another continually, mustard by whole shovelfuls. Immediately after
that he drank a horrific draft of white wine for the ease of his
kidneys. When that was done, he ate according to the season meat
agreeable to his appetite, and then left off eating when he was like
to crack for fulness. As for his drinking, he had neither end nor
rule. For he was wont to say, that the limits and bounds of drinking
were when the cork of the shoes of him that drinketh swelleth up half
a foot high.
Then heavily mumbling a scurvy grace, he washed his hands in fresh
wine, picked his teeth with the foot of a pig, and talked jovially
with his attendants. Then the carpet being spread, they brought great
store of cards, dice, and chessboards.
After having well played, reveled, passed and spent his time, it was
proper to drink a little, and that was eleven goblets the man; and
immediately after making good cheer again, he would stretch himself
upon a fair bench, or a good large bed, and there sleep two or three
hours together without thinking or speaking any hurt. After he was
awakened he would shake his ears a little. In the mean time they
brought him fresh wine. Then he drank better than ever. Ponocrates
showed him that it was an ill diet to drink so after sleeping. "It
is," answered Gargantua, "the very life of the Fathers; for naturally
I sleep salt, and my sleep hath been to me instead of so much ham."
Then began he to study a little, and the paternosters first, which the
better and more formally to dispatch, he got up on an old mule which
had served nine kings; and so mumbling with his mouth, doddling his
head, would go see a coney caught in a net. At his return he went into
the kitchen to know what roast meat was on the spit; and supped very
well, upon my conscience, and commonly did invite some of his
neighbors that were good drinkers; with whom carousing, they told
stories of all sorts, from the old to the new. After supper were
brought in upon the place the fair wooden gospels--that is to say,
many pairs of tables and cards--with little small banquets, intermined
with collations and reer-suppers. Then did he sleep without unbridling
until eight o'clock in the next morning.
When Ponocrates knew Gargantua's vicious manner of living, he resolved
to bring him up in another kind; but for a while he bore with him,
considering that nature does not endure sudden changes without great
violence. Therefore, to begin his work the better, he requested a
learned physician of that time, called Maître Theodorus, seriously to
perpend, if it were possible, how to bring Gargantua unto a better
course. The said physician purged him canonically with Anticyran
hellebore, by which medicine he cleansed all the alteration and
perverse habitude of his brain. By this means also Ponocrates made him
forget all that he had learned under his ancient preceptors. To do
this better, they brought him into the company of learned men who were
there, in emulation of whom a great desire and affection came to him
to study otherwise, and to improve his parts. Afterward he put himself
into such a train of study that he lost not any hour in the day, but
employed all his time in learning and honest knowledge. Gargantua
awaked then about four o'clock in the morning.
While they were rubbing him, there was read unto him some chapter of
the Holy Scripture aloud and clearly, with a pronunciation fit for the
matter; and hereunto was appointed a young page born in Basché, named
Anagnostes. According to the purpose and argument of that lesson, he
oftentimes gave himself to revere, adore, pray, and send up his
supplications to what good God whose word did show His majesty and
marvelous judgments. Then his master repeated what had been read,
expounding unto him the most obscure and difficult points. They then
considered the face of the sky, if it was such as they had observed it
the night before, and into what signs the sun was entering, as also
the moon for that day. This done, he was appareled, combed, curled,
trimmed, and perfumed, during which time they repeated to him the
lessons of the day before. He himself said them by heart, and upon
them grounded practical cases concerning the estate of man; which he
would prosecute sometimes two or three hours, but ordinarily they
ceased as soon as he was fully clothed. Then for three good hours
there was reading. This done, they went forth, still conferring of the
substance of the reading, and disported themselves at ball, tennis, or
the _pile trigone_; gallantly exercising their bodies, as before they
had done their minds. All their play was but in liberty, for they left
off when they pleased; and that was commonly when they did sweat, or
were otherwise weary. Then were they very well dried and rubbed,
shifted their shirts, and walking soberly, went to see if dinner was
ready. While they stayed for that, they did clearly and eloquently
recite some sentences that they had retained of the lecture.
