him were true, he was

still at a loss how a kingdom could run out of its estate like a private

person. He asked me who were our creditors, and where we found to pay

them. He wondered to hear me talk of such chargeable and expensive wars;

that certainly we must be a quarrelsome people, or live among very bad

neighbors and that our generals must needs be richer than our kings. He

asked what business we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score

of trade or treaty, or to defend the coasts with our fleet. Above all,

he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing army in the midst

of peace and among a free people. He said if we were governed by our own

consent, in the persons of our representatives, he could not imagine of

whom we were afraid, or against whom we were to fight; and would hear my

opinion, whether a private man's house might not better be defended by

himself, his children, and family, than by half-a-dozen rascals, picked

up at a venture in the streets for small wages, who might get a hundred

times more by cutting their throats?

He laughed at my odd kind of arithmetic (as he was pleased to call it),

in reckoning the numbers of our people by a computation drawn from the

several sects among us, in religion and politics. He said, he knew no

reason why those who entertain opinions prejudicial to the public should

be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to conceal them. And as

it was tyranny in any government to require the first, so it was

weakness not to enforce the second: for a man may be allowed to keep

poisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for cordials.

He observed, that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry, I had

mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age this entertainment was

usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how much of their time it

employed: whether it ever went so high as to affect their fortunes:

whether mean, vicious people, by their dexterity in that art, might not

arrive at great riches, and sometimes keep our very nobles in

dependence, as well as habituate them to vile companions, wholly take

them from the improvement of their minds, and force them, by the losses

they received, to learn and practise that infamous dexterity upon

others?

He was perfectly astonished with the historical account I gave him of

our affairs during the last century, protesting it was only a heap of

conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, banishments,

the very worst effects that avarice, faction, hypocrisy, perfidiousness,

cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, lust, malice, and ambition, could

produce.

His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate the

sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with the answers

I had given; then taking me into his hands, and stroking me gently,

delivered himself in these words which I shall never forget, nor the

manner he spoke them in: "My little friend Grildrig, you have made a

most admirable panegyric upon your country; you have clearly proved that

ignorance, idleness, and vice are the proper ingredients for qualifying

a legislator; that laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied by

those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and

eluding them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which in

its original might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and the

rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It doth not appear, from

all you have said, how any one perfection is required towards the

procurement of any one station among you; much less that men are

ennobled on account of their virtue, that priests are advanced for their

piety or learning, soldiers for their conduct or valor, judges for their

integrity, senators for the love of their country, or counsellors for

their wisdom. As for yourself, continued the king, who have spent the

greatest part of your life in travelling, I am well disposed to hope you

may hitherto have escaped many vices of your country. But by what I have

gathered from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains

wrung and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of your

natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that

nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth."

[Illustration: "YOU HAVE MADE A MOST ADMIRABLE PANEGYRIC." P. 79.]

CHAPTER VII

THE AUTHOR'S LOVE OF HIS COUNTRY. HE MAKES A PROPOSAL OF MUCH

ADVANTAGE TO THE KING, WHICH IS REJECTED. THE KING'S GREAT

IGNORANCE IN POLITICS. THE LEARNING OF THAT COUNTRY VERY IMPERFECT

AND CONFINED. THE LAWS, AND MILITARY AFFAIRS, AND PARTIES IN THE

STATE.

Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me from

concealing this part of my story. It was in vain to discover my

resentments, which were always turned into ridicule; and I was forced to

rest with patience, while my noble and beloved country was so

injuriously treated. I am as heartily sorry as any of my readers can

possibly be, that such an occasion was given: but this prince happened

to be so curious and inquisitive upon every particular, that it could

not consist either with gratitude or good manners, to refuse giving him

what satisfaction I was able. Yet this much I may be allowed to say, in

my own vindication, that I artfully eluded many of his questions, and

gave to every point a more favorable turn, by many degrees, than the

strictness of truth would allow. For I have always borne that laudable

partiality to my own country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis[79] with

so much justice, recommends to an historian: I would hide the frailties

and deformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and

beauties in the most advantageous light. This was my sincere endeavor,

in those many discourses I had with that monarch, although it

unfortunately failed of success.

But great allowances should be given to a king who lives wholly secluded

from the rest of the world, and must therefore be altogether

unacquainted with the manners and customs that most prevail in other

nations: the want of which knowledge will ever produce many prejudices,

and a certain narrowness of thinking, from which we and the politer

countries of Europe are wholly exempted. And it would be hard indeed, if

so remote a prince's notions of virtue and vice were to be offered as a

standard for all mankind.

To confirm what I have now said, and farther to show the miserable

effects of a confined education, I shall here insert a passage which

will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate myself farther into

his majesty's favor, I told him of an invention discovered between three

and four hundred years ago, to make a certain powder into a heap, on

which the smallest spark of fire falling would kindle the whole in a

moment, although it were as big as a mountain, and make it all fly up in

the air together with a noise and agitation greater than thunder. That a

proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of brass or

iron, according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or lead with

such violence and speed as nothing was able to sustain its force. That

the largest balls thus discharged would not only destroy whole ranks of

an army at once, but batter the strongest walls to the ground, sink

down ships with a thousand men in each to the bottom of the sea; and,

when linked together by a chain, would cut through masts and rigging,

divide hundreds of bodies in the middle, and lay all waste before them.

