When the club secretary first wrote and told me that it was proposed
to acquire two pictures (one Naval and one Military), which were
to hang in the club as worthy reminders of the Great War to future
generations--when he wrote and told me this, and suggested (apparently
as an afterthought) that a cheque from me would further the project, I
was content to keep the matter in view.
When he wrote, some months later, and told it me all over again,
accompanying the afterthought on this occasion with a printed
subscription form, I took the trouble to reply, letting him know that
I was keeping the matter in view.
When he wrote a third time, affording me a glimpse of the guileless
faith he had in me, I felt genuinely sorry for the poor chap.
He said there were many possible reasons to account for the
non-arrival of my cheque. I might, for example, be abroad, somewhere
out of reach of postal facilities, or perhaps the cheque had been
lost in the post. Of one thing only he was sure--there had been no
parsimonious intent on my part.
I was able in some sort to relieve his mind of anxiety by mentioning
that I was still a resident at the address in Cheshire under which I
last wrote to him. I even assured him that, so long as my tailor did
not forsake his present attitude of friendly remonstrance, it was
improbable that I should proceed abroad. Nor had I as yet any reason
to suspect that great public institution, the post. The fact was that
I still had the matter in view.
As regards the pictures, I said that I had a friend who was in
love with the daughter of an A.R.A., and who, in telling me about
a financial controversy between himself and his prospective
father-in-law, had let slip the information that a slump in artists'
prices was imminent. In view of this I suggested that the agreement
with the artists commissioned by the club should for the present be a
verbal one and elastic in its wording.
In the last part of my letter I reviewed the history of my own
connection with the club, covering a period of five years. I recalled
the epoch-making day when I received my first letter from Mr.
Secretary--a letter acquainting me of the fact that I was a full-blown
member--all but, at least. What was thirty guineas? And each year
since then, I reminded him, I had disbursed a further ten guineas
without a murmur.
On the other side of the account I showed in tabulated form all the
change the club had given back:
_d._
Use of soap, 1916 0-1/2
Laundering of towel, ditto 3
Use of soap, 1919 1
Laundering of towel, ditto 3
Fifty per cent. excess for ditto 1-1/2
Stolen: Three matches, one tooth-pick 0-1/4
----
Total 9-1/4
I pleaded a moral right to dispose of the balance. I suggested that
seventy-three pounds nine shillings and twopence three-farthings
(waiving the question of interest) might be sufficient to buy a third
War picture, the interior of a Government office during the tea-hour,
or something of that sort. I begged that he would lay the matter
before the Committee.
I am not very hopeful about my letter. Probably he has spent that
seventy-three pounds odd already on stationery and postage-stamps.
I think that, if it finds its way into print, I may send him half the
proceeds of this article. No harm in keeping the matter in view, at
all events.
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