then, but at all times and under all circumstances, as all parts of the
Bible inform us, obedience to the light we possess is the way to gain
more light. In the words of Wisdom, in the book of Proverbs, "I love
them that love Me, and those that seek Me early shall find Me. . . . I
lead in the way of righteousness, in the midst of the paths of
judgment[28]." Or, in the still more authoritative words of Christ
Himself, "He that is faithful in that which is least, is faithful also
in much[29];" and, "He that hath, to him shall be given[30]."
Now let us see some of the consequences which follow from this great
Scripture truth.
1. First of all, we see the hopelessness of waiting for any sudden
change of heart, if we are at present living in sin. Far more persons
deceive themselves by some such vain expectation than at first sight
may appear. That there are even many irreligious men, who, from
hearing the false doctrines now so common, and receiving general
impressions from them, look forward for a possible day when God will
change their hearts by His own mere power, in spite of themselves, and
who thus get rid of the troublesome thought that now they are in a
state of fearful peril; who say they can do nothing till His time
comes, while still they acknowledge themselves to be far from Him; even
this I believe to be a fact, strange and gross as the self-deception
may appear to be. And others, too, many more, doubtless, are there
who, not thinking themselves far from Him, but, on the contrary, high
in His favour, still, by a dreadful deceit of Satan, are led to be
indolent and languid in their obedience to His commandments, from a
pretence that they can do nothing of themselves, and must wait for the
successive motions of God's grace to excite them to action. The utmost
these persons do is to talk of religion, when they ought to be up and
active, and waiting for the Blessed Spirit of Christ by obeying God's
will. "Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ
shall give thee light[31]." This is the exhortation. And doubtless to
all those who live a self-indulgent life, however they veil their
self-indulgence from themselves by a notion of their superior religious
knowledge, and by their faculty of speaking fluently in Scripture
language, to all such the word of life says, "Be not deceived; God is
not mooted," He tries the heart, and disdains the mere worship of the
lips. He acknowledges no man as a believer in His Son, who does not
anxiously struggle to obey His commandments to the utmost; to none of
those who seek without striving, and who consider themselves safe, to
none of these does He give "power to become sons of God[32]." Be not
deceived; such have fallen from that state in which their baptism
placed them and are "far from the kingdom of God." "Whatsoever a man
soweth, that shall he also reap[33]." And if any one says that St.
Paul was converted suddenly, and without his exerting himself, it is
sufficient to reply, that, guilty as St. Paul was, his guilt was not
that of indolence, and self-indulgence, and indifference. His sin was
that of _neglecting the study of Scripture_; and thus, missing the
great truth that Jesus was the Christ, he persecuted the Christians;
but though his conscience was ill-informed, and that by his own fault,
yet he obeyed it such as it was. He did what he did ignorantly. If
then the case really be that St. Paul _was_ suddenly converted, hence,
it is true, some kind of vague hope may be said to be held out to
furious, intolerant bigots, and bloodthirsty persecutors, if they are
acting in consequence of their own notions of duty; none to the
slothful and negligent and lukewarm; none _but_ to those who can say,
with St. Paul, that they have "lived in all good conscience before God
until this day[34];" and that not under an easy profession, but in a
straitest religious sect, giving themselves up to their duty, and
following the law of God, though in ignorance, yet with all their heart
and soul.
2. But, after all, there are very many more than I have as yet
mentioned, who wait for a time of repentance to come while at present
they live in sin. For instance, the young, who consider it will be
time enough to think of God when they grow old; that religion will then
come as a matter of course, and that they will then like it naturally,
just as they now like their follies and sins. Or those who are much
engaged in worldly business, who confess they do not give that
attention to religion which they ought to give; who neglect the
ordinances of the Church; who desecrate the Lord's day; who give little
or no time to the study of God's word; who allow themselves in various
small transgressions of their conscience, and resolutely harden
themselves against the remorse which such transgressions are calculated
to cause them; and all this they do under the idea that at length a
convenient season will come when they may give themselves to religious
duties. They determine on retiring at length from the world, and of
making up for lost time by greater diligence then. All such persons,
and how many they are! think that they will be able to seek Christ when
they please, though they have lived all their lives with no true love
either of God or man; i. e. they do not, in their hearts, believe our
Lord's doctrine contained in the text, that to obey God is to be near
Christ, and that to disobey is to be far from Him.
