_House of Commons, Monday, December 8_.--Prince ARTHUR came down to
House this afternoon, with light heart, and unwrinkled brow. The first
section of Session was drawing to a close; truly a wonderful time.
OLD MORALITY, in arranging for its disposal, had, as usual, taken a
sanguine view of his opportunities, and had crammed the space with
work to be done. There were the Tithes Bill and the Land Purchase
Bill, ineffectually struggled over last Session, and finally
abandoned. There was the Railways Bill, successfully obstructed last
Session, leading, on one occasion, to an All-night Sitting; and there
was the Seed Potato Bill, innocent enough in appearance, but, like
all Irish measures, capable of blossoming into portentous things. But
everything had gone smoothly. Here was the 8th of December, not
quite a fortnight after opening of Session, and appointed work nearly
finished. To-night would read a Second Time second portion of Land
Bill, and then, hey, for the Christmas holidays!
[Illustration: Surveying the Battle-field.]
Prince ARTHUR, entering House with long, swinging stride, smiling
sweetly around him, started at the prospect before him. Hitherto
Benches in Irish quarter have been empty; accustomed occupants
wrestling with each other in Committee Room No. 15. "For a fortnight,"
as SYDNEY HERBERT said, dropping into poetry as he surveyed the
battle-field from the Bar, "all bloodless lay the untrodden snow."
Now Prince ARTHUR, like "LINDEN, saw another sight." The Irish quarter
closely packed. At the corner seat by the Gangway TIM HEALY, terribly
truculent; a little further down the new Leader of the regenerate
party, bent on making more History for Our Own Times.
Whilst PARNELL was yet the uncrowned king, he eschewed the habit
of Guerilla Leaders (whether with or without a following) of
appropriating a corner seat.
"For a very good reason," says WILLIAM MURPHY, once mildest-mannered
man that ever built a tram or railway, now transformed into
exceedingly plain-spoken politician. "If PARNELL had taken corner
seat, his comings and goings--especially his goings--would have been
more easily marked. Sitting midway down the Bench, amongst the ruck
of Members, he was not noticeable except when he wanted to be noticed.
Could slink in and out without attracting attention."
[Illustration: Not quite "O Keay!"]
Not for that reason, but from sheer modesty, JUSTIN MCCARTHY has taken
up almost identical position; Truculent TIM guards the corner seat,
where he can snap and snarl with fuller freedom. Fell upon Prince
ARTHUR to-night with fearsome ferocity. The Prince, having explained
his measure last week, when TIM and the rest were "deliberating"
in Committee Room No. 15, he presumed to think he needn't repeat
exercise, and so moved. Second Reading by dumb gesture. TIM on his
feet as if propelled from catapult. What! the Chief Secretary not
going to make a speech when the new Irish Party had mustered for
the first time in the history of a reeling and revolving universe?
Abominable Atrocious!! Contumeliously contemptuous!!!
TIM moved Adjournment of Debate; wanted to discuss merits of Bill on
this motion. Deputy-Speaker interfered on point of order. TIM must
speak or burst. If he withdrew his Motion for Adjournment, he might
get someone else to move rejection of Bill. Then his opportunity would
come. Eye fell on SEYMOUR KEAY, dressed in height of antique fashion,
reclining on Bench below him. KEAY always wanting to make speech. Not
invariably coherent, but that no consequence. He would be only too
glad to move rejection of Bill; then TIM would dive in and get off his
speech.
Change of tactics too rapid for KEAY to follow. TIM's motion
withdrawn; question put was, "that Bill be read Second Time." Now was
KEAY's cue to rise and move its rejection; but KEAY failed to grasp
situation; sat smiling with inane adulation at tip of his passionately
polished patent-leather shoe, over which lay the fawn-coloured "spat,"
like dun dawn rising over languid lustrous sea. Not a second to be
lost. Deputy-Chairman on his feet; if no Amendment were submitted,
he would declare Second Reading carried. TIM stooped down, and with
clenched fist smote KEAY between the shoulder-blades. KEAY, startled
out of pleased reverie, turned round with frightened glance, as he
beheld TIM blazing with righteous fury, glowering over him: paralysed
with fear; had heard alarming rumours of methods of Debate introduced
in Committee Room No. 15. This sudden assault from the rear evidently
one of them. Who could say what might not be its most natural
sequence?
"I expected every moment would be my next," SEYMOUR KEAY said, later,
when, with still chattering teeth, he was describing the episode.
"Tut!" said TIM. "I was only asking you to get up and move that the
Land Department (Ireland) Bill be read a Second Time on that day six
months."
While someone went for glass of water and smelling salts for SEYMOUR
KEAY, MAURICE HEALY moved rejection of Bill; Debate arose; TIM
storming round the topic with undiminished vigour. But no one would
rise to his tempestuous heights; Debate flittered out; Bill read
Second Time; House up by Seven o'Clock. _Business done._--A lot.
[Illustration: "Au Revoir!"]
_Tuesday._--Dreadful rumour when House met that TIM HEALY had ready
for delivery speech two hours long, on Prince ARTHUR in general,
and Irish Land Bill in particular. Turned out to be only TIM's fun.
Once or twice in course of brief proceedings he jumped up suddenly,
and shouted out, "Bah!" but only meant to frighten OLD MORALITY.
Momentarily had desired effect; soon clear that nothing serious meant.
Appointed Bills advanced through stipulated stages, and OLD MORALITY,
modest in mien, even after the triumph of matchless management
displayed in brief Session, moved Adjournment over Christmas holidays.
Conversation as to arrangement of business on reassembling; Truculent
TIM, coming to the front at least urgent opportunity, demanded that
Irish business should not be taken as first Order. OLD MORALITY
promptly gave desired pledge. Then MARJORIBANKS, who, to travesty
TREVELYAN's famous saying, Though a Whip, is a Scottish gentleman,
broke the long pause of eloquent silence cultivated in the Lobby;
protested against Scotch Members being placed in inconvenient
position, by being obliged to put in appearance on first day after
holidays. Welsh Members echoed plaint on their part. Why should Tithes
Bill be put down for first day?
Pretty to see OLD MORALITY's firm attitude, in face of this
demonstration. Had capitulated to Irish at first sound of TIM's low
voice; quite a different thing with inconsiderable people like the
Scotch or Welsh. Almost haughtily protested against possibility of
alteration. "Members," he said, vaguely remembering copy-book heading,
"are made for business, not business for Members." That settled it.
Motion for Adjournment carried; Young GOSSET, with his beaver up,
advanced to remove Mace, and House went off for Christmas holidays.
_Business done._--Sittings adjourned till 22nd of January.
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NOTE ON THE WESTMINSTER PLAY.--The notion of its being performed in
"The Dormitory" is delightful. None of the performers could possibly
be offended by the audience doing the right thing in the right place,
and going to sleep.
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