There is One who hath said that to Him belongeth vengeance. When His
creatures take into their incapable grasp the javelins of His wrath it is
generally with as impotent and baleful a result as when young Phaëton,
seeking to guide the chariot of the sun, brought to himself despair, and
scorched to cinders the unoffending earth. Thus was it with Virginia.
With the nearness of her unbridled love and anger she had forever seamed
as if with fire the fair world of her content. It seemed to her that
space itself would be too narrow to hold her apart from such women as
were good and true.
Just God! could it be that her sin was to be visited upon the being whom
of all the world she loved best, because of whom that sin had been
committed? Was Roden going to suffer, perhaps to die, in the stead of
the woman she had sought to slay? He was not often at Caryston now; most
of his days were spent with his betrothed. He did not notice the change
which was stealing over Herrick’s daughter. He had no time to wonder that
she did not sing now at her spinning as once she had sung. He would not
have paused to listen to her had she done so.
He was called away again to the North on the last of May, and on
the day after his departure Aunt Tishy burst into Virginia’s room
with flour-covered hands. “Gord! Gord! honey,” she said, tossing her
blue-checked apron up and down with wild, savage gestures of dismay and
grief, “what yuh think?--Marse Jack’s sweetheart’s dun got de rade fever,
an’ dey don’ think as how she’ll live.”
Virginia stood and stared at her with eyes which saw nothing. Her face
took on a ghastly greenish pallor. About her brow and mouth there stole
a cold moisture. She opened her lips, and seemed to speak. Her lips
framed the same words stupidly over and over again.
“Gord! honey,” cried the old negress, seizing her, as she swayed backward
as if about to fall, “is yuh gwine be sick yuhsef?”
Virginia pushed her away, walked steadily over to an old oak cupboard,
took out a jug of whiskey, and drank from its green glass throat as
she had seen men do. The stinging liquid filled her veins with a hot,
false strength. She spoke quickly now, in a harsh tone, seizing the old
nurse by the shoulders, and thrusting her white face, with its lambent,
distended eyes, close to that of the terrified Aunt Tishy.
“When was she took? Who tol’ yuh? Are yuh lyin’? Ef yuh’re lyin’ I’ll
curse yuh with such curses yuh won’ be able to be still when yuh’re dead.
But yuh wouldn’ lie tuh me, would yuh, mammy? You wouldn’ lie to me to
send me tuh hell in th’ spirit ’fo’ I was called there fur good. Yuh hear
me? Why didn’ yuh tell me befo’? Who’s with her? Who’s nursin’ her? Put
up my clo’es. I’m goin’--I’m goin’ right now. God! Air yuh a-tryin’ to
hold me? Ha! ha! That’s good--that cert’n’y is good. I’ll make father
larf at that when--when I come back. Why, you pore old thing, I could
throw you outer that winder ef I tried. Well, don’t cry. What a’ you
cryin’ fur? God! God! God! have mercy on me!”
She fell upon her knees, wringing her hands and throwing backward her
agonized face, as though with her uplooking, straining eyes she would
pierce the very floor of heaven and behold that mercy for which she
pleaded. Then she leaped again to her feet. All at once a calmness fell
upon her. She resumed the old dull listlessness of some days past as
though it had been a garment.
“I’m goin’ to Mis’ Erroll’s,” she said, quietly. “I wan’ some clo’es.
Send ’em; I ain’t er-goin’ tuh wait. Tell father.”
Virginia, arrived at Windemere, went down the basement steps into the
kitchen. The cook, a young mulatto woman named Lorinda, came forward to
meet her on cautious, brown-yarn toes.
“Miss Mary’s a-dyin’,” she announced, in a sepulchral whisper. “De doctor
seh ez how she kyarn’ live nohow. She’s jess ez rade ez a tomarker fum
hade tuh foots. An’ she’s jess pintly ’stracted. Yuh never heah sich
screechin’ an’ tuh-doin’ in all yuh life.”