That we often put this powder into large hollow balls of iron, and

discharged them by an engine into some city we were besieging, which

would rip up the pavements, tear the houses to pieces, burst and throw

splinters on every side, dashing out the brains of all who came near.

That I knew the ingredients very well, which were cheap and common; I

understood the manner of compounding them, and could direct his workman

how to make those tubes of a size proportionable to all other things in

his majesty's kingdom, and the largest need not to be above a hundred

feet long; twenty or thirty of which tubes, charged with the proper

quantity of powder and balls, would batter down the walls of the

strongest town in his dominions in a few hours, or destroy the whole

metropolis if ever it should pretend to dispute his absolute commands.

This I humbly offered to his majesty as a small tribute of

acknowledgment, in return for so many marks that I had received of his

royal favor and protection.

The king was struck with horror at the description I had given him of

those terrible engines, and the proposal I had made. He was amazed, how

so impotent and grovelling an insect as I (these were his expressions),

could entertain such inhuman ideas, and in so familiar a manner, as to

appear wholly unmoved at all the scenes of blood and desolation, which I

had painted, as the common effects of those destructive machines,

whereof, he said, some evil genius, enemy to mankind, must have been the

first contriver. As for himself, he protested, that although few things

delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in nature, yet he

would rather lose half his kingdom than be privy to such a secret, which

he commanded me, as I valued my life, never to mention any more.

A strange effect of narrow principles and short views! that a prince

possessed of every quality which procures veneration, love, and esteem;

of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning, endowed with

admirable talents for government, and almost adored by his subjects,

should, from a nice unnecessary scruple, whereof in Europe we can have

no conception, let slip an opportunity put into his hands, that would

have made him absolute master of the lives, the liberties, and the

fortunes of his people. Neither do I say this with the least intention

to detract from the many virtues of that excellent king, whose character

I am sensible will on this account be very much lessened in the opinion

of an English reader; but I take this defect among them to have arisen

from their ignorance, by not having hitherto reduced politics into a

science, as the more acute wits of Europe have done. For I remember very

well, in a discourse one day with the king, when I happened to say there

were several thousand books among us, written upon the art of

government, it gave him (directly contrary to my intention) a very mean

opinion of our understandings. He professed both to abominate and

despise all mystery, refinement, and intrigue, either in a prince or a

minister. He could not tell what I meant by secrets of state, where an

enemy or some rival nation were not in the case. He confined the

knowledge of governing within very narrow bounds, to common sense and

reason, to justice and lenity, to the speedy determination of civil and

criminal causes, with some other obvious topics, which are not worth

considering. And he gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two

ears of corn, or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground,

where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more

essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put

together.

The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only in

morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be allowed

to excel. But the last of these is wholly applied to what may be useful

in life, to the improvement of agriculture, and all mechanical arts; so

that among us it would be little esteemed. And as to ideas, entities,

abstractions, and transcendentals,[80] I could never drive the least

conception into their heads.

No law of that country must exceed in words the number of letters in

their alphabet, which consists only in two-and-twenty. But indeed few of

them extend even to that length. They are expressed in the most plain

and simple terms, wherein those people are not mercurial[81] enough to

discover above one interpretation; and to write a comment upon any law

is a capital crime. As to the decision of civil causes, or proceedings

against criminals, their precedents are so few, that they have little

reason to boast of any extraordinary skill in either.

They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out of

mind: but their libraries are not very large; for that of the king,

which is reckoned the largest, doth not amount to above a thousand

volumes, placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet long, from whence I

had liberty to borrow what books I pleased. The queen's joiner had

contrived in one of Glumdalclitch's rooms, a kind of wooden machine,

five-and-twenty feet high, formed like a standing ladder; the steps were

each fifty feet long: it was indeed a movable pair of stairs, the lowest

end placed at ten feet distance from the wall of the chamber. The book I

had a mind to read was put up leaning against the wall: I first mounted

to the upper step of the ladder, and turning my face towards the book

began at the top of the page, and so walking to the right and left about

eight or ten paces, according to the length of the lines, till I had

gotten a little below the level of mine eyes, and then descending

gradually, till I came to the bottom: after which I mounted again, and

began the other page in the same manner, and so turned over the leaf,

which I could easily do with both my hands, for it was as thick and

stiff as a paste-board, and in the largest folios not above eighteen or

twenty feet long.

Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid; for they

avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or using various

expressions. I have perused many of their books, especially those in

history and morality. Among the rest, I was much diverted with a little

old treatise, which always lay in Glumdalclitch's bed-chamber, and

belonged to her governess, a grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in

writings of morality and devotion. The book treats of the weakness of

human kind, and is in little esteem, except among the women and the

vulgar. However, I was curious to see what an author of that country

could say upon such a subject.

