HOPES AND EXPECTATIONS--DREAMS AND DAY DREAMS--THE VINE--ELSPETH--MY
GREAT-GRANDFATHER.
My father was brought up chiefly by his mother's relations. The
religious question was always a difficulty as regarded the de
Vandaleurs, and I fancy extended to my own case. My guardians were not
my great-grandparents, but Major Buller, and Mr. Arkwright, a clergyman
of the Church of England. My great-grandfather and great-grandmother
were Roman Catholics. Though not my appointed guardians, they were my
nearest relations, and when my great-grandmother had held out her little
hand towards me over the side of the pony-carriage and said, "You will
let the child come to me? Soon, very soon?" Major Buller had taken her
hand in both his, and replied very cordially, "Of course, my dear madam,
of course. Whenever it is convenient to yourself and to Mr. de
Vandaleur."
And this promise had stirred my heart with such a flutter of happy
expectation as I had not felt since I persuaded my father to promise
that I should dine with him, all alone, like a grown-up lady, on that
sad birthday on which he died.
It is perhaps useless to try and find reasons for the fancy I took to
the "Duchess"--as Aunt Theresa called her--since it was allowed that she
fascinated every one who came near her. With the bright qualities which
made her admirable in herself, she combined the gracious art of putting
other people at ease with themselves; and, remembering how sore the
wounds of a child's self-love are, I think that her kindness must have
been very skilful to make me forgive myself for that folly of the
looking-glass enough to forget myself in admiration of her.
Like most children, I was given to hero and heroine worship. I admired
more than one lady of Aunt Theresa's acquaintance, and had been
fascinated by some others whom I did not know, but had only seen in
church, and had longed for the time when I also should no longer trip
about in short and simple skirts, and tie up my curls with a ribbon, but
should sweep grandly and languidly in to the parade service, bury half a
pew under the festoons and furbelows of my silk dress and velvet
trimmings, sink into a nest of matchless millinery for the Litany, scent
the air with patchouli as I rose for the hymn, examine the other ladies'
bonnets through one of those eyeglasses which are supposed to make it no
longer rude to stare, and fan myself from the fatigues of the service
during the sermon.
But even the dignity of grown-updom embellished by pretty faces and
splendid costumes did not stir my imagination as it was stirred by the
sight of my great-grandmother and by the history of her life. It was
like seeing the princess of a fairy tale with one's very own eyes. The
faces of the fine ladies I had envied were a little apt to be insipid
in expression, and to pass from the memory; but my great-grandmother's
quick, bright, earnest face was not easily to be forgotten. I made up my
mind that when I grew up I would not wear a large _chignon_ after all,
nor a bonnet full of flowers, nor a dress full of flounces, but a rather
short skirt and buckled shoes and grey curls, and a big hat with many
bows, and a green satin driving-cloak lined with fur.
How any one, blessed with grown-up freedom of choice, could submit to be
driven about by a coach-man in a big carriage, as highly stuffed and
uninteresting as a first-class railway carriage, when it was possible to
drive one's self in a sort of toy-cart with a dear white pony as shaggy
as a dog, I could not understand. I well knew which I should choose, and
I thought so much of it that I remember dreaming that my
great-grandmother had presented me with a pony and chaise the
counterpart of her own. The dream-joy of this acquisition, and the pride
of driving up to the Bullers' door and offering to take Matilda for an
expedition, was only marred by one of those freaks which spoil the
pleasure of so many dreams. Just as Matilda appeared, full of gratitude,
and with a picnic luncheon in a basket, I became conscious that I was in
my night-gown, and had forgotten to dress. Again and again I tried to go
back in my dream and put on suitable clothes. I never accomplished it,
and only woke in the effort.
In sober daylight I indulged no hope that Mrs. Vandaleur would give me a
carriage and pony for my very own, but I did hope that I should go out
in hers if ever I went to stay with her. Perhaps sometimes alone,
driving myself, with only the rosy-cheeked Adolphe to open the gates and
deliver me from any unexpected difficulties with the reins. But I
dreamed many a day-dream of the possible delights in store for me with
my new-found relatives, and almost counted the hours on the Duchess's
watch till she should send for me.
