"Oh, yes, she's the sweetest missus in the world!"
That was the universal opinion of the servants who worked for Valentine
Wyndham. They never wanted to leave her, they never grumbled about her,
nor thought her gentle orders hard. The nurse, the cook, the housemaid,
stayed on, the idea of change did not occur to them.
Valentine and her little son came back to the house in town at the end
of October. Lilias came with them, and Adrian Carr often ran up to town
and paid a visit to the two.
One day he came with a piece of news. He had got the offer of an
incumbency not very far from Park-Lane. A fashionable church wanted a
good preacher. Carr had long ago developed unusual powers as a pulpit
orator, and the post, with a good emolument, was offered to him. He
came to consult Lilias and Valentine in the matter.
"Of course you must go," said Lilias. "My father will miss you--we
shall all--but that isn't the point. This is a good thing for you--a
great thing--you must certainly go."
"And I can often see you," responded Carr, eagerly. "Mrs. Wyndham will
let me come here, I hope, and you will often be here."
"I wish you would spend the winter with me, Lilias," said Valentine.
She had interpreted aright the expression in Carr's eyes, and soon
afterwards she left the room.
She went up to her own room, shut and locked the door, and then stood
gazing into the fire with her hands tightly locked together. She
inherited one gift from her father. She, too, could wear a mask. Now
it dropped from her, and her young face looked lined and old.
"It isn't the grief of losing him," she murmured under her breath.
"It's the pain--the haunting fear--that things are wrong. Have I known
my father all these years not to note the change in him? He shrinks
from me--he dreads me. Why? His conscience is guilty. Oh, Gerald, if I
had only let you look into my heart, perhaps you would not have gone
away. Oh, if only I had been in time to go on board the _Esperance_ you
would have been living now. Yes, Gerald, the terror never leaves me day
and night; you are dead, but God did not mean you to die. My own
Gerald--my heart would have been broken, or I should have lost my
reason, if I had not confided my fears to Mr. Carr. Some people perhaps
think I have forgotten--some again that I have ceased to love my
husband. How little they know! Of course I am bright outwardly. But my
heart is old and broken. I have had a very sad life--I am a very
unhappy woman. Only for little Gerry I couldn't live. He is sweet, but
I wish he were more like his father. Ah, there is nurse's knock at the
door. Coming, nurse. Is baby with you?"
Mrs. Wyndham unlocked her door, and a little round, dimpled,
brown-tinted child scampered in. He was followed by his nurse, a grave,
nice-looking woman of about thirty. She was a widow, and had a son of
her own.
"Has baby come to say good-night, Annette? Come here, sweet. Come into
mother's arms."
She sat down on a low chair by the fire, and the little man climbed on
her knee.
"I don't _'ike_ oo. I _'ove_ oo," he said.
"He's always saying that, ma'am," remarked the nurse. "He likes his
toys--he loves his mother."
"Course I 'ove my mother."
He laid his brown curly head on her breast.
"Nurse, is anything the matter? You don't look well."
"That's it, madam. I'm not ill in body, but I'm sore fretted in mind.
Now, baby, darling, don't you pull your dear ma to bits! The fact is,
ma'am, and sore I am to say it, I'm afraid I must leave this precious
child."
"Nurse!"
Valentine's arms dropped away from baby; baby raised his own curly
head, and fixed his brown eyes on the woman, his rosy lips pouted.
"Sore I am to say it, ma'am," repeated Annette, "but there's no help.
I've put off the evil day all I could, ma'am; but my mother's old, and
my own boy has been ill, and she says I must go home and see after them
both. Of course, madam, I'll suit your convenience as to the time of my
going, and I hope you'll get some one else as will love the dear child.
Come to bed, master baby, dear; your mother wants to go down to
dinner."
* * * * *
A few days after this, as Helps was taking his comfortable breakfast,
cooked to perfection by Cherry's willing hands, he raised his eyes
suddenly, looked across at his daughter Esther, and made a remark.
"I'm told poor young madam is in no end of a taking."
"What young madam, father?"
"Mrs. Wyndham. The nurse is going and the child has got whooping cough.
