And from that day Percival had his privileged entry into Madame
Dalibard’s house. The little narrative of the circumstances connected
with his first meeting with Helen, partly drawn from Percival, partly
afterwards from Helen (with blushing and faltered excuses from the
latter for not having mentioned before an incident that might, perhaps
needlessly, vex or alarm her aunt in so delicate a state of health), was
received by Lucretia with rare graciousness. The connection, not only
between herself and Percival, but between Percival and Helen, was
allowed and even dwelt upon by Madame Dalibard as a natural reason for
permitting the artless intimacy which immediately sprang up between
these young persons. She permitted Percival to call daily, to remain for
hours, to share in their simple meals, to wander alone with Helen in the
garden, assist her to bind up the ragged flowers, and sit by her in the
old ivy-grown arbour when their work was done. She affected to look upon
them both as children, and to leave to them that happy familiarity which
childhood only sanctions, and compared to which the affection of maturer
years seems at once coarse and cold.
As they grew more familiar, the differences and similarities in their
characters came out, and nothing more delightful than the harmony into
which even the contrasts blended ever invited the guardian angel to
pause and smile. As flowers in some trained parterre relieve each other,
now softening, now heightening, each several hue, till all unite in one
concord of interwoven beauty, so these two blooming natures, brought
together, seemed, where varying still, to melt and fuse their affluences
into one wealth of innocence and sweetness. Both had a native buoyancy
and cheerfulness of spirit, a noble trustfulness in others, a singular
candour and freshness of mind and feeling. But beneath the gayety of
Helen there was a soft and holy under-stream of thoughtful melancholy,
a high and religious sentiment, that vibrated more exquisitely to the
subtle mysteries of creation, the solemn unison between the bright
world without and the grave destinies of that world within (which is
an imperishable soul), than the lighter and more vivid youthfulness of
Percival had yet conceived. In him lay the germs of the active mortal
who might win distinction in the bold career we run upon the surface of
the earth. In her there was that finer and more spiritual essence
which lifts the poet to the golden atmosphere of dreams, and reveals in
glimpses to the saint the choral Populace of Heaven. We do not say
that Helen would ever have found the utterance of the poet, that her
reveries, undefined and unanalyzed, could have taken the sharp, clear
form of words; for to the poet practically developed and made manifest
to the world, many other gifts besides the mere poetic sense are
needed,--stern study, and logical generalization of scattered truths,
and patient observation of the characters of men, and the wisdom that
comes from sorrow and passion, and a sage’s experience of things actual,
embracing the dark secrets of human infirmity and crime. But despite all
that has been said in disparagement or disbelief of “mute, inglorious
Miltons,” we maintain that there are natures in which the divinest
element of poetry exists, the purer and more delicate for escaping from
bodily form and evaporating from the coarser vessels into which the
poet, so called, must pour the ethereal fluid. There is a certain virtue
within us, comprehending our subtlest and noblest emotions, which is
poetry while untold, and grows pale and poor in proportion as we strain
it into poems. Nay, it may be said of this airy property of our inmost
being that, more or less, it departs from us according as we give it
forth into the world, even, as only by the loss of its particles, the
rose wastes its perfume on the air. So this more spiritual sensibility
dwelt in Helen as the latent mesmerism in water, as the invisible
fairy in an enchanted ring. It was an essence or divinity, shrined and
shrouded in herself, which gave her more intimate and vital union with
all the influences of the universe, a companion to her loneliness, an
angel hymning low to her own listening soul. This made her enjoyment of
Nature, in its merest trifles, exquisite and profound; this gave to her
tenderness of heart all the delicious and sportive variety love
borrows from imagination; this lifted her piety above the mere forms of
conventional religion, and breathed into her prayers the ecstasy of the
saint.
But Helen was not the less filled with the sweet humanities of her age
and sex; her very gravity was tinged with rosy light, as a western cloud
with the sun. She had sportiveness and caprice, and even whim, as the
butterfly, though the emblem of the soul, still flutters wantonly over
every wild-flower, and expands its glowing wings on the sides of the
beaten road. And with a sense of weakness in the common world (growing
out of her very strength in nobler atmospheres), she leaned the more
trustfully on the strong arm of her young adorer, not fancying that the
difference between them arose from superiority in her; but rather as a
bird, once tamed, flies at the sight of the hawk to the breast of its
owner, so from each airy flight into the loftier heaven, let but the
thought of danger daunt her wing, and, as in a more powerful nature, she
took refuge on that fostering heart.
