"I'm no good. They're laughing at me...."
Her eyes heartened him. "Master them. Command them. You are the master,
Noll."
"I can't.... There's no strength in me...."
"It's there. Master them, Noll."
"I can't hold myself, Faith. Not even myself. I'm rotted with whiskey,
and years, and strife...."
"Master yourself, Noll."
"Faith, Faith.... It's too late. I'm gone. I can't."
"You can," she said. She spoke the two words quietly; yet somehow they
gave him of her strength, so that his head lifted higher, and the
muscles took form beneath his slack cheeks. He stared into her eyes, as
though he were drinking her soul through them; his chest swelled as
though virtue were going into him. They sat thus, minutes on end.... He
got to his feet. His eyes cleared, with the tempestuous and short-lived
fire of age in their depths. He swore:
"By God, Faith. I will. I'll command.... Myself and them."
"You can," she said again. "You can. So--do, Noll."
He turned away from her, looking about with new eyes.... She smiled
sadly; she knew him too well, now.... She was not surprised when his
first act was to go to the lockfast and get his bottle, and drink.... He
smacked his lips, chuckled at her.
"By God, Faith, I'll show these dogs," he cried, and flung open the
door. She heard him go out and climb up to the deck.... She sat where he
had left her....
Sat there, and knew her love for Brander. In those minutes while she
remained where Noll had seen her last, she listened to the singing of
new voices in her heart. Brander was before her, in her eyes, in her
thoughts.... He possessed her, in that moment, more completely than Noll
had ever done. She gave herself to him completely, without reluctance
and without faintest reservation. No need to see him, no need to tell
him. She knew, he must know.... She never asked whether he loved her;
she had always known that. Known it without admitting the knowledge,
even in her thoughts. She loved him, body and heart and soul; her eyes
yearned for his, her tongue to tell him what her heart was singing, her
arms to embrace him....
She got up, at last, a little wearily.... It was only a matter of
minutes that she sat there, looking within herself. When she listened,
now, she could hear Noll's voice, on deck, roaring in the old way....
Once she heard Brander answer him, from somewhere amidships. Again she
caught the murmur of Dan'l Tobey's tones....
Brander was her love; but Noll.... Noll was her husband, she his wife.
And Faith passed her hand across her eyes as though to wipe away these
visions she had looked upon. Noll was her husband; her vows were his.
She was his, and would be.... Nothing he could do would make her less
his; he was in her keeping, his life and hers could never take diverging
paths. He was her charge, to strengthen, and guide, and support; his
tasks were hers, his responsibilities were her responsibilities, his
burdens must rest upon her shoulders....
But she did not deceive herself. Old Noll was dead, old Noll Wing who
had mastered men for year on year. That Noll was dead; the Noll who
lived was a weakling. But she was a part of the living Noll; and she was
no weakling. So....
Her lips set faintly. Love Brander though she did, there was no place
for him in her life. Her life was Noll; her life belonged to Noll. Noll
was failing; his flesh might live, but his soul was dead and his
strength was gone. His tasks fell upon her.
Quite simply, in that moment, Faith promised herself that whatever
happened, the _Sally Sims_ should come safe home again; that no man
should ever say Noll Wing had failed in the end; that no man should ever
make a jest of Noll's old renown. And if Noll could not manage these
things for himself, she would....
She began, suddenly, to cry; she locked herself in her cabin and wept
bitterly for hours.... But afterward, bathing her eyes, freshening
herself to meet Noll's eyes, she looked into the mirror, and smiled and
lifted her head. "You can do it, Faith," she told herself. "You can do
it, full as well as he."
And then, more seriously: "You must, Faith Wing. You must bring the
_Sally_ home."
When she stepped out into the after cabin, she saw the revolver still on
the floor where Noll had left it. She picked it up to return it to its
proper drawer....
But on second thought, she changed her mind, and took it and hid it in
her bunk.