He's bad, too, poor little 'un, and frets about the nurse like
anything. My master's in a way, too; he's wrapped up in that little
lad. It was he told me; he said perhaps you'd know of a nurse as would
suit, Esther."
"Don't stare so, Cherry," said Esther. "Anybody would think father was
talking of ghosts, to see the bigness of your eyes. Well, father, yes,
I'll think about a nurse. I'm sorry the child is ill."
"Don't you go and get a nurse from the slums," retorted Cherry. "You're
all slums, you are. My word, I am having a time since that new lodger
took possession."
Here Cherry paused to pour fresh water into the tea-pot. Esther and her
father exchanged frightened glances.
"Brother Jerome, indeed!" proceeded this energetic young person. "He's
a mighty uneasy sort of Brother Jerome. His good deeds don't seem to
quieten him, anyway. And why does he always keep a hat stuck on his
head, and never raise it when he passes me on the stairs. I know I'm
broad and I'm stout, and I've no looks to boast of, but it's meant for
men to raise their hats to women, and I don't see why he shouldn't.
Then at night he walks the boards overhead fit to work on anybody's
nerves. I don't recite half so dramatic as I did, because I can't get
my sleep unbroken."
"Your tongue ain't stopped, anyway," said her uncle, almost crossly.
"Esther, you'll think about the nurse for young madam."
He rose and left the room.
Esther sat still a little longer. She heard Cherry rattling the plates
in the kitchen. Presently, she got up, put on her bonnet and cloak,
called good-bye to her cousin, and went out. There could scarcely be a
better Sister of the Poor than Esther Helps. She was near enough to
them socially to understand their sorrows. She had never known
starvation, but she could take in what tiny means meant--their mode of
speech was comprehensible to her, she was sufficiently unfastidious to
go into their dirty rooms, to witness their uncouth, semi-savage ways
without repulsion. She liked the life, it suited her, and her it. She
was the kind of woman to be popular as a district visitor. She had
abundance of both sympathy and tact. When her sympathies were aroused,
her manners could be affectionate. In addition, she had a very lovely
face. The poor of East London adore beauty; it comes so rarely near
them in any case that they look upon it as an inestimable treasure. The
women and children liked to watch Esther when she talked and when she
smiled. The men treated her with the respect due to a regal presence.
Esther went down as usual to her mission work to-day. Sister Josephine,
the head of this branch of work, greeted the handsome girl with a smile
when she came in, drew her aside, and spoke to her about a particularly
difficult undertaking which was soon to be commenced. This undertaking
would require the utmost tact and talent; the sister asked Esther if
she would be willing to become the head of the movement.
"I don't know anyone more suitable," she said in conclusion. "Only if
you come, you must consent to sleep away from home. Some of our
work--our principal work--will take place at night."
Esther's clear ivory-tinted skin became a shade paler. She looked full
at the sister with troubled but unshrinking eyes.
"You do me a great honor," she said. "But I am afraid I must decline
it. At present I cannot sleep away from home. It is also possible--yes,
it is quite possible--that I may have to give up the work altogether
for a time."
"Esther, are you putting your hand to the plough and looking back?"
"I don't know, Sister Josephine. Perhaps I am."
The sister laid her hand solemnly on the girl's arm.
"Esther, if you love anyone better than God, you have no right to come
here," she said.
Then she turned away and walked sorrowfully down the long mission room.
She was disappointed in Esther Helps, and though Esther's own heart
never faltered, she felt a sharp pang pierce it.
That night she came home late.
"Has Brother Jerome come in?" she asked Cherry.
"No. How you do fash about that man! His supper's waiting for him, and
I saw to his fire. Now I'm going to bed. I'm dead tired."
"Do, Cherry. I'll sit up for Brother Jerome."
"Ask him, for goodness sake, not to march the boards so frequent. He'll
have my grey hairs to account for. He's picked up a cough, too, and
between the creaking of the boards, and the coughing, I have nice
nights lately."
"You study too much, Cherry, or you wouldn't mind such little noises.
Now go to bed, dear. I'll give Brother Jerome a hint."
"Good-night, Esther. Uncle's been in bed an hour or more. I hope that
brother of the slums won't keep you long."