“Kin I see Mis’ Erroll?” Virginia said, shortly. She sat down on an
upturned half-barrel near the door, and leaned with her forehead in her
locked palms. Lorinda, rebuffed but obliging, went to see. Virginia was
not surprised when she returned shortly, followed by Mrs. Erroll herself.
Her heart would never quicken its beat again for anything this side of
torment, she thought. Poor, erring, repentant, suffering little savage,
what are you enduring now if it be not torment?
Mrs. Erroll, nervous and hysterical, took the girl’s hands in hers,
and scarcely knowing what she did, bent forward and kissed her cheek.
Virginia started back with a harsh cry, which was born and died in her
throat.
“Poor child!” Mrs. Erroll said, humbly. “I beg your pardon. But if you
feared contagion you ought not to have come here.”
“’Tain’t that--’tain’t that,” said Virginia. “Don’ min’ me; I’m queer
like sometimes. I didn’ mean nuthin’. Ev’ybordy in this neighborhood ’ll
tell yo’ I’m a good nurse. I’ve come to he’p yo’. I’ve come to take kyar
of her. I’ve come to _make_ her live!”
She lifted one arm with a gesture of command almost threatening. The next
moment it dropped heavily to her side. The old dull look crept like a
shadow over the momentary animation of her face. “They’ll tell yo’ I’m a
good nurse,” she said, in her slow monotone.
Mrs. Erroll was only too thankful for the proffered services. She had
no assistance from the whites in the neighborhood; indeed, all of the
neighboring families had left for the Virginia Springs.
Virginia, after removing her shoes, went at once to the sick-room. As her
eyes fell upon the flushed face on the pillow it was as if every drop of
blood in her body turned first to fire and then to ice.
She stood with her hands against her breast and looked down at her own
work. The beautiful dark tresses, formerly so smoothly braided about
the small head, now ever turning from side to side as though in search
of rest which it found not, were tangled and matted until no trace of
their former lustre remained; the red lips, ever moving, gave forth wild,
incoherent cries and mutterings.
About the slender throat coiled the wraith of a dark-blue velvet ribbon.
“Take it off, take it off,” whispered Virginia. “She kyarn’ git well
while that’s there--she kyarn’.” Reason came back to her with a sudden
rush, and she knew that only her mind’s eye saw the velvet ribbon.
She then took her place by the bedside, from which she did not move to
eat or sleep for twelve days and nights. They brought her bouillon and
made her drink it under penalty of being turned from the room. For twelve
times four-and-twenty hours she listened to those senseless ravings.
She was mistaken in turn by the sick girl for her mother, for some of
her school-room friends, for Roden. Mary would sometimes put up both
narrow, fever-wasted hands to her little throat, and cry out that she
was choking--that Virginia had brought her a band of fire and locked it
about her throat. By what strange coincidence such a fancy should have
possessed her who shall say?
Thus they went together, those two, through the Valley of the Shadow--the
all but murdered, the almost murderess--and she who had sought to slay
brought back to life.
Roden, detained by some business complication in New York, heard nothing
of his sweetheart’s illness until telegraphed for on the day of the
crisis. It was just the balance of a mote in sunshine between life and
death. Life brought the mote that won. They told him he must thank
Virginia. They had all thanked her, and blessed her, with thanks and
blessings which burned her guilty soul with twice the fire of red-hot
maledictions. That they should bless her whom God had cursed! Ah, God,
she prayed not! She would but know if God himself wept not because of the
sad mockery.
A wild thought came to her with healing in its wings, as when a blade
of grass forces its way between the stones in a prisoner’s cell. She had
read of atonement: might she not atone?
Perhaps God would let her buy forgiveness with her life. Why had she not
taken the fever; or was this fever now which rioted through her veins?