The love between these children--for so, if not literally in years, in
their newness to all that steals the freshness and the dew from maturer
life they may be rightly called--was such as befitted those whose souls
have not forfeited the Eden. It was more like the love of fairies than
of human beings. They showed it to each other innocently and frankly;
yet of love as we of the grosser creation call it, with its impatient
pains and burning hopes, they never spoke nor dreamed. It was an
unutterable, ecstatic fondness, a clinging to each other in thought,
desire, and heart, a joy more than mortal in each other’s presence; yet,
in parting, not that idle and empty sorrow which unfits the weak for
the homelier demands on time and life, and this because of the wondrous
trust in themselves and in the future, which made a main part of their
credulous, happy natures. Neither felt fear nor jealousy, or if jealousy
came, it was the pretty, childlike jealousies which have no sting,--of
the bird, if Helen listened to its note too long; of the flower, if
Percival left Helen’s side too quickly to tie up its drooping petals or
refresh its dusty leaves. Close by the stir of the great city, with all
its fret and chafe and storm of life, in the desolate garden of that
sombre house, and under the withering eyes of relentless Crime, revived
the Arcady of old,--the scene vocal to the reeds of idyllist and
shepherd; and in the midst of the iron Tragedy, harmlessly and
unconsciously arose the strain of the Pastoral Music.
It would be a vain effort to describe the state of Lucretia’s mind while
she watched the progress of the affection she had favoured, and gazed on
the spectacle of the fearless happiness she had promoted. The image of
a felicity at once so great and so holy wore to her gloomy sight the
aspect of a mocking Fury. It rose in contrast to her own ghastly and
crime-stained life; it did not upbraid her conscience with guilt so
loudly as it scoffed at her intellect for folly. These children, playing
on the verge of life, how much more of life’s true secret did they
already know than she, with all her vast native powers and wasted realms
of blackened and charred experience! For what had she studied, and
schemed, and calculated, and toiled, and sinned? As a conqueror stricken
unto death would render up all the regions vanquished by his sword for
one drop of water to his burning lips, how gladly would she have given
all the knowledge bought with blood and fire, to feel one moment as
those children felt! Then, from out her silent and grim despair, stood
forth, fierce and prominent, the great fiend, Revenge.
By a monomania not uncommon to those who have made self the centre of
being, Lucretia referred to her own sullen history of wrong and passion
all that bore analogy to it, however distant. She had never been
enabled, without an intolerable pang of hate and envy, to contemplate
courtship and love in others. From the rudest shape to the most refined,
that master-passion in the existence, at least of woman,--reminding her
of her own brief episode of human tenderness and devotion,--opened every
wound and wrung every fibre of a heart that, while crime had indurated
it to most emotions, memory still left morbidly sensitive to one. But
if tortured by the sight of love in those who had had no connection with
her fate, who stood apart from her lurid orbit and were gazed upon only
afar (as a lost soul, from the abyss, sees the gleam of angels’ wings
within some planet it never has explored), how ineffably more fierce
and intolerable was the wrath that seized her when, in her haunted
imagination, she saw all Susan’s rapture at the vows of Mainwaring
mantling in Helen’s face! All that might have disarmed a heart as hard,
but less diseased, less preoccupied by revenge, only irritated more the
consuming hate of that inexorable spirit. Helen’s seraphic purity,
her exquisite, overflowing kindness, ever forgetting self, her airy
cheerfulness, even her very moods of melancholy, calm and seemingly
causeless as they were, perpetually galled and blistered that writhing,
preternatural susceptibility which is formed by the consciousness of
infamy, the dreary egotism of one cut off from the charities of the
world, with whom all mirth is sardonic convulsion, all sadness rayless
and unresigned despair.
