_House of Commons, Monday, March 17._--St. Patrick's Day in the evening.
Every Irish Member carries in buttonhole bit of withered grass; at least
looks like withered grass. DICK POWER says it's shamrock. Anyhow it
leads to dining-out, and business to fore being nothing more important
than voting a few millions sterling for the Navy, House almost empty.
"So much the better for me," says GEORGIE HAMILTON, in charge of Navy
Estimates; "the fewer Members the more Votes."
So it proved. Whilst GEORGIE descanting on excellence of Naval
Administration, House so empty that Count moved. A little hard this on a
Minister in charge of most important department of State; but, after
all, Votes were the thing, and Votes were taken hand-over-hand.
GEORGIE'S oration being cut short by attempt to Count he sat down, and
as quick as Chairman could put question L3,312,500 of our hard-earned
money was voted. Hadn't been in the House five minutes when bang went
another million. Only half-a-dozen of us present, including WILSON of
Hull, who sat on edge of Bench, with hat in hand, staring at COURTNEY,
as he ticked off million after million. For myself, as representing a
Constituency of the Gentlemen of England, grew rather to like it.
Something exhilarating in the consciousness that you, being one of eight
Members representing the House of Commons, can say "Aye" or "No" to
proposal to vote a million sterling more or less. "The question is,"
says COURTNEY, "that a sum not exceeding L1,103,200 be voted to HER
MAJESTY on account of sums falling due for victualling, clothing and
Naval establishments. Those that are of that opinion, say 'Aye;'
contrary 'No.'"
Well, what shall you do? Pretty stiff sum; get a pretty lot of victuals
for the million; several suits of clothes for the L103,000. Should you,
just to show your independence, knock off the odd L200? No. Barks likes
the thing done generously. Why throw in a note of discord? Besides, it
doesn't all come out of your pocket. So you say "Aye;" GEORGIE HAMILTON
nods in grateful appreciation; COURTNEY seems relieved; the thing's
done, and you walk out with a glowing consciousness of having behaved
handsomely.
Slight coolness sprung up between OLD MORALITY and GRANDOLPH. Of late
been on rather friendly terms, despite occasional kicking over of the
traces by GRANDOLPH.
"Boys will be boys," OLD MORALITY says, smiling genially on his young
friend. To-day little hitch arisen; GRANDOLPH has sent to papers text of
his Memorandum addressed to FIRST LORD of TREASURY in 1888, warning them
against appointing Special Commission. GRANDOLPH, having set forth with
masterly force his objections to scheme, winds up with remark:--"These
reflections have been sketched out concisely. _If submitted to a
Statesman_, many more, and much graver reflections, would probably be
suggested." OLD MORALITY hadn't noticed it before; but now words in
print stare him in face, doesn't like it. "'Submitted to a Statesman,'"
he murmured--"what does the fellow mean? Weren't they submitted to Me?"
_Business done._--Voted money by hands-full.
_Tuesday._--As a means of suffusing Treasury Bench with hearty,
unaffected hilarity, nothing so effective as a defeat in Division Lobby.
Noticed this twice of late. The other night, when HAMLEY'S Motion on
behalf of Volunteers was, _malgre lui_, carried against the Government,
you'd have thought, to look on Treasury Bench, that some good news had
suddenly flashed upon them. OLD MORALITY beaming with smiles; STANHOPE
smirking; and even the countenance of JOKIM convulsively working with
what was understood to be signs of merriment. Same thing happened
to-night. BUCHANAN brought forward Motion proposing to intrust to County
Councils duty of maintaining and protecting rights of way in Scotland.
Scotch Members united in support of popular demand, only MARK STEWART
having his doubts. Even FINLAY made bold to hint Government would do
well to listen to demand. CHAMBERLAIN openly and effectively declared on
behalf of Resolution; Government seemed to be in tight place; OLD
MORALITY moved uneasily in seat; still it would never do to interfere
with Dukes and others furtively or openly engaged in the task of closing
up paths over mountains, or shutting off walks by the lakes. Very
awkward and inconsiderate of CHAMBERLAIN going off on this tack.
"Can't eat your cake and have it, you know," OLD MORALITY said,
unconsciously forming the words on his copy of the Orders in large
copy-book hand, "Mustn't play fast and loose with custodians of the
Union. Oughtn't to look back when you put your hand to the plough.
Should go the whole hog or none." These and other comforting phrases he
wrote out in best copper-plate, filling up time whilst House cleared for
Division. But when Tellers came back, and it was known that Resolution
was carried against Government, clouds passed away.
