THE FULNESS OF LIFE
He, with his blithe young bosom warm,
Quite mad as any hatter,
Just pipes and jigs through every storm,
So _what_ can winter matter!
JOHN HARTLEY, "The Robin in Winter."
A great man? Impossible; he hasn't a dozen enemies!--"The Silver
Poppy."
Those should have been happy days for Hartley, yet they were not. As to
just why they were not he had decided to hold question with himself no
longer. He was persuading himself to pick the flower, distrustful of his
to-morrow.
He and Cordelia saw a great deal of each other, though he was puzzled
often by the Indian Summer mood of tranquillity which seemed to have
settled down upon her. Though no lightest word of love passed between
them, she seemed to cling to him with a broken autumnal forlornness that
touched him more than once as time went on.
Several days out of the week he dined with the Spauldings, and as the
season advanced and the play-houses opened he saw himself more and more
often a member of their merry little theater parties. They went once or
twice to Cordelia's play, but her novel in its dramatized form was only
a lukewarm success at its best, and was soon withdrawn. Yet going out
"on the road" as "a New York triumph," it mysteriously took unto itself
new life and prospered with sedate but substantial vigor.
Day by day Hartley's circle of acquaintances had enlarged--he became, in
fact, a more or less popular young man--and he found it distinctly
agreeable to catch an occasional smile from a carriage passing in the
Park or on Riverside Drive, and to bow now and then to a familiar face
on the crowded Avenue--there is only one. It was pleasant, too, to hold
the reins and have Cordelia at his side in the Spauldings' spider
phaeton, driving quietly home through the waning autumnal evenings after
happy afternoons in the sun and open air.
What pleased him most, though, were their early morning rides in Central
Park. Mrs. Spaulding had gladly enough placed her horses at his
disposal--it was only too good of him to exercise the overfed
beasts--and many were his merry canters along the bridle-paths, from
which now and then he could catch glimpses of the crowded city that
elbowed in on his solitude and gave him a thin, fragmentary feeling of
truancy, like a summer runaway who had wandered into sound of the
familiar old admonitory school-bell. Cordelia soon formed the habit of
joining him in these rides, though for a girl from Kentucky and one who
had always made much of her love of horseflesh, she was not a good
rider. She explained this by the fact that she had fallen out of
practise, for one thing, and for another, that since Firefly, her old
Kentucky thoroughbred, had run away with her at home she always felt
more or less nervous in the saddle. Hartley took her in hand,
accordingly, and coached her at great pains and with much patience, and
as she learned to sit more comfortably on her mount her strange fear
melted away. As she discovered, too, that the daily gallop in the
morning air was bringing more vigor to her limbs and a fresher color to
her cheeks, her Southern dislike for all such active exercise soon
passed away.
Under Hartley's influence she even took to walking, though her first
lesson with that somewhat thoughtless instructor left her so fatigued in
body and nerve, and with such sadly blistered feet, that she had to keep
to her bed for the day following their tramp up and down the entire
length of Riverside Drive. But of this Hartley knew nothing.
Besides these many hours in the open air together there was an
occasional luncheon at Sherry's, and rustling, odorous, subdued
_musicales_ and recitals at Mendelssohn Hall, and now and then a supper
at the Waldorf after the theater, and a merry four-in-hand load or two
during the month to Ardsley, and suburban automobile jaunts, and
sufficient things of a like nature to cause Hartley to keep a judicious
eye on his engagement list and to question himself no longer as to
whether or not he was wringing the color out of life.
"Cordelia and you seem to be made for each other," said Mrs. Spaulding
at supper one evening in her own dining-room, after a charity dance at
the Waldorf. "At one time I actually thought the child would never care
for anything but books or what the newspapers were saying about her."
Mrs. Spaulding had drunk of her third bottle of champagne, and her voice
was not so carefully modulated as it might have been. Cordelia heard the
speech with painfully flushing face.
"And some day she'll go back to her books again," she said as she swept
from the room in a rage. Hartley was giving all his attention to his
Madeira jelly. Mrs. Spaulding looked after her with blank and
uncomprehending eyes.
"Poor dear!" she murmured. "She's such a silly, frail little thing. When
I see her in the hands of you men I feel exactly the same as I do when
Alfred gets handling my chinaware. And she's such a trustful child, too!
If it wasn't for her faith in you, really I'd tremble for her future."
Then Mrs. Spaulding filled Hartley's glass and light-headedly declared
that she had got hold of him just in time to save him from being a monk.
