RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the
affairs of to-day.
RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ
that a scientist is a fool with.
RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get
away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose
the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits
him to make the transit with great expedition.
RAMSHACKLE, adj. Pertaining to a certain order of architecture,
otherwise known as the Normal American. Most of the public buildings
of the United States are of the Ramshackle order, though some of our
earlier architects preferred the Ironic. Recent additions to the
White House in Washington are Theo-Doric, the ecclesiastic order of
the Dorians. They are exceedingly fine and cost one hundred dollars a
brick.
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seen by toads. The
charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a
measuring-worm.
REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain
in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.
REALLY, adv. Apparently.
REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army
that is nearest to Congress.
REASON, v.i. To weigh probabilities in the scales of desire.
REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.
REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions.
Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion.
REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish
it.
RECOLLECT, v. To recall with additions something not previously
known.
RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for
the purpose of digging up the dead.
RECONSIDER, v. To seek a justification for a decision already made.
RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded
to the player against whom they are loaded.
RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general
fatigue.
RECRUIT, n. A person distinguishable from a civilian by his uniform
and from a soldier by his gait.
Fresh from the farm or factory or street,
His marching, in pursuit or in retreat,
Were an impressive martial spectacle
Except for two impediments--his feet.