My Dear Mr. Punch,--Fresh from the country (which has been my
perpetual residence for the last twenty years), I came to London,
a few days ago, to visit an establishment which seemed to me to
represent that delight of my childhood, the Polytechnic Institution,
in the time of Professor PEPPER's Ghost, and glass-blowing by
machinery. I need scarcely say that the Royal Aquarium was the
attraction, where a shilling entrance fee I imagined would procure for
me almost endless enjoyment.
I had seen the appetising programme--how the doors were opened at 10
A.M., to close a good thirteen hours later--after a round of novelties
full of interest to a provincial sight-seer, to say nothing of a
Londoner. I entered and found the Variety Entertainment was "on." I
was about to walk into an enclosure, and seat myself in a first-rate
position for witnessing the gambols of some talented wolves, when I
was informed that I could not do this without extra payment. Unwilling
to "bang" an extra sixpence (two had already been expended) I tried
to find a gratuitous coign of vantage, but (I am sorry to add)
unsuccessfully. But I was not to be disheartened. Could I not see
"KENNEDY, King Laughter-Maker of the World," or "a Grand Billiard
Match," or (more interesting still) "the Performing Fleas"? Yes,
indeed I could, but only by expending a shilling on the Mesmerist, a
like sum for the Billiard Match. and sixpence on the carefully-trained
hoppers. Seeing that "the Wonderful and Beautiful Mystic MURIEL" was
in the building, I attempted to interview her, but was stopped at the
door by a demand for the fifth of half-a-crown. A like sum stood as a
barrier between me and an entertainment that I was told was "described
by Mr. RIDER HAGGARD in his well-known romance, called _She_."
Passing by a small bower-like canvas erection, I was attracted by the
declaration of its custodian that it was "the most wonderful sight
in the world," a statement he made, he said, "without fear of
contradiction." But "Eve's Garden" (as the small bower-like canvas
erection was called) was inaccessible to those who did not expend the
grudgingly-produced but necessary sixpence. Foiled in this direction,
I fain would have visited the celebrated Beckwith Family performances,
but was prevented by finding that a shilling was the only passport to
admission, unless I happened to be a child, when the modified charge
of sixpence would be deemed sufficient. There was, however, one
entertainment almost free (only a penny was charged), an automatic
sight-tester, which pleased me greatly. By putting a copper in the
slot, pressing a pedal, and turning a handle, I learned that anyone
could discover, literally at a glance, the condition of his eyes.
Had I not made up my mind to disburse nothing further than the bare
shilling I had already expended, I should certainly have ascertained
if the time had arrived for my regretful assumption of a pinch-nose or
a pair of spectacles.
I was now losing heart, when, to my great joy, I came upon "the White
Kangaroo, the Laughing Jackasses, &c.," all of which were to be seen
"free gratis and for nothing." It is right, however, that I should add
that I found some difficulty in distinguishing "the White Kangaroo"
from "the Laughing Jackasses," and both from "&c." I now made for
Mlle. PAULA's Crocodiles, but here, again, alas! I was doomed to
disappointment. As I approached the Reptile-House, in which the fair
dame was disporting herself (no doubt) amongst "Indian Pythons and Boa
Constrictors," I was warned off by the legend, "Admission, Sixpence."
It was then I remembered that, after all, I was in an Aquarium,
and, consequently, had no right to expect anything but fish. So I
approached the tanks, and, to my great delight, found in one of them
some floating bodies, that I am almost sure must have been herrings.
Having thus gratified my curiosity for the strange and the curious, I
returned, well satisfied, to the country, where I purpose remaining a
further term of next twenty years. In the meanwhile, believe me, Dear
_Mr. Punch_,
Yours sincerely, ONE EASILY PLEASED.
* * * * *
Something very big.--"The principal _rôle (Falstaff_), in VERDI's new
comic Opera is amplified and enlarged," writes a special Correspondent
to _The Standard_, "from the _Falstaff_ of the other plays (besides
the _Merry Wives_) in which he takes a part." "Takes a part!" Good
Heavens! _Falstaff_ "amplified and enlarged" will be something more
than a part. It will be that mathematical impossibility, "a part
greater than the whole." Surely, with such a _rôle_ in it, this can't
be a light Opera.
* * * * *