How will this truth be plain to us in that day when the secrets of all
hearts shall be revealed! _Now_ we do not believe that strict
obedience is as necessary as it is. I say we do _not_ believe it,
though we say we do. No one, of course, believes it in its fulness,
but most of us are deceived by words, and say we accept and believe,
when we hardly do more than profess it. We say, indeed, that obedience
is absolutely necessary, and are surprised to have our real belief in
what we say questioned; but we do not give the truth that place in the
scheme of our religion which this profession requires, and thus we
cheat our consciences. We put something _before_ it, in our doctrinal
system, as _more_ necessary than it, one man puts faith, another
outward devotion, a third attention to his temporal calling, another
zeal for the Church; that is, we put a part for the whole of our duty,
and so run the risk of losing our souls. These are the burnt-offerings
and sacrifices which even the scribe put aside before the weightier
matters of the Law. Or again, we fancy that the means of gaining
heaven are something stranger and rarer than the mere obvious duty of
obedience to God; we are loth to seek Christ in the waters of Jordan
rather than in Pharpar and Abana, rivers of Damascus; we prefer to seek
Him in the height above, or to descend into the deep, rather than to
believe that the word is nigh us, even in our mouth and in our
heart[35]. Hence, in false religions some men have even tortured
themselves and been cruel to their flesh, thereby to become as gods,
and to mount aloft; and in our own, with a not less melancholy, though
less self-denying, error, men fancy that certain strange effects on
their minds--strong emotion, restlessness, and an unmanly excitement
and extravagance of thought and feeling--are the tokens of that
inscrutable Spirit, who is given us, not to make us something _other
than_ men, but to make us, what without His gracious aid we never shall
be, upright, self-mastering men, humble and obedient children of our
Lord and Saviour.
In that day of trial all these deceits will be laid aside; we shall
stand in our own real form, whether it be of heaven or of earth, the
wedding garment, or the old raiment of sin[36]; and then, how many (do
we think) will be revealed as the heirs of light, who have followed
Christ in His narrow way, and humbled themselves after His manner
(though not in His perfection, and with nothing of His merit) to the
daily duties of soberness, mercy, gentleness, self-denial, and the fear
of God?
These, be they many or few, will then receive their prize from Him who
died for them, who has made them what they are, and completes in heaven
what first by conscience, then by His Spirit, He began here. Surely
they were despised on the earth by the world; both by the open sinners,
who thought their scrupulousness to be foolishness, and by such
pretenders to God's favour as thought it ignorance. But, in reality,
they had received from their Lord the treasures both of wisdom and of
knowledge, though men knew it not; and they then will be acknowledged
by Him before all creatures, as heirs of the glory prepared for them
before the beginning of the world.
[1] Eccles. xii. 13.
[2] Rom. xii. 2.
[3] 1 Cor. vii. 19.
[4] Phil. iv. 8.
[5] James ii. 10.
[6] 2 Pet. i. 5-7.
[7] John xiv. 21.
[8] Matt. v. 19.
[9] John vi. 46.
[10] John iii. 21.
[11] John vii. 17.
[12] John xv. 23.
[13] John viii. 19.
[14] 1 John ii. 23.
[15] 2 John 9.
[16] 2 Cor. iv. 4.
[17] Luke i. 6.
[18] Matt. i. 19.
[19] Luke ii. 25.
[20] John i. 47.
[21] Luke xxiii. 50.
[22] Acts x. 2.
[23] Acts xiii.
[24] Acts xvii.
[25] John iv. 3, 7.
[26] Luke i. 6.
[27] Luke xv. 7.
