The Biographical Alphabet

MEERSCHAUM, n. (Literally, seafoam, and by many erroneously supposed

to be made of it.) A fine white clay, which for convenience in

coloring it brown is made into tobacco pipes and smoked by the workmen

engaged in that industry. The purpose of coloring it has not been

disclosed by the manufacturers.

There was a youth (you've heard before,

This woeful tale, may be),

Who bought a meerschaum pipe and swore

That color it would he!

He shut himself from the world away,

Nor any soul he saw.

He smoked by night, he smoked by day,

As hard as he could draw.

His dog died moaning in the wrath

Of winds that blew aloof;

The weeds were in the gravel path,

The owl was on the roof.

"He's gone afar, he'll come no more,"

The neighbors sadly say.

And so they batter in the door

To take his goods away.

Dead, pipe in mouth, the youngster lay,

Nut-brown in face and limb.

"That pipe's a lovely white," they say,

"But it has colored him!"

The moral there's small need to sing--

'Tis plain as day to you:

Don't play your game on any thing

That is a gamester too.

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