In the mean time Master Appetite came, and then very orderly sat they
down at table. At the beginning of the meal there was read some
pleasant history of ancient prowess, until he had taken his wine. Then
if they thought good, they continued reading, or began to discourse
merrily together; speaking first of the virtue, propriety, efficacy,
and nature of all that was served in at that table; of bread, of wine,
of water, of salt, of flesh, fish, fruits, herbs, roots, and of their
dressing. By means whereof, he learned in a little time all the
passages that on these subject are to be found in Pliny, Athenæus,
Dioscorides, Julius Pollux, Gallen, Porphyrius, Oppian, Polybius,
Heliodorus, Aristotle, Ælian, and others. While they talked of these
things, many times, to be more the certain, they caused the very books
to be brought to the table; and so well and perfectly did he in his
memory retain the things above said, that in that time there was not a
physician that knew half so much as he did. Afterward they conferred
of the lessons read in the morning; and ending their repast with some
conserve of quince, he washed his hands and eyes with fair fresh
water, and gave thanks unto God in some fine canticle, made in praise
of the divine bounty and munificence.
This done, they brought in cards, not to play, but to learn a thousand
pretty tricks and new inventions, which were all grounded upon
arithmetic. By this means he fell in love with that numerical science;
and every day after dinner and supper he passed his time in it as
pleasantly as he was wont to do at cards and dice: so that at last he
understood so well both the theory and practise thereof, that Tonstal
the Englishman, who had written very largely of that purpose, confest
that verily in comparison of him he understood nothing but double
Dutch; and not only in that, but in the other mathematical sciences,
as geometry, astronomy, music. For while waiting for the digestion of
his food, they made a thousand joyous instruments and geometrical
figures, and at the same time practised the astronomical canons.
After this they recreated themselves with singing musically, in four
or five parts, or upon a set theme, as it best pleased them. In matter
of musical instruments, he learned to play the lute, the spinet, the
harp, the German flute, the flute with nine holes, the violin, and the
sackbut. This hour thus spent, he betook himself to his principal
study for three hours together, or more, as well to repeat his
matutinal lectures as to proceed in the book wherein he was; as also
to write handsomely, to draw and form the antique and Roman letters.
This being done, they went out of their house, and with them a young
gentleman of Touraine, named Gymnast, who taught him the art of
riding.
Changing then his clothes, he mounted on any kind of a horse, which he
made to bound in the air, to jump the ditch, to leap the palisade, and
to turn short in a ring both to the right and left hand. There he
broke not his lance; for it is the greatest foolishness in the world
to say, I have broken ten lances at tilts or in fight. A carpenter can
do even as much. But it is a glorious and praiseworthy action with one
lance to break and overthrow ten enemies. Therefore with a sharp,
strong, and stiff lance would he usually force a door, pierce a
harness, uproot a tree, carry away the ring, lift up a saddle, with
the mail-coat and gantlet. All this he did in complete arms from head
to foot. He was singularly skilful in leaping nimbly from one horse to
another without putting foot to ground. He could likewise from either
side, with a lance in his hand, leap on horseback without stirrups,
and rule the horse at his pleasure without a bridle; for such things
are useful in military engagements. Another day he exercised the
battle-ax, which he so dextrously wielded that he was passed knight of
arms in the field.
Then tossed he the pike, played with the two-handed sword, with the
back sword, with the Spanish tuck, the dagger, poniard, armed,
unarmed, with a buckler, with a cloak, with a target. Then would he
hunt the hart, the roebuck, the bear, the fallow deer, the wild boar,
the hare, the pheasant, the partridge, and the bustard. He played at
the great ball, and made it bound in the air, both with fist and foot.
He wrestled, ran, jumped, not at three steps and a leap, nor a
hopping, nor yet at the German jump; "for," said Gymnast, "these jumps
are for the wars altogether unprofitable, and of no use": but at one
leap he would skip over a ditch, spring over a hedge, mount six paces
upon a wall, climb after this fashion up against a window, the height
of a lance.