[Illustration]

This writer went through all the usual topics of European moralists,

showing how diminutive, contemptible, and helpless an animal was man in

his own nature; how unable to defend himself from inclemencies of the

air, or the fury of wild beasts; how much he was excelled by one

creature in strength, by another in speed, by a third in foresight, by a

fourth in industry. He added, that nature was degenerated in these

latter declining ages of the world, and could now produce only small

births, in comparison to those in ancient times. He said, it was very

reasonable to think, not only that the species of men were originally

much larger, but also, that there must have been giants in former ages;

which as it is asserted by history and tradition, so it hath been

confirmed by huge bones and skulls, casually dug up in several parts of

the kingdom, far exceeding the common dwindled race of man in our days.

He argued, that the very laws of nature absolutely required we should

have been made in the beginning of a size more large and robust, not so

liable to destruction, from every little accident, of a tile falling

from a house, or a stone cast from the hand of a boy, or being drowned

in a little brook. From this way of reasoning the author drew several

moral applications, useful in the conduct of life, but needless here to

repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid reflecting, how universally

this talent was spread, of drawing lectures in morality, or, indeed,

rather matter of discontent and repining, from the quarrels we raise

with nature. And I believe, upon a strict inquiry, those quarrels might

be shown as ill-grounded among us as they are among that people.

As to their military affairs, they boast that the king's army consists

of a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and thirty-two thousand

horse: if that may be called an army which is made up of tradesmen in

the several cities, and farmers in the country, whose commanders are

only the nobility and gentry, without pay or reward. They are indeed

perfect enough in their exercises, and under very good discipline,

wherein I saw no great merit; for how should it be otherwise, where

every farmer is under the command of his own landlord, and every citizen

under that of the principal men in his own city, chosen after the manner

of Venice, by ballot?

I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise in a

great field, near the city, of twenty miles square. They were in all not

above twenty-five thousand foot, and six thousand horse: but it was

impossible for me to compute their number, considering the space of

ground they took up. A cavalier, mounted on a large steed, might be

about ninety feet high. I have seen this whole body of horse, upon a

word of command, draw their swords at once, and brandish them in the

air. Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so

astonishing! it looked as if ten thousand flashes of lightning were

darting at the same time from every quarter of the sky.

I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there is no

access from any other country, came to think of armies, or to teach his

people the practice of military discipline. But I was soon informed,

both by conversation and reading their histories: for in the course of

many ages, they have been troubled with the same disease to which the

whole race of mankind is subject; the nobility often contending for

power, the people for liberty, and the king for absolute dominion. All

which, however, happily tempered by the laws of that kingdom, have been

sometimes violated by each of the three parties, and have more than once

occasioned civil wars, the last whereof was happily put an end to by

this prince's grandfather, in a general composition;[82] and the

militia, then settled with common consent, hath been ever since kept in

the strictest duty.

[Illustration]

CHAPTER VIII

THE KING AND QUEEN MAKE A PROGRESS[83] TO THE FRONTIERS. THE AUTHOR

ATTENDS THEM. THE MANNER IN WHICH HE LEAVES THE COUNTRY VERY

PARTICULARLY RELATED. HE RETURNS TO ENGLAND.

I had always a strong impulse that I should sometime recover my liberty,

though it was impossible to conjecture by what means, or to form any

project with the least hope of succeeding. The ship in which I sailed

was the first ever known to be driven within sight of the coast; and the

king had given strict orders, that if at any time another appeared, it

should be taken ashore, and with all its crew and passengers brought in

a tumbrel[84] to Lorbrulgrud. I was treated with much kindness: I was

the favorite of a great king and queen, and the delight of the whole

court; but it was upon such a footing as ill became the dignity of human

kind. I could never forget those domestic pledges I had left behind me.

I wanted to be among people with whom I could converse upon even terms,

and walk about the streets and fields, without being afraid of being

trod to death like a frog or a young puppy. But my deliverance came

sooner than I expected, and in a manner not very common: the whole story

and circumstances of which I shall faithfully relate.

[Illustration: "SHE HAD SOME FOREBODING." P. 94.]

I had now been two years in this country; and about the beginning of

the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the king and queen in a progress

to the south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as usual, in my

travelling-box, which, as I have already described, was a very

convenient closet of twelve feet wide. And I had ordered a hammock to be

fixed by silken ropes from the four corners at the top, to break the

jolts, when a servant carried me before him on horseback, as I sometimes

desired, and would often sleep in my hammock while we were upon the

road. On the roof of my closet, not directly over the middle of the

hammock, I ordered the joiner to cut out a hole of a foot square, to

give me air in hot weather as I slept, which hole I shut at pleasure

with a board that drew backwards and forwards through a groove.

When we came to our journey's end, the king thought proper to pass a few

days at a palace he hath near Flanflasnic, a city within eighteen

English of the sea-side Glumdalclitch and I were much fatigued, I had

gotten a small cold, but the poor girl was so ill as to be confined to

her chamber. I longed to see the ocean, which must be the only scene of

my escape, if ever it should happen I pretended to be worse than I

really was, and desired leave to take the fresh air of the sea with a

page, whom I was very fond of, and who had sometimes been trusted with

me. I shall never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch

consented, nor the strict charge she gave the page[85] to be careful of

me, bursting at the same time into a flood of tears, as if she had some

foreboding of what was to happen.

