She seemed quite herself at luncheon, and Latham was the life and the
jest of the table. Women are bred so; and such is the craft of his
trade.
Even Stephen watching jealously—he had known of the _tête-à-tête_ of
the morning—learned nothing. And Caroline Leavitt rejoiced and was
grateful to see the girl so much more nearly herself.
But still Stephen watched—and waited.
At twilight he found Helen alone in the library. He joined her almost
timidly, fearing she might drive him away. He sensed well enough that
she wished to be alone. But she neither welcomed nor dismissed him.
“I didn’t know you were ill, Helen,” he said, seating himself where he
could see her face well.
“I am not ill,” she replied, a little impatiently, rising and crossing
the room, and standing at the window, facing it, not him.
“But you sent for Latham.”
Helen made no answer.
Stephen persisted, “And you carried him off to your room after
breakfast, and said plainly enough, that you wished to be undisturbed
there.”
“Yes, and I meant it. But it was to talk to him of something quite
different from my health.”
“May I know what it was?” Pryde asked, going to the window, looking at
her searchingly with his keen, speculative eyes.
“You, Stephen? No.” She could scarcely have spoken more coldly. And
again she crossed the room, and stood looking down into the fire this
time, her face once more out of the range of his eyes.
Pryde bit his lip, but he made no further bid for her confidence. He
knew it would be useless—and worse. Neither spoke again for some time.
Only the tick-tick of the grandfather’s clock, rewound and set now,
touched the absolute silence. At last he said, “Helen.”
“Yes.” She turned and faced him, but both her voice and her face were
cold and discouraging. He was risking too much, he was rasping his
cousin; and he knew it. But for the life of him he could not desist.
Such moments come to men sometimes, and against the impulse the firmest
will is helpless.
“Do you remember losing a little blue shoe, years ago?” he began.
“I? No.”
“You did—the day we first came here. I found it. And I kept it. I have
it still. I’ve always had it. I had it at Oxford.”
Helen sat down wearily, looking bored.
“I loved that little blue shoe, even the day I found and kept
it—because it was yours. I have treasured it all these years—because
it was yours. I shall keep it always.”
The girl shrugged her shoulders a little unkindly. “Well,” she said
indifferently, “I don’t suppose it would fit me now.”
Her irresponsiveness stung him. He crossed to her quickly and laid a
masterful hand on her chair. “Have you thought over what I told
you?—about what I feel—about what Uncle Dick wished?”
She answered him then, and anything but indifferently. “Not now,
Stephen,” she said impatiently, “I can’t talk of that now.”
“But you must.”
“Must?”
Her voice should have warned him. There was anger in it, contempt even,
indignation, no quarter. And it was final. Not so do coquettes parry and
fence and invite. Not so do women who love, or are learning to love,
postpone the hour they half fear, the joy they hesitate to reveal or
confess. Perfectly, too, Stephen caught the portents of her tone, but he
was past warning. Love and impatience goaded him. He had reached his
Rubicon, and he must cross it, or go down in it, engulfed and defeated.
A vainer man would have taken alarm and retreated definitely from sure
discomfiture and chagrin. A man who loved less would have spared the
girl and himself. A wiser man, more self-contained, would have waited.
Stephen Pryde plunged on, and plunged badly—every word an offense,
every tone provocation.
“Can’t you see how vital this is to me?” he demanded roughly, his voice
as impatient as hers had been, and altogether lacking her calm. “I must
know what you are going to do, I must know.” He could not even deny
himself the dire word the most obnoxious a man can use to a woman. A
blow from his hand, if she loves him enough, a woman may forgive, in
time half forget—some women (the weakest type and the strongest)—but
“must” never.
Helen Bransby smiled, and looked up at Pryde squarely, with a sigh of
resignation—and of something else too. “Oh! if you must know now, if I
‘must’ tell you, I must.” Then the longing in his face smote her, and
the thought of her father quickened her gentleness, as it always did,
and she stayed her sting. “Are you certain,” she concluded earnestly,
almost kindly, “that it was Daddy’s wish that we should be married—you
and I?”
“Quite certain,” Pryde answered in a firm voice. But his hands were
trembling.
“I want to do everything he wanted,” Helen said wistfully.
The man turned away, even took a few steps from her, to grapple a moment
with his own mad emotion. He felt victory in his grasp—victory hot on
his craven fear, victory after despair, victory after hunger and thirst.
He swung round and came back reaching towards her—his face
transfigured, his voice clarion sweet, his eyes flashing, _and_
brimming. “Helen——”
She motioned him back. “Oh, don’t misunderstand me. I can’t do this. I
told Daddy, when he was here, that it was Hugh or no one for me. Even to
please him then I couldn’t change. I can’t change now.”
“And Hugh—that’s the only reason?” Pryde persisted doggedly. But he
spoke breathlessly now, for a fear had chilled in on his ardor: did she
suspect him? had she found anything? What had she and Latham said to
each other? “Is that the only reason, Helen?” he besought her again.
“Yes,” she replied, considering him gravely.
“Then perhaps in time,” he begged.
She rose impatiently and crossed to another seat, speaking as she went.
His nearness annoyed her.
“No, Stephen, never.”
He blanched, but again he would have spoken, but Helen gave him no time.
“Now, please,” she said very clearly, “leave me here for a little
while—I want to be alone _here_.”
“No,” he exclaimed peremptorily, with sudden fear. “No, I can’t leave
you here—not in this room, anywhere else, but not here. This room is
bad for you. Come.”
“You are to go,” she told him quietly, “and now, please.”
“Why—why do you want to be alone—here?” he pleaded.
She answered him gently. “Just to think of Daddy. You know I haven’t
been here since——”
His love, his tenderness reasserted his manhood then. “Of
course—forgive me—I understand—I did not mean to speak sharply—but I
hate to see you grieve so.” For a moment he stood looking down on her
bowed head. Then he just touched her hand—it lay on the back of her
chair—lingeringly, reverently, and said again as he went from the room,
“I hate to see you grieve so.”
The girl sat bowed and brooding. After a time she rose and moved about
the familiar place, touching old trifles, recalling old scenes. She
stood a long time by the bookcase gazing at the volumes he had loved and
handled, peering with brimming eyes at their well-known titles. She did
not touch the jade Joss, but she lingered at it longest, choking,
trembling. Then her face cleared—transfigured. A rapt look came over
it—a look of love, longing, great expectation. Men have turned such
looks to the bride of an hour. Mothers have bent such looks on the babe
first, and new come, at their breast. She reached out her young arms in
acceptance, obedience, greeting, entreaty—and said to the air—to the
room—“I’m here, Daddy. I’m here.”