CATCHING THE AUDIENCE.
"Great gosh!"
The man with the cold was so astonished that he stopped sneezing and
stared down into the hat.
"Where did them come from?" he gurgled, dazed.
"Right out of your maouth an' nose, Josiah!" cried the little woman
he had left in the front row, bobbing up excitedly to her feet and
flourishing an old umbrella.
"Set down, Nancy!" commanded the man. "All the folks is laughin' at ye!"
"Let 'em laugh! Keep on sneezin', Josiah!"
"Why, I---- Ker-chew! ker-chew! ker-chew!"
Down into the hat fell more silver dollars, jingling right merrily.
"That is first rate," complimented Frank Merriwell. "You are doing
finely, sir. We'll soon have a hat full."
"But where do they come from, that's whut I want to know?"
"Didn't I tell ye!" squealed the now thoroughly aroused little woman,
bobbing up again. "I see 'em when they flew aout of your maouth! Don't
stop sneezin', Josiah!"
"I'd like to know when I swallered all them silver dollars!" muttered
the "hayseed," craning his neck and pulling at his long beard, as he
peered into the hat.
The audience literally shouted with laughter. At last, Frank had done
something to catch the spectators.
At the back of the theater Manager Burnham was standing, and, for the
first time, he rubbed his hands together and smiled, saying to himself:
"The boy is all right! If he keeps this up, he'll hold a good part of
the audience. Didn't think he could do it. I am surprised."
"This process of sneezing silver dollars, ladies and gentlemen," smiled
the young magician, "is distinctly my own invention. I have applied for
a patent, and I shall prosecute all who infringe on my rights. I must
protect myself at---- What, again!"
"Ker-chew! ker-chew! ker-che-eew!" sneezed the farmer, and silver
dollars literally rained into the hat.
"Keep it up, Josiah--don't stop!" urged his wife, from her seat in the
front row.
"Gol darned if I don't!" gasped Josiah. "It's a regl'er snap to see 'em
fly inter the hat. Ker-chew! ker-chew!"
"We'll soon have the hat filled, sir," declared Frank.
"Waal, who be they goin' to b'long to?"
"To us."
"Us? Jest explain that."
"To you and me."
"Haow?"
"Of course you will be willing to divide with me, as you could not
produce the money without my aid."
"Waal," said the farmer, slowly and reluctantly, "I s'pose I'll have to
let ye hev part of it--say ten per cent."
Of course this was amusing to the audience.
"That is not at all satisfactory," said Frank, with a show of
disappointment.
"But the money's mine, fer I sneezed it."
"With my aid--don't forget."
"Waal, I---- Ker-chew! ker-chew! ker-chew!"
No more silver fell into the hat.
"Say!" shouted the farmer, excitedly; "whut's happened? Why didn't any
come then?"
"If I am to receive but ten per cent., I have decided not to assist you
in producing any more," said Frank, grimly.
"Give him twenty, Josiah--give him twenty!" fluttered the farmer's wife
from her seat, again waving the umbrella. "Yeou'd better do it! Yeou'll
be makin' a big thing at that."
"I s'pose I'll hev to," said the man. "All reddy now! I kin feel some
more sneezes comin'."
"But twenty per cent. does not satisfy me," asserted Merry.
Josiah groaned.
"Haow much do yeou want?" he asked. "Say quick!"
"You must divide equally with me, sir."
"Waal, if I must, I must. Git reddy! Here it comes! Ker-chew! ker-chew!
ker-chew-eew!"
Once more there was a shower of silver, and the hat seemed well filled.
"I think we will stop with this," said the youthful magician. "Of
course it would be very pleasant for us both to go on piling up money
like this, but the audience would get tired, and my first duty is to
carry out this performance and amuse them, as advertised."
He placed the hat on a small table, but the farmer's long arm shot out,
and his fingers clutched the coveted receptacle of all that money.
A moment later Josiah was staring in open-mouthed dismay into the hat,
which was----
Empty!
"Great smoke!"
The farmer managed to gasp forth the words.
"What is the matter, sir?" quietly asked Frank, without looking toward
the man.
"It--it's gone!"
"What's gone?"
"The money!"
Merry whirled, threw up his hands, gave a cry of feigned consternation.
"What have you done?" he demanded, wringing his hands.