The boy took me out in my box about half-an-hour's walk from the palace

towards the rocks on the sea-shore. I ordered him to set me down, and

lifting up one of my sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy look towards

the sea. I found myself not very well, and told the page that I had a

mind to take a nap in my hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I got

in, and the boy shut the window close down to keep out the cold. I soon

fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is, that while I slept, the page,

thinking no danger could happen, went among the rocks to look for birds'

eggs, having before observed him from my windows searching about, and

picking up one or two in the clefts. Be that as it will, I found myself

suddenly awaked with a violent pull upon the ring, which was fastened at

the top of my box for the conveniency of carriage. I felt my box raised

very high in the air, and then borne forward with prodigious speed. The

first jolt had like to have shaken me out of my hammock, but afterwards

the motion was easy enough. I called out several times, as loud as I

could raise my voice, but all to no purpose. I looked towards my

windows, and could see nothing but the clouds and sky. I heard a noise

just over my head like the clapping of wings, and then began to perceive

the woful condition I was in, that some eagle had got the ring of my box

in his beak, with an intent to let it fall on a rock like a tortoise in

a shell, and then pick out my body and devour it; for the sagacity and

smell of this bird enabled him to discover his quarry[86] at a great

distance, though better concealed than I could be within a two-inch

board.

[Illustration]

In a little time I observed the noise and flutter of wings to increase

very fast, and my box was tossed up and down like a sign in a windy day.

I heard several bangs or buffets, as I thought, given to the eagle (for

such I am certain it must have been, that held the ring of my box in his

beak), and then all on a sudden felt myself falling perpendicularly down

for above a minute, but with such incredible swiftness, that I almost

lost my breath. My fall was stopped by a terrible squash,[87] that

sounded louder to my ears than the cataract of Niagara; after which I

was quite in the dark for another minute, and then my box began to rise

so high that I could see light from the tops of the windows. I now

perceived I was fallen into the sea. My box, by the weight of my body,

the goods that were in, and the broad plates of iron fixed for strength

at the four corners of the top and bottom, floated about five feet deep

in the water. I did then, and do now suppose, that the eagle which flew

away with my box was pursued by two or three others, and forced to let

me drop while he defended himself against the rest, who hoped to share

in the prey. The plates of iron fastened at the bottom of the box (for

those were the strongest) preserved the balance while it fell, and

hindered it from being broken on the surface of the water. Every joint

of it was well grooved, and the door did not move on hinges, but up and

down like a sash, which kept my closet so tight that very little water

came in. I got with much difficulty out of my hammock, having first

ventured to draw back my slip-board on the roof already mentioned,

contrived on purpose to let in air, for want of which I found myself

almost stifled.

How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch, from whom

one single hour had so far divided me. And I may say with truth that in

the midst of my own misfortunes I could not forbear lamenting my poor

nurse, the grief she would suffer for my loss, the displeasure of the

queen, and the ruin of her fortune. Perhaps many travellers have not

been under greater difficulties and distress than I was at juncture,

expecting every moment to see my box dashed to pieces, or at least

overset by the first violent blast or rising wave. A breach in one

single pane of glass would have been immediate death; nor could anything

have preserved the windows but the strong lattice-wires placed on the

outside against accidents in travelling. I saw the water ooze in at

several crannies, although the leaks were not considerable, and I

endeavored to stop them as well as I could, I was not able to lift up

the roof of my closet, which otherwise I certainly should have done, and

sat on the top of it, where I might at least preserve myself some hours

longer, than by being shut up (as I may call it) in the hold. Or, if I

escaped these dangers for a day or two, what could I expect but a

miserable death of cold and hunger? I was four hours under these

circumstances, expecting, and indeed wishing, every moment to be my

last.

I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples fixed

upon that side of my box which had no window, and into which the servant

who used to carry me on horseback would put a leathern belt, and buckle

it about his waist. Being in this disconsolate state, I heard, or at

least thought I heard, some kind of grating noise on that side of my box

where the staples were fixed, and soon after I began to fancy that the

box was pulled or towed along in the sea, for I now and then felt a sort

of tugging which made the waves rise near the tops of my windows,

leaving me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint hopes of relief,

although I was not able to imagine how it could be brought about. I

ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were always fastened to the

floor, and having made a hard shift to screw it down again directly

under the slipping board that I had lately opened, I mounted on the

chair, and putting my mouth as near as I could to the hole, I called for

help in a loud voice and in all the languages I understood. I then

fastened my handkerchief to a stick I usually carried, and thrusting it

up the hole, waved it several times in the air, that if any boat or ship

were near, the seamen might conjecture some unhappy mortal to be shut up

in the box.

I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my closet

to be moved along; and in the space of an hour or better, that side of

the box where the staples were and had no window struck against

something that was hard. I apprehended it to be a rock, and found myself

tossed more than ever. I plainly heard a noise upon the cover of my

closet like that of a cable, and the grating of it as it passed through

the ring. I then found myself hoisted up by degrees, at least three feet

higher than I was before. Whereupon I again thrust up my stick and

handkerchief, calling for help till I was almost hoarse. In return to

which I heard a great shout repeated three times, giving me such

transports of joy as are not to be conceived but by those who feel them.