Of the two, Percival inspired her with feelings the most akin to
humanity. For him, despite her bitter memories of his father, she felt
something of compassion, and shrank from the touch of his frank hand in
remorse. She had often need to whisper to herself that his life was an
obstacle to the heritage of the son of whom, as we have seen, she was
in search, and whom, indeed, she believed she had already found in John
Ardworth; that it was not in wrath and in vengeance that this victim
was to be swept into the grave, but as an indispensable sacrifice to a
cherished object, a determined policy. As, in the studies of her youth,
she had adopted the Machiavelism of ancient State-craft as a rule
admissible in private life, so she seemed scarcely to admit as a crime
that which was but the removal of a barrier between her aim and her
end. Before she had become personally acquainted with Percival she had
rejected all occasion to know him. She had suffered Varney to call upon
him as the old protege of Sir Miles, and to wind into his intimacy,
meaning to leave to her accomplice, when the hour should arrive, the
dread task of destruction. This not from cowardice, for Gabriel had once
rightly described her when he said that if she lived with shadows she
could quell them, but simply because, more intellectually unsparing
than constitutionally cruel (save where the old vindictive memories
thoroughly unsexed her), this was a victim whose pangs she desired not
to witness, over whose fate it was no luxury to gloat and revel. She
wished not to see nor to know him living, only to learn that he was no
more, and that Helen alone stood between Laughton and her son. Now that
he had himself, as if with predestined feet, crossed her threshold, that
he, like Helen, had delivered himself into her toils, the hideous guilt,
before removed from her hands, became haunting, fronted her face to
face, and filled her with a superstitious awe.
Meanwhile, her outward manner to both her meditated victims, if moody
and fitful at times, was not such as would have provoked suspicion even
in less credulous hearts. From the first entry of Helen under her roof
she had been formal and measured in her welcome,--kept her, as it were,
aloof, and affected no prodigal superfluity of dissimulation; but she
had never been positively harsh or unkind in word or in deed, and had
coldly excused herself for the repulsiveness of her manner.
“I am irritable,” she said, “from long suffering, I am unsocial from
habitual solitude; do not expect from me the fondness and warmth that
should belong to our relationship. Do not harass yourself with vain
solicitude for one whom all seeming attention but reminds more painfully
of infirmity, and who, even thus stricken down, would be independent
of all cares not bought and paid for. Be satisfied to live here in all
reasonable liberty, to follow your own habits and caprices uncontrolled.
Regard me but as a piece of necessary furniture. You can never displease
me but when you notice that I live and suffer.”
If Helen wept bitterly at these hard words when first spoken, it was not
with anger that her loving heart was so thrown back upon herself. On the
contrary, she became inspired with a compassion so great that it
took the character of reverence. She regarded this very coldness as a
mournful dignity. She felt grateful that one who could thus dispense
with, should yet have sought her. She had heard her mother say that
she had been under great obligations to Lucretia; and now, when she
was forbidden to repay them even by a kiss on those weary eyelids, a
daughter’s hand to that sleepless pillow; when she saw that the barrier
first imposed was irremovable, that no time diminished the distance
her aunt set between them, that the least approach to the tenderness of
service beyond the most casual offices really seemed but to fret those
excitable nerves, and fever the hand that she ventured timorously to
clasp,--she retreated into herself with a sad amaze that increased her
pity and heightened her respect. To her, love seemed so necessary a
thing in the helplessness of human life, even when blessed with health
and youth, that this rejection of all love in one so bowed and crippled,
struck her imagination as something sublime in its dreary grandeur and
stoic pride of independence. She regarded it as of old a tender
and pious nun would have regarded the asceticism of some sanctified
recluse,--as Theresa (had she lived in the same age) might have regarded
Saint Simeon Stylites existing aloft from human sympathy on the roofless
summit of his column of stone; and with this feeling she sought to
inspire Percival. He had the heart to enter into her compassion, but not
the imagination to sympathize with her reverence. Even the repugnant
awe that he had first conceived for Madame Dalibard, so bold was he
by temperament, he had long since cast off; he recognized only the
moroseness and petulance of an habitual invalid, and shook playfully
his glossy curls when Helen, with her sweet seriousness, insisted on his
recognizing more.
To this house few, indeed, were the visitors admitted. The Miverses,
whom the benevolent officiousness of Mr. Fielden had originally sent
thither to see their young kinswoman, now and then came to press Helen
to join some party to the theatre or Vauxhall, or a picnic in Richmond
Park; but when they found their overtures, which had at first been
politely accepted by Madame Dalibard, were rejected, they gradually
ceased their visits, wounded and indignant.
Certain it was that Lucretia had at one time eagerly caught at their
well-meant civilities to Helen,--now she as abruptly declined them. Why?