"Why, I jest took up the hat arter yeou put it onter ther table, and
all the money was gone aout of it."
"What made you touch it? Why did you do it? That is why the money
disappeared. You should have let me handle it."
"Look here, young man," said the farmer, trying to appear indignant,
"yeou can't come this on me! Whut have yeou done with that money? Half
of it b'longs to me, an' b'gosh! I want it. Yeou must hev took it frum
the hat."
"I appeal to the audience. I simply placed the hat on the table, while
I prepared to count and divide the money with you. You caught it up,
and this is the result. You, sir, and you alone, must assume the
responsibility."
"That's right, Josiah!" cried the farmer's wife. "You're alwus doin'
some fool thing, an' naow you've done the biggest fool thing of your
life! If yeou'd let things alone yeou'd be better off."
The audience shouted with laughter once more, and Frank congratulated
himself on the outcome of his little piece of legerdemain.
But the old farmer seemed ready to shed tears.
"Say," he quavered, "can't we do that thing over ag'in? I'd like to
sneeze aout a few more dollars an' divide even with ye. I'll let yeou
do all the dividin', too."
"I don't know about it," said Merry, doubtfully. "I seldom repeat
anything before an audience, but----"
"But----"
"This time----"
"Yeou will?"
"My time is limited, but we'll see what we can do."
Frank took the hat and held it before the farmer.
"Now, sir," he urged.
The man wrinkled up his face, stared into the hat, scratched his nose
with his index finger, and then shook his head.
"Gosh!" he said, in great disappointment. "I don't seem to want to
sneeze naow."
"That's jest like him!" squawked the little woman, bobbing up
excitedly. "He never wants to do the right thing at the right time!
Sneeze, Josiah--sneeze! If yeou don't, I'll hev a few words to say to
yeou when we git hum!"
"Land, Nancy, how be I goin' to sneeze when I don't want to? Seems zif
I'd never want to sneeze ag'in."
"I am very sorry," said Merry; "but my time is limited, and I can't
wait. If you----"
"Ker-chew!"
Down jingled two silver dollars into the hat.
"That was rather weak," smiled Frank. "Can't you make it a trifle more
explosive? Those heavy ones count the----"
"Ker-chew!"
Two more dollars dropped into the hat.
"Come again," urged the youthful magician.
In vain Josiah tried to draw forth a genuine sneeze. Finding he could
not do so, he resorted to deception and feigned a sneeze.
No money fell into the hat.
Frank uttered a cry of pretended despair.
"Oh, why did you do that?" he fluttered. "The charm is broken! I should
have told you!"
"Whut is it?" asked the farmer, in great agitation. "Whut hev I done?"
"You faked that sneeze. It was not genuine."
"Whut of that?"
"You broke the charm, and now you might sneeze your head off without
sneezing out so much as a plugged nickel. It's all over."
"Josiah Doodle," came from the little woman, "yeou don't know so much
as I thought ye did, an' I never thought ye knew anything! Git your
sheer of whut there is in the hat an' come down often that air platform
before yeou do something to etarnally disgrace yourself."
"Here, sir," said Frank, taking the money out of the hat, "is exactly
four dollars. Two dollars belong to you. Here they are."
He gave them to the farmer, who clutched them eagerly. Frank led him to
the steps, and he went down from the stage.
There was a great burst of applause. As the noise died down, Josiah was
heard saying to his wife:
"Now don't sputter abaout it, Nancy! I got two dollars, an' I'd sneeze
twice as much ev'ry day for that money."
That produced the greatest uproar yet, and, looking at his watch, when
the noise subsided, Frank announced:
"The thirty minutes of free entertainment is over, ladies and
gentlemen, and now we come to the real show, for the following feats
will include the most famous marvels performed by Zolverein himself.
Those who wish may go now and collect their money at the box office,
but I guarantee satisfaction for all who remain. If at the conclusion
of the performance anybody is dissatisfied, he may call at the box
office then and his money will be refunded. I shall begin the regular
performance with the 'Miraculous Wineglasses,' which will be remembered
as one of Prof. Zolverein's favorite feats. Prof. Pombal, something
lively, please."
The pianist was ready, and he struck into a rollicking tune that was
calculated to set the blood of the listeners dancing.
Not a person left the theater.
Frank had caught the audience all right.