As we read that a West Point hotel-keeper has recently dismissed all
his waiters who would not shave off their mustaches, we must begin
to believe that the heretofore heedless American is considering the
appearance of his house and carriage-servants. In the early days of
the republic, before Thomas Jefferson tied his horse's rein to the
palings of the fence and sauntered into the Capitol to be
inaugurated, the aristocrats of the various cities had a livery for
their servants. But after such a dash of cold water in the face of
established usage by the Chief Magistrate of the Country, many of
the old forms and customs of Colonial times fell into disuse, and
among others the wearing of a livery by serving-men. A constantly
declining grade of shabbiness was the result of this, as the driver
of the horses wore a coat and hat of the same style as his master,
only less clean and new. Like many of our American ideas so good in
theory, the outcome of this attempt at "Liberty, Equality, and
Fraternity," was neither conducive to neatness nor elegance.
But so strongly was the prejudice against liveries instilled into
the public mind that only seven years ago a gentleman of the most
aristocratic circle of aristocratic Philadelphia declared that he
refrained from having a liveried servant behind his carriage from
fear of shocking public opinion. In New York the presence of a
large, foreign, social element long ago brought about a revulsion of
opinion in this matter, and now most persons who desire a neat,
plain, and appropriate style of dress for their coachmen and footmen
put them in a livery, for which the master pays. Those who are
particular in such matters do not allow a waiter or a footman to
wear a mustache, and require all men-servants to be clean-shaven,
except the coachman, who is permitted to wear whiskers. Each must
have his hair cut short, and the waiter must wear white gloves while
waiting at table or when handing refreshments; even a glass of water
on a silver salver must be brought with a gloved hand.
Many ladies have much trouble in impressing upon their men-servants
the necessity for personal neatness. The ordinary attire of a butler
is a black dress-coat, with white cravat and white cotton gloves. A
waiter who attends the door in a large establishment, and who is one
of many servants, is usually in a quiet livery--a frock-coat with
brass buttons, and a striped waistcoat. Some families affect the
scarlet waistcoat for their footman, which, indeed, may be used with
very good effect for the negro servant.
Neatness is indispensable; a slovenly and inattentive servant
betrays a slovenly household. Yet servants often do their employers
great injustice. They are slow to respond to the bell, they give
uncivil answers, they deny one person and admit another, they fail
to deliver notes, they are insolent, they neglect the orders of the
mistress when she is out. We cannot expect perfection in our
domestic service, but it is possible, by painstaking and patient
teaching, to create a respectable and helpful serving class.
Servants are very apt to take their tone from their employers--to be
civil if they are civil, and insolent if they are insolent. The head
of the house is very apt to be copied by his flunkies. One primal
law we must mention--a hostess should never reprove her servants in
the presence of her guests; it is cruel both to guest and servant,
and always shows the hostess in an unamiable light. Whatever may go
wrong, the lady of the house should remain calm; if she is
anguished, who can be happy?
We have not here, nominally, that helpful treasure known in England
as the parlor-maid. We call her a waitress, and expect her to do all
the work of one floor. Such a person can be trained by a good
housekeeper to be a most admirable servant. She must be told to rise
early, to attend to the sweeping of the door-steps, to open the
blinds, to light the fires, and to lay the breakfast-table. She must
appear in a neat calico dress, white apron and cap, and wait upon
the family at breakfast. After breakfast, the gentlemen will expect
her to brush their hats, to bring overcoats and overshoes, and to
find the umbrellas. She must answer the door-bell as well, so should
be nimble-footed and quick-witted. When breakfast is over, she must
remove the dishes and wash them, clean the silver, and prepare for
the next meal. In well-regulated households there is a day for
sweeping, a day for silver cleaning, a clay for mirror-polishing,
and another for making bright and neat the fireplaces; but each one
of these duties requires a certain share of attention every day. The
parlor must be dusted, and the fires attended to, of course, so the
parlor-maid, or the waitress, in a large family has much to do. The
best girls for this arduous situation are English, but they are very
difficult to procure. The Germans are not apt to remain long with
one family. The best available parlor-maids are Irishwomen who have
lived some time in this country.
A servant often sins from ignorance, therefore time spent in
teaching her is not wasted. She should be supplied with such
utensils as facilitate work, and one very good house-keeper declares
that the virtue of a waitress depends upon an infinity of crash. And
there is no doubt that a large supply of towels is a constant
suggestion of cleanliness that is a great moral support to a
waitress.
In these days, when parlors are filled with bric-
-brac, a parlor-
maid has no time to do laundry-work, except such part of it as may
pertain to her personally. The best of all arrangements is to hire a
laundress, who will do all the washing of the house. Even in a very
economical household this has been found to be the best plan,
otherwise there is always an unexplained delay when the bell rings.
The appearance at the door of a dishevelled maid, with arms covered
with soapsuds, is not ornamental. If a cook can be found who will
also undertake to do the washing and ironing, it is a better and
more satisfactory arrangement. But in our growing prosperity this
functionary has assumed new and extraordinary importance, and will
do nothing but cook.
A young house-keeper beginning her life in a great city finds
herself frequently confronted with the necessity of having four
servants--a cook, a laundress, a waiter or parlor-maid (sometimes
both), and a chamber-maid. None of these excellent auxiliaries is
willing to do the other's work: they generally quarrel. So the first
experience of house-keeping is not agreeable. But it is possible to
find two servants who, if properly trained, will do all the service
of a small family, and do it well.
