(_A Yule-tide Story told in Advance._)
Yes, SCROOGE was an altered man! He was genial and amiable, and
altogether an estimable being. SCROOGE'S nephew was delighted with the
change. He could scarcely believe his ears and eyes.
"And don't you really interfere with the theatres, Sir?" asked
SCROOGE'S nephew. "At one time you were always telling them to take
down this, and put up that, and making the lives of the managers
burdens to them. Don't you interfere any longer?"
"Of course not, my lad," replied SCROOGE, heartily. "Why should
I? This is the pleasantest world imaginable, and it would be less
charming without its playhouses."
"Right you are, Sir," returned SCROOGE'S nephew; "but I suppose you
look in occasionally at the halls to supervise the entertainments?"
"I look in to enjoy them, my boy!" cried SCROOGE, with a ringing
laugh, that could be heard for furlongs. "What do they want with _my_
supervision?"
"I am sure I don't know, uncle; but I thought it was a way you had.
And then you are going to strip the hoardings of the posters, aren't
you?"
"I strip the hoardings of the posters! Why should I? The hoardings
look a precious sight better covered with pictures than left to dirt
and decay. I interfere with the hoardings! I never heard of such a
thing! What put _that_ into your head?"
"Well, it used to be an old way of yours," returned SCROOGE'S nephew.
"Why, uncle, don't you remember? You used to be interfering with
and ordering about everything. Taking up the road and closing the
thoroughfare. Bothering the costermongers and the retail shopkeepers
and the small householders. In fact, making yourself a general
nuisance in all directions. Why, uncle, you have entirely changed your
nature!"
"Not at all," said SCROOGE. "I am not changed, but my office is. Do
you not know that I have ceased to be a member of the London County
Council?"
"No, this is the first time I have heard of it! Why, that accounts
for everything! It explains why you are a pleasant, good-natured
old gentleman in lieu of a curmudgeon and a brute. It explains
everything."
And it did!
* * * * *
[Illustration: MISUNDERSTOOD.
_Noble Philanthropist._ "THAT PARCEL SEEMS RATHER HEAVY FOR YOU, MY
LITTLE MAN! LET ME TAKE IT!"
_Small boy._ "LET YER TYKE MY PARCEL! GARN WITH YER. I'LL CALL THE
PERLICE!"]
* * * * *
NAME! NAME!--No name has been announced for the new daily paper
projected by Mr. STEAD. In view of the plan frankly set forth in the
prospectus, whereby one hundred thousand persons are to subscribe the
capital, and if the venture proves a success the enterprising editor
is to have the option of acquiring the property, a suitable title
would be, _Heads-I-Win-Tails-You-Lose_. It is a little long, perhaps;
but it precisely describes the relative positions, and you can't--at
least some people can't--have everything.
* * * * *
DRAMATIC RECIPE (FROM THE QUEEN'S COOKERY BOOK).--First catch your
HARE.
* * * * *