[28] Prov. viii. 17, 20.
[29] Luke xvi. 10.
[30] Mark iv. 25.
[31] Eph. v. 14.
[32] John i. 12.
[33] Gal. vi. 7
[34] Acts xxiii. 1.
[35] Rom. x. 8.
[36] Zech. iii. 4.
SERMON XV.
Sudden Conversions.
"_By the grace of God I am what I am: and His grace which was bestowed
upon me was not in vain._"--1 Cor. xv. 10.
We can hardly conceive that grace, such as that given to the great
Apostle who speaks in the text, would have been given in vain; that is,
we should not expect that it would have been given, had it been
foreseen and designed by the Almighty Giver that it would have been in
vain. By which I do not mean, of course, to deny that God's gifts are
oftentimes abused and wasted by man, which they are; but, when we
consider the wonderful mode of St. Paul's conversion, and the singular
privilege granted him, the only one of men of whom is clearly recorded
the privilege of seeing Christ with his bodily eyes after His
ascension, as is alluded to shortly before the text; I say, considering
these high and extraordinary favours vouchsafed to the Apostle, we
should naturally suppose that some great objects in the history of the
Church were contemplated by means of them, such as in the event were
fulfilled. We cannot tell, indeed, why God works, or by what rule He
chooses, we must always be sober and humble in our thoughts about His
ways, which are infinitely above our ways; but what would be
speculation, perhaps venturous speculation, before the event, at least
becomes a profitable meditation after it. At least, now, when we read
and dwell on St. Paul's history, we may discern and insist upon the
suitableness of his character, before his conversion, for that display
of free grace which was made in him. Not that he could merit such a
great mercy--the idea is absurd as well as wicked; but that such a one
as he was before God's grace, naturally grew by the aid of it into what
he was afterwards as a Christian.
His, indeed, was a "wonderful conversion," as our Church in one place
calls it, because it was so unexpected, and (as far as the appearance
went) so sudden. Who of the suffering Christians, against whom he was
raging so furiously, could have conceived that their enemy was to be
the great preacher and champion of the despised Cross? Does God work
miracles to reclaim His open malevolent adversaries, and not rather to
encourage and lead forward those who timidly seek Him?
It may be useful, then, to mention one or two kinds of what may be
called sudden conversions, to give some opinion on the character of
each of them, and to inquire which of them really took place in St.
Paul's case.
1. First; some men turn to religion all at once from some sudden
impulse of mind, some powerful excitement, or some strong persuasion.
It is a sudden resolve that comes upon them. Now such cases occur very
frequently where religion has nothing to do with the matter, and then
we think little about it, merely calling the persons who thus change
all at once volatile and light-minded. Thus there are persons who all
of a sudden give up some pursuit which they have been eagerly set upon,
or change from one trade or calling to another, or change their
opinions as regards the world's affairs. Every one knows the
impression left upon the mind by such instances. The persons thus
changing may be, and often are, amiable, kind, and pleasant, as
companions; but we cannot depend on them; and we pity them, as
believing they are doing harm both to their temporal interests and to
their own minds. Others there are who almost profess to love change
for change-sake; they think the pleasure of life consists in seeing
first one thing, then another; variety is their chief good; and it is a
sufficient objection in their minds to any pursuit or recreation, that
it is old. These, too, pass suddenly and capriciously from one subject
to another. So far in matters of daily life;--but when such a person
exhibits a similar changeableness in his religious views, then men
begin to be astonished, and look out with curiosity or anxiety to see
what is the meaning of it, and particularly if the individual who thus
suddenly changed, was very decided before in the particular course of
life which he then followed. For instance, supposing he not merely
professed no deep religious impressions, but actually was unbelieving
or profligate; or, again, supposing he not merely professed himself of
this creed or that, but was very warm, and even bitter in the
enforcement of it; then, I say, men wonder, though they do not wonder
at similar infirmities in matters of this world.
Nor can I say that they are wrong in being alive to such changes; we
_ought_ to feel differently with reference to religious subjects, and
not be as unconcerned about them as we are about the events of time.
