THE TWO VOICES
And so he lost, for like a sword
Still in his bosom prest
Her perilous face, and each soft word
Like thorns still tore his breast.
JOHN HARTLEY, "The Broken Knight."
It's in the lulls of life that great things are lost and won....
You struggle against the tides that beset you, and you hold your
own; but those tides never rest, and in the hour that you wait to
call for peace--then the waters shall carry you back.--"The Silver
Poppy."
Hartley dined frugally, though somewhat late, that night. Time had
slipped away unnoticed in his close little room till he woke to the fact
that he was extremely hungry. He was glad to get out into the open night
air, but as he sniffed at it gingerly on his way back to his room once
more there came to him, with a sudden pang, a memory of the evening
odors that hung over the far-away valley of the Isis.
As he stepped in through the jail-like doorway he all but stumbled over
Repellier, waiting for him there.
"I was down in this part of town," he explained, "so I decided to drop
in on you for a while--I have a model who hangs out in Chatham Street."
"Come up; come up, by all means," cried Hartley, elated.
As the younger man and his visitor picked their way through the narrow
halls of the tenement-house it was obvious to them both that the supper
hour of that district was not yet over. For the smell of many cooking
and overcooked meals, mingling with the odors that drifted at all times
of the day up through the crowded building, was not altogether pleasing
to the uninitiated nose. Repellier noticed, too, that Hartley looked
listless and worn and tired, and in some way strangely altered.
This was the gilded youth he had once beheld in a cushion-bestrewn punt
on the Isis, reading Anacreon. Groping after him up the odoriferous
narrow stairs, with a sudden deeper note of sympathy he asked Hartley
how he had been getting along of late.
"Five editorial rejections to-day," the young man answered half
blithely, half solemnly.
"But are you getting--what you expected out of things down here?"
"As you see"--Hartley tried to laugh back, bravely enough--"I'm afraid
I'm a sort of Zeno ground in my own mortar of squalidness."
Repellier knew as well as he how, with time, the novelty of such things
could lose its early glitter. The old artist felt troubled in spirit.
"Will you take my advice for a second time?" he asked suddenly.
Hartley said he would, gladly.
"Well, I'd suggest that you migrate before long--I think you'd better
change quarters, get where you'll have more sun and air. They're pretty
wearing, these places; you've been getting too much of a good thing."
Then he smiled, but hesitated to say what was on his lips.
"I think I'll stick it out," said Hartley stoutly.
They were in the dingy, squalid room by this time, and for some unknown
reason a constraint fell over them. The old artist noticed the Oxford
photographs stuck up about the broken walls and the gaps in the sadly
depleted shelf of books. He had never thought Hartley had it in him.
And again he felt troubled in spirit--he stood so helpless before the
very man on whom he had pinned his faith. He wondered in what way he
could reach a hand out to him--he knew only too well what any open offer
of help would mean.
"I wish you'd use your friends a little more," he said, as they sat and
smoked together.
"I've so jolly few, I've got to keep them," said Hartley, with his slow
English smile.
"You're a punctilious beggar, Hartley! I'm beginning to believe the Dean
of Worcester was right when he said you needed some of the Matthew
Arnold knocked out of you."
* * * * *
When Repellier had taken his departure, leaving his host with a
new-born, indefinite sense of unrest and discontent, Hartley thought it
all over. Why did he not use his friends? Repellier had dropped that
seed of interrogation on very open soil. Alone in his room Hartley
recalled what Cordelia Vaughan had said to him in her soft contralto
about nothing succeeding in America so much as success. After all, might
there not be such a thing as an overscrupulous judgment of motive and
action for the man of the world? Ethics, he tried to argue with himself,
were suitable enough for Oxford. What he wanted now was opportunity. He
demanded his chance. He had been too thin-skinned. He was in Rome, and
he must do what the Romans do. It was all his Anglo-Saxon tendency to be
stiff-necked. Why did he not make use of his friends? It was the very
nature of such things that made all friendship valuable. It would simply
be a matter of give and take between them. It would, too, never become a
matter of sentiment--he prided himself that he had his heart too well in
hand for that. He had too many great things still undone for any
entanglements of that sort. And yet, and yet--as the lonely young author
sat back on his hard-bottomed chair and recalled the soft contralto of
the Southern voice the noisy rattle of the elevated trains went out of
his ears. He was a stranger, and she had been very kind to him. The
confusion of yellows that floated and drifted before his eyes darkened
and deepened into gold, and the eyes that before had seemed cold to him
grew warm and lustrous.
He had been a very lonely young man. In his head fermented a dozen great
things still unaccomplished; chance had broken no clean channel through
the sour stagnation of those fermenting cross-purposes. And now the
artist in him aspired desperately for freedom. Again he wondered if,
after all, his older, uncompromising ideality, his older rigid sense of
right and wrong, was not the result of mingled priggishness and
petulance. Even though he had to stoop a little for this first start,
after all, it was a start. And once under way surely some new and
unforeseen avenue of escape would offer itself. And if for a time he
felt a half-caged conscience beating against its bars, he muffled that
last tremulous flutter in his cry for some release from the sordid
drudgery and the stultifying gloom that was holding him down.
Sitting up late into the night, Hartley rewrote his article on Cordelia
Vaughan. The insinuation of the personal equation into his work was
easier than it had looked. Time was, he knew, when he had rejoiced in
attacking these seven-day wonders of the world of letters, the noisy
idols with their posings and world-old impositions. He himself for
months had been doing miserable hack work in the services of an
unscrupulous syndicate, for a few paltry dollars a week, that he might
hold unpolluted from all that was sordid and commercial that inner and
more sacred fount. He had thrown his coat in the mire that his goddess
might still walk with white feet. He had never confounded his serious
work with the work of the moment. He had not asked for much; he could
live on little, very little indeed. He was willing to work humbly, so
long as he might only see some ultimate opportunity to labor on
unharrassed by the worries and impecuniosities that now hung over him,
and all but stifled him. With the Muse there must be no divided love. He
had long since learned that while the work of the creative mind is
joyous enough, it is likewise exhausting. All he cried out for was
opportunity. It was the artist aspiring for his freedom. It was the
creator casting about for his chance to create.
There were men in the city, Hartley knew, who were making fortunes by
their pen. But they were men who, only too often, had allowed the
temporary interest to intervene, men who had sought the immediate reward
of the dollar, men who put their finger, adroitly enough, on the pulse
of the world and gave it what it asked for, regardless of conscience and
consequence. Was he, too, to become one of these? Was this fragile and
pale-faced priestess of Mnemosyne, whose friendship had promised so much
for him, insidiously to forge the first link in that golden chain which
was to bind him down? Yet he had done nothing that was dishonorable.
After all, even the artist must have his modern ideas of the business
side of life. It was the law of the land.
So Hartley rewrote his article on Cordelia Vaughan. If there was any
little rift in the throbbing lute of his enthusiasm he solaced himself
with the thought that he was moving with the times, that he was growing
more politic, that being down on his luck had knocked some of the
sensitiveness out of him. He felt, too, that life of late had been
making him more humble. "You're so damned hopelessly honest!" his
editor had once disgustedly said of him. But now, as he wrote late into
the night, page after page, The Silver Poppy, though still unread by
him, paragraph by paragraph grew into a wonderful and still more
wonderful work, and Cordelia Vaughan, if not the openly accredited
George Eliot of America, was at least the apostle of that newer upward
movement which was to carry the American novel from the valley of mental
mediocrity to the clearest heights of the intellectual.