Produced by Stan Goodman, Michelle Shephard, and Project
Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders
THE YOUNG WOMAN'S GUIDE
by
William A. Alcott
[Illustration: Retirement, rural quiet, friendship, books, Ease and
alternate labour, useful life, Progressive virtue, and approving
Heaven! Thomson]
PREFACE.
This work was begun, soon after the appearance of the Young Man's
Guide--and was partially announced to the public. For reasons, however,
which I have not room to give in this place, it was thought proper to
defer its publication till the appearance of several other volumes in
the same spirit, involving more particularly the relative duties.
I wish to have it distinctly understood, that I do not propose to give
a complete manual of the social and moral duties of young women. Every
one has his own way of looking at things, and I have mine. Some of the
duties of young women have appeared to me to receive from other writers
less attention than their comparative importance demands; and
others--especially those which are connected with the great subject of
"temperance in all things"--I have believed to be treated, in several
respects, erroneously.
Permit me, however, to say, that while I have not intended to follow
the path, or repeat the ideas of any other writer, I have not attempted
to avoid either the one or the other. If I have presented here and
there a thought which had already come before the public from my own
pen, I can only say that I did not intend it, although I did not take
special pains to avoid it. The sum is this. I have presented my
thoughts, without so much reference to what has already been said by
myself or others, as to what I have supposed to be the necessities of
those for whom I write. I have gone straight forward, asking no
questions; and I trust I shall be dealt with in a manner equally direct.
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I. EXPLANATION OF TERMS.
Defining terms. The word excellence here used as nearly synonymous with
holiness. What is meant by calling the work a Guide. The term
Woman--why preferable, as a general term, to Lady. The class to whom
this work is best adapted.
CHAPTER II. FEMALE RESPONSIBILITIES.
Comparison of the responsibilities of young men and young women. Saying
of Dr. Rush. Its application to young women. Definition of the term
education. Bad and good education. Opinions of Solomon. Influence of a
young woman in a family--in a school. Anecdotes of female influence.
West, Alexander, Cæsar, Franklin. Story of a domestic in Boston. The
good she is doing. Special influence of young women in families--and as
sisters. Female influence in the renovation of the world.
CHAPTER III. SELF-EDUCATION.
Views of Agesilaus, king of Sparta--of Solomon, king of Israel. Mistake
corrected. What the wisest and best parents cannot do. What, therefore,
remains to the daughter. Necessity of self-education. The work of self
education the work of life--a never-ending progress upward to the
throne of God.
CHAPTER IV. LOVE OF IMPROVEMENT.
Female capabilities. Doing every thing in the best possible manner.
Unending progress. Every person and every occupation susceptible of
improvement, indefinitely. Doing well what is before us. Anecdote
illustrative of this principle. Personal duties. Two great classes of
persons described. Hopes of reaching the ears of the selfish.
CHAPTER V. SELF-KNOWLEDGE.
Vast extent of the science of self-knowledge. Spurious self-knowledge.
Knowledge of our physical frame--its laws and relations. Examples of
the need of this knowledge. Instruments of obtaining it. The use of
lectures. Study of our peculiarities. Study of mental philosophy. The
Bible. How the Bible should be studied.
CHAPTER VI. CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.
Is there any conscientiousness in the world? How far conscientiousness
should extend. Tendency and power of habit. Evils of doing incessantly
what we know to be wrong. Why we do this. Errors of early education.
False standard of right and wrong. Bad method of family discipline.
Palsy of the moral sensibilities. Particular direction in regard to the
education of conscience. Results which may be expected.
CHAPTER VII. SELF-GOVERNMENT.
What self-government includes. Cheerfulness a duty. Discretion.
Modesty. Diffidence. Courage. Vigilance. Thoughts and feelings. The
affections. The temper. The appetites and passions.
CHAPTER VIII. SELF-COMMAND.
Presence of mind. Examples. Napoleon. Female example. Mrs. Merrill. Use
of the anecdote. Self-command to be cultivated. In what manner. Consult
the experience of others. Consult your own reason and good sense. Daily
practice in the art of self-command.
CHAPTER IX. DECISION OF CHARACTER.
Decision of character as important to young women as to others. Why it
is so. Illustration of the subject by a Scripture anecdote. Misery and
danger of indecision. How to reform. Perseverance. Errors of modern
education.
CHAPTER X. SELF-DEPENDENCE.