I now heard a trampling over my head, and somebody calling through the

hole with a loud voice in the English tongue. "If there be anybody

below, let them speak." I answered I was an Englishman, drawn by ill

fortune into the greatest calamity that ever any creature underwent, and

begged by all that was moving to be delivered out of the dungeon I was

in. The voice replied I was safe, for my box was fastened to their ship;

and the carpenter should immediately come and saw a hole in the cover,

large enough to pull me out. I answered that was needless, and would

take up too much time, for there was no more to be done, but let one of

the crew put his finger into the ring, and take the box out of the sea

into the ship, and so into the captain's cabin. Some of them upon

hearing me talk so wildly thought I was mad; others laughed; for indeed

it never came into my head that I was now got among people of my own

stature and strength. The carpenter came, and in a few minutes sawed a

passage about four feet square, then let down a small ladder upon which

I mounted, and from thence was taken into the ship in a very weak

condition.

[Illustration: "SOMEBODY CALLING ... IN THE ENGLISH TONGUE." P. 99.]

The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand questions,

which I had no inclination to answer. I was equally confounded at the

sight of so many pygmies, for such I took them to be, after having so

long accustomed mine eyes to the monstrous objects I had left. But the

captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an honest, worthy Shropshire man,

observing I was ready to faint, took me into his cabin, gave me a

cordial to comfort me, and made me turn in upon his own bed, advising me

to take a little rest, of which I had great need. Before I went to

sleep, I gave him to understand that I had some valuable furniture in my

box, too good to be lost; a fine hammock, a handsome two chairs, a

table, and a cabinet. That my closet was hung on all sides, or rather

quilted, with silk and cotton: that if he would let one of the crew

bring my closet into his cabin, I would open it there before him, and

show him my goods. The captain, hearing me utter these absurdities,

concluded I was raving: however (I suppose to pacify me), he promised

to give orders as I desired, and going upon deck, sent some of his men

down into my closet, from whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up

all my goods, and stripped off the quilting; but the chairs, cabinet,

and bedstead, being screwed to the floor, were much damaged by the

ignorance of the seamen, who tore them up by force. Then they knocked

off some of the boards for the use of the ship, and when they had got

all they had a mind for, let the hull drop into the sea, which, by

reason of so many breaches made in the bottom and sides, sunk to

rights.[88] And indeed I was glad not to have been a spectator of the

havoc they made; because I am confident it would have sensibly

touched me, by bringing former passages into my mind, which I had rather

forgotten.

I slept some hours, but was perpetually disturbed with dreams of the

place I had left, and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon waking, I

found myself much recovered. It was now about eight o'clock at night,

and the captain ordered supper immediately, thinking I had already

fasted too long. He entertained me with great kindness, observing me not

to look wildly, or talk inconsistently; and when we were left alone,

desired I would give him a relation of my travels, and by what accident

I came to be set adrift in that monstrous wooden chest.

He said that about twelve o'clock at noon, as he was looking through his

glass, he spied it at a distance, and thought it was a sail, which he

had a mind to make[89], being not much out of his course, in hopes of

buying some biscuit, his own beginning to fall short. That upon coming

nearer and finding his error, he sent out his long-boat to discover what

it was; that his men came back in a fright, swearing they had seen a

swimming-house. That he laughed at their folly, and went himself in the

boat, ordering his men to take a strong cable along with them. That the

weather being calm, he rowed round me several times, observed my windows

and wire-lattices that defenced them. That he discovered two staples

upon one side, which was all of boards, without any passage for light.

He then commanded his men to row up to that side, and fastening a cable

to one of the staples, ordered them to tow my chest (as they called it)

towards the ship. When it was there, he gave directions to fasten

another cable to the ring fixed in the cover, and to raise up my chest

with pulleys, which all the sailors were not able to do above two or

three feet. He said they saw my stick and handkerchief thrust out of the

hole, and concluded that some unhappy man must be shut up in the cavity.

I asked whether he or the crew had seen any prodigious birds in the air

about the time he first discovered me? to which he answered, that,

discoursing this matter with the sailors while I was asleep, one of them

said he had observed three eagles flying towards the north, but remarked

nothing of their being larger than the usual size, which I suppose must

be imputed to the great height they were at; and he could not guess the

reason of my question. I then asked the captain how far he reckoned we

might be from land?

He said, by the best computation he could make, we were at least a

hundred leagues. I assured him that he must be mistaken by almost half,

for I had not left the country from whence I came above two hours before

I dropt into the sea. Whereupon he began again to think that my brain

was disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and advised me to go to bed

in a cabin he had provided. I assured him I was well refreshed with his

good entertainment and company, and as much in my senses as ever I was

in my life.

