Willis Cox was fourth mate. He was a youngster; this his first cruise in
the cabin. He had been promoted from the fo'c's'le by Noll Wing on
Noll's last voyage. By the same token, he worshiped Noll as a demigod,
with the enthusiasm of youth; and a jealousy not unlike the jealousy of
women made him dislike Faith, at first, and resent her presence aboard.
No one could long dislike Faith, however. In the end, he included her in
his worship of Noll, and gave her all his loyalty.
Roy, in these new surroundings, flourished. He was tireless, always
stirring about the ship or clambering in the rigging, drinking in new
impressions like a sponge. He and Faith, as is apt to be the case
between brother and sister, fought each other constantly, bickering and
striving back and forth. Faith had somewhat outgrown this way of
childhood; but Roy was still a boy, and Faith felt toward him at times
the exasperation which a mother feels toward a child. It came to pass,
in the early stages of the voyage, that Roy included Noll Wing in his
warfare against Faith; and he turned to Dan'l Tobey. Between Dan'l and
the boy, a strange friendship arose, so that Faith often saw them
talking together, Roy chattering while Dan'l listened flatteringly.
Faith, ashore, had liked Dan'l; she was a little afraid of the new man
he had become, since they sailed. Nevertheless, she was pleased that Roy
liked him....
All these men had been changed, in subtle ways, by their coming to sea.
Faith, during the first weeks, was profoundly puzzled and interested by
this transformation. There was a new strength in all of them, which she
marked and admired. At the same time, there were manifestations at which
she was disquieted.
Noll Wing--her Noll--had changed with the rest. He had changed not only
in his every-day bearing, but in his relations with her. She was
troubled, from the very beginning, by these changes; and she was
troubled by her own reactions to them.
Noll, for instance, liked to come down to his cabin in his times of
leisure and take off his coat and vest and open his shirt at the throat
and lie down. Sometimes he took off his shoes. Usually, at such times,
he went to sleep; and Faith, who sometimes read aloud to him, would stop
her reading when Noll began to snore, and look at her husband, and try
to convince herself he was good to look upon. She learned to know, line
by line, the slack folds of his cheeks when he lay thus, utterly
relaxed. The meandering of the little purple veins beneath his skin
fascinated her and held her eyes. There were little, stiff hairs in his
ears, and in his nostrils; and where his shirt was open at the throat
she could glimpse the dark growth upon his broad chest. His suspenders
pressed furrows in the soft, outer covering of flesh which padded the
muscles of his shoulders. He was, by habit, a cleanly man; but he was at
the same time full-fleshed and full-blooded, and there was always about
him a characteristic and not necessarily unpleasant odor of clean
perspiration. At times, as she sat beside him while he slept thus, Faith
tried to tell herself she liked this; at times it frankly revolted her,
so that she was ashamed of her own revolt....
She had worshiped the strength of Noll; she was in danger of discovering
that at too close range, that strength became grossness.
The pitiless intimacies of their life together in the cabin of the
_Sally Sims_ were hard for Faith. They shared two small rooms; and Noll
must be up and down at all hours of day and night, when the weather was
bad, or the business of whaling engrossed him. Faith, without being
vain, had that reverence and respect for herself which goes by the name
of modesty. Her body was as sacred to her as her soul. The necessity
that they were under of dressing and undressing in a tiny room not eight
feet long was a steady torment to her....
She did not blame Noll for what unhappiness there was in these matters;
she blamed herself for over-sensitiveness, and tried to teach herself to
endure these things as a part of her task of sharing the rigors of
Noll's daily toil. But there were times when even the nakedness of
Noll's bald head revolted her.
She had been, when she married, prepared for disillusionment. Faith was
not a child; she was a woman. She had the wisdom to know that no man is
a heroic figure in a night shirt.... But she was not prepared to
discover that Noll, who walked among men as a master, could fret at his
wife like a nervous woman.
This fretful querulousness manifested itself more than once in the early
stages of the voyage. For Noll was growing old, and growing old a little
before his time because he had spent his life too freely. He was, at
times, as querulous as a complaining old man. Because he was apt to be
profane, in these moods, Faith tried to tell herself that they were the
stormy outbreaks of a strong man.... But she knew better. When Noll,
after they lost their second whale, growled to her:
"Damn Tichel.... The man's losing his pith. You'd think a man like him
could strike a whale and not let it get away...." Faith knew this was no
mere outbreak against Tichel, but an out and out whine.
She knew this, but would not admit it, even in her thoughts.
Another matter troubled her. Noll Wing was a drinker. She had always
known that. It was a part of his strength, she thought, to be able to
drink strong liquor as a man should. But aboard ship she found that he
drank constantly, that there was always the sickly sweet smell of
alcohol about him.... And at times he drank to stupefaction, and slept,
log-like, while Faith lay wide-eyed and ashamed for him in the bunk
below his. She was sorry; but because she trusted in Noll's strength and
wisdom, she made no attempt to interfere.
She had expected that marriage would shatter some of her illusions; and
when her expectations were fulfilled and far exceeded, she thrust her
unhappiness loyally behind her, and clung the closer to big Noll,
striving to lend her strength to him.
More than once, when Noll fretted at her while others were about, she
saw Dan'l Tobey's eyes upon her; and at such times she took care to look
serene and proud. Dan'l must not so much as guess it, if Noll should
ever make her unhappy....
But.... Noll make her unhappy? The very thought was absurd. He was her
Noll; she was his. When they were wedded, she had given herself to him,
and taken him as a part of herself, utterly and without reservation.
He might fail her high expectations in little things; she might fail
him. But for all that, they were one, one body and soul so long as they
both should live.
She was as loyal to him, even in her thoughts, as to herself. For this
was Faith; she was Noll's forever.
She thought that what she felt was hidden; but Dan'l Tobey had eyes to
see. And now and then, when in crafty ways he led big Noll to act
unworthily before her, he watched for the shadow that crossed her face,
and smiled in his own sly soul.