Fashionable education. Why there is so little self-dependence in the
world. Why orphans sometimes make out well in the world. Error
corrected. What young women once were. What they are now. The best
character formed under difficulties. Cause of the present helpless
condition of females. Three or four to get breakfast. Modes of breaking
up these habits. Anecdote of an independent young woman. Appeal to the
reader.
CHAPTER XI. REASONING AND ORIGINALITY.
Females not expected to be reasoners. Effects of modern education on
the reasoning powers. Education of former days, illustrated by an
anecdote of an octogenarian. Extracts from her correspondence.
Difficulty in getting the ears of mankind. The reasoning powers in man
susceptible of cultivation indefinitely. Reflections on the importance
of maternal effort and female education.
CHAPTER XII. INVENTION.
Why woman has invented so few things. Abundant room for the exercise of
her inventive powers. Hints. Particular need of a reform in cookery.
Appeal to young women on this subject.
CHAPTER XIII. OBSERVATION AND REFLECTION.
Advice of Dr. Dwight. Other counsels to the young. Some persons of both
sexes are always seeing, but never reflecting. An object deserving of
pity. Zimmerman's views. Reading to get rid of reflection. Worse things
still.
CHAPTER XIV. DETRACTION AND SCANDAL.
Universal prevalence of detraction and slander. Proofs. Shakspeare.
Burns the poet. Self-knowledge, how much to be desired. Reference to
the work of Mrs. Opie--to our own hearts--to the Bible.
CHAPTER XV. THE RIGHT USE OF TIME.
Great value of moments. An old maxim. Wasting shreds of time. Time more
valuable than money. What are the most useful charities. Doing good by
proxy. Value of time for reflection. Doing nothing. Rendering an
account of our time at the last tribunal.
CHAPTER XVI. LOVE OF DOMESTIC CONCERNS.
Reasons for loving domestic life. 1. Young women should have some
avocation. Labor regarded as drudgery. 2. Domestic employment healthy.
3. It is pleasant. 4. It affords leisure for intellectual improvement.
5. It is favorable to social improvement. 6. It is the employment
assigned them by Divine Providence, and is eminently conducive to moral
improvement.--The moral lessons of domestic life. A well ordered home a
miniature of heaven.
CHAPTER XVII. FRUGALITY AND ECONOMY.
Economy becoming old fashioned. The Creator's example. Frugality and
economy should be early inculcated. Spending two pence to save one, not
always wrong. Examples of disregarding economy. Wasting small things.
Good habits as well as bad ones, go by companies. This chapter
particularly necessary to the young. Frugality and economy of our
grandmothers.
CHAPTER XVIII. SYSTEM.
General neglect of system in families. Successful efforts of a few
schools. Why the effects they produce are not permanent. Importance of
right education. Here and there system maybe found. Blessedness of
having a mother who is systematic. Let no person ever despair of
reformation. How to begin the work.
CHAPTER XIX. PUNCTUALITY.
Evil of being one minute too late. Examples to illustrate the
importance of punctuality. Case of a mother at Lowell. Her adventure.
General habits which led to such a disaster. Condition of a family
trained to despise punctuality.
CHAPTER XX. EXERCISE.
The muscles, or moving power of the body. Their number and character.
Philosophy and necessity of exercise. Why young women should study
these. Various kinds of exercise. 1. Walking. 2. Gardening and
agriculture. 3. House-keeping. 4. Riding. 5. Local
exercises.--Difficulty of drawing the public attention to this subject.
The slavery of fashion. Consequences of the fashionable neglect of
exercise. A common but shocking sight.
CHAPTER XXI. REST AND SLEEP.
Why rest and sleep are neglected. Sleep a condition. We should sleep in
the night. Moral tendency of not doing so. Is there any moral character
in such things? Of rest without sleep. Good habits is regard to sleep.
Apartments for sleep. Air. Bed. Covering. Temperature. Night clothing.
Advice of Macnish on the number of persons to a bed. Preparation for
sleep. Suppers. The more on indulge in sleep, the more sleep we seem to
require. The reader urged to study the laws of rest and sleep. An
appeal.
CHAPTER XXII. INDUSTRY.
Education to industry. Man naturally a lazy animal. Indolence in
females. Hybernation. Every young woman ought to be trained to support
herself, should necessity require it, and to aid in supporting others.