As it happened, however, circumstances combined for some little time to
hinder me from visiting my great-grandmother.
The little Bullers and I had the measles; and when we were all
convalescent, Major Buller got two months' leave, and we went away for
change of air. Then small-pox prevailed in Riflebury, and we were kept
away, even after Major Buller returned to his duties. When we did
return, before a visit to the Vandaleurs could be arranged, Adolphe fell
ill of scarlet fever, and the fear of contagion postponed my visit for
some time.
I was eight years old when I went to stay at The Vine. This was the name
of the little cottage where my great-grandparents lived--so called
because of an old vine which covered the south wall on one side of the
porch, and crept over a framework upon the roof. I do not now remember
how many pounds of grapes it had been known to produce in one season,
and yet I ought not to have forgotten, for it was a subject on which my
great-grandfather, my great-grandmother, Adolphe, and Elspeth constantly
boasted.
"And if they don't just ripen as the master says they do in France, it's
all for the best," said Elspeth; "for ripe grapes would be picked all
along, and the house not a penny the better for them. But green-grape
tarts and cream are just eating for a king."
Elspeth was "general servant" at my great-grandmother's. Her aunt Mary
had come from Scotland to serve "Miss Victoire" when she first married.
As Mary's health failed, and she grew old, her young niece was sent for
to work under her. Old Mary died with her hands in my great-grandmother's,
and Elspeth reigned in her stead.
Elspeth was an elderly woman when I first made her acquaintance. She had
a broad, bright, sensible face, and a kindly smile that won me to her.
She wore frilled caps, tied under her chin; and as to exchanging them
for "the fly-away bits of things servants stick on their heads at the
present time," Elspeth would as soon have thought of abandoning the
faith of her fathers. She was a strict but not bitter Presbyterian. She
was not tall, and she was very broad; her apparent width being increased
by the very broad linen collars which spread, almost like a cape, over
her ample shoulders.
My great-grandmother had an anecdote of me connected with this, which
she was fond of relating.
"And what do you think of Elspeth, little one?" she had said to me on
the first evening of my visit.
"I think she's very big," was my reply.
"Certainly, our good Elspeth is as wide as she is tall," said my
great-grandfather, laughing.
I wondered if this were so; and when my great-grandmother gave me a
little yard-measure in a wooden castle, which had taken my fancy among
the treasures of her work-box, the idea seized me of measuring Elspeth
for my own satisfaction on the point. But the silken measure slipped,
and caught on the battlements of the castle, and I lost my place in
counting the figures, and at last was fain to ask Elspeth herself.
"How tall are you, Elspeth, please? As much as a yard?"
"Ou aye, my dear," said Elspeth, who was deeply engaged in darning a
very large hole in one of my great-grandfather's socks.
"As much as two yards?" I inquired.
"Eh, no, my dearie," said Elspeth. "That wad be six feet; and I'm not
just that tall, though my father was six feet and six inches."
"How broad are you, Elspeth, please?" I persisted. "As much as a yard?"
"I'm thinking I will be, my dear," said Elspeth, "for it takes the full
width of a coloured cotton to cut me a dress-front, and then it's not
over-big."
"Are you as broad as two yards, do you think?" I said, drawing my ribbon
to its full length from the castle, and considering the question.
Elspeth shook her head. She was biting the end off a piece of
darning-cotton; but I rightly concluded that she would not confess to
being two yards wide.
"Please, I have measured Elspeth," I announced over the tea-table, "and
grandpapa is quite right."
"Eh?" said Mr. Vandaleur, who had a trick of requiring observations to
be repeated to him by his wife.
"She says that she has measured Elspeth, and that you are right," said
my great-grandmother. "But about what is grandpapa right, my little
one?"
"Grandpapa said that Elspeth is as wide as she is tall," I explained.
