AN UNWELCOME PASSENGER
TOMINA looked rather relieved than otherwise at the interruption. Harry
dashed to the door with a shout of welcome.
"I'm living with her now. Isn't she a pretty lady?"
"You're in luck's way, young man. Do you think you could make yourself
scarce for a little?"
"Harry, run out into the kitchen and stay with Susan till I call you,"
Tomina said.
The child obeyed her.
Then Dr. Merton took a seat.
"Well, this isn't a professional visit to-day. I heard last night of
your kind deed, and have come to ask what you mean to do?"
Tomina sat back in her chair and looked at him with laughing eyes.
"I really haven't the faintest idea what I mean to do. I live in
the present, as you know. Please don't credit me with being a
philanthropist, for it was just an impulse. He is an adorably pretty
boy! And he began to talk so confidentially and quaintly to me that I
thought he would amuse me for a day or two. What queer things children
are! He seems so deeply, powerfully religious, if you know what I mean.
I hear he is Mrs. Francis's 'protégé.' I suppose that accounts for it."
"I think it does. Eleanor Francis has a wonderful gift of influence,
and a little child is so susceptible."
"He hardly seems like a villager's child. Has he any special history?"
"Yes. His grandmother, Mrs. Chugg, was once Mrs. Francis's nurse. She
married the butler—a most superior man, and for some time kept one of
the lodges on the Digbys' property. Her daughter was a very pretty,
refined girl, and was very often at the Hall playing with the children
there. She married very well, a rising young architect who did a good
bit of business for the old squire. They went to London, and in three
years' time, both died of scarlet fever, a virulent type—he took it
first and she contracted it nursing him. Their little boy came back to
live with his grandmother. That's his history.
"I don't think we shall let him go to the workhouse. If you are tired
of him already, you had better hand him over to me. I am quite ready to
give him a home for the present. Harry and I are old friends."
"I haven't said that I am tired of him. You are too fond of jumping to
conclusions."
"Children want an infinite amount of patience and care," said Dr.
Merton, looking at Tomina gravely; "are you very fond of them?"
"Not as a class, but if they are very pretty and amusing, I lose my
heart to them. And Harry has a way with him. Oh, I dare say I had
better hand him over to you. I fancy I might not be able to satisfy his
requirements. I certainly am behind him in Biblical knowledge. I don't
even possess a Bible of my own. I have one in town, I believe, but I
never used it."
Tomina always had a perverse longing to shock Dr. Merton, but he never
rose to her bait.
"You're improving in looks," he said. "Our country life suits you. How
does the van work?"
Tomina's eyes sparkled. She spoke naturally now.
"I am getting to love it. The slow leisurely motion suits me. I think I
have adapted myself very quickly to my—my banishment! I never thought
that country people of the lower orders, could be so interesting.
They're pathetic, and comic and tragic by turns. I listen to their talk
and am learning a lot."
"I hear the carrier's van is a great success," said Dr. Merton,
heartily.
"Well, we have only had two days of it as yet. I've had some funny
experiences. The first day I took up a book pedlar, who preached me a
sermon. He was rather a dear. I fancy I have tumbled into a nest of
good people down here. When are you going to have your turn with me,
Dr. Merton? I am sure you are longing to begin!"
"I want you to be healthy both in body and soul," responded Dr. Merton,
gravely. "You will tell me your soul is none of my business, but I say
that the soul affects the body, and as you have been trying to kill
both, these few years, I am naturally anxious that you should learn the
laws of health for both."
Tomina's eyes twinkled with mischief. She folded her hands in her lap.
"Please go on," she said.
"Oh, I am not going to preach. But I do think that every civilised
Christian should own and read the Book that contains those laws."
"I suppose you mean the Bible, but I don't think that says much about
our bodies, does it?"
"Doesn't it? You look and see. We have wandered from our point. How
long do you want to keep Harry?"
Tomina did not reply. She was gazing out of the window somewhat
wistfully.
The doctor longed to know her thoughts, but he waited in silence.
At last, she said—
"Do you really want him so much? I believe you are like me, though, of
course, you wouldn't allow it for worlds! You have your lonely moments,
when you get bored to death with yourself and your thoughts, and you
seek distraction!"
Dr. Merton smiled.
"I hope the quiet simple life is not going to fail you."
"If it keeps quiet and simple it won't," said Tomina, emphatically.
"But if fragments of the other world keep flying across my path, I
shall, as the Americans would say, 'quit'!"
Then she smiled, and Tomina's smile made every one feel at once what a
joyous thing life was.
"I came across rather a big fragment the other day," she continued,
"but it went as quickly as it came, and as I'm determined to live in
the present, I oughtn't to give it a thought."
Dr. Merton opened his mouth as if about to speak, then shut his lips
determinedly.
"And Harry?"
"Oh, Harry. Leave him with me a little longer. Are you going to adopt
him?"
"I have not thought of doing so; only I thought I would keep him till
Mrs. Francis returns, and then we can talk over his future together."