Yet Hartley was not altogether idle during these weeks. Each day he
threw a little sop of work to the Cerberus of conscience, adding from
time to time the finer touches to the manuscript of The Unwise Virgins
while it still lay before him in the rough. This treatment resulted in
an unexpected expansion of the story itself and left his pages in a
sadly undecipherable condition. Even he himself, however, could see how
those touches of after-thought were altering his earlier effort and
rounding out his severer structure into a work of more Gothic richness.
One Sunday afternoon late in October he carried the completed manuscript
over to Cordelia. A recent rain had washed the streets from curb to
curb, and under foot flagstone and asphalt lay clean as steel. There was
a cool freshness in the air, and the vigorous exercise as he went
swinging down the river front sent the blood bounding through his veins
once more. He stopped to watch the sea-gulls wheeling and dipping above
the gray waters of the Hudson--the sight of them filled him with a
sudden restless passion for a freedom that still seemed to have eluded
him. Then he turned to the Drive itself, and let his eyes rest on the
stream of flashing horses and hurrying carriages. He remembered what the
Spauldings' coachman had confided to him only a few days before: "They
don't last long in the city, sir, them horses; it shakes the shoulders
off 'n them."
He found Cordelia, excepting the servants, alone in the house. The
Spauldings had left the day before for Canada, she told him. Mrs.
Spaulding was to stay in Quebec City, while her husband--who had always
been fond of shooting--went north for moose. He had found it possible to
snatch a three weeks' belated vacation before the winter set in,
Cordelia explained, and described with not a little wit the sternness
with which he had arisen and dragged away a complaining and none too
willing wife.
"Our American husbands, you know, usually show more velvet than claws,"
she added.
She was gowned in a tightly fitting tailor-made dress of bottle green,
trimmed with gold. It seemed to deepen the color of her hair and at the
same time to give a touch of girlishness to her figure. She guessed at
once what Hartley held in his hand.
"I wonder if it could ever be a Silver Poppy the second?" he asked, as
he handed the manuscript over to her. Her mind flashed back to the birth
of that earlier book, and for a moment she looked hesitatingly up at
him.
"I'd rather read it alone," she said. "Do you mind?"
"I'd rather you did," he answered, wondering at the sudden little
sternness that had come over her. It seemed like the shadow on quiet
water of a taloned bird he could not see.
"Then I'll leave you in the library to smoke. You said you wanted to see
the press notices of the play--I think they'll keep you enough amused,"
she held the heavy _portières_ aside for him. Then she brought him her
huge, heavy scrap-book, and lingered a moment before the mantelpiece
mirror while he turned over a few of its first pages.
"May I look over all of it?" he asked, with his head bent over the
closely pasted pages of clippings.
"Yes, do; some day I'm going to call that book The Price of Fame."
He looked up from a page he had been glancing over, where a paragraph,
more faded than the others about it, caught his eye.
"Who is Fanny Rice?" he asked.
She was fixing her hair before the mirror and did not turn away from it
as she answered, after a moment's pause:
"She's my cousin--in Kentucky."
And as he dipped from page to page into notices from newspapers and
illustrated interviews from weeklies and studies from critical reviews,
frowning over some, laughing over others, she slipped away and left him.
An hour glided past and Cordelia did not return. Hartley took up a novel
from the table, and when another long hour dragged on he became uneasy.
He went to the foot of the stairs and called her. Then he rang for the
servants, but could get no response to his summons; they were all either
out at the moment or beyond sound of the bells.
He went to her study and tapped on the door. Hearing no sound, he opened
it and glanced in, but she was not there. He hesitated a moment, then
went from silent room to room through the great, quiet house in search
of her.
He found her at last in a nook of the upper west hall, which he had
heard Mrs. Spaulding speak of as the Quietude. She was bending over the
last pages of his manuscript in the paling evening light at the window,
curled up, cat-like, in a huge armchair. Her lips were slightly parted,
and as her white face bent over those last pages of his story some
eager, luminous hunger that dwelt in her eyes held Hartley spellbound.
He watched her without speaking.
When the last page was read she looked up slowly and let her absent eyes
dwell on him as her lips murmured something he could not catch. Then he
laughed a little and stepped toward her through the twilight.
At his first step he saw that he had been mistaken. She had neither
heard nor seen him. But she did not cry out, only a deadly whiteness
swept over her already pale face, and she put her hand up to her heart
with a quick little motion.
In a moment her fright had passed and she could breathe naturally once
more. The pale color crept slowly back into her face.
"I thought something might have happened," he said weakly.
"How you startled me!" she gasped, growing calmer as she spoke. Then she
shook her white skirts out and sat up more decorously in the chair. "You
must promise me never to do it again," she said softly. "It's heredity
with me, I think, for my old mammy nurse once told me it was a fright
that really killed my mother. You'll promise, won't you?"