Did a man suddenly inform us, with great appearance of earnestness,
that he had seen an accident in the street, or did he say that he had
seen a miracle, I confess it is natural, nay, in the case of most men,
certainly in the case of the uneducated, far more religious, to feel
differently towards these two accounts; to feel shocked, indeed, but
not awed, at the first--to feel a certain solemn astonishment and pious
reverence at the news of the miracle. For a religious mind is ever
looking towards God, and seeking His traces; referring all events to
Him, and desirous of His explanation of them; and when to such a one
information is brought that God has in some extraordinary way showed
Himself, he _will_ at first sight be tempted to believe it, and it is
only the experience of the number of deceits and false prophecies which
are in the world, his confidence in the Catholic Church which he sees
before him, and which is his guide into the truth, and (if he be
educated) his enlightened views concerning the course and laws of God's
providence, which keep him steady and make him hard to believe such
stories. On the other hand, men destitute of religion altogether, of
course from the first ridicule such accounts, and, as the event shows,
rightly; and yet, in spite of this, they are not so worthy our regard
as those who at first were credulous, from having some religious
principle without enough religious knowledge. Therefore, I am not
surprised that such sudden conversions as I have been describing
deceive for a time even the better sort of people--whom I should blame,
if I were called on to do so, not so much for the mere fact of their
believing readily, but for their not believing the Church; for
believing private individuals who have no authority more than the
Church, and for not recollecting St. Paul's words, "If any man . . .
though we, or an Angel from heaven, preach any other Gospel unto you
than that ye have received, let him be accursed[1]."
2. In the cases of sudden conversion I have been speaking of, when men
change at once either from open sin, or again from the zealous
partizanship of a certain creed, to some novel form of faith or
worship, their light-mindedness is detected by their frequent
changing--their changing again and again, so that one can never be
certain of them. This is the test of their unsoundness;--having no
root in themselves, their convictions and earnestness quickly wither
away. But there is another kind of sudden conversion, which I proceed
to mention, in which a man perseveres to the end, consistent in the new
form he adopts, and which may be right or wrong, as it happens, but
which _he_ cannot be said to recommend or confirm to us by his own
change. I mean when a man, for some reason or other, whether in
religion or not, takes a great disgust to his present course of life,
and suddenly abandons it for another. This is the case of those who
rush from one to the other extreme, and it generally arises from strong
and painful feeling, unsettling and, as it were, revolutionizing the
mind. A story is told of a spendthrift who, having ruined himself by
his extravagances, went out of doors to meditate on his own folly and
misery, and in the course of a few hours returned home a determined
miser, and was for the rest of his life remarkable for covetousness and
penuriousness. This is not more extraordinary than the fickleness of
mind just now described. In like manner, men sometimes will change
suddenly from love to hatred, from over-daring to cowardice. These are
no amiable changes, whether arising or not from bodily malady, as is
sometimes the case; nor do they impart any credit or sanction to the
particular secular course or habit of mind adopted on the change:
neither do they in religion therefore. A man who suddenly professes
religion after a profligate life, merely because he is sick of his
vices, or tormented by the thought of God's anger, which is the
consequence of them, and without the love of God, does no honour to
religion, for he might, if it so chanced, turn a miser or a
misanthrope; and, therefore, though religion is not at all the less
holy and true because he submits himself to it, and though doubtless it
is a much better thing for _him_ that he turns to religion than that he
should become a miser or a misanthrope, still, when he acts on such
motives as I have described, he cannot be said to do any honour to the
cause of religion by his conversion. Yet it is such persons who at
various times have been thought great saints, and been reckoned to
recommend and prove the truth of the Gospel to the world!
