Many days had now passed away since Mr Primrose had left Neverden and
Smatterton, and since Robert Darnley had expressed his resolution
to make prompt inquiry into the cause of the interruption of the
correspondence between Penelope and himself. There had arrived no
intelligence from the young gentleman: but Mr Primrose began now to
think that he himself had not done right in listening and yielding to
the delicate scruples of his daughter. The father of Penelope was of
that complexion of mind that, under similar circumstances, he would
have thanked any one for removing any misunderstanding, even had it
been the lady herself.
He knew that Robert Darnley had not been the wilful cause of breaking
off the correspondence, and he knew also that his own daughter had
not neglected to answer the letters which she had received. He knew
that the parties were attached to each other, and he had learned from
Penelope herself that there was no foundation for the story of her
attachment to Lord Spoonbill. Now what should prevent him from writing
to Neverden to inform the young gentleman of this fact? He thought that
it would be an act of kindness to both parties. Nevertheless, it should
be observed, that Mr Primrose was not one of those terribly kind people
who force their kindness upon one, whether we like it or not, as the
man who beat his wife and said, "It is all for your good, my dear."
When therefore he was fully satisfied that it would be but an act of
kindness to his daughter to remove the mystery from the mind of Robert
Darnley, he did not take this step without first consulting her for
whose benefit such step was to be taken. At breakfast he said to
Penelope:
"So, my dear, my excursion into the City was to no purpose last night.
I find that I must make an earlier visit, and therefore I shall go
again to-day. I hope and trust I may find matters not quite so bad as
I first anticipated. And I think that you need not be in a very great
hurry to engage in this profession. I cannot say I like patronage. But
why should not we take some steps to let Robert Darnley know that the
breaking off the correspondence was not your act? I think I ought to
write to him. Indeed I almost promised that I would. Very likely he may
be waiting till he hears from me."
"My dear father," exclaimed Penelope, "you surely would not think of
such a step as that. It would be exceedingly indelicate, and might
expose me to contempt. Mr Darnley knows that I am in London, and if
he were at all disposed to renew the correspondence, or to have an
explanation of the cause of its interruption, he would either have
written or have made his appearance in town. Knowing that I was at Lord
Smatterton's, it was no difficult matter to write to me; for the letter
would be sure to find me, if directed under cover to his lordship."
"But, my dear child," interrupted Mr Primrose, "I think he expects to
hear from me; for I recollect now having said something to that effect."
"But after this long interval, if Mr Darnley were really anxious, and
at all concerned about me, he would have written to press you to the
performance of your promise."
"He might have done so to be sure," said her father, slowly and
thoughtfully, and then, as if recollecting himself, he continued in a
livelier and quicker tone; "but perhaps, as he has not heard from me,
he takes it for granted that you really were desirous of dropping the
correspondence; and so after all you will appear to him as the person
by whose act and deed the acquaintance has ceased."
"And what will he, or can he think," rejoined Penelope, "if, under
present circumstances, there should be on my part an effort made to
renew the acquaintance? No, no; let the matter rest. Even if you did
promise to write first, you may be sure that he would not have waited
patiently all this while in expectation of hearing from you. He might
naturally enough suppose that I should object to having overtures made
as from me; and if he had a real regard for me, we should have heard
from him by this time. My attachment to Mr Darnley was founded on the
qualities and endowments of the mind, and if I were deceived as to
them, that attachment will soon die away."
"Upon my word, child," said Mr Primrose, "I really do not think you
have any regard for Mr Darnley. You are certainly captivated by this
Lord Spoonbill."
This was said by Mr Primrose not angrily, but with a tone of mock
reproach. Penelope shuddered at the allusion to Lord Spoonbill; but she
endeavoured to conceal her emotion as much as possible, lest she should
be under the necessity of informing her father of the proposal which
his lordship had made her the day before.