He then grew serious, and desired to ask me freely whether I were not

troubled in mind by the consciousness of some enormous crime, for which

I was punished by the command of some prince, by exposing me in that

chest, as great criminals in other countries have been forced to sea in

a leaky vessel without provisions; for although he should be sorry to

have taken so ill a man into his ship, yet he would engage his word to

set me safe ashore in the first port where we arrived. He added that his

suspicions were much increased by some very absurd speeches I had

delivered, at first to his sailors, and afterwards to himself, in

relation to my closet chest, as well as by my odd looks and behavior

while I was at supper.

I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully did,

from the last time I left England to the moment he first discovered me.

And as truth always forceth its way into rational minds, so this honest

worthy gentleman, who had some tincture of learning and very good sense,

was immediately convinced of my candor and veracity. But, farther to

confirm all I had said, I entreated him to give order that my cabinet

should be brought, of which I had the key in my pocket (for he had

already informed me how seamen disposed of my closet). I opened it in

his own presence, and showed him the small collection of rarities I made

in the country from whence I had been so strangely delivered. There was

the comb I had contrived out of the stumps of the king's beard. There

was a collection of needles and pins, from a foot to half a yard long;

four wasps' stings, like joiners' tacks; some combings of the queen's

hair; a gold ring, which one day she made me a present of in a most

obliging manner, taking it from her little finger and throwing it over

my head like a collar. I desired the captain would please to accept this

ring in return of his civilities, which he absolutely refused. Lastly I

desired him to see the breeches I had then on, which were made of a

mouse's skin.

I could force nothing upon him but a footman's tooth, which I observed

him to examine with great curiosity, and found he had a fancy for it. He

received it with abundance of thanks, more than such a trifle could

deserve. It was drawn by an unskilful surgeon, in a mistake, from one of

Glumdalclitch's men, who was affected with the toothache, but it was as

sound as any in his head. I got it cleaned, and put it in my cabinet. It

was about a foot long, and four inches in diameter.

The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had given

him, and said he hoped when we returned to England I would oblige the

world by putting it on paper, and making it public. My answer was, that

I thought we were already overstocked with books of travels; that

nothing could now pass which was not extraordinary; wherein I doubted

some authors less consulted truth than their own vanity, or interest, or

the diversion of ignorant readers, that my story could contain little

besides common events, without those ornamental descriptions of strange

plants, trees, birds, and other animals; or of the barbarous customs and

idolatry of savage people, with which most writers abound. However, I

thanked him for his good opinion, and promised to take the matter into

my thoughts.

He said he wondered at one thing very much, which was, to hear me speak

so loud, asking me whether the king or queen of that country were thick

of hearing. I told him it was what I had been used to for above two

years past, and that I wondered as much at the voices of him and his

men, who seemed to me only to whisper, and yet I could hear them well

enough. But when I spoke in that country, it was like a man talking in

the street to another looking out from the top of a steeple, unless when

I was placed on a table, or held in any person's hand. I told him I had

likewise observed another thing, that when I first got into the ship,

and the sailors stood all about me, I thought they were the most

contemptible little creatures I had ever beheld. For indeed, while I was

in that prince's country, I could never endure to look in a glass, after

my eyes had been accustomed to such prodigious objects, because the

comparison gave me so despicable a conceit of myself. The captain said

that while we were at supper he observed me to look at everything with a

sort of wonder, and that I often seemed hardly able to contain my

laughter, which he knew not well how to take, but imputed it to some

disorder in my brain. I answered, it was very true, and I wondered how I

could forbear, when I saw his dishes of the size of a silver threepence,

a leg of pork hardly a mouthful, a cup not so big as a nut-shell, and so

I went on, describing the rest of his household stuff and provisions

after the same manner. For although the queen had ordered a little

equipage of all things necessary for me, while I was in her service,

yet my ideas were wholly taken up with what I saw on every side of me,

and I winked at my own littleness, as people do at their own faults. The

captain understood my raillery very well, and merrily replied that he

did not observe my stomach so good, although I had fasted all day; and,

continuing in his mirth, protested he would have gladly given a hundred

pounds to have seen my closet in the eagle's bill, and afterwards in its

fall from so great a height into the sea; which would certainly have

been a most astonishing object, worthy to have the description of it

transmitted to future ages: and the comparison of Phaeton[90] was so

obvious, that he could not forbear applying it, although I did not much

admire the conceit.

[Illustration: "MY DAUGHTER KNEELED BUT I COULD NOT SEE HER" P. 109.]

The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to England,

driven northeastward, to the latitude of 44 degrees, and of longitude

143. But meeting a trade-wind two days after I came on board him, we

sailed southward a long time, and, coasting New Holland, kept our course

west-south-west, and then south-south-west, till we doubled the Cape of

Good Hope. Our voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not trouble the

reader with a journal of it. The captain called in at one or two ports,

and sent in his long-boat for provisions and fresh water, but I never

went out of the ship till we came into the Downs, which was on the third

day of June, 1706, about nine months after my escape. I offered to leave

pay goods in security for payment of my freight, but the captain

protested he would not receive one farthing. We took a kind leave of

each other, and I made him promise he would come to see me at my house

in Redriff. I hired a horse and guide for five shillings, which I

borrowed of the captain.

As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses--the trees,

the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in Lilliput. I was

afraid of trampling on every traveller I met, and often called aloud to

have them stand out of the way, so that I had like to have gotten one or

two broken heads for my impertinence.