She was walking homeward with her shoes slung across her shoulders. The
grass felt cool and damp against her bare feet. Would it not wither where
she trod? She looked backward over her shoulder with a laugh. It seemed
to her that her footprints would be set as with fire across that lush
June field.
Then came a curse upon her eyes. For her the earth lost all its summer
green; the heavens above her bent not bluely down to meet the blue
horizon. The birds ceased singing, and echoed her mirthless laugh; all
nature took it up--a monstrous harmony of jovial sounds. At what were
they making merry, these creatures large and small--the crickets, the
wild birds, the many voices of field and forest, of air and water?
Was it at her they laughed? Did they jeer at her because she had lost
her soul? Ah, for the cool green to look upon! Ah, that its blue would
return to the lurid heavens! The curse of blood was upon her. Because of
it she looked on all things as through a scarlet veil. Red was the vault
above her; red the far-reaching line of well-loved hills; red, red, the
whirling earth.
Virginia did not die. A week after her recovery she sent and asked if
Roden would come to her father’s room; she wished to speak with him.
He went most willingly, having never felt as though he had sufficiently
thanked her for what she had done for one who was to him as the life in
his veins.
As he entered the room, in spite of all his self-control he could not
restrain a slight start. Was this Virginia Herrick?--this snow maiden
with eyes of fire, and tangled hair that seemed to flame about her white
face as though it would consume it?--this fragile, wasted, piteous memory
of a woman? She was as poor a likeness of her former self as a sketch in
white chalk would be of one of Fortuny’s sunlit glares of canvas.
He came and stood beside her, wordless, and then put one of his strong
brown hands kindly on her hair.
“Wait,” she said, drawing herself away from him--“wait.”
“Ah, Miss Virginia,” he said, in his breezy, gentle voice, “we will soon
have you out of this. You won’t know yourself in two weeks.”
“Wait,” she said, her great eyes burning into his.
“My poor little girl,” he said, almost with tenderness, “I am afraid you
have over-estimated your strength. You had better let me go now. I will
come to-morrow whenever you send for me.”
“Wait,” she said a fourth time, in that strange, still voice.
He had a horrified doubt in regard to her reason as he took the chair to
which she pointed and sat down facing her.
“Well,” he said, with an assumption of gayety which he was far from
feeling, “what is it? Am I to be scolded for anything?”
“Do you believe in torment?” said the girl. She kept her hollow,
stirless eyes on his. There was an absence of movement about her almost
oppressive. She seemed not even to breathe.
“My dear child,” said Roden, nervously, “do choose a more cheerful
subject. Really, you know, it isn’t good for you to be morbid now. Let’s
talk of something jolly and pleasant. Don’t you want to hear how the
mokes are coming along? And Bonnibel, poor old girl! I’m afraid her
feelings will be awfully hurt when I tell her you didn’t ask after her.”
“I s’pose ev’ybordy bleeves in torment that has felt it,” said the girl.
She had not moved in anywise. Her deep, still eyes yet rested on his
face. She seemed drinking his looks with hers. “I’ve sorter come ter
think as hell’s in th’ hearts o’ people,” she went on. “There ain’t no
flames ez kin burn like them in people’s hearts.”
Roden jumped to his feet, and went over beside her. “Virginia,” he said,
kindly but firmly, “I’m not going to let you talk like this. Good Heaven!
those country quacks know as little about medicine as I do; not as
much, by Jove! for I’d not have let you leave your bed for a month yet.
Come, dear, let me persuade you. Go back to bed. I’ll come and see you
to-morrow in your room, if your father’ll let me. You must, Virginia!”
“It ain’t no worse, do you reckon,” she went on, dully, “tuh be in hell
than tuh have hell in you? I’ve thought er heap ’bout it. I’ve most
answered it, but I’d rather--”
“Hush! hush!” said Roden, imperatively. He thought her delirious, and
started to the door to call her nurse.
