It was rather during those bitter hours when he, weeping and bare-foot,
was forced to flee before his own son, or when he with his heart
writhing in anguish prayed: "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and
renew a right spirit within me!" It was during such moments when he
crouched in humiliation that he became disgusted with deceit and
falsity, with the doings of darkness and the evil lust of the flesh.
It was in such moments that he learned how to yearn from the depths
of his heart for life itself: "Where thoughts are pure and deeds are
unblemished."
When Peter had denied his Lord and Saviour thrice in the courtyard of
the high priest and was standing without, bitter and heavy tears rolled
down his cheeks; never in his life had Peter detested that denial
as he did just then. How hideous it looked to him--to have denied
Jesus! Undoubtedly he was thinking by himself: O, could I but find an
opportunity of proclaiming Him once more--then I should do it with all
the strength and sincerity of my heart.
Or Thomas! We know that after hearing the testimony of the resurrection
of Jesus he said: "Except I shall see in His hands the print of the
nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my
hand into His side, I will not believe." Then, when he sees Jesus again
and hears His gently reproachful, "Blessed are they that have not seen,
and yet have believed"--how Thomas must have been disgusted with his
infidelity, and how he must have reproached himself because he had
invited the evil power of doubt and unbelief into his soul. That was to
happen nevermore!
These heavy hours were changed into rejoicing for such men. And it
is the testimony of all men and women who have been blessed by the
special grace of God that such "little whiles" have meant much to
the development of their lives by giving it _direction, depth and
sincerity_.
But how about you? Have you had similar experiences?
Many of you probably will say: We know the hours of distress--we also
know how deeply depressing they may be. Even though we may not have
wept and lamented, like the first disciples, because of the scorn
and ridicule by the world, we often have shed tears that betrayed
the presence of a wounded heart. But we did not go farther in our
understanding of the meaning of the sorrowful moments. We have felt
their pressure, but we have lost sight of their blessedness; we have
been unable to discover the gain which they mean to our lives.
Look to the depths of your own soul and then tell me: Do you not feel
the hidden connection between the sin, as it had attained power in
your soul, and the pressure of the brief, sorrow-laden moments? Have
you not also in such moments felt a truer, a more sincere and deeper
disgust with the evil character of sin, than otherwise? Did not that
wish soar upward from the very bottom of your soul: Would I were
relieved of all that is evil so that I might live with "all my thoughts
pure, and all my deeds unblemished"?
But if you have felt this, then you already are somewhat conscious of
the blessedness of the moments of distress, for that is what is asked
of us first of all. Without disgust with the evil being of sin we
cannot renounce the devil and all his works and all his ways.
But is that all to which the brief, sorrow-laden moments can guide and
help us? No--the faith of the disciples was strengthened during the
little while. It is true that their faith wavered in that while, and
that it looked as though it would collapse, but _this was not the agony
of death, but the pangs of birth_.
Hitherto they had been accustomed to seeing Jesus and then believing
in Him. Now _that_ faith was to be born which would cling to him
through His word without seeing Him. During the little while it looked
as though Jesus had suffered defeat and the world had conquered. But
after the resurrection the disciples saw the meaning of it all: Jesus
had taken death upon Himself not because He was vanquished but because
the Father, in His unfathomable wisdom and His eternal love, had thus
decided it for the purpose of salvation.
They knew now that no matter how discouraging the outlook might be, no
matter how loudly the world might proclaim its victory--His word was
to be depended upon. And firm in this faith they went out to conquer
the world for Jesus Christ after having received the spirit from
Above. Often it looked to them as it did on Good Friday, but instead
of weeping and lamenting they sang hymns of praise to the Lord fully
convinced that He was the strongest. Their faith had been strengthened
so as to bear the resistance of the world, and rejoicing had taken up
its everlasting abode in their hearts. _The little while had been the
hour of birth of the faith which was to conquer all the world, and gain
the eternal state of blessedness._
Thus the little dark moments have a meaning in the lives of Christians,
aside from filling us with detestation of the evil ways of sin. They
must be hours of birth through which our faith shall emerge renewed and
invigorated until it appears as that firm faith which wins the great
victory over the world.
And if there is anything of which we stand in need, in addition to
being filled with horror at the phantoms of deceit, the evil ways of
darkness--it is the firm faith and the eternal joy of blessedness
which give us strength to become more and more the children of God,
immaculate before His face, and by which we can be easily recognized as
children of light in a world darkened by sin.
The world still rejoices and still--after a struggle of almost two
thousand years--thinks it shall conquer the church of the Lord. Now
and then we are told that in another hundred years Christianity will
be something entirely different, adjusted to the trend of thought--or
that it will have lost all its strength. When we face this haughty
scorn of the world, we need the firm belief that although the world
thinks it will triumph, it will still collapse. For the Lord is
Almighty: The great powerful world will never be able to remain longer,
or to progress farther, than He permits.
Then there is the joy which no one can take away from us. It is the
joy of blessedness in which all the sorrows of life vanish, just as
the pangs of birth are lost in the exuberant joy of the thought that
a new human being has been brought into the world. It is with the joy
of blessedness as with maternal love: It is made through travail and
suffering, and no one can take it away from us!
Ah, how it irritated and angered Jews and heathen when they were unable
to deprive the ancient Christians of this joy even in the moment of
death! When Stephen appeared before the council, and his face was like
the face of an angel because the joy of Heaven reposed within his
soul--they cut to the heart and they gnashed with their teeth, cast him
out of the city, and stoned him. But his joy they could not take away
from him: Would that this might abide among us in greater fullness, for
it is that very joy which gives us the touch of gentleness, mildness
and loveliness!
The Christian may say about the "little whiles" that are full of
vexation, what Joseph said to his brethren: "God made everything right
in order to do what He now hath done, and to preserve life." The
"little whiles" may be heavy with trouble and sorrow, but it is an
irremovable truth in the church of the Lord that He changes them into
good purposes in order to preserve our lives.
It must have been difficult for the disciples to understand the Lord's
word about the "little while"--and it is difficult for us amidst
our adversity to absorb thoroughly the fact that God will turn our
sorrow into joy--that, forsooth, sorrow itself is pregnant with joy,
shall become joy, and that these "little whiles" are necessary to
the development and the ripening of the Christian life. It was only
when the disciples had lived through the little while and seen the
Lord once more that they understood His words. So also with us. The
dark "little whiles" in our life are to be read--like the Hebraic
scriptures--backward. Only when we have lived through these dark
moments and when joy has found anew the way to our hearts, are we
beginning to realize their meaning.
_They were hours of redemption and hours of birth._ Through them we
became disgusted with the evil ways of sin to such an extent that the
Son of man found it possible to set us _actually free_. They were the
hours of birth for the world-conquering faith and for the everlasting
joy of blessedness.
_We have seen the Lord again when the hours of sorrow had passed, and
we have felt His presence among us._
God made everything right in order to preserve our life eternal.