The ingenious German device of writing private letters to English
friends filled with German justifications of the War and news of the
gaiety and normal prosperity of Berlin is now being carried farther, and
extracts from private letters purporting to be addressed by English
people to German friends have begun to be printed in the Berlin papers.
Here follows an illustration of this type of composition:--
My dear friend,--I am sure you will like to hear from me, especially as
I am in a position to enlighten you as to the deplorable condition of
things in England under the fear of the Mailed Fist and forebodings of
the worst. For it is only too true that all the best and most
knowledgable people here have thrown up the sponge and are prepared for
the inevitable.
A private letter is probably the only means of communicating the real
situation to you, for the English papers of course do not tell the
truth. In fact you must believe nothing they say, for there is a great
conspiracy here to maintain the fiction that we are high-spirited, eager
and confident. Everything is done to foster that illusion.
BERNHARDI'S great book has been translated and is being largely sold,
and it is awful to watch the faces of the people reading it--how they
blanch and quiver. It is curious, you might think, that they read it at
all; but you know the dread fascination of the snake for the
humming-bird. The bird sees its doom, but cannot escape, and in fact
draws nearer.
Would you believe it of this nation, so famous for its phlegm, that at
the outset of the war there was such a panic among our intellectuals
that they could not write prose at all, but all the papers were full of
rhyme? As you know, there is no sign of hysteria more trustworthy than
this.
You may have heard that recruiting has been brisk and keen, but do not
believe this. Only by huge bribes have men been induced to join at all.
The finances of the country are being taxed to the utmost to find the
extra "palm-oil" which these mercenaries demand.
The Birmingham factories are feverishly busy making dum-dum and
explosive bullets.
You may have gathered from the papers that football goes on as usual.
This is so, outwardly, but as a matter of fact the games are played with
no spirit and are kept going wholly by force applied by the Government,
whose aim is thus to suggest a feeling of security in the country. A few
misguided people, who completely misunderstand the situation, hold that
footballers should go to the Front and fight; but the Government take a
more prudent view and will not allow this, holding that their agility
on the field in League Matches and so forth is of high service as an
anodyne and distraction. I have heard of more than one case of a
well-known herculean player, accustomed not only to big money but
applause and hero-worship, seriously wondering if fighting were not his
real duty and if he ought not to make a bolt for the Front, but being
compelled to acquiesce in the Government's plans and go on drawing his
salary for the public pursuit of an air-bladder. This shows you to what
a pass things have come.
There are also hundreds of young actors in London alone who are being
forcibly kept in the country to go on entertaining and playing the fool
for the same sedative purpose. These youths are all healthy and fit, but
it is held that their true function is to work in the theatres and halls
to beguile the audiences and divert their thoughts from the terrible
reality of German invasion. With each step that the Germans draw nearer
the mummers redouble their efforts to excite laughter. Thus did NERO
fiddle.
The terror produced by your nerve-racking Zeppelins is constant. Hardly
a soul is now to be seen in the streets of London. Everyone is below the
earth, in the Tubes and subways, which are packed by white and trembling
crowds. Every cellar is congested, the top floors having been wholly
abandoned. As a sign of the times I may tell you that a Company, called
the Aerated Dread Co., has been formed to provide iron suits for those
who can afford them, and on the Board of Directors are both the PRIME
MINISTER and Sir EDWARD GREY. So awful is the agitation from which
everyone here is suffering under the Zeppelin menace that the noise of a
tyre bursting in the street often prostrates as many as forty
passers-by.
No more to-day, my friend. I will write again soon and add to the
melancholy picture of a once powerful nation shuddering with craven
fears.
Give my love to your dear children.
Your devoted K---- L----.
* * * * *
"On the sea dyke the Germans have posted heavy artillery.... They
have also posted gunes in the dunes."--_South Wales Echo._
This settles us. We shall now begin our War Poem.
* * * * *
Illustration: FROM THE RECRUIT'S POINT OF VIEW.
_Sergeant._ "FORM FOURS!" "AS YOU WERE! FORM FOURS!!" "_As you were!!_
FORM FOURS!!!" "***!!! *****!!!!"
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