When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire, one of

the servants opened the door, I bent down to go in (like a goose under a

gate), for fear of striking my head. My wife ran out to embrace me, but

I stooped lower than her knees, thinking she could otherwise never be

able to reach my mouth. My daughter kneeled to ask my blessing, but I

could not see her till she arose, having been so long used to stand with

my head and eyes erect to above sixty feet; and then I went to take her

up with one hand by the waist. I looked down upon the servants, and one

or two friends who were in the house, as if they had been pygmies, and I

a giant. I told my wife she had been too thrifty, for I found she had

starved herself and her daughter to nothing. In short, I behaved myself

so unaccountably, that they were all of the captain's opinion when he

first saw me, and concluded I had lost my wits. This I mention as an

instance of the great power of habit and prejudice.

In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right

understanding: but my wife protested I should never go to sea any more;

although my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not power to hinder

me, as the reader may know hereafter. In the meantime I here conclude

the second part of my unfortunate voyages.

[Illustration]

NOTE.

Jonathan Swift was born in Dublin, Ireland, in 1667, and died in 1745.

His parents were English. His father died before he was born, and his

mother was supported on a slender pittance by his father's brother. He

was educated at Trinity College, Dublin, and all through his early life

was dependent on the generosity of others. His college career was not

highly creditable, either from the point of view of manners, morals, or

learning. After leaving college, he travelled through England on foot,

and found employment with a relative of his mother's, Sir William

Temple, in whose house was a noble library; and for two years Swift made

up for some of his shortcomings by studying diligently therein. He went

to Oxford in 1692, took a degree and was ordained in 1694. He was given

a parish in Ireland, which he soon resigned, returning to the home of

Sir William Temple, where he remained until the death of the latter in

1699.

Temple left Swift a legacy, and confided to him the editing and

publishing of his works. This task completed, Swift went again to

Ireland to another parish, and threw himself into political

pamphleteering with great effect, one of the results of his exertions

being the securing of freedom from taxation for the Irish clergy. He

subsequently became Dean of St. Patrick's in Dublin, and for a period

achieved great popularity owing to his powerful political writings.

While in what he called his "exile" he wrote _Gulliver's Travels_, which

was at first published anonymously, the secret of the authorship being

so closely guarded that the publisher did not know who was the author.

Dr. Johnson characterized it as "A production so new and strange that it

filled the reader with admiration and amazement. It was read by the high

and low, the learned and the illiterate." In this work, Jonathan Swift

appears as one of the greatest masters of English we have ever had; as

endowed with an imaginative genius inferior to few; as a keen and

pitiless critic of the world, and a bitter misanthropic accounter of

humanity at large. Dean Swift was indeed a misanthrope by theory,

however he may have made exception to private life. His hero, Gulliver,

discovers race after race of beings who typify the genera in his

classification of mankind. Extremely diverting are Gulliver's adventures

among the tiny Lilliputians; only less so are his more perilous

encounters with the giants of Brobdingnag.... By a singular dispensation

of Providence, we usually read the _Travels_ while we are children; we

are delighted with the marvellous story, we are not at all injured by

the poison. Poor Swift! he was conscious of insanity's approach; he

repeated annually Job's curse upon the day of his birth; he died a

madman.

There are numerous biographies of Swift; but probably the best

characterization of the man and his life, rather than of his books, is

to be found in Thackeray's _English Humorists_, and a closer study of

the man and his works in Leslie Stevenson's "Swift," in Morley's

_English Men of Letters_. The other biographies of him are: Lord Orrery

_Remarks on the Life and Writings of Dr. Jonathan Swift_, 1751; Hawkes,

on his life, 1765; Sheridan's life, 1785; Forster's life, 1875

(unfinished); Henry Craik's life (1882). The best edition of Swift's

writings and correspondence is that edited by Scott, 1824.

FOOTNOTES:

[1] _Redriff Rotherhithe_: then a Thames side village, now part of

London.

[2] _Pound_: nearly five dollars.

[3] _Levant_: the point where the sun rises. The countries about the

eastern part of the Mediterranean Sea and its adjoining waters.

[4] _Mrs._: it was formerly the custom to call unmarried women Mrs.

[5] _The South Sea_: the Pacific Ocean.

[6] _Van Diemen's Land_: N.W. from Van Diemen's Land (Tasmania) and in

latitude 30 degrees 2 minutes would be in Australia or off the West

Coast.

[7] _Cable's length_: about six hundred or seven hundred feet.

[8] _Buff jerkin_ a leather jacket or waistcoat.

[9] _Small_: weak, thin.

[10] _Signet-royal_: the king's seal.

[11] _Half-pike_ a short wooden staff, upon one end of which was a

steel head.

[12] _Stang_: an old word for a perch, sixteen feet and a half, also

for a rood of ground.

[13] _Chairs_: a sedan chair is here meant. It held one person, and

was carried by two men by means of projecting poles.

[14] _Crest_: a decoration to denote rank.