The mistress must carefully define the work of each, or else hire
them with the understanding that neither shall ever say, "This is
not my work." It is sometimes quite impossible to define what is the
exact duty of each servant. Our house-keeping in this country is so
chaotic, and our frequent changes of house and fortune cause it to
partake so much of the nature of a provisional government, that
every woman must be a Louis Napoleon, and ready for a _coup d'tat_
at any moment.
The one thing which every lady must firmly demand from her servants
is respect. The harassed and troubled American woman who has to cope
with the worst servants in the world--the ill-trained, incapable,
and vicious peasantry of Europe, who come here to be "as good as
anybody," and who see that it is easily possible to make a living in
America whether they are respectful or not--that woman has a very
arduous task to perform.
But she must gain at least outward respect by insisting upon having
it, and by showing her servants that she regards it as even a
greater desideratum than the efficient discharge of duties. The
mistress must not lose her temper. She must be calm, imperturbable,
and dignified, always. If she gives an order, she must insist, at
whatever personal cost, that it shall be obeyed. Pertinacity and
inflexibility on this point are well bestowed.
Where there are children, the nurse is, of course, a most important
part of the household, and often gives more trouble than any of the
other servants, for she is usually an elderly person, impatient of
control, and "set in her ways." The mistress must make her obey at
once. Nurses are only human, and can be made to conform to the rules
by which humanity is governed.
Ladies have adopted for their nurses the French style of dress--dark
stuff gowns, white aprons, and caps. French nurses are, indeed, very
much the fashion, as it is deemed all-important that children should
learn to speak French as soon as they can articulate. But it is so
difficult to find a French nurse who will speak the truth that many
mothers have renounced the accomplished Gaul and hired the Anglo-
Saxon, who is often not more veracious.
No doubt there was better service when servants were fewer, and when
the mistress looked well after the ways of her household, and
performed certain domestic duties herself. In those early days it
was she who made the best pastry and sweetmeats. It was she who
wrought at the quilting-frame and netted the best bed-curtains. It
was she who darned the table-cloth, with a neatness and exactness
that made the very imperfection a beauty. It was she who made the
currant wine and the blackberry cordial. She knew all the secrets of
clear starching, and taught the ignorant how to do their work
through her educated intelligence. She had, however, native
Americans to teach, and not Irish, Germans, or Swedes. Now, few
native-born Americans will become servants, and the difficulties of
the mistress are thereby increased.
A servant cannot be too carefully taught her duty to visitors.
Having first ascertained whether her mistress is at home or not, in
order to save a lady the trouble of alighting from her carriage, she
should answer the ring of the door-bell without loss of time. She
should treat all callers with respect and civility, but at the same
time she should be able to discriminate between friend and foe, and
not unwarily admit those innumerable cheats, frauds, and beggars
who, in a respectable garb, force an entrance to one's house for the
purpose of theft, or perhaps to sell a cement for broken crockery,
or the last thing in hair-dye.
Conscientious servants who comprehend their duties, and who try to
perform them, should, after a certain course of discipline, be
allowed to follow their own methods of working. Interference and
fault-finding injure the temper of an inferior; while suspicion is
bad for anybody, and especially operates against the making of a
good servant.
To assure your servants that you believe them to be honest is to fix
in them the habit of honesty. To respect their rights, their hours
of recreation, their religion, their feelings, to wish them good-
night and good-morning (after the pretty German fashion), to assist
them in the writing of their letters and in the proper investment of
their earnings, to teach them to read and write and to make their
clothes, so that they may be useful to themselves when they leave
servitude--all this is the pleasurable duty of a good mistress, and
such a course makes good servants.
All ignorant natures seek a leader; all servants like to be
commanded by a strong, honest, fair, judicious mistress. They seek
her praise; they fear her censure, not as slaves dread the whip of
the tyrant, but as soldiers respect their superior officer. Bad
temper, injustice, and tyranny make eye-service, but not heart-
service.
Irresolute persons who do not know their own minds, and cannot
remember their own orders, make very poor masters and mistresses. It
is better that they should give up the business of house-keeping,
and betake themselves to the living in hotels or boarding-houses
with which our English cousins taunt us, little knowing that the
nomadic life they condemn is the outcome of their own failure to
make good citizens of those offscourings of jail and poorhouse and
Irish shanty which they send to us under the guise of domestic
servants.
Familiarity with servants always arouses their contempt; a mistress
can be kind without being familiar. She must remember that the
servant looks up to her over the great gulf of a different condition
of life and habit--over the great gulf of ignorance, and that, in
the order of nature, she should respect not only the person in
authority, but the being, as superior to herself. This salutary
influence is thrown away if the mistress descend to familiarity and
intimacy. Certain weak mistresses vary their attitude towards their
servants, first assuming a familiarity of manner which is
disgusting, and which the servant does not mistake for kindness, and
then a tyrannical severity which is as unreasonable as the
familiarity, and, like it, is only a spasm of an ill-regulated mind.
Servants should wear thin shoes in the house, and be told to step
lightly, not to slam doors, or drop china, or to rattle forks and
spoons. A quiet servant is the most certain of domestic blessings.
Neatness, good manners, and faithfulness have often insured a stupid
servant of no great efficiency a permanent home with a family. If to
these qualities be added a clear head, an active body, and a
respectful manner, we have that rare article--a perfect servant.