It would be hard to plumb into all the black secrets of that heart. It
would have been but natural to her, who shrank from dooming Helen to no
worse calamity than a virgin’s grave, to have designed to throw her into
such uncongenial guidance, amidst all the manifold temptations of the
corrupt city,--to have suffered her to be seen and to be ensnared by
those gallants ever on the watch for defenceless beauty; and to contrast
with their elegance of mien and fatal flatteries the grossness of the
companions selected for her, and the unloving discomfort of the home
into which she had been thrown. But now that St. John had appeared,
that Helen’s heart and fancy were steeled alike against more dangerous
temptation, the object to be obtained from the pressing courtesy of Mrs.
Mivers existed no more. The vengeance flowed into other channels.
The only other visitors at the house were John Ardworth and Gabriel
Varney.
Madame Dalibard watched vigilantly the countenance and manner of
Ardworth when, after presenting him to Percival, she whispered: “I am
glad you assured me as to your sentiments for Helen. She had found there
the lover you wished for her,--‘gay and handsome as herself.’”
And in the sudden paleness that overspread Ardworth’s face, in his
compressed lips and convulsive start, she read with unspeakable rage the
untold secret of his heart, till the rage gave way to complacency at the
thought that the last insult to her wrongs was spared her,--that her son
(as son she believed he was) could not now, at least, be the successful
suitor of her loathed sister’s loathed child. Her discovery, perhaps,
confirmed her in her countenance to Percival’s progressive wooing, and
half reconciled her to the pangs it inflicted on herself.
At the first introduction Ardworth had scarcely glanced at Percival. He
regarded him but as the sleek flutterer in the sunshine of fortune.
And for the idle, the gay, the fair, the well-dressed and wealthy, the
sturdy workman of his own rough way felt something of the uncharitable
disdain which the laborious have-nots too usually entertain for the
prosperous haves. But the moment the unwelcome intelligence of Madame
Dalibard was conveyed to him, the smooth-faced boy swelled into dignity
and importance.
Yet it was not merely as a rival that that strong, manly heart, after
the first natural agony, regarded Percival. No, he looked upon him less
with anger than with interest,--as the one in whom Helen’s happiness was
henceforth to be invested. And to Madame Dalibard’s astonishment,--for
this nature was wholly new to her experience,--she saw him, even in
that first interview, composing his rough face to smiles, smoothing his
bluff, imperious accents into courtesy, listening patiently, watching
benignly, and at last thrusting his large hand frankly forth, griping
Percival’s slender fingers in his own; and then, with an indistinct
chuckle that seemed half laugh and half groan, as if he did not dare to
trust himself further, he made his wonted unceremonious nod, and strode
hurriedly from the room.
But he came again and again, almost daily, for about a fortnight.
Sometimes, without entering the house, he would join the young people in
the garden, assist them with awkward hands in their playful work on the
garden, or sit with them in the ivied bower; and warming more and more
each time he came, talk at last with the cordial frankness of an elder
brother. There was no disguise in this; he began to love Percival,--what
would seem more strange to the superficial, to admire him. Genius has a
quick perception of the moral qualities; genius, which, differing
thus from mere talent, is more allied to the heart than to the head,
sympathizes genially with goodness. Ardworth respected that young,
ingenuous, unpolluted mind; he himself felt better and purer in its
atmosphere. Much of the affection he cherished for Helen passed thus
beautifully and nobly into his sentiments for the one whom Helen not
unworthily preferred. And they grew so fond of him,--as the young and
gentle ever will grow fond of genius, however rough, once admitted to
its companionship!
Percival by this time had recalled to his mind where he had first seen
that strong-featured, dark-browed countenance, and he gayly reminded
Ardworth of his discourtesy, on the brow of the hill which commanded the
view of London. That reminiscence made his new friend writhe; for then,
amidst all his ambitious visions of the future, he had seen Helen in the
distance,--the reward of every labour, the fairest star in his horizon.
But he strove stoutly against the regret of the illusion lost; the
vivendi causae were left him still, and for the nymph that had glided
from his clasp, he clung at least to the laurel that was left in her
place. In the folds of his robust fortitude Ardworth thus wrapped his
secret. Neither of his young playmates suspected it. He would have
disdained himself if he had so poisoned their pleasure. That he
suffered when alone, much and bitterly, is not to be denied; but in that
masculine and complete being, Love took but its legitimate rank amidst
the passions and cares of man. It soured no existence, it broke no
heart; the wind swept some blossoms from the bough, and tossed wildly
the agitated branches from root to summit, but the trunk stood firm.