"And so she is, for I measured her--at least, the ribbon would slip when
I measured her, so I asked her; and she's a yard tall, but not as much
as two yards; and a yard wide, but not as much as two yards. And so
grandpapa is right."
Some of the happiest hours I spent at The Vine were spent in Elspeth's
company. I made tiny cakes, and tarts of curious shapes, when she was
busy pastry-making, and did some clear-starching on my doll's account
when Elspeth was "getting-up" my great-grandfather's cravats.
Elspeth had strong old-fashioned notions of paying respect where it was
due. She gave Adolphe a sharp lecture one day for some lack of respect
in his manner to "Miss Margery"; and, on the other hand, she taught me
to curtsy at the door where I breakfasted with Mr. and Mrs. Vandaleur.
Some dancing lessons that I had had in Riflebury helped me here, and
Elspeth was well satisfied with my performance. I felt very shy and
awkward the first time that I made my morning curtsy, my knees shaking
under me, and Elspeth watching from the passage; but my
great-grandfather and mother seemed to take it as a matter of course,
and I soon became quite used to it. If Mr. Vandaleur happened to be
standing in the room, he always returned my curtsy by a low bow.
I became very fond of my great-grandfather. He was a tall, handsome old
man, with high shoulders, slightly bent by age and also by habit. He
wore a blue coat with brass buttons, that had been very well made a very
long time ago; white trousers, a light waistcoat, a frilled shirt, and a
very stiff cravat. On the wall of the drawing-room there hung a
water-colour portrait of a very young and very handsome man, with
longish wavy hair, features refined to weakness, dreamy, languid eyes,
and a coat the very image of my great-grandfather's. The picture hung
near the door; and as Mr. Bertrand Vandaleur passed in or out, I well
remember that he almost always glanced at the sketch, as people glance
at themselves in passing a mirror.
I was too young then to notice this as being a proof that the drawing
was a portrait of himself; but I remember being much struck by the
likeness between the coat in the picture and that my great-grandfather
wore, and also by the way that the hair was thrown back from the high,
narrow forehead, just as my great-grandfather's grey hairs were combed
away from his brow. Children are great admirers of beauty too,
especially, I think, of an effeminate style of good looks, and are very
susceptible to the power of expression in faces. I had a romantic
admiration for "the handsome man by the door," and his eyes haunted me
about the room.
I was kneeling on a chair and examining the sketch one morning, when my
great-grandfather came up to me, "Who is it, little one?" said he.
I looked at the picture. I looked at my great-grandfather's coat. As his
eyes gazed steadily into mine, there was a likeness there also; but it
was the coat that decided me. I said, "It is you, grandpapa."
I think this little incident just sealed our friendship. I always
remained in high favour with my great-grandfather.
He spent a great deal of his time in painting. He never had, I believe,
had any profession. The very small income on which he and his wife had
lived was their own private fortune. I often think it must have been a
great trial to a woman of my great-grandmother's energy, that her
husband should have made no effort to add to their resources by work of
some kind. But then I cannot think of any profession that would have
suited him. He was sadly wanting in general capacity, though
accomplished much above the average, and with a fine knack in the
budding of roses.
I thought him the grandest gentleman that ever lived, and the
pleasantest of companions. His weak but lovable nature had strong
sympathy with children, I think. I ought to say, with a child; for he
would share the fancies and humours of one child companion for hours,
but was quite incapable of managing a larger number--as, indeed, he was
of any kind of domestic administration or control. Mrs. Vandaleur was
emphatically Elspeth's mistress, if she was also her friend; but in the
absence of "the mistress" Elspeth ruled "the master" with a rod of iron.
I quickly gained a degree of power over him myself. I discovered that if
I maintained certain outward forms of respect and courtesy, so as not to
shock my grandpapa's standard of good manners, I might make almost any
demands on his patience and good-nature. Children and pet animals make
such discoveries very quickly, and are apt to use their power somewhat
tyrannically. I fear I was no exception to the rule.