Now if any one asks what test there is that this kind of sudden
conversion is not from God, as instability and frequent change are the
test, on the other hand, in disproof of the divinity of the conversions
just now mentioned, I answer,--its moroseness, inhumanity, and
unfitness for this world. Men who change through strong passion and
anguish become as hard and as rigid as stone or iron; they are not fit
for life; they are only fit for the solitudes in which they sometimes
bury themselves; they can only do one or two of their duties, and that
only in one way; they do not indeed change their principles, as the
fickle convert, but, on the other hand, they cannot apply, adapt,
accommodate, modify, diversify their principles to the existing state
of things, which is the opposite fault. They do not aim at a perfect
obedience in little things as well as great; and a most serious fault
it is, looking at it merely as a matter of practice, and without any
reference to the views and motives from which it proceeds; most opposed
is it to the spirit of true religion, which is intended to fit us for
all circumstances of life as they come, in order that we may be humble,
docile, ready, patient, and cheerful,--in order that we may really show
ourselves God's servants, who do all things for Him, coming when He
calleth, going when He sendeth, doing this or that at His bidding. So
much for the practice of such men; and when we go higher, and ask _why_
they are thus formal and unbending in their mode of life, what are the
principles that make them thus harsh and unserviceable, I fear we must
trace it to some form of selfishness and pride; the same principles
which, under other circumstances, would change the profligate into the
covetous and parsimonious.
I think it will appear at once that St. Paul's conversion, however it
was effected, and whatever was the process of it, resembled neither the
one nor the other of these. That it was not the change of a fickle
mind is shown by his firmness in keeping to his new faith--by his
constancy unto death, a death of martyrdom. That it was not the change
of a proud and disappointed mind, quitting with disgust what he once
loved too well, is evidenced by the variety of his labours, his active
services, and continued presence in the busy thoroughfares of the
world; by the cheerfulness, alacrity, energy, dexterity, and
perseverance, with which he pleaded the cause of God among sinners. He
reminds us of his firmness, as well as gentleness, when he declares,
"What mean ye to weep, and break my heart? for I am ready not to be
bound only, but also to die at Jerusalem for the Name of the Lord
Jesus," and of his ready accommodation of himself to the will of God,
in all its forms, when he says, "I am made all things to all men, that
I might by all means save some[2]."
3. But there is another kind of sudden conversion, or rather what
appears to be such, not uncommonly found, and which may be that to
which St. Paul's conversion is to be referred, and which I proceed to
describe.
When men change their religious opinions really and truly, it is not
merely their opinions that they change, but their hearts; and this
evidently is not done in a moment--it is a slow work; nevertheless,
though gradual, the change is often not uniform, but proceeds, so to
say, by fits and starts, being influenced by external events, and other
circumstances. This we see in the growth of plants, for instance; it
is slow, gradual, continual; yet one day by chance they grow more than
another, they make a shoot, or at least we are attracted to their
growth on that day by some accidental circumstance, and it remains on
our memory. So with our souls: we all, by nature, are far from God;
nay, and we have all characters to form, which is a work of time. All
this must have a beginning; and those who are now leading religious
lives have begun at different times. Baptism, indeed, is God's time,
when He first gives us grace; but alas! through the perverseness of our
will, we do not follow Him. There must be a time then for beginning.
Many men do not at all recollect any one marked and definite time
_when_ they began to seek God. Others recollect a time, not, properly
speaking, when they began, but when they made what may be called a
shoot forward, the fact either being so, in consequence of external
events, or at least for some reason or other their attention being
called to it. Others, again, continue forming a religious character
and religious opinions as the result of it, though holding at the same
time some outward profession of faith inconsistent with them; as, for
instance, suppose it has been their unhappy condition to be brought up
as heathens, Jews, infidels, or heretics. They hold the notions they
have been taught for a long while, not perceiving that the character
forming within them is at variance with these, till at length the
inward growth forces itself forward, forces on the opinions
accompanying it, and the dead outward surface of error, which has no
root in their minds, from some accidental occurrence, suddenly falls
off; suddenly,--just as a building might suddenly fall, which had been
going many years, and which falls at this moment rather than that, in
consequence of some chance cause, as it is called, which we cannot
detect.