"Poor little waif! Has he no relations on his father's side?"
"I am afraid not. But that will require investigation. Mrs. Francis
knows about his belongings better than I do. I must be off. I am
thankful to leave him in such good hands as yours, and if he proves too
much for you, let me know at once."
Just as the doctor was going out at the door, he turned.
"By the way, somebody was asking after you the other day. A Colonel
Norman, whose father has recently died. His mother lives about five
miles off. I believe he is retiring from the service and going to look
after the property."
"I used to know a Major Norman," said Tomina, indifferently, "but he is
not a friend of mine."
The doctor went.
Tomina sat very still. An impertinent robin perched upon the
window-sill and lifting up his head, looked at her saucily. Then there
was a rush of small feet along the passage and he flew away.
"Susan is cooking me a fruit tart. She says I can pick up the snails in
the ivy, and Thor could be made to draw your wheelbarrow, couldn't he?
Oh! There's such lots to do! Do come on and help me."
Harry had got hold of her, and had dragged her out into the garden
before she had time to protest.
For the rest of that day, Tomina gave herself over to childhood and to
childhood's games.
When she was tired, she handed Harry over to Susan, who soon became
his willing slave. He certainly kept them both lively, and however
mischievous and restless by day, he was a little angel when bed-time
came. Tomina was obliged to be always present during his prayers. She
said to Susan one evening, when she came away from him—
"Do all children consider that the Almighty's sole occupation consists
in watching over them and listening to every word that comes from their
lips? Harry thinks that his concerns come first and foremost in the
world to his Creator!"
"Ah well," said Susan, "'tis said, ma'am, 'of such is the Kingdom of
Heaven.' They were very dear to our Lord, and 'twould be better for all
of us if we were more like them!"
"I suppose it would," was Tomina's grave reply.
Carrier's day came round again. But it dawned in lashing showers of
rain, which set in for a steady downpour when the time to start came.
Tomina had thought of taking Harry with her, but that was impossible
now. She arrayed herself in her oilskins, and as she surveyed herself
in her glass, she laughed aloud.
"I'm looking a genuine carrier now," she said to Susan.
"Well, ma'am, you're really very like a man in them things. But 'tis
rough weather for you, all said and done!"
She had only four passengers to start with. Bill Short was, of course,
in attendance, and she made up for the lack of passengers in the
hampers and parcels which were packed in.
Rain and wind beat in their faces as they started. The whole country
was obliterated by a grey driving mist. Tomina sat well back under the
awning and drove. The four women snuggled together in the back of the
van, and talked in low voices over the shortcomings of their families
and the depression of trade. Everybody seemed out of spirits, including
Bran, who plodded doggedly along, occasionally shaking his great mane
when it became water-logged, and Thor, who tucked himself under the
shelter of the van and held his tail well between his legs.
Presently, as they began to ascend a long steep hill, they overtook
a pedestrian in mackintosh and slouch hat, well pulled down over his
eyes. He hailed them as soon as he saw them, and climbed up into the
front seat by the side of Tomina.
"A bad day for you," he said pleasantly.
Tomina turned in her seat and stared at him. There was no mistaking
that voice. It was Colonel Norman again.
For an instant, Tomina wondered if she were recognised, but only for
an instant. Then a swift furious colour rose in her cheeks, as she
encountered his keen steady gaze.
"Why wouldn't you see me the other day? You might have known we should
be bound to meet before long."
"I call this an impertinent intrusion," said Tomina, in icy tones.
"Surely not? Surely a carrier's van is open to any and all who can pay
his fare? I am going to Damerton on business."
"Then you could have driven yourself."
"But I wanted to see you and have a talk with you, and this was my
opportunity."
His tone was very determined.
Tomina was so dumfounded by the blow fate had dealt her that she was
absolutely silent.
He continued after a pause.
"I heard of your disappearance from town, but I little thought I
should find you in my own county. Is there any special reason for
this masquerade? When I remember you in the old days, I can hardly
reconcile—"
Then Tomina turned her head.
"The old days, as you call them, are dead and buried, and so is every
one and everything associated with them."
"Do you really mean that?"
"I do."
"Thank Heaven! That leaves me a fair fresh field! Tomina, I am going
to begin to court you again. I won't even attempt to explain away or
apologise for the past. There is no past. You and I are in a new fresh
world, the only man and woman in it so far as I am concerned. I felt an
hour ago that the very heavens were weeping for our spoiled lives, and
irrevocable mistakes, our pitiful failures of life with its glorious
possibilities.
"Now what is the rain? It is washing and purging and beautifying all
that has become besmirched with the dust of time. You and I are new
creatures. We have evolved a fresh era, our future lies before us, to
be made or marred according to our likings. We are at the beginning of
our friendship."
Tomina received this burst of eloquence with a very slight and
indifferent shrug of her pretty shoulders. Her back was almost
turned upon him. Only Bran was conscious of an unusual and spasmodic
tightening of his reins.
