["The other day the enemy's artillery fire on my battery was so
great that we were forced to take cover. I sat crouched in my
'funk-hole' for seventeen solid hours. Luckily I had Jacobs's 'Sea
Urchins' with me, which I read to the accompaniment of screaming and
bursting shells."
_Officer in the Royal Field Artillery._]
_Mr. Punch_, while remarking that he is not surprised that the shells
screamed in the circumstances, begs to assure his readers that, if the
following information corresponds with the facts, Mr. Jacobs is not the
only author who has been solacing our troops in the trenches.
Miss Carrie Morelli writes: "There has so far been no public mention of
any books of mine being read in the trenches and affording solace to our
gallant troops. This, however, is because all the reports from the Front
come from men, and men are notoriously jealous of feminine activity in
literature as elsewhere. I have no doubt in my own mind that many a
soldier in action has been cheered by hurried glances at my novels, a
list of which can be forwarded on application."
An unsigned letter from the Isle of Man states that the writer, who
rightly wishes to remain anonymous, possesses a copy of a novel of
astonishing genius, in which a German bullet is embedded. This book, it
seems, was the inseparable companion of a soldier in the 3rd Manx
Highlanders, who carried it always next his heart, and in its position
in that intimate and honoured spot it saved his life. The writer, who
confesses to being the author of the novel in question, states that he
would divulge both his own name and that of the title of the book but
that his objection to publicity amounts to a mania.
The publishers of _The Orangery_, by Mrs. Markley, write to inform us of
an astounding incident which throws a new and sensational light on the
campaign in the Western Theatre of War. It appears that at a critical
moment during the great effort of the Germans to break through the left
flank of the Allies, General VON KLUCK absolutely refused to see or
consult with his Staff for the space of three hours. It subsequently
transpired that a copy of _The Orangery_, which had been found in the
knapsack of a British prisoner, had come into the General's possession
and so absolutely enthralled him that he abandoned all thought of
strategy or tactics until he had finished its perusal. Owing to the
extraordinary power of Mrs. Markley's genius the German advance was
paralysed, and the Allies, resuming the offensive, drove the enemy back
in confusion, with results which have vitally affected the progress of
the campaign.
Mr. ARNOLD BENNETT has just received a remarkable letter from a British
marine who was recently landed on the coast of Flanders. The writer
describes how, as he was reading one of Mr. BENNETT'S recent articles on
the war in a carefully excavated trench, a "Jack Johnson" shell
descended directly over him, but was suddenly diverted by the article,
and soared away at right angles, bursting with a terrific chuckle at a
safe distance.
* * * * *
Latest War News.
Turkey has now joined the "Sossidges"--a trifle earlier in the year than
usual.
* * * * *
We understand that Pietermaritzburg will shortly change its name to
Petrobothagrad.
* * * * *
Illustration: THE EXCURSIONIST.
_Scene_: TICKET OFFICE AT ---- (_censored_).