MR. FRANK WATKINS, MRS. FOUNTAIN, FOUNTAIN

_Watkins_, opening the door for himself and struggling into the room

with an armful of parcels: "I'm with you there, Clarence. Christmas is

at the root of Christmas shopping, and Christmas giving, and all the

rest of it. Oh, you needn't be afraid, Lucy. I didn't hear any

epithets; just caught the drift of your argument through the keyhole.

I've been kicking at the door ever since you began. Where shall I dump

these things?"

_Mrs. Fountain_: "Oh, you poor boy! Here--anywhere--on the floor--on

the sofa--on the table." She clears several spaces and helps Watkins

unload. "Clarence! I'm surprised at you. What are you thinking of?"

_Fountain_: "I'm thinking that if this goes on, I'll let somebody else

arrange the presents."

_Watkins_: "If I saw a man coming into my house with a load like this

to-night, I'd throw him into the street. But living in a ninth-story

flat like you, it might hurt him."

_Mrs. Fountain_, reading the inscriptions on the packages: "'For Benny

from his uncle Frank.' Oh, how sweet of you, Frank! And here's a kiss

for his uncle Frank." She embraces him with as little interruption as

possible. "'From Uncle Frank to Jim.' Oh, I know what that is!" She

feels the package over. "And this is for 'Susy from her aunt Sue.' Oh,

I knew she would remember her namesake. 'For Maggie. Merry Christmas

from Mrs. Watkins.' 'Bridget, with Mrs. Watkins's best wishes for a

Merry Christmas.' Both the girls! But it's like Sue; she never forgets

anybody. And what's this for Clarence? I _must_ know! Not a

bath-gown?" Undoing it: "I simply _must_ see it. Blue! His very

color!" Holding it up: "From you, Frank?" He nods. "Clarence!"

_Watkins_: "If Fountain tries to kiss me, I'll--"

_Fountain_: "I wouldn't kiss you for a dozen bath-gowns." Lifting it

up from the floor where Mrs. Fountain has dropped it: "It _is_ rather

nice."

_Watkins_: "Don't overwhelm me."

_Mrs. Fountain_, dancing about with a long, soft roll in her hand: "Oh,

oh, oh! She saw me gloating on it at Shumaker's! I do wonder if it

_is_."

_Fountain_, reaching for it: "Why, open it--"

_Mrs. Fountain_: "You dare! No, it shall be opened the very last thing

in the morning, now, to punish you! How is poor Sue? I saw her

literally dropping by the way at Shumaker's."

_Watkins_, making for the door: "Well, she must have got up again. I

left her registering a vow that if ever she lived to see another

Christmas she would leave the country months before the shopping

began. She called down maledictions on all the recipients of her gifts

and wished them the worst harm that can befall the wicked."

_Mrs. Fountain_: "Poor Sue! She simply lives to do people good, and I

can understand exactly how she feels toward them. I'll be round bright

and early to-morrow to thank her. Why do you go?"

_Watkins_: "Well, I can't stay here all night, and I'd better let you

and Clarence finish up." He escapes from her detaining embrace and

runs out.

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