After a moment's silence, she spoke.
"You have twisted my words to suit yourself. If neither of us has a
past, we are absolute strangers one to the other, and I intend that we
remain as such. I never wish to know you, and no amount of effort on
your part will make me do it. As a gentleman, and I believe you are
one, you cannot force your presence upon me!"
"I can and will do anything to break down the barrier between us!"
There was a tense silence, then the Colonel spoke again.
"No, I am not going to play your game any more. Neither of us can
forget the past; you think that you cannot forgive it. How long ago is
it? It is eight years to-day since your head was lying on my shoulder,
and we sealed our compact with our lips. I have never had but one woman
in my life, and I never shall. I was hot-headed and jealous, I own.
I was arbitrary where I ought to have been persuasive. You overheard
something that you misconstrued, and I was too proud to exonerate
myself. We both determined to put each other out of our lives.
"I've worked hard and allowed myself no time for thinking. Now I have
retired, and isn't it a remarkable thing that every day since I have
been home, your personality has haunted me? I never knew until I met
you the other day that we were neighbours. Tomina, my heart still beats
true for you; it has never wandered from you. Why should we pretend to
be strangers? You know that we are not."
Tomina's face was stern and set. It was the woman who showed hardness
and determination; the man's face was softened, and into his eyes had
crept a pitying tenderness.
The top of the hill was reached. Without a word, she whipped up Bran
more severely than was her wont. He broke into a sharp trot. The van
swayed and creaked and groaned, and one could hardly hear oneself
speak. The rain still lashed into their faces. Tomina began to wish for
some fresh passengers. How could she endure six or seven miles more of
Colonel Norman's company?
When they were once more forced to go slowly, she spoke—
"I came down to this part by doctor's orders. I have been very unwell,
and I thought I had found peace and rest, and freedom from all that I
have learnt to dislike. I do not intend that you shall spoil my life
again. You did it once, and a 'burnt child dreads the fire.' I never
will speak to you willingly again. Nothing that you can say or do will
make me change my mind."
Then scorn and anger crept into her voice.
"You acknowledge that all these years you have never given me a
thought! Why should you do so now? Your world always came first with
you. It is only in your idle moments that you consider women to be
useful to you. You forget that women now are not mere playthings for
men."
"You were never a plaything in my eyes."
"No, perhaps I used the wrong word. It was on the subject of play
that we differed so. You considered you had the right to withhold
from me any pleasure that you deemed fit to condemn. Your will was
always to come paramount. I was to be your obedient servant. And your
straight-laced Pharisaical views of life were to be mine, you reminded
me, when I became your wife. Thank Heaven, I escaped from such bondage.
Did you think that my grudge against you was because you told your chum
that the only chance for an undisciplined girl was for her to marry a
man who could always master her?"
"That speech of mine was not in reference to you. I never had a chance
to explain. Davis was working as a curate in the slums; we were talking
about factory girls and their ways."
Tomina laughed scornfully.
"What does it matter now? I say that that was only an indication of
your habit of thought. I was a young joyous-hearted girl in those
days. I felt kindly disposed towards all my fellow-creatures. I could
have been led, but never, never driven! You turned my gladness into
bitterness. You made me hate all goodness and good people and religion
in every shape and form. If I had cared enough, you would have driven
me to the devil. You took my love, but you only wanted it to minister
to your needs. I was to be your bird in a cage to sing to you, but
my wings were to be clipped, and you would have gone on clipping and
clipping till no feather was left!"
Tomina paused for breath. Her voice was low pitched; not one of the
women in the van could hear what she said, but passion vibrated through
every word.
Colonel Norman looked straight in front of him, and again there was a
tense silence between them. Then he drew a long deep breath.
"I never knew a woman's love could turn into such hate!" he said. And
clapping down a shilling on the wooden seat, he said curtly, "My fare,"
and swung himself down upon the muddy road. He raised his hat, and fell
behind the van.
Tomina never looked out or noticed whether he trudged behind them for
long. She only felt when she reached Damerton that she would give all
she possessed to be able to creep into her bed at home and cry herself
to sleep, so tired and weary, so utterly miserable was she!
But business had to be done, and her day had only just commenced. She
had always had plenty of self-control, and it did not fail her now.
In the afternoon, the weather cleared. The return journey was made in
sunshine, and every bush and tree seemed to lift up their heads to
greet it.
"Jus' like our days," said old Mrs. Crabbe, who was somewhat of a
philosopher; "we gets a reg'lar downpour o' trouble and set-backs, and
then it all goes, and the sun comes out beter'n ever."
"Will the sun ever come out for me?" thought Tomina. "I am sure it will
not."
Susan was not surprised when the next day came and found Tomina in bed
with a racking head and high temperature. Even Harry's prattle had to
be hushed.
"I always said she wouldn't be fit to stand rough weather," said Susan
to herself. "She's got a chill and is going to be really ill. I shall
send for the doctor, and he'll have to take away the child."