“Wait!” rang out her voice, with all its old, clear strength. She had
risen to her feet. She was there before him. The light from the window
behind her struck through her hair, so that she seemed standing between
rows of living flame. “I want tuh tell you,” she said. “I didn’t use tuh
think I was a coward, but I am--I am!” She beat the palms of her hands
together, and tossed back her head as though seeking to be rid of the
superflux of agony which tore her. “I kyarn’ bear to say it tuh yo’; I
kyarn’ bear to hear yo’ curse me, ez I have so often hearn yo’ in my
dreams. I kyarn’ bear--O God!--I kyarn’ bear fur yo’ tuh know me ez I am.
O God! O God! this’ll wipe it out, won’t it? This’ll buy me peace?”
“Virginia! Virginia!” said Roden, beside himself. He tried to force her
again into her chair.
“Ah! don’t touch me!” she cried out--“don’t yuh touch me, tuh hate me
worse than ever when yuh know--Listen--listen hard, ’cause yuh ain’t
a-goin’ to bleeve me when first yuh hear. Yuh come here tuh thank me fur
savin’ her life. Listen: ’twas me ez tried to kill her--’twas me! me!
me!” The last word broke from her with a wild sob, almost vindictive in
its urgent violence. She seemed like one who scourges mercilessly his
own flesh for its sins against his soul. “I done it--I done it. I tried
ter kill her. Listen! You’ve hearn o’ fever bein’ cyar’d in bits o’
ribbon--in leetle bits o’ velvet ribbon--one, two, ten, twenty years?
There was a leetle baby died here onc’t. It died o’ th’ fever _she_ liked
tuh ’a’ died of. I give her that piece o’ velvet to w’ar roun’ her pretty
throat. I went up intuh th’ attic, an’ hunted an’ hunted till I found it
in th’ baby’s cradle. I give it to her. I tried to kill her. O my God!
Do yo’ want tuh touch me--now?”
He stood and stared on her like one dazed by a sudden blow, though not
quite stunned.
“You are crazy,” he said, thickly. “Poor Virginia, you are crazy.”
“O God!” she wailed. “I wisht I wuz--I wisht I wuz! Oh, ef I wuz only
like them dumb beasts in th’ stables out thar! Ef I wuz only Bonnibel,
then--then--then yuh wouldn’ hate me; an’ ef yuh did, I wouldn’ know.”
“You are raving,” he said again.
“Ask her--ask her, if yo’ don’ bleeve me. Ask her ’f Faginia Herrick
didn’ bring her a leetle bit o’ blue velvet to w’ar round her throat the
night she got wet in th’ rain. She said then it smelt damp like it had
been in a attic. Ask her--ask her.”
“God in heaven!” said Roden, between his teeth, “can you be telling me
the truth?”
“_He_ knows I am!--_He_ knows I am!” she said, wildly.
Roden turned from her, resting his hand on the back of the chair in which
he had sat when he first entered the room. His head drooped. The double
horror seemed like a palpable thing at his side.
“D’ yo’ bleeve me?” she said, with panting eagerness.
“Yes,” he said. She would not have recognized his voice had he spoken in
the dark.
She waited a few moments, motionless, frozen, as it were, with suspense
and dread. Then she leaned forward, and holding fast her bosom with her
crossed arms in the gesture usual with her, fixed her dilating eyes upon
him. Was it possible, could it be true, that after all he could not curse
her? Nay, dear God! was he even going to forgive her?
“Say something,” she said, in a bated voice--“say somethin’. Jess so you
don’ curse me, say somethin’.”
Still he spoke not. She fell upon her knees and laid her head upon his
feet. “O my God! my God!” she sobbed, “air yuh goin’ tuh furgive me?”
Then he spoke to her. “Forgive you?” he repeated--“forgive you?” He
laughed a short, rough laugh. “By G--!” he said, turning away from her,
so that her forehead rested on the bare floor instead of on his feet,
“it’s all I can do not to curse you!”
When she rose again to her knees she was alone in the darkening room.