He did swim in deep waters on his face, on his back, sidewise, with
all his body, with his feet only, with one hand in the air, wherein he
held a book, crossing thus the breadth of the river Seine without
wetting, and dragging along his cloak with his teeth, as did Julius
Cæsar; then with the help of one hand he entered forcibly into a boat,
from whence he cast himself again headlong into the water, sounded the
depths, hollowed the rocks, and plunged into the pits and gulfs. Then
turned he the boat about, governed it, led it swiftly or slowly with
the stream and against the stream, stopt it in its course, guided it
with one hand, and with the other laid hard about him with a huge
great oar, hoisted the sail, hied up along the mast by the shrouds,
ran upon the bulwarks, set the compass, tackled the bowlines, and
steered the helm. Coming out of the water, he ran furiously up
against a hill, and with the same alacrity and swiftness ran down
again. He climbed up trees like a cat, leaped from the one to the
other like a squirrel. He did pull down the great boughs and branches,
like another Milo: then with two sharp well-steeled daggers, and two
tried bodkins, would he run up by the wall to the very top of a house
like a rat; then suddenly come down from the top to the bottom, with
such an even disposal of members that by the fall he would catch no
harm.
He did cast the dart, throw the bar, put the stone, practise the
javelin, the boar-spear or partizan, and the halbert. He broke the
strongest bows in drawing, bended against his breast the greatest
cross-bows of steel, took his aim by the eye with the hand-gun,
traversed the cannon; shot at the butts, at the pape-gay, before him,
sidewise, and behind him, like the Parthians. They tied a cable-rope
to the top of a high tower, by one end whereof hanging near the ground
he wrought himself with his hands to the very top; then came down
again so sturdily and firmly that you could not on a plain meadow have
run with more assurance. They set up a great pole fixt upon two trees.
There would he hang by his hands, and with them alone, his feet
touching at nothing, would go back and fore along the aforesaid rope
with so great swiftness, that hardly could one overtake him with
running.
III
OF THE FOUNDING OF AN IDEAL ABBEY[15]
There was left only the monk to provide for; whom Gargantua would have
made Abbot of Seuillé, but he refused it. He would have given him the
Abbey of Bourgueil, or of Sanct Florent, which was better, or both if
it pleased him; but the monk gave him a very peremptory answer, that
he would never take upon him the charge nor government of monks. "For
how shall I be able," said he, "to rule over others, that have not
full power and command of myself? If you think I have done you, or may
hereafter do you any acceptable service, give me leave to found an
abbey after my own mind and fancy." The motion pleased Gargantua very
well; who thereupon offered him all the country of Thelema by the
river Loire, till within two leagues of the great forest of
Port-Huaut. The monk then requested Gargantua to institute his
religious order contrary to all others.
[Footnote 15: From Book I of "The Inestimable Life of the Great
Gargantua, Father of Pantagruel." The Urquhart-Motteux translation.]
"First, then," said Gargantua, "you must not build a wall about your
convent, for all other abbeys are strongly walled and mured about."
Moreover, seeing there are certain convents in the world whereof the
custom is, if any women come in--I mean honorable and honest
women--they immediately sweep the ground which they have trod upon;
therefore was it ordained that if any man or woman, entered into
religious orders, should by chance come within this new abbey, all the
rooms should be thoroughly washed and cleansed through which they had
passed.
And because in other monasteries all is compassed, limited, and
regulated by hours, it was decreed that in this new structure there
should, be neither clock nor dial, but that according to the
opportunities, and incident occasions, all their works should be
disposed of; "for," said Gargantua, "the greatest loss of time that I
know is to count the hours. What good comes of it? Nor can there be
any greater folly in the world than for one to guide and direct his
courses by the sound of a bell, and not by his own judgment and
discretion."
_Item_, Because at that time they put no women into nunneries but such
as were either one-eyed, lame, humpbacked, ill-favored, misshapen,
foolish, senseless, spoiled, or corrupt; nor encloistered any men but
those that were either sickly, ill-bred, clownish, and the trouble of
the house:
("Apropos," said the monk--"a woman that is neither fair nor good, to
what use serves she?" "To make a nun of," said Gargantua. "Yes," said
the monk, "and to make shirts.")