She should, at least, be always industrious. Kinds of labor, Mental
labor as truly valuable as bodily.
CHAPTER XXIII. VISITING.
Is there no time for relaxation? May there not be passive enjoyments?
Passive enjoyments sometimes wrong. How Christian visits should be
conducted. Duty and pleasure compatible. Passive visits useful to
childhood. Folly of morning calls and evening parties. Bible doctrine
of visiting. Abuse of visiting.
CHAPTER XXIV. MANNERS.
Miss Sedgwick on good manners. Her complaint. Just views of good
manners. Good manners the natural accompaniment of an good heart. The
Bible the best book on manners. Illustrations of the subject.
CHAPTER XXV. HEALTH AND BEAUTY.
Dr. Bell's new work on Health and Beauty. Its value. Adam and Eve
probably very beautiful. Primitive beauty of our race to be yet
restored. Sin the cause of present ugliness. Never too late to reform.
Opinion of Dr. Rush. An important principle. The doctrine of human
perfectibility disavowed. Various causes of ugliness. Obedience to law,
natural and moral, the true source of beauty. Indecency and immorality
of neglecting cleanliness.
CHAPTER XXVI. NEATNESS AND CLEANLINESS.
Reasons for discussing these topics. Every person should undergo a
thorough ablution once a day. Quotation from Mrs. Farrar. Two important
objects gained by cold bathing. Its value as an exercise. Various forms
of bathing. Philosophy of this subject. Vast amount of dirt
accumulating on the surface. Statement of Mr. Buckingham. Bathing
necessary in all employments. Offices of the skin, and evil
consequences of keeping it in an uncleanly condition.
CHAPTER XXVII DRESS AND ORNAMENT.
Legitimate purposes of dress--as a covering, a regulator of
temperature, and a defence. Use of ornaments. Further thoughts on
dress. How clothing keeps us warm. Errors in regard to the material,
quality, and form of our dress. Tight lacing--its numerous evils.
Improvement of the lungs by education. Objections to the use of
personal ornaments.
CHAPTER XXVIII. DOSING AND DRUGGING.
Tendency of young women to dosing and drugging. "Nervousness." Qualms
of the stomach. Eating between our meals--its mischiefs. Evils of more
direct dosing. What organs are injured. Confectionery. The danger from
quacks and quackery.
CHAPTER XXIX. TAKING CARE OF THE SICK.
The art of taking care of the sick should be a part of female
education. Five reasons for this. Doing good. Doing good by proxy.
Great value of personal services. How can young women be trained to
these services? Contagion. Breathing bad air. Aged nurses. . Scientific
instruction of nurses. Visiting and taking care of the sick a religious
duty. Appeal to young women.
CHAPTER XXX. INTELLECTUAL IMPROVEMENT.
Futility of the question whether woman is or is not inferior to man.
Conversation as a means of improvement. Taciturnity and loquacity.
Seven rules in regard to conversation. Reading another means of mental
progress. Thoughts on a perverted taste. Choosing the evil and refusing
the good. Advice of parents, teachers, ministers &c. Advice of a choice
friend. Young people reluctant to be advised. Set hours for reading.
Reading too much. Reading but a species of talking. Composition. Common
mistakes about composing. Attempt to set the matter right.
Journalizing. How a journal should be kept. Music. Vocal music
something more than a mere accomplishment. Lectures and concerts.
Studies. Keys of knowledge.
CHAPTER XXXI. SOCIAL IMPROVEMENT.
Improvement in a solitary state. The social relations. Mother and
daughter. Father and daughter. Brother and sister. The elder sister.
Brethren and sisters of the great human family. The family
constitution. Character of Fidelia. Her resolutions of celibacy. In
what cases the latter is a duty. A new and interesting relation.
Selection with reference to it. Principles by which to be governed in
making a selection. Evils of a hasty or ill-judged selection.
Counsellors. Anecdote of an unwise one. Great caution to be observed.
Direction to be sought at the throne of grace.
CHAPTER XXXII. MORAL PROGRESS.
Importance of progress. Physical improvement a means rather than an
end. The same true of intellectual improvement. The general homage
which is paid to inoffensiveness. Picture of a modern Christian family.
Measuring ourselves by others. Our Saviour the only true standard of
comparison. Importance of self-denial and self-sacrifice. Blessedness
of communicating. Young women urged to emancipate themselves from the
bondage of fashion, and custom, and selfishness.