While this conversation was passing between Mr Primrose and his
daughter, another scene was passing at the town mansion of the Earl of
Smatterton, where his lordship and family had arrived on the preceding
day. Parliament was about to meet after the prorogation. On such
occasions his lordship's magnificence swelled out to most extraordinary
dimensions. Then did he bethink himself that he was one of those who
held in his hand the destiny of the British empire; and, when the
postman brought letters from divers parts of the kingdom, his lordship
felt himself to be the centre to which many minds were directing their
most anxious thoughts. The letters were handed to his lordship on a
silver tray. The servant who brought them swelled with importance,
and even the silver tray shone with unusual brightness beneath its
important burden.
"It is very fatiguing," his lordship would sometimes say, "to have
anything to do with public business. I often envy the obscurity of
humble station. There is peace and quietness in the lowly valley."
This, together with much more pompous sentimentality of the same kind,
his lordship would utter when an unusual number of letters were brought
to him. On the morning to which we now refer the number of letters was
great, and they were spread on the table by his important lordship's
own right honorable hands. The contents of some he anticipated, and of
others he uttered his conjectures.
"Oh! here are two from Smatterton," exclaimed his lordship: "one,
I see, is from Kipperson: that Kipperson is really a man of some
talent; he has very just views of things. This letter from Kipperson
is of course on private business, which must be postponed to the more
important affairs which concern the destiny of the empire. But from
whom can this other letter come? I have no other correspondent there,
except my cousin Letitia, and this is not her writing."
Then his lordship looked very knowingly at the letter again. But all
this speechification was perfectly needless; for if he wished to know
from whom the letter came, he had nothing to do but to open it; and
till he did open it he was not likely to know anything about it. After
a full share of idle wonderment, his lordship took the envelope off
the mysterious letter, and found that it was addressed to Mr Primrose.
Thereat his lordship was angry, and expressed great astonishment at the
liberty thus taken with his right honorable name. On looking again at
the cover he discerned a few lines of apology, bearing the signature
of Robert Darnley, and stating that the liberty had been taken because
the writer did not know the gentleman's address, and because he also
understood that Mr Primrose's daughter was under his lordship's roof.
"And how am I to know the gentleman's address?" exclaimed his
lordship with a most magnificent air.
But the Countess, who had been informed by Lord Spoonbill that Penelope
had the intention of returning to undergo her ladyship's patronage, did
not feel quite so angry as her lord, but suggested that the young lord
had seen Mr Primrose, and knew the name of the hotel where he lodged.
"Certainly," said Lord Spoonbill, "I will take care of it." And he
forthwith laid hands upon the letter. Lord Smatterton then added, "I
beg that Mr Primrose may be immediately recommended to make known his
address to Mr Darnley, that this liberty may not be taken again."
When Lord Spoonbill had possession of this letter he forthwith began
to think how he should dispose of it. He was not quite sure, though
it came from Robert Darnley to Mr Primrose, that it must of necessity
discourse concerning love and Penelope. When his lordship therefore in
his own apartment sat muttering over the letter, and wondering what it
could contain, there was some little more reason for his doubts and
wonderments than for those of Lord Smatterton over the unopened cover
addressed to himself. The letter in possession of Lord Spoonbill was
not addressed to himself, and therefore he had no right to open it,
however deeply he might feel interested in its contents.
He took up the letter, and looked at the direction and at the seal;
and he endeavoured to conjecture on what other subject than that of
Penelope Mr Darnley could write to Mr Primrose. Then did his lordship
poke his right honorable finger and thumb into the open sides of the
letter, endeavouring to catch a glimpse of a word or two that might
help him over the difficulties of conjecture. But the letter was so
very ingeniously folded that not a single word could be seen. Hereupon,
incredible as it may appear, his lordship was in a very great wrath,
and was offended with the insolence of Robert Darnley, who had taken
such pains to fold his letter, as if he had a suspicion that any
individual of Lord Smatterton's family should have the meanness to look
into it. This curious mode of folding the letter induced his lordship
to make another and another attempt to read a line or a word. But
nothing could be seen. Now, in the progress of these repeated efforts
at investigation, the letter was so much disfigured that his lordship,
with all his ingenuity, could not make it look like itself again.
Another difficulty now arose: for his lordship was ashamed to send it
in so questionable a shape; and should he send or make any apology, he
must tell something very much like a lie, and perhaps by his clumsiness
in apologizing create a suspicion of the real fact. Perplexed and
undecided, he thrust the letter into his pocket and walked out.
