HEAVEN, n. A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with
talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention
while you expound your own.
HEBREW, n. A male Jew, as distinguished from the Shebrew, an
altogether superior creation.
HELPMATE, n. A wife, or bitter half.
"Now, why is yer wife called a helpmate, Pat?"
Says the priest. "Since the time 'o yer wooin'
She's niver assisted in what ye were at--
For it's naught ye are ever doin'."
"That's true of yer Riverence," Patrick replies,
And no sign of contrition envinces;
"But, bedad, it's a fact which the word implies,
For she helps to mate the expinses!"