In some of these visits to Madame Dalibard’s, Ardworth renewed with
her the more private conversation which had so unsettled his past
convictions as to his birth, and so disturbed the calm, strong currents
of his mind. He was chiefly anxious to learn what conjectures Madame
Dalibard had formed as to his parentage, and what ground there was for
belief that he was near in blood to herself, or that he was born to a
station less dependent on continuous exertion; but on these points the
dark sibyl preserved an obstinate silence. She was satisfied with the
hints she had already thrown out, and absolutely refused to say more
till better authorized by the inquiries she had set on foot. Artfully
she turned from these topics of closer and more household interest to
those on which she had previously insisted, connected with the general
knowledge of mankind, and the complicated science of practical life.
To fire his genius, wing his energies, inflame his ambition above that
slow, laborious drudgery to which he had linked the chances of his
career, and which her fiery and rapid intellect was wholly unable
to comprehend--save as a waste of life for uncertain and distant
objects--became her task. And she saw with delight that Ardworth
listened to her more assentingly than he had done at first. In truth,
the pain shut within his heart, the conflict waged keenly between his
reason and his passion, unfitted him for the time for mere mechanical
employment, in which his genius could afford him no consolation. Now,
genius is given to man, not only to enlighten others, but to comfort
as well as to elevate himself. Thus, in all the sorrows of actual
existence, the man is doubly inclined to turn to his genius for
distraction. Harassed in this world of action, he knocks at the gate of
that world of idea or fancy which he is privileged to enter; he escapes
from the clay to the spirit. And rarely, till some great grief comes,
does the man in whom the celestial fire is lodged know all the gift of
which he is possessed. At last Ardworth’s visits ceased abruptly. He
shut himself up once more in his chambers; but the law books were laid
aside.
Varney, who generally contrived to call when Ardworth was not there,
seldom interrupted the lovers in their little paradise of the garden;
but he took occasion to ripen and cement his intimacy with Percival.
Sometimes he walked or (if St. John had his cabriolet) drove home and
dined with him, tete-a-tete, in Curzon Street; and as he made Helen his
chief subject of conversation, Percival could not but esteem him amongst
the most agreeable of men. With Helen, when Percival was not there,
Varney held some secret conferences,--secret even from Percival. Two or
three times, before the hour in which Percival was accustomed to come,
they had been out together; and Helen’s face looked more cheerful than
usual on their return. It was not surprising that Gabriel Varney, so
displeasing to a man like Ardworth, should have won little less favour
with Helen than with Percival; for, to say nothing of an ease and
suavity of manner which stole into the confidence of those in whom to
confide was a natural propensity, his various acquisitions and talents,
imposing from the surface over which they spread, and the glitter
which they made, had an inevitable effect upon a mind so susceptible
as Helen’s to admiration for art and respect for knowledge. But what
chiefly conciliated her to Varney, whom she regarded, moreover, as her
aunt’s most intimate friend, was that she was persuaded he was
unhappy, and wronged by the world of fortune. Varney had a habit of so
representing himself,--of dwelling with a bitter eloquence, which
his natural malignity made forcible, on the injustice of the world to
superior intellect. He was a great accuser of Fate. It is the illogical
weakness of some evil natures to lay all their crimes, and the
consequences of crime, upon Destiny. There was a heat, a vigour, a rush
of words, and a readiness of strong, if trite, imagery in what Varney
said that deceived the young into the monstrous error that he was an
enthusiast,--misanthropical, perhaps, but only so from enthusiasm. How
could Helen, whose slightest thought, when a star broke forth from the
cloud, or a bird sung suddenly from the copse, had more of wisdom and
of poetry than all Varney’s gaudy and painted seemings ever could even
mimic,--how could she be so deceived? Yet so it was. Here stood a man
whose youth she supposed had been devoted to refined and elevating
pursuits, gifted, neglected, disappointed, solitary, and unhappy. She
saw little beyond. You had but to touch her pity to win her interest
and to excite her trust. Of anything further, even had Percival never
existed, she could not have dreamed. It was because a secret and
undefinable repugnance, in the midst of pity, trust, and friendship, put
Varney altogether out of the light of a possible lover, that all those
sentiments were so easily kindled. This repugnance arose not from
the disparity between their years; it was rather that nameless
uncongeniality which does not forbid friendship, but is irreconcilable
with love. To do Varney justice, he never offered to reconcile the two.
Not for love did he secretly confer with Helen; not for love did his
heart beat against the hand which reposed so carelessly on his murderous
arm.