Therefore, Gargantua said, was it ordained, that into this religious
order should be admitted no women that were not fair, well-featured,
and of a sweet disposition; nor men that were not comely, personable,
and also of a sweet disposition.
_Item_, Because in the convents of women men come not but underhand,
privily, and by stealth? it was therefore enacted that in this house
there shall be no women in case there be not men, nor men in case
there be not women.
_Item_, Because both men and women that are received into religious
orders after the year of their novitiates were constrained and forced
perpetually to stay there all the days of their life: it was ordered
that all of whatever kind, men or women, admitted within this abbey,
should have full leave to depart with peace and contentment whensoever
it should seem good to them so to do.
_Item_, For that the religious men and women did ordinarily make three
vows--to wit, those of chastity, poverty, and obedience: it was
therefore constituted and appointed that in this convent they might be
honorably married, that they might be rich, and live at liberty. In
regard to the legitimate age, the women were to be admitted from ten
till fifteen, and the men from twelve till eighteen.
For the fabric and furniture of the abbey, Gargantua caused to be
delivered out in ready money twenty-seven hundred thousand eight
hundred and one-and-thirty of those long-wooled rams; and for every
year until the whole work was completed he allotted threescore nine
thousand gold crowns, and as many of the seven stars, to be charged
all upon the receipt of the river Dive. For the foundation and
maintenance thereof he settled in perpetuity three-and-twenty hundred
threescore and nine thousand five hundred and fourteen rose nobles,
taxes exempted from all in landed rents, and payable every year at the
gate of the abbey; and for this gave them fair letters patent.
The building was hexagonal, and in such a fashion that in every one of
the six corners there was built a great round tower, sixty paces in
diameter, and were all of a like form and bigness. Upon the north side
ran the river Loire, on the bank whereof was situated the tower called
Arctic. Going toward the east there was another called Calær, the next
following Anatole, the next Mesembrine, the next Hesperia, and the
last Criere. Between each two towers was the space of three hundred
and twelve paces. The whole edifice was built in six stories,
reckoning the cellars underground for one. The second was vaulted
after the fashion of a basket-handle; the rest were coated with
Flanders plaster, in the form of a lamp foot. It was roofed with fine
slates of lead, carrying figures of baskets and animals; the ridge
gilt, together with the gutters, which issued without the wall between
the windows, painted diagonally in gold and blue down to the ground,
where they ended in great canals, which carried away the water below
the house into the river.
This same building was a hundred times more sumptuous and magnificent
than ever was Bonivet; for there were in it nine thousand three
hundred and two-and-thirty chambers, every one whereof had a
withdrawing-room, a closet, a wardrobe, a chapel, and a passage into a
great hall. Between every tower, in the midst of the said body of
building, there was a winding stair, whereof the steps were part of
porphyry, which is a dark-red marble spotted with white, part of
Numidian stone, and part of serpentine marble; each of those steps
being two-and-twenty feet in length and three fingers thick, and the
just number of twelve betwixt every landing-place. On every landing
were two fair antique arcades where the light came in; and by those
they went into a cabinet, made even with, and of the breadth of the
said winding, and they mounted above the roof and ended in a pavilion.
By this winding they entered on every side into a great hall, and from
the halls into the chambers. From the Arctic tower unto the Criere
were fair great libraries in Greek, Latin, Hebrew, French, Italian,
and Spanish, respectively distributed on different stories, according
to their languages. In the midst there was a wonderful winding stair,
the entry whereof was without the house, in an arch six fathoms broad.
It was made in such symmetry and largeness that six men-at-arms, lance
on thigh, might ride abreast all up to the very top of all the palace.
From the tower Anatole to the Mesembrine were fair great galleries,
all painted with the ancient prowess, histories, and descriptions of
the world. In the midst thereof there was likewise such another ascent
and gate as we said there was on the river-side.