Cherry ran upstairs, and Esther went into the bright warm little
kitchen. She left the door wide open, and then she sat and waited.
The substance of Sister Josephine's words rang in her ears.
"If you love another better than God, you have no right to come here."
Did she love another better than God? No, no, impossible. A man had
influenced her life, and because of his influence she had given herself
up, soul and body, to God's service. How could she love the man best?
He had only pointed to the higher way.
Then she heard his step outside; his latch-key in the door, and she
felt herself tremble. He went straight upstairs, never glancing in the
direction of the kitchen; as he went he coughed, and his cough sounded
hollow. His figure, never remarkably upright, was much bent.
Esther waited a few minutes; then, her heart going pit-a-pat, she crept
very softly upstairs, passed her own room and Cherry's, and knocked at
Wyndham's door.
He came and opened it.
"Can I speak with you, brother?"
"Certainly. Come in, Esther?"
The attic had been converted into a wonderfully snug apartment. The bed
and washing apparatus were curtained off, and the part of the room
which surrounded the hearth revealed a bright fire, a little table on
which a tempting cold supper was spread, and a deep easy chair.
"Sit down, brother," said Esther, "and eat. Let me help you. I can talk
while you eat your supper. Are you very tired to-night? Yes, I am
afraid you are dreadfully tired."
"I am always tired, Esther. That is in the condition of things."
He sank back into his chair as if he were too weary to keep out of it.
Then, with a flash of the old Gerald Wyndham in his eyes and manner, he
sprang up.
"I was forgetting myself. Will you sit here!"
"What do you take me for, Mr.--Brother Jerome, I mean. I have come up
here to see you eat, to see you rest, and to--to--talk to you."
"Esther, I have no words to thank you. You are, yes, you are the
noblest woman I know."
She flushed all over; her eyes shone.
"And isn't that thanks for ever and ever?" she said in a voice in which
passion trembled.
Wyndham did not notice. He had taken off his hat, and Cherry's good
supper stood by his side. He ate a little, then put down his knife and
fork.
"Ain't you hungry, sir?"
"No. At first, when I came here, I was so starved that I never could
eat enough. Now I am the other way, not hungry at all."
"And, sir, you have got a cough."
"Yes, I had a very bad wetting last week, and a cough is the result.
Strange. I had no cough when I slept out of doors."
"Mr. Wynd--Brother Jerome, I mean, you wouldn't go back to that old
life? Say you wouldn't go back."
The almost anguish in her voice penetrated for the first time to
Wyndham's ear. He gave her a startled glance, then said with warmth:--
"Esther, you and your father have been good Samaritans to me; as long
as it is safe I will stay with you."
"It shall and must be safe. Who would look for you here, of all places,
when they think you are buried under the waves of the sea?"
"That is true. I expect it is perfectly safe for me to stay."
He lay back in his chair, and gazed into the fire; he had almost
forgotten Esther's presence.
"And you like it--you feel happier since you came?" she asked,
presently, in a timid voice.
"What did you say?"
"Mr. Wyndham," the forbidden name came out with a burst, "do tell poor
Esther Helps that you are happier since she found you."
She had fallen on her knees, the tears were streaming from her eyes;
she held out her hands to him.
"Oh," she said, "I would give my life for yours."
In a moment Wyndham's dreamy attitude left him; he sprang to his feet,
all alive and keen and watchful. He was the old Wyndham; his eyes were
full of pity, which made his whole face radiant.
"Hush," he said. "Get up. Don't say any more. Not another word--not a
syllable. You forget yourself. Esther. I saved you once--I must save
you again. Sit there, yes, there; I am quite strong. I must tell you
the truth. Esther, I said just now that you were the noblest woman I
know. You must go on being noble. I will stay here on that condition."
"Oh, sir, will you?" Poor Esther would have liked to shrink through the
very boards. "Will you forgive me, sir?"
"Hush; don't talk about forgiveness. There is nothing to forgive.
Esther, I will show you how much I trust you. I will talk to you about
my wife. I will tell you a little of my story; I mean the part I can
tell without implicating others."