Lord Spoonbill must have been very much attached to Miss Primrose to
take all this trouble, and to expose himself to so many annoyances
on her account; and the worst of the matter was that he could not,
in making his visit to the young lady, quote all these instances of
mortification and self-denial as illustrations and proofs of his
devotedness to her. He could not tell her that, for her sake, he had
stooped to meannesses of which any other man would have been ashamed.
He could not tell her that, in order to place her in the enviable
rank of nobility, he had intercepted her letters and had corrupted
the integrity of Nick Muggins, the Smatterton post-boy. By the way we
cannot help remarking, that Muggins was much to blame for accepting
a bribe to betray his trust. But the love of gold is an universal
passion, it is not confined to any one class or condition of human
life; it influences the high and the low, the rich and the poor, the
learned and the unlearned;
"In peace it tunes the shepherd's reed,
In war it mounts the warrior's steed,
In halls in gay attire 'tis seen,
In hamlets dances on the green;
It rules the court, the camp, the grove,
And men below and gentlemen above."
But to return to our enamoured hereditary legislator. He was walking,
he scarcely knew whither, with Robert Darnley's letter in his pocket;
and he was meditating most perplexedly on the various events of human
life, on those at least which concerned himself, and he thought that he
had been acting very much like a fool, and he felt very much inclined
to make a mighty effort to act like a wise man. But wisdom is not an
extemporaneous production of a fool's head. It required something more
than a volition to change the whole tenor of the conduct.
In his resolution to act more wisely, the Right Honorable Lord
Spoonbill made with himself this stipulation, namely, that at all
events, and by any means honorable, or dishonorable, he must have Miss
Primrose; for it was absolutely impossible that he could live without
her. It was therefore no easy matter for his lordship so to manage
matters as to gain Miss Primrose at all events, and yet to act as a
man of honor. For here was in his pocket a letter, which, as a man of
honor, he ought immediately to hand over to Mr Primrose; and yet he
very strongly suspected, that if the said letter should come into the
possession of the person to whom it was addressed, it would be most
probably the means of placing an insuperable objection in the way of
his lordship's designs. It also entered into the mind of the meditating
young gentleman that, if the acquaintance between Miss Primrose and
Robert Darnley should be renewed, there might be some talk about the
letters which had not reached their destination, and there might be
made some enquiries. And what if, after all, Nick Muggins should turn
traitor! Who could tell what influences fear or hope might exercise
over the uncivilized post-boy of Smatterton?
Instruction being a much more important object than amusement, we
feel ourselves bound to direct the attention of our readers to the
instruction which may be derived from the fact here alluded to. Here
is political instruction and personal instruction. We do not believe
a word of the idle prating that some political greenhorns make about
secret service money; but we do believe that many of those politicians,
and they are not a few, who mistake cunning for wisdom, frequently
become entangled in nets of their own weaving, and fall into pits
of their own digging. To play the rogue with perfect success, is a
perfection almost beyond the reach of ordinary humanity: for they, who
have talent and power to do so, are generally too wise to possess the
inclination, and they who are weak enough to possess the inclination,
are in nine cases out of ten too clumsy to carry it on with perfect
success. And the worst of it is, that they must make use of tools which
are either too strong to be managed, or too weak to be depended on.
This is also a lesson of instruction to persons in private life,
especially to those who have nothing to do but to live on the fruits
of their grandfather's industry, or their great grandfather's roguery;
for it teaches them that, if they will pursue those ends which are
dishonorable, they must also make use of dishonorable means; and they
will very frequently be placed in very uncomfortable and mortifying
situations.
Now, however willing Lord Spoonbill might have been to suffer the
letter in his possession to reach its proper destination, he found that
he could not send it without exposing his former meanness to the risk
of detection, and in all probability defeating the end which he had
in view in intercepting the letters which were passing between Miss
Primrose and Robert Darnley. In such perplexity, his lordship walked
from one street to another till he found himself at a very considerable
distance from Mr Primrose's hotel.