In the middle of the lower court there was a stately fountain of fair
alabaster. Upon the top thereof stood the three Graces, with horns of
abundance, and did jet out the water at their breasts, mouth, ears,
and eyes. The inside of the buildings in this lower court stood upon
great pillars of Cassydonian stone, and porphyry in fair ancient
arches. Within these were spacious galleries, long and large, adorned
with curious pictures--the horns of bucks and unicorns; of the
rhinoceros and the hippopotamus; the teeth and tusks of elephants, and
other things well worth the beholding. The lodging of the ladies took
up all from the tower Arctic unto the gate Mesembrine. The men possest
the rest. Before the said lodging of the ladies, that they might have
their recreation, between the two first towers, on the outside, were
placed the tilt-yard, the hippodrome, the theater, the swimming-bath,
with most admirable baths in three stages, well furnished with all
necessary accommodation, and store of myrtle-water. By the river-side
was the fair garden of pleasure, and in the midst of that a fair
labyrinth. Between the two other towers were the tennis and fives
courts. Toward the tower Criere stood the orchard full of all
fruit-trees, set and ranged in a quincunx. At the end of that was the
great park, abounding with all sort of game. Betwixt the third couple
of towers were the butts for arquebus, crossbow, and arbalist. The
stables were beyond the offices, and before them stood the falconry,
managed by falconers very expert in the art; and it was yearly
supplied by the Candians, Venetians, Sarmatians, with all sorts of
excellent birds, eagles, gerfalcons, goshawks, falcons, sparrow-hawks,
merlins, and other kinds of them, so gentle and perfectly well trained
that, flying from the castle for their own disport, they would not
fail to catch whatever they encountered. The venery was a little
further off, drawing toward the park.
All the halls, chambers, and cabinets were hung with tapestry of
divers sorts, according to the seasons of the year. All the pavements
were covered with green cloth. The beds were embroidered. In every
back chamber there was a looking-glass of pure crystal, set in a frame
of fine gold garnished with pearls, and of such greatness that it
would represent to the full the whole person. At the going out of the
halls belonging to the ladies' lodgings were the perfumers and
hair-dressers, through whose hands the gallants passed when they were
to visit the ladies. These did every morning furnish the ladies'
chambers with rose-water, musk, and angelica; and to each of them gave
a little smelling-bottle breathing the choicest aromatical scents.
The ladies on the foundation of this order were appareled after their
own pleasure and liking. But since, of their own free will, they were
reformed in manner as followeth:
They wore stockings of scarlet which reached just three inches above
the knee, having the border beautified with embroideries and trimming.
Their garters were of the color of their bracelets, and circled the
knee both over and under. Their shoes and slippers were either of red,
violet, or crimson velvet, cut _à barbe d'écrévisse_.
Next to their smock they put on a fair corset of pure silk camblet;
above that went the petticoat of white, red tawny, or gray taffeta.
Above this was the _cotte_ in cloth of silver, with needlework either
(according to the temperature and disposition of the weather) of
satin, damask, velvet, orange, tawny, green, ash-colored, blue,
yellow, crimson, cloth of gold, cloth of silver, or some other choice
stuff, according to the day.
Their gowns, correspondent to the season, were either of cloth of gold
with silver edging, of red satin covered with gold purl, of taffeta,
white, blue, black, or tawny, of silk serge, silk camblet, velvet,
cloth of silver, silver tissue, cloth of gold, or figured satin with
golden threads.
In the summer, some days, instead of gowns, they wore fair mantles of
the above-named stuff, or capes of violet velvet with edging of gold,
or with knotted cordwork of gold embroidery, garnished with little
Indian pearls. They always carried a fair plume of feathers, of the
color of their muff, bravely adorned with spangles of gold. In the
winter-time they had their taffeta gowns of all colors, as above
named, and those lined with the rich furrings of wolves, weasels,
Calabrian martlet, sables, and other costly furs. Their beads, rings,
bracelets, and collars were of precious stones, such as carbuncles,
rubies, diamonds, sapphires, emerald, turquoises, garnets, agates,
beryls, and pearls.
Their head-dressing varied with the season of the year. In winter it
was of the French fashion; in the spring of the Spanish; in summer of
the fashion of Tuscany, except only upon the holidays and Sundays, at
which times they were accoutered in the French mode, because they
accounted it more honorable, better befitting the modesty of a matron.