OLD MORALITY tore up his copy-book headings, thrust hands in pockets;
assumed truculently jovial air; nearly died of laughing when SPEAKER
announced figures showing Government had been defeated by 13. His
hilarity contagious. Mr. BIDDULPH standing for a moment in the doorway
below the shadow of the Gallery, looked on, his face slowly broadening
into responsive smile.
"Well," said he, "of all the rollicking dogs I ever came across, there
never was a pack to equal Her Majesty's Ministers in the hour of
defeat."
_Business done._--BUCHANAN'S Right of Way Motion carried against
Government by 110 against 97.
_Wednesday._--"I like this quite quiet hour, TOBY," said the SPEAKER, as
I sat on the Treasury Bench, he at Table, waiting for a quorum. "It
gives me opportunity of reading in _Freeman's Journal verbatim_ reports
of speeches by TANNER, SHEEHY, and WILLIAM REDMOND. Heard them
delivered, of course; but there are some pleasures one likes to renew."
Should have begun business at twelve; now getting on for one. ALBERT
ROLLIT in charge of Bankruptcy Bill with back to wall waiting for a
quorum. "Must see," he says, "if I can't frame Clause dealing specially
with Parliamentary proceedings. We shall shortly be bankrupt here if
this sort of thing goes on. Composition of four and a-half hours'
sitting on Wednesday afternoon scarcely enough to justify honourable
discharge."
Everything comes to man who waits. Quorum came for ROLLIT. Numbers
increased as he proceeded with singularly lucid address, investing even
Bankruptcy with subtle charms. Gave the tone to thoroughly business
Debate; and, even in less than the maimed period of time allotted, had
carried his Bill through Second Reading.
_Business done._--Bankruptcy Bill read Second Time.
[Illustration: MAXIMS FOR THE BAR. No. III.
"Never allow the Judge to bully you. On the contrary, be firm with
_him_."]
_Thursday._--JOHN O'CONNOR pervading House with profoundest mystery.
When Orders of Day called on, JOHN rose to his full height (6 foot 4 of
human kindness and geniality), and said, "Mr. SPEAKER!" Motion was, that
House should go into Committee of Supply. According to New Rules,
SPEAKER leaves Chair without putting Question; Question not put, obvious
no one could discuss it. But here was JOHN insisting on catching the
SPEAKER'S eye.
"Mr. SPEAKER!" he repeated, "I want to discuss some of the
irregularities of the Government."
But SPEAKER had executed strategic retreat; Chair empty; JOHN standing
on tiptoe, followed retreating figure with despairing cry, "Mr.
SPEAKER!" House half hoped SPEAKER would return; dying with curiosity to
know what fresh irregularity on part of Government JOHN had discovered;
but no help for it. Chair empty; technically "No House;" and JOHN,
slowly subsiding, shutting up like a reluctant telescope, resumed seat.
Prince ARTHUR, back from Golf at Eastbourne, looking better for his
holiday, lounged on Treasury Bench watching scene. "Alas!" he cried,
eyeing JOHN with dreamy glance, what time the fingers of his hand--a
strayed reveller--fitfully played with the rolled copy of his Orders, as
if it were his cherished Mandoline--
"Alas for those who never sing,
But die with all their music in them."
_Business done._--Vote on Account passed.
_Friday._--Lords had nice little "plant" on to-night. The SAGE OF QUEEN
ANNE'S GATE got first place in other House for Motion decreeing their
abolition. "Such larks!" says the MARKISS; "let's get up big debate here
on House of Commons subject; draw away their men; leave SAGE in lurch."
So arranged Debate on Report of Parnell Commission for to-night. Full
dress affair; all the big guns to go off; Curiosity as to how they'd
treat too familiar subject. Plan answered admirably. Both shows running
together, Lords, as most novel entertainment, fuller spectacular
entertainment, drew the cake. Instead of crowded House that usually
waits when SAGE lunges at the Lords, beggarly array of empty Benches.
Rather depressing even for imperturbable SAGE. Little later, Members
finding things dull in Lords, came back in time to hear GEORGE CURZON.
Capital speech; sparkle on the top; but some quiet depths of closely
reasoned argument below.
_Business done._--SAGE'S Motion for abolition of Lords negatived by 201
Votes against 139. Thus reprieved, Lords ordered Report of Parnell
Commission to be duly recorded.
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