THE YOUNG WOMAN'S GUIDE.
CHAPTER I.
EXPLANATION OF TERMS.
Defining terms. The word excellence here used as nearly synonym with
holiness. What is meant by calling the work a Guide. The term
Woman--why preferable, as a general term, to Lady. The class to whom
this work is best adapted.
It has been said, and with no little truth, that a large proportion of
the disputes in the world might have been avoided, had the disputants
first settled the meaning of the terms they respectively used. In like
manner might a large share of the misapprehension and error in the
world be avoided, if those who attempt to teach, would first explain
their terms.
This work is called "The Young Woman's Guide to EXCELLENCE," because it
is believed that excellence, rather than happiness, should be the
leading aim of every human being. I am not ignorant that
happiness--present and future--is proposed as our "being's end and
aim," not only by as distinguished a poet as Alexander Pope, but also
by as distinguished a philosopher as William Paley. But these men did
not learn in the school of Christ, that our "beings end and aim" is
happiness, present or future. The Christian religion, no less than
Christian philosophy and sound common sense, teaches that holiness or
excellence should be the leading aim of mankind. Not that "the
recompense of reward," to which the best men of the world have had
regard in all their conduct, is to be wholly overlooked, but only that
it should not be too prominent in the mind's eye, and too exclusively
the soul's aim; since it would thus be but a more refined and more
elevated selfishness. Real excellence brings happiness along with it.
Like godliness--which, indeed, is the same thing--it has the promise of
the life that now is, and of that which is to come. And that happiness
which is attainable without personal excellence or holiness, is either
undeserved or spurious. The world. I know, very generally seek after
it, whether deserved or undeserved; and whether willing or not to pay
the price.
My object is to assist, if I can, in removing from our world the error
of seeking happiness as a primary object. Let us but pursue excellence,
and happiness will almost inevitably follow. I address this exhortation
to Young Women, in particular, for reasons which will be seen when I
come, in the next chapter, to speak of female responsibilities. Let
every young woman aspire to high degrees of purity and excellence. Let
her great aim be, to be personally holy--like God her Saviour. To this
end and with this aim, let her be ready to set aside, if necessary,
father and mother, and brother and sister--yes, and her own life
also,--assured that if she does it with a sacred regard to God and
duty, all will be well. Let her but follow Christ according to the
gospel plan, if it lead her to prison and to death. But it will not
thus lead her. For every self-denial or self-sacrifice it involves, she
will secure, as a general rule, manifold more in this present life, and
in the world to come, life everlasting.
This book is not called "The Young Woman's GUIDE," with the expectation
that she will consider it her only or even her principal guide. The
Bible should be the principal guide of every person, young or old, male
or female. Parents, also, are invaluable as guides. I offer it only as
the best guide which my reflections upon those subjects, connected with
the welfare of young women, that come within the department of my study
and observation, enable me to give. May it prove a guide indeed!
I have called it "The Young WOMAN'S Guide," because there are many who
are accustomed to associate with the word lady; the idea of exemption
from labor, and of entire devotion to something supposed to be above
it--as fashionable company, or fashionable dress and equipage. And not
a few can hardly hear the word mentioned without disgust. Miss Sedgwick
has illustrated this part of my subject very happily in the first and
fifteenth chapters of her "Means and Ends." She says she does not write
exclusively for those who are termed young _ladies;_ because she does
not believe in any such fixed class, in the country. The term _lady_,
she also says, is too indefinite for any valuable use. We not only
apply it to those who are, or would be, above labor, but in a great
many other ways--as that "old lady," meaning, perhaps, some beggar at
the door, &c.
In short, she does not like the use of the phrase, young lady, at all.
Neither do I. Besides, I like best the good old fashioned term, YOUNG
WOMAN. This exactly represents the class for whom I write, and that,
too, without either explanation or qualification. It will be mistaken
by no one, nor will it be likely to give or cause any offence.
Finally, I call the work "The YOUNG Woman's Guide," because I design it
for those single persons of the female sex to whom the term young is
usually applied; viz., those who are from twelve or fourteen to
eighteen or twenty years of age--and to those, in general, who are
single. I hope, nevertheless, that it will contain some thoughts which
may be useful to those individuals who are in married life, as well as
to those who are below the age of twelve years. Many of its suggestions
and principles will, indeed, be applicable--so far as they are just or
true--to all mankind.