She looked at him with solemn eyes. The gray twilight fell across her
face and melted into the gold of her hair. Her bottle-green gown seemed
black in the dusk, and her pale features, freighted with an elusive and
wistful pathos, seemed to Hartley, in that minute of fleeting but vivid
impression, like the face of some sweet lady of forgotten centuries
gazing out of the gloom of an old canvas. It was a face that held him
musingly spellbound, in which he could see and dream of things that were
not there, as in a fire by night or in a fountain by day.
He dropped on his knees beside her and caught her hands. She could see
the sudden flame of tumultuous love and of desire that burned through
him, and she drew away, strangely, almost in terror.
"No, no!" she cried in a low voice. "Not now! Not here!"
She pressed away from him, as from a danger, though on his face was
nothing but tenderness and pleading. She shrank from him hesitatingly,
as though the cup of devotion that he held up to her was something too
costly for her to taste.
A hurrying and startled chambermaid turning on the light brought them
back from that garden of enchantment into which youth can wander but
seldom. There was nothing left for them to do but walk soberly down
through the long halls of the quiet house to the library once more. Yet
all the while Cordelia seemed to be fighting some silent and inward
battle, to be swayed by some great conflict of emotion that trampled
from her the many long-thought-of things she had to say, as cavalry
tramples a field once golden with wheat.
She was silent and restless and nervous until Hartley gathered up the
scattered pages of The Unwise Virgins and put them in order on the
library table. Then she looked into his eyes and murmured tenderly, and
under the stress of a sudden impulse:
"I'm proud of you, so proud of you, my big boy!"
He looked down into her face--into her face, that he felt could change
like water. It was dignified, glorified by a light that he had seldom
seen on a woman's countenance, and it left him happy once more. The
artist in him, receiving its dole, elbowed the man in him slowly aside.
"Then it _will_ do?" he asked.
"It is all strength and all beauty," she said simply. Then she added in
another voice, "You have made me very humble."
She sighed pitifully as she looked at the pile of written pages.
"I have only imitated you," he declared.
"Imitated me?" she echoed.
"Yes. All along it was The Silver Poppy that was my model--that I tried
to follow from first to last."
"I feel as though you had given me a mental flogging," she broke in.
"None of this is mine! _None_ of it," she cried passionately. "None of
it, by right," she added as she gazed at the topmost sheet. "I was only
the mouse who pulled the thorn out of the lion's paw, and look what he
has done for me."
"But see what you have done, what you are doing for _me_!" he cried
impetuously. "And see what you can do, what some day you must do."
She held up a hand as though to bar it back, as though it were something
that still confounded her better judgment and might lead to lifelong
mistakes and sorrows.
Then he added, more gently: "Every page of this, Cordelia, is quite as
much yours as mine. You suggested it, you inspired it. If it were not
for you, dear, it should never have been written."
His hand was on the throttle of sacrifice, and he seemed bent on racing
the engine of self-abnegation to its last wheel-turn. Her face lighted
up with a new and fierce fire as he spoke. He wondered if that happy
smile was born of his first more intimate use of her Christian name.
"But _you_ have done it all!" she reiterated.
"Two authors always have to drive tandem in a case like this."
"How it will succeed!" she said dreamily. "You would hardly believe me
if I should tell you how much we shall make out of this."
He turned and resolutely tied up the loose pages. The flush of a new
energy was on him.
"What are you going to do?" she asked quickly.
"I'm going at it again--I've had a dozen ideas while you've been talking
to me--I feel that I've _got_ to go at it tooth and nail again."
"And it's agreed that you take one-half the royalties?" she broke in.
"No, no; the name, the start--that's quite all I ask."
She did not understand. "The start?"
"Yes, I can wait until I write my own book for dollars and royalties,
and all that sort of thing. _Now_ I'm glad enough to stand humbly beside
you."
Still she did not seem to understand. He felt that she was tired and
shaken.
"Why, I'm unknown, Cordelia, and you're famous. Think what it will mean
for me--The Unwise Virgins, by Cordelia Vaughan and John Hartley!"
She turned toward him quickly. He caught the startled look in her eyes,
and wondered at it. She tried to call up a smile; he could see her lips
twitch uselessly, like a desperate pilot tugging at a broken
signal-wire.
"Oh-h-h," she said softly, at last, "I hadn't thought of that!"
As he passed under her window he looked back at her through the
gathering darkness. She stood in the half-lighted window-square
vacantly, wide-eyed, wondering. He waved his hand back at her, lightly,
but she did not seem to see him. And he wondered what element in the
picture which that half-lighted window framed made him think of Perseis
as she watched the trireme of Ulysses swing up the sands of Ææa. He knew
but one thing, and that he knew assuredly. He loved her with all the
strength of his heart.