[15] _Lingua Franca_: a language--Italian mixed with Arabic, Greek,

and Turkish--used by Frenchmen, Spaniards, and Italians trading with

Arabs, Turks, and Greeks. It is the commercial language of

Constantinople.

[16] _Imprimis_: in the first place, (pr.) im pri' mis.

[17] _Lucid_: shining, transparent.

[18] _Yeomen of the guards_: freemen forming the bodyguard of the

sovereign.

[19] _Pocket perspective_: a small spy-glass or telescope.

[20] _Trencher_: a wooden plate or platter.

[21] _Corn_: such grains as wheat, rye, barley, oats.

[22] _Quadrant_: an instrument long used for measuring altitudes.

[23] _Skirt_: coat-tail.

[24] _Alcoran_ the Koran or Mohammedan Bible.

[25] _Embargo_: an order not to sail.

[26] _Discompose them_: displace them.

[27] _Puissant_: powerful.

[28] _Junto_: a body of men secretly united to gain some political

end.

[29] _Pulling_: plucking and drawing, preparatory to cooking,

[30] _Meaner_: of lower rank.

[31] _Portion_: the part of an estate given to a child.

[32] _Domestic_: the household and all pertaining thereto.

[33] _Exchequer bills_: bills of credit issued from the exchequer by

authority of parliament.

[34] _Close chair_: sedan chair.

[35] _Cabal_: a body of men united for some sinister purpose.

[36] _Lee side_: side sheltered from the wind.

[37] _Ancient_: flag, corrupted from ensign.

[38] _Downs_: A famous natural roadstead off the southeast coast of

Kent, between Goodwin Sands and the mainland, south of the Thames

entrance.

[39] _Black Bull_: inns in England are often named after animals with

an adjective descriptive of the color of the sign; as, _The Golden

Lion, The White Horse_.

[40] _Towardly_: apt, docile.

[41] _Straits of Madagascar_: Mozambique Channel.

[42] _The line_: the equator.

[43] _Hinds_: peasants; rustics.

[44] _Pistoles_: about three dollars and sixty cents.

[45] _Trencher-side_: up to his trencher or wooden plate.

[46] _Discovering_: Showing.

[47] _From London Bridge to Chelsea_: about three miles as the birds

fly.

[48] _Pillion_: a cushion for a woman to ride on behind a person on

horseback. _From London to St. Alban's_: about twenty miles.

[49] _Pumpion_: pumpkin.

[50] _Parts_: accomplishments.

[51] _Sanson's Atlas_: a very large atlas by a French geographer in

use in Swift's time.

[52] _As good a hand of me_: as much money of me.

[53] _Moidore_: a Portuguese gold piece worth about six dollars.

[54] _Guineas_: an obsolete English gold coin, of the value of five

dollars.

[55] _Phoenix_: a bird of fable said to live for a long time and rise

anew from its own ashes.

[56] _Cabinet_: a private room.

[57] _Scrutoire_: a writing-desk.

[58] _Waiting_: attendance on the king.

[59] _Lusus naturae_: a freak of nature.

[60] _Royal Sovereign_: one of the great ships of Swift's time.

[61] _Dunstable lark_: large larks are caught on the downs near

Dunstable between September and February, and sent to London for

luxurious tables.

[62] _Drone_: the largest tube of a bag-pipe, giving forth a dull

heavy tone.

[63] _Gresham College_, in London, is named after the founder, an

English merchant, who died in 1579.

[64] _The square of_: as large as the square of.

[65] _Salisbury Steeple_: this is about four hundred feet high.

[66] _Battalia_: the order of battle.

[67] _Espalier_: a lattice upon which fruit-trees or shrubs are

trained.

[68] _Scull_: a short oar.

[69] _Starboard or larboard_: right or left.

[70] _Corking-pin_: a larger-sized pin.

[71] _Stomacher_: a broad belt.

[72] _Varlet_: knave.

[73] _Levee_: a ceremonious visit received by a distinguished person

in the morning.

[74] _Spinet_: a stringed instrument, a forerunner of our piano.

[75] _Closet_: private room.

[76] _Signal_: memorable.

[77] _Chancery_: a high court of equity.

[78] _Glossing_: commenting.

[79] _Dionysius of Halicarnassus_ was born about the middle of the

first century, B.C.; he endeavored in his history to relieve his Greek

countrymen from the mortification they had felt in their subjection to

the Romans, and patched up an old legend about Rome being of Greek

origin and therefore their "political mother."

[80] _Ideas, entities, abstractions, transcendentals_, words used in

that philosophy which deals with thinking, existence, and things

beyond the senses.

[81] _Mercurial_: active, spirited.

[82] _Composition_: compact, agreement.

[83] _Progress_: an old term for the travelling of the sovereign to

different parts of his country.

[84] _Tumbrel_: a rough cart.

[85] _Page_: a serving-boy, and especially one who waits on a person

of rank.

[86] _Quarry_: prey.

[87] _Squash_: shock, concussion.

[88] _To rights_ speedily.

[89] _To make_ To get alongside.

[90] _Phaeton_ a son of Apollo who was dashed into the river Endanus

for his foolhardiness in attempting to drive the steeds of the sun for

one day.

Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my trough