ILLUMINATI, n. A sect of Spanish heretics of the latter part of the
sixteenth century; so called because they were light weights--
_cunctationes illuminati_.
ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and
detraction.
IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint
ownership.
IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting
censorious critics of this dictionary.
IMMIGRANT, n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better
than another.
IMMODEST, adj. Having a strong sense of one's own merit, coupled with
a feeble conception of worth in others.
There was once a man in Ispahan
Ever and ever so long ago,
And he had a head, the phrenologists said,
That fitted him for a show.
For his modesty's bump was so large a lump
(Nature, they said, had taken a freak)
That its summit stood far above the wood
Of his hair, like a mountain peak.
So modest a man in all Ispahan,
Over and over again they swore--
So humble and meek, you would vainly seek;
None ever was found before.
Meantime the hump of that awful bump
Into the heavens contrived to get
To so great a height that they called the wight
The man with the minaret.
There wasn't a man in all Ispahan
Prouder, or louder in praise of his chump:
With a tireless tongue and a brazen lung
He bragged of that beautiful bump
Till the Shah in a rage sent a trusty page
Bearing a sack and a bow-string too,
And that gentle child explained as he smiled:
"A little present for you."
The saddest man in all Ispahan,
Sniffed at the gift, yet accepted the same.
"If I'd lived